The Cake Shop With a Large Order

Ugh, I can't believe it!

It sucks beyond description that I was stuck in the roof so badly I couldn't even move, but thank you for rescuing me!

Anyway, now that I've gotten that off my chest... What happened after Protea attacked me!?

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...

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize things were that bad. This is even more serious than I thought.

If I'd just defended against Protea's attack, Jinako wouldn't have had to fend her off all by herself.

It's not your fault, BB. It's a miracle that you're back with us at all.

Yep. Protea only managed to ambush you like that because it was the office area.

Those towersthe data servers, are even bigger than she is, after all.

So she wouldn't have been able to pull that ambush off anywhere else.

Besides, the better you know her, the less you'd expect her to be able to hide.

...

W-wait. What? Huuuuuuh!?

Hello. I'm Kishinami Hakuno. I've decided to do what I can to help Fujimaru out.

I see. So you're a local AI then. Thank you for your help.

I'm BB Cosmo, a BB unit from Chaldea.

I see. Nice to meet you, BB.

Okay, let's take stock of the situation.

Kingprotea suddenly decided to go full villain and annihilate humanity...

...starting with an attempt to lure Fujimaru into a trap and kill him.

She then landed a solid straight right to our darling heroine BB, knocking her right out of the ring.

Next, she destroyed Percival, Nikitich, and Bartholomew in the ensuing fight...

...then caught and ate Astolfo when he jumped in to save Fujimaru's life.

Absorbing Astolfo caused her to transform into a Moon Cancer, upon which she began attacking Old Dubai.

Then she went on to absorb Jinako, making her even more powerful.

She then got carried away and tried to eat Fujimaru as well, only to be met with a timely counter from Kishinami!

And that gave the rest of you an opportunity to escape Old Dubai, which you seized immediately.

And now, the second and third-gen AIs have safely been evacuated here, to the KOYAAN Mall.

The cost may have been great, but I'd say you managed the best possible outcome here.

That being said, the situation is...bad. Very, very bad.

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That's right. The ratings shifted over to Protea in a big way after she announced her slogan.

Incidentally, the nonvoters making up the final ten percent are the Old Dubaians right here in the mall.

Now that Protea's eliminated two of the other Moon Cancers from the election...

...she's been getting support from the same voters who originally switched to Area I from Area E.

That whole "strongest weapon" bit of hers is a lot more effective than we believed it'd be.

I'd bet Edison is howling with humiliation right about now.

At this rate, it's only a matter of time until Protea crosses the seventy percent threshold.

So we need to defeat her...and I mean like right away. Are you with me so far?

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I'll go. This time, I'll

Enough of that, Lip. Don't be stupid. You can't possibly defeat Protea as she is now.

Then what? Do you have a better idea, BB?

Of course I do!

I can't in good conscience say I thought this might happen, but I DO have a very special plan to handle it!

There's no need for any of you to go giant slaying this time.

No, the best way to fight a giant...is with a giant of your own!

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No, not me! Ugh, did you forget already? We're going to use the third Sakura Five member!

Oh, right. You did say you'd stationed three of the Sakura Five in Dubai for our trip.

Then, I guess this means Meltryllis is nearby?

Hehehe. I'm not talking about Melt. This time, I decided not to include her.

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Well, come on. She's ALWAYS rebelling against me. Not to mention she is such a spotlight hog...

But if not her, then who? I'm told Violet still hasn't formed a connection with Chaldea.

In TCG terms, this mysterious Sakura Five member would be in the secret slot. Who is she, you ask?

Well, I had a thought. "It's boring only having good girls around all the time. What's wrong with summoning another aspect at the same time?"

And with that flash of genius, I performed a forbidden multilayered summon to get an evil version of Protea hereProtea Alter!

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Um... I'm sorry, Protea Alter?

Oh, right. Protea became an Alter at one point through a...series of events.

My guess is that BB found a way to summon that version of Protea as a separate Spirit Origin.

Reckless as ever, I see. Haha! Well, don't blame me if this gets out of hand, okay?

Thank you so much for your concern♡ Your intuition is impressive, Senuh, Kishinami☆

So there's already a problem. I knew it.

Ghh...! Uh, well, I wouldn't call it a problem per se...

I've just been pinging Protea Alter for help after Protea Original sent me flying, but she still hasn't responded.

Luckily, I know where she is. Would you guys mind going to fetch her for me?

You've met her before, right, Fujimaru?

Protea Alter might be cruel and wicked enough to even ignore requests for help from her creator (that'd be me), but I'm sure you can convince her to help!

Now, get ready, because it's time to venture into the unexplored hellscape that is Area G!

Go find Protea Alter so we can put Protea Original back in her place!

I'll stay here and guard the mall. Don't worry, Senpai. I'll keep the Old Dubaians safe while you're gone.

I hate to pass up a chance to show off, but I'm going to stay here, too.

Besides, Protea Alter's not what you'd call fond of me, so I think it would only make this harder if I were with you.

So I'll stay here and defend the mall with Mash while you're out there persuading Miss Literal Big Bad♡

We're headed for Area G, at the edge of Moon Dubai.

So that's where Palter was stationed; the desolate, undeveloped desert region.

I guess even BB knew better than to send an Altered Servant into the city itself. Good thing, too.

By the way, is "Palter" your nickname for Protea Alter? It's kind of cute.

It's just a simple abbreviation, so I don't have to say "Protea Alter" every time.

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Attention, everyone. We have arrived at northeast Area G.

There are no docking facilities nearby, so please watch your step when disembarking.

Ms. Passionlip, if you require a wire to reach the shore, I would be happy to provide one.

That won't be necessary for such a short distance. You know, your warnings have gotten increasingly specific.

You do know that it is insulting to point out "danger" that is in no way an actual threat, right?

...So it would seem. I'm very sorry. I'll run a mental health routine after you leave and reflect on this new information.

Area G was the first urban area to be developed on the moon.

It was originally created to be a base for colonizing space before this area was chosen for development into Moon Dubai, but there are no detailed records from that time.

It's officially known as the "Velber War Ruins," and is currently designated as a danger zone.

...Phew.

So this is Area G... It really is a wasteland. I don't see any sign of Palter anywhere.

Although, there is something inside the crater. Is that...a town?

It looks like...a shopping district. I see several buildings clustered together. Shall we take a closer look?

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Yeah. It looks like it collided with the ground in this world, too.

Hm? You know what did this?

I've got an idea, yeah. But it has nothing to do with Moon Dubai.

It's basically all noise and no signal, so don't worry about it. More importantly...

Do you feel the ground shaking? We've got company.

Best we just deal with it now. It's that or tire ourselves out running. Are you two ready?

Y-yes! Leave it to me!

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I'm okay, but my other self's the real master of striking first to bring things to a swift end. Still, no harm in showing off now and then, right?

He did, Master? But, that was the Mooncell's observation light, wasn't it?

BB Dubai used the same Noble Phantasm I did?

Ohh, I see. Then she must have another Kishinami Hakuno there with her.

But that's not all that strange, right?

Look at us. We already have a Protea, but we're still on our way to see Protea Alter.

Does that mean...there are two of you in this world?

Not exactly. It's more along the lines of quantum fluctuations.

Yeah! This other Kishinami Hakuno must be evil to side with BB!

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I don't like it, either. I wish I knew what to do.

We were on the same page while we were working part-time at the gym while you were sightseeing in Dubai...

...but once it was clear you were going to max out the Joy Counter, she said she was going to join the stronger side and left.

Dammit. I can't believe she went to BB Dubai, of all people.

I-I see. I...suppose that does make rational sense.

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You're right. I apologize for lying to you about that. I hope you'll let me treat you to yakisoba bread later to make up for it.

The truth is, I'm just like you. I'm a Master who forms contracts with Servants and fights alongside them.

Well, I was, anyway.

I'm not taking part in Holy Grail Wars anymore. I couldn't form a new contract if I wanted anymore, either.

You came to Moon Dubai from another world. Well, so did I. I'm a former human from a different world.

In my world, the moon was the site of a massive Holy Grail War where one hundred and twenty-eight Masters fought each other to the death.

That Holy Grail War ended during the round I participated in, and the moon went on to become a new frontier.

In my world, that took place in 2030. Then, to make a long story short...

...we suddenly found ourselves summoned to Moon Dubai about a thousand years later.

I can think of several possible reasons why. For one, maybe your being brought here somehow dragged us along as well...

...since we're in such similar positions despite being from entirely different worlds.

It's also possible that Moon Dubai itself called us here to play some part it deemed crucial.

Or maybe the Holy Grail in our world went haywire and sent us here for no real reason.

Anyway, I don't know exactly why I'm here. I do know one thing, though.

Fujimaru, you Rayshifted here from the year 2019. So, you're here from the past.

Meanwhile, I came here from the year 3000, so as far as you're concerned, I'm from the future.

I know I don't look it, but I'm actually a thousand years old.

I know I don't look it, but I'm actually a thousand years old.

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Hahaha. Okay, I wasn't expecting so strong a reaction there. It's not THAT big a surprise, is it?

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Hmm, I wouldn't go that far.

But I suppose I have been through some stuff you might not believe.

Still, if that means I can be helpful now, then I'm glad. It'll mean I didn't go through all that hellI mean, hardship, for nothing.

So, let your senpai take the lead here. I can handle nearly anything...except haunted houses.

Okay, we've finally arrived at the buildings we saw in the center of the crater.

Although, this is...not what I was expecting...

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I can tell whoever put this together gave it their best effort. Obviously they weren't very successful...

It's almost like someone with no cleaning skills at all tried to show off how good they were at tidying up and things just kept going wrong until...this.

Then again, I shouldn't judge. I wouldn't want to make whoever did all this feel bad.

Anyway, it seems likely someone is living here, so let's start by checking out these buildings.

If someone does live here, the odds are high that they've seen Palter somewhere.

There appear to be four buildings in total. Should we split up to cover more ground?

Good idea. I'll check the one over there, with that weird sculpture on the roof.

Fujimaru, you and Lip go take a look at that other building.

Let's meet back up here in thirty minutes. Later.

...There he goes. Well, what shall we do, Master?

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You're right. It is difficult to walk on. I see there's a big nylon sheet spread over everything.

I think it's supposed to be a carpet...but that would be doing actual carpets a disservice. This is more like an attempt at making a carpet by someone who only ever heard rough, inconsistent descriptions of what carpets look like.

I would rather walk on bare dirt than whatever this is.

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Doing your best to find a silver lining? How very like you, Master.

Anyway, we don't have much time. Let's start investigating.

This building is amazingly well-shaded. It seems to have been made to not allow any outside light in at all.

I wonder why...

Oh! I never would have thought of that. Do you like darkness and black, Master?

I'm not fond of them, but I'm fine now since I'm not alone.

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...Hm? There's some sort of...sign here, I think? I'll see what it says.

Um...

"Welcome to the enchanting Cake Table Garden. A singular experience, all for you."

"Open from 1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. The shop will close once we are out of stock."

"Our cakes are very popular and sell out quickly. If you miss your chance, please come back another day."

...Huh?

I found the same sign over in my building. I guess...this must be a cake shop then.

A shop that's only open for one hour a day? That's absurd.

Even the most famous pâtissiers are more hospitable than that.

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The door with the sign on it was already closed. It's 2:30 right now, so I guess we just missed them.

If it really is a garden, the shop's probably up on the roof.

What do you think? It doesn't have anything to do with Protea Alter, but...

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You know, I feel the same way. Let's go see what this shop's all about!

How, though? The staircase leading to the roof is closed.

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Um... You don't mean

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No, Master. Those are no ordinary cakes.

Each slice contains fifty thousand calories. I can't even imagine how many are in the whole cake.

This is not a garden with cake. It literally is a garden OF cake.

Hahaha. Just in case you're wondering, we don't have anything like this in the future, either.

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Based on the ingredients used to make them, they do qualify.

Though their design makes them seem as though they're trying not to be ordinary cakes.

Maybe if they taste (Munch) as good as they look, (Munch) they could call themselves a first-rate bakery...

...but the incredible scale is definitely a drawback. Hmm. Maybe they're going for impact above all else? (Munch)

You can't even order one for takeout. No matter how good they taste, (Munch) there's no way they'd get enough customers to make a profit.

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Wow, this chocolate chip is the size of a whole cookie. It even has a hint of coffee flavor that really goes down smooth.

Hey, I know! A place with so many cakes must have Swiss rolls too!

Only problem is, all these cakes are blocking the view to the back. Guess I'll just have to eat my way through them...

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Quite right. One should never eat something strange one encounters on a journey.

Recall the witch with the gingerbread house. Recall the wildcat's restaurant.

Recall the food served in the land of the dead seasoned with domestic violence itself.

Travelers who partake of the food in such situations are never heard from again.

...Aaand here you are, already gorging yourselves even as I warn you. It's too late. You've crossed a line. There is no return.

Hello, unauthorized intruders. I'm the Cake Guardian.

Please remain calm and hear me out.

At present, I am overcome by shock and fury at your eating of the cupcake I have been carefully watching for three full days now.

Translation: it's go time.

I hope the cream coating your limbs was worth it, because I will be tearing the cream along with the limbs it covers from you now.

Waaah!

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Nnn... I feel...heavy... And, I think...my stomach feels...rumbly?

No, that can't be rightI mean yes I've been gorging myself on fifty thousand calories every day but I've also been exercising enough to burn them all off.

The only explanation is...there must be a critical bug in my suit's weight control functionality...

I thought it would be nice if there was a way to convert the mass you eat into gravity but I guess there isn't which is too bad.

I can't hear her so well. Is she chanting a curse or something? Do you know this person, Fujimaru?

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Hm? That voice... Is that you, Master? I'm not dreaming or hallucinating? Oh good.

Hello, Master. Hello to you, too, Lip.

And you must be a new addition to the team. I like your outfit. Very retro-futuristic.

I'm XX Alter. Sorry for attacking you. I have been strangely sleepy lately; my eyelids just haven't been able to defy gravity.

(I guess she couldn't completely digest her calorie-fueled rampage...)

So, what are you doing at Cake Table Garden? I'm afraid it's already closed for the day.

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Oho. So that's what you are curious about, is it?

Very well. It's a long, long story, a guaranteed episode for the ages.

Normally, I would charge money to tell it, but for you, I'll do the first telling free of charge.

After BB Dubai compressed my Spirit Origin into a cube...

...I quickly extracted myself and escaped from the Burj Khalifa.

I have experience escaping bottomless pits, you see. I've even come back from being pulled into a black hole.

Unfortunately, my effort came at a cost. I was low on magical energy, barely conscious, and no longer able to maintain my Spirit Origin.

It was in that precarious state that I decided to make my way to this crater.

I detected a delectably sweet scent coming from this direction. It tickled my every survival instinct.

Still clinging tooth and nail to consciousness atop this very tale, I shouted, "Aah, I must be dreaming!" and let my rational mind slip away like so much whipped cream from atop a parfait.

???

So you allowed yourself to become an animal, ruled by instinct?

I did, yes.

This garden is the work of the devil.

While in general, I prefer to sample a wide variety of delicious treats without eating my fill...

...this presented me with a chance to experience truly infinite unforgettable memories.

Consequently, I know now that there is actually more than one kind of infinite.

I've never been more grateful to be alive than when I was eating cakes so enormous that I literally could not finish them, no matter how hard I tried.

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Exactly. I was a villain trapped in a prison of my own cakingmaking. Of my own making.

...Well, that's not to say I didn't attempt to leave a few times. I really did.

But this bakery's manager is very strong, and insisted I stay and work for her.

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Of course it's me. Just look around. There are cakes the size of cars all over the place.

Puny humans like you could never make anything like them.

This is Cake Table Garden, the dining table of giants. If any little animals should happen to wander in here and get eaten, well, that's their own fault, isn't it?

Of course it's me. Just look around. There are cakes the size of cars all over the place.

Puny humans like you could never make anything like them.

This is Cake Table Garden, the dining table of giants. If any little animals should happen to wander in here and get eaten, well, that's their own fault, isn't it?

(She's dressed all in black, but that's definitely Kingprotea! And she's even bigger than usual!)

(Her default size is five meters. She doubles every level, so, ten, twenty, forty, eighty...)

(She's grown all the way to level five! Even though she's supposed to revert once she reaches level four!)

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M-M-Manager. Hi there. I thought you'd already left for the day.

I've been sitting here watching the table this whole time. You guys just never noticed.

Or what? Did you think I was a mountain or something just because I was a giant dark mass that was perfectly stationary?

Exactly. I thought you were another pile of useless trash you had brought here from the ruins.

...You know, I've been going easy on you since you're a fellow Alter, but maybe it's time I fired you.

Who gave you a job as a security guard when you were a penniless dine-and-dasher? Who's been feeding you cake every single day since you got here?

You, Manager. Sorry, Manager. I remember our contract now, Manager.

"I, the security guard, agree to taste-test one cake per day. For every cake I eat, I agree to work for two days."

Of course, your cakes are so big that eating one a day leaves me stuffed, so I then go about my guard duties in a state of near-mindless bliss.

It truly is an infinite labor loop. Strangely, it feels like I'll never be free, no matter how many days I work.

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Don't tell me how to run my business.

For that matter, why are you here, anyway? Didn't you see the signs?

What do you think you're doing, sneaking in after business hours? Are you rats? Is that it?

No, wait. That's not fair to rats, is it? You're more like ants swarming around a sugar cube.

You thought you could come in here and help yourselves to my cakes without paying.

Well, if you like it that much, that's fine. I'll just coat you in sugar and put you on display.

Wait. We're here to stop Kingprotea.

I'm sure you don't like the idea of obeying BB either, but we need your help to keep Moon Dubai safe.

Huh? You came here to stop me? Keep Moon Dubai safe?

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...That was all very polite. You even looked me in the eye while you said it.

Okay. Out of respect for how brave you are, I'll at least hear you out.

Juuust kidding. Did you really think I would listen to anything an ant had to say? Know your place, brat♡

Anyway, yes, I'll hear you out. Right after I finish turning you into cake decorations.

And of course, you know what's going to happen afterwards, right? Oh yes. Cry and scream all you want, you're still taking a swan dive into my tummy.

Our attempt to persuade Palter has failed. Not that I ever expected it to succeed.

Master, Kishinami, please prepare for battle.

The Sakura Five almost always refuse to listen until they've had some sense knocked into them.

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Hmm. I might never get another opportunity like this. Sneeeak.

XX Alter!? You're betraying me!? And you call yourself a knight!?

Correct. I am betraying you. I'm a villain. This is what I do. Sayonara.

Okay, Master, I'll help, too.

Now is the time to destroy that ginormous cake-making machine and restore peace to the world!

Huh? What happened to saving the world?

Nobody else here said anything like that, traitor!

...!

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You lost, even with all your strength. Are you going to further stain your oversized pride by refusing to admit defeat?

Khh! Where do you get off sounding like Violet all of a su

...sudden...

...Did you revert to your initial state, Lip?

Yes. The records pertaining to the Passionlip who was part of Chaldea are gone.

Right now, I'm the same egoless version of myself I was when BB first made me.

What's going on here, Fujimaru?

Tell me what happened to Passionlip. No... To all of us.

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Okay, I'll help you. Just give me ten minutes to get ready.

Just like that? Do you understand what it is we want you to do?

Punch Protea's lights out, right? Fine by me. I was just thinking we'd need to settle things one day, anyway.

Hmm...

I did hear you right when you said she's been getting bigger with every Moon Cancer she absorbs, right?

Yes. She's about a hundred meters tall after absorbing Astolfo and Jinako.

You look like you're about eighty meters tall. Do you still think you can win?

Twenty meters is nothing. I can grow that much without even having to work for it.

Protea's Huge Scale skill was originally born from her yearning to grow.

She'll keep growing as long as she's alive. It's kind of like she has a few Embers at all times.

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Beats me. Still, you said she's a Moon Cancer herself now, right?

Maybe it's just more efficient for her to absorb beings of the same attribute as her.

Okay, I'm ready. You said I should go to the Mall in Area E first, right?

I'm not going to bother matching your pace; I'll just go on ahead.

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Uh, have you got a death wish?

I'm going to keep growing as I walk to be more of a match for Protea.

And I won't be able to do that if I'm constantly worried about dropping you guys along the way.

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Why? Well... Um...

THIS is my post? What was BB thinking?

How am I supposed to entertain Master in a place like this?

... ...

Ugh, I hate that this Spirit Origin gets hungry even at times like this. Stupid original Protea.

I can't believe I have to get my own food. Me, the strongest member of the Sakura Fi

Food! That's it!

I can finally make my dream come true! Plus, I can use my Noble Phantasm to make as much milk as I want!

Just you wait, BB! Prepare to be amazed, humans! I'm going to open the greatest cake shop the world has ever seen!

So you'd better catch wind of the rumors and get here as soon as possible!

...Because I just happened to find the equipment and ingredients needed to make them here. Plus, I could get fruit from Area D pretty easily.

Every day has been a blast. I've just been out here doing something I love, with no Master to boss me around.

Huh? Then why did you keep complaining to me about how long it was taking him to show u

And of course, how could I forget what an absolute delight it was, treating XX Alter like a slave?

I'll tell you what, Master. She still has thirteen days' worth of debt to pay off, and I'm passing it all on to you.

Happy? Thrilled? Wondering how you could possibly pay me back for such generosity? Of course you are. Okay then, I'll add a condition for my cooperation.

"Fujimaru must eat one of Table Garden's cakes every day."

Got that? If I'm going to help you defeat Protea, you can help me clear out my inventory, right, Master?