Elegant Dance

...May I see your invitation? ...Very good. Please go in.

...I can't believe that actually worked. How was it possible?

Who knows, who cares. I sure don't.

I've gotta say though, in that getup...

?

...you look like some horrid wax doll.

What a coincidence; you look the part of a genuine witch. Shouldn't you be off trying to burn France?

Hehehe, sounds like you're the one in need of burning.

Is that not why you're here? To burn things?

What's this?

These are the radios the old man gave us. What a pain; I still don't see why we have to use them.

I believe it would be to all our advantage not to have our magical energy detected, don't you?

Are you sure it isn't merely that you distrust magecraft?

Hmm... I suppose that could have something to do with it. I am a modern man top to bottom, after all.

I am of course aware of magecraft, and even account for it in my plans, but I have never delved very deep into it.

Well, I can't say I'm surprised.

It was only by ruthlessly targeting that sole bit of humanity you revealed that I was able to close in on you.

So that's why you were so friendly with the Mage's Association back when we were alive. You probably don't even care for magecraft yourself!

At any rate, Master, how are you managing?

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What's the problem? It seems like a perfect disguise to me.

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Hahaha! Oh Moriarty, that's not why "she" is upset.

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The Assassin knows what you look like. Your disguise needs to be funny enough to make up for that.

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I admit I don't have much experience in disguising others...but I daresay yours came out rather well.

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Now now, do not be like that, Master.

Yeah, you look good. You're a regular pretty princess.

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I wish Mash could see this. ...You there.

Yes? Oh my, aren't you a pretty picture. I would sell my soul for a smile, dear heart.

Do you have a camera?

Er, uh... No, I don't.

Then begone from my sight. ...Now, you there.

Y-yes?

Do you have a camera?

W-well, my cell phone does.

Hmph... This picture quality is terrible, but I suppose beggars cannot be choosers.

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I most certainly would. Hold him, Jeanne.

Hey, for once we're on the exact same page!

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All right, now smile, Master.

Let's take a few more to be safe. Now we just need to upload these to Chaldea's server.

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Now now, don't be like that. This is a good experience for you.

Oh, and I'm going to borrow this phone for a while. Go buy a new one.

Are you serious?

Anyway, when's the damn Assassin going to show up? I hate this dress so much...

Stop flapping around like that, you idiot.

What'd you just say!?

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...I couldn't care less about that, but fine, I'll stop flapping my dress.

Never mind that. Master, seeing how you're also dressed for the occasion, would you care to dance?

Is there a problem with that? Besides, you're dressed like a man now anyway.

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If others can learn to dance in a dress, so can you.

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Let us enjoy ourselves until the Assassin of Shinjuku shows up.

...Hmph.

I see your skill as a Master has done nothing to make you a capable dancer.

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No matter, you can learn. Of course, I never danced while I was alive either.

But intuition can make up for that sort of thing.

I must say though, dancing with another woman like this is rather fun.

Even our spectators appear to be enjoying themselves.

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Stop whining and look around.

It seems we are the center of attention.

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Heh.

...Ugh, you're pissing me off. Who cares about dancing? Stop passing that off as intuition.

Excuse me, miss. Would you mind if... N-never mind.

Tch, screw this. I'm gonna burn this whole damn place down!

All that cash they're carrying should help 'em light up real nice.

(Master, please hurry up and find the Assassin. Otherwise, we may all end up in a towering inferno!)

...All right, Fujimaru.

There are a number of armed men upstairs, most likely bodyguards. He should be here soon.

The Assassin of Shinjuku always disguises himself when he goes out in public. It almost makes me sorry that he'll never be able to reveal himself and properly claim the glory he seeks.

Ah, regardless, even if we were to find his base of operations, force our way in, and destroy his Noble Phantasm, he would simply disappear amidst the chaos.

But, if we have you and your world-class eye for appraising Servants, that changes things!

Some may be surprised to see Servants. But few will be taken aback by your presence.

On top of that, we'll be deep within enemy territory! This will be yet another dangerous mission!

That is why I'm asking you two to dress up and fight, since you're both such capable Servants.

Now what was that expression again...? Ah, yes!

The clothes make the man!

But I was praising you...

Sometimes, Moriarty, it's hard to believe you're my archnemesis.

...Here he comes.

Well hello everyone! It's so good of you to come!

Let me tell you, with things as hellish as they are here, you are doing a FANTASTIC job of helping us.

Thanks to you, those who defy us are keeping quiet, and there are fewer wastes of space every day!

We appreciate everything you do for us as well.

Your Hornets have been invaluable in ridding us of riffraff like those ruffians and Coloraturas.

It's we who should be thanking you.

Oh, how absurdly wonderful! (Especially since the world is going to end.) Now, let's enjoy ourselves.

Tonight is a night to celebrate. Go on, make absolute pigs of yourselves!

...Hey. I distinctly remember that face.

Easy there, easy! Master, please, help Altria calm down!

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I am perfectly calm, Master. But my sacred sword shall not stand for this.

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Let's not give up just yet, shall we!

What would you like us to do with the money we collected?

What else? Use some to buy more food and drink for us.

As for the rest... Let's take over Kabukicho. Now that Berserker is gone, we can run a store there.

Give them everything they want, and take everything they have.

I don't believe they had anything of value worth taking.

I'm talking about taking three things: pride, love, and courage.

Ask them whether they'll crawl on their hands and knees to swear loyalty to us. Entice parents to sell off their kids, and kids to sell off their parents.

Make it so they never even think about the possibility of defying us.

That way, everyone's happy: me, you, the entire world!

Yes, sir.

Now let's go out there and grab us some glory!

You know, there are a lot of beautiful women this time. Perhaps we could keep one or two of them?

Oho, women, hmm? I can't say I care about that sort of thing myself, but let's take a look...

Hmm... Hmm...

Huh!?

No way! This can't be right.

What the hell's going on!?

Wh-what is it, sir!?

Don't "What is it, sir!?" me! Take a look at her!

Yes, that's one of the women I... Huh, you know, she looks just like the face you're using today, Boss.

That's it, you're dead to me.

Guh...!

Boss!?

Summon the Hornets. She's a Servant. We need to take her out now!

Y-yes, Boss!

And make up some excuse to kick the sponsors out of here. She obviously plans to involve them.

Like a moth to the flame, eh. Now, get her!

I finally got permission to reopen communications! Master! I just have to say, you look great!

I'm going to treasure this photo forever!

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Thank goodness we're not too late! Now then, let's start by taking care of these fellows, shall we!

What say we cut them down to size!

Tch! Send in more reinforcements!

Send in the Coloraturas too! Did the sponsors leave yet? Good! Don't worry about the rest!

Send in the newly made S.P.! I hear they cause lots of collateral damage, but y'know, beggars and choosers!

...Wait. She's here too!?

I'm picking up a new enemy signal. Be careful, Master!

What the...? Something's weird about this.

My beloved you!

My beloved me!

Now we shall be as one for all of time, where death's cold grasp can never do us part!

Ahh, Romeo! Ahh, Juliet!

Now peace we shall restore forevermore. Blend in, like us!

Huh... Gaaah! Don't touch me! I'm melting, I'm meeelting!

...Now I see. First King Lear, now Romeo and Juliet.

Hahaha, I cannot imagine Shakespeare will appreciate this version!

And so it is demonstrated what becomes of star-crossed lovers, hm?

You know, not that I care about any of this crap or anything, but they are pretty damn pathetic.

Love that is just a pain in the ass for everyone around is nothing more than a stupid delusion!

And this Dragon Witch isn't going to let you losers get away with it for one more second!

That takes care of that!

Romeo and Juliet are down! Sorry, Mr. Shakespeare!

...The time is upon us. Are you ready to remove your disguise, Master?

Master, there's more of them... A lot more!

Surround them! Whatever you do, don't let them use their Noble Phantasms!

Don't worry! I'll kill them when the time is right!

...I knew it. It won't work. The Spirit Origin values don't match the last ones!

We know the Assassin of Shinjuku is among these dozens of people, but we can't tell which one.

No matter. As long as he is among the crowd, our plan will work.

Now, Master!

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Huh!?

...?

The Master from Chaldea!?

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There you are, Assassin!

Dammit! I can't believe I fell for such a cheap trick!

I am sure you meant to say "devilishly cunning trap," young man!

All right, now that we're inside, Assassin has nowhere to run! This is our chance to deal with him!

I've marked the Assassin of Shinjuku as the target! Please concentrate your attacks on him!

Tch. Oh well, I knew this day would come eventually. I couldn't get off scot-free forever!

It just happened a little sooneror is that later?than I thought it would.

I can't complain. For that matter, I haven't even lost yet!

All right everyone, get out there, fight, and die! Die for my sake, and for yours! But mostly mine!

Die for glory and desire! My star is the Skillful Star!

I am Yan Qing, one of the 108 Stars of Destiny! Prepare yourself!

Ngh...!

You're mine!

Dammit! I guess I have no choice!

...I'm detecting strong shocks throughout the lower floors of the building!

A bomb!?

You have approximately twenty-three seconds until the building collapses! You two, help Master escape!

Hang on, Master!

We're going to jump!

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Stop shouting! It's irritating, and you'll bite through your tongue!

Welp, now we're all gonna die.

Good thing this is happening in this crappy version of Shinjuku, and not somewhere people actually care about.

...Now what became of Holmes and Moriarty? Are they dead? They must be dead.

I am very much alive, thank you! In fact, I'm feeling positively capital!

Hahahaha! I'm afraid I can't afford to die just yet.

Eee!

...

Wh-what in the world was that...? What's goingUgh...

Why don't you tell us your deduction, Moriarty.

Why, it is him, of course.

I concur. Shall we elucidate?

Now then Assassin of Shinjuku, née Yan Qing, I'm afraid we can't let you go now that it's come to this.

Quite right!

...How did you know?

Holmes and I have quite a lot of experience in dueling disguises with one another, you see.

We hardly need a moment to tell whether or not someone is truly on the brink of death.

I could point out thirteen mistakes you made while pretending to stagger along. But...we have more pressing matters to attend to, don't we?

...Fine with me. I wouldn't do anything differently anyway.

As a proud Star of Destiny, I'm prepared to meet my fate.

...Actually, I guess I lost any pride I had a long time ago, so...crap.

Wait, I know! I've got a great excuse!

After doppelgänging into so many people, I've lost track of who I really am.

Did you know that I keep all of my doppelgängers' memories?

Those ruffians who died over trivial crap... The nouveau riche who exploited others...

Even Hassan, who kept fighting all by himself here in Shinjuku right up until I killed him.

They're all right here, inside my head. Dammit, dammit, dammit!

I tried to stop my lord, I really did. But that hopeless fool only said:

"Don't worry, my glory is assured!"

...What a foolish lord. And an equally foolish vassal.

I should have stopped him, even if it meant killing him. Then he could at least have died without being betrayed.

And with his heart still full of pride.

Ahh... Whatever happened to my pride...?

...The Assassin of Shinjuku's Spirit Origin has vanished.

Pride, hm? Is such a thing truly necessary to live one's life?

How should I know? I'm just a fake. You can throw pride to the dogs for all I care.

Ah, of course. That is just what I'd expect a giant panda lacking in pride to say.

Well excuuuse me for not being proud aboutPanda!?

Ah, I see. What with the black and white coloration...

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IT'S A FLAAAG!!!

All right, now that the Assassin of Shinjuku has been dealt with...

This calls for a night of drinking at Golden Gai!

I'm exhausted. Let's go home, Master.

I'd sooner die than go drinking with you. I'm out of here.

If we two were to drink, it would just be a matter of time before one of us went full Reichenbach.

...I say, Master.

Perhaps it truly is the case that young people don't care to go drinking with older gentlemen like myself?

I suppose it could well be construed as a kind of harassment.

You sound like a manager who's only just figuring out that his subordinates can't stand him.

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Oh, right, so you can't drink at all then. Hmm, very well.

While my own leanings toward the evil side of the spectrum leave me wishing for nothing more than to initiate Fujimaru into the mysteries of refined spirits...

I shall refrain from doing so, as I can clearly see his guardians are rather...protective.

Something you wish to say, Moriarty? If you are prepared to face the consequences, you may speak.

Nope, I'm good.

...Wait. I hear something.

!

That howl...!

...Guess who's back. First three don't count.