Those Who Laugh During the End of Yuga

Aśvatthāman! Of all the times for him to show up!

Indeed, I was just about to remind you. I assume none of you have forgotten what day it is.

Today is the Kali Yuga, when the entire world is unmade and recreated.

If we are to safely avoid its effects, I might suggest that you begin your retreat toward the Border. Alacrity would be advisable.

Can't you see what we're dealing with here, detective? We can't possibly turn our backs on this opponent.

Dammit, it's just been one thing after another!

Oh, I almost forgot. What're you doing here, Asha? Where's your dad?

He... He hurt his leg, and he's at the healer's right now...

Gotcha... That sounds serious, but right now, you've gotta get outta here and hide, Asha!

O-okay...

Aśvatthāman is bound to come after us if we try to run away.

Since we destroyed the giant kali, the townspeople should be able to look after themselves.

So, I think the best thing we could do now is try to make a break for it.

There are two problems with that idea. First, Aśvatthāman is a powerful Servant.

With all of us so exhausted, merely escaping him isn't going to be easy.

If we're not careful, he'll end up mowing us down the moment we turn our backs on him.

And second, I'd really like to finish Tell off while we have the chance.

We need to eliminate him if we're going to defeat Arjuna, and we may never get another chance like this again!

Yeah, but... What about, you know, our lives? Shouldn't surviving be our first priority?

I mean, even if we do manage to take him down, what's the point if we all end up dead 'cause we failed to get away?

I know. I know, but...! Grr, dammit!

Nn...gh...

Tch, just what we needed.

You awake now? Good, then you can help me take care of these guys. Especially since you were supposed to

What the!?

(Huff... Huff...) Nope, I just can't seem to remember anything from my old life.

But...I do remember there was something from it I was forced to forget.

That's right... I know there was something real important to me...something I don't have anymore.

And I know you and that god were the ones who took it!

Are they falling out with each other!? No, wait. It looks like...

It looks like William Tell was never a complete Lōkapāla to begin with.

At any rate, now's our chance to run for it! Let's get out of here!

Fo fooou!

？！

Wha...!? Hey, get back here, dammit! Oh, now I am REALLY PISSED!!! You're gonna pay for that, old ma

He's gone too. Guess he must've used Vāyu's power to make an escape. I doubt he'll last long with those wounds if he pushes himself too hard, but still... Dammit!

Well, if I can only go after one of 'em...might as well stick to the ones I can see.

Aśvatthāman is coming after us! I was afraid this might happen!

Keep running! I'll hold him off at the rear!

I know about his amazing regenerative abilities. They practically make him immortal.

I may not be able to defeat him now, but I would at least like to stop him from coming after us.

Of course, since he'll recover from most damage as soon as we inflict it on him, I'll probably have to cut off both his legs to do even that.

Dammit, that's just as much work as defeating him! Especially while trying to make an escape at the same time!

Hmm...?

Ghh... Of all the...stupid times! Rrgh... Damn...it...

That damn...conceptual arrow must've triggered it...! Ghh... Aaaaaahhh!

Now he's writhing around on the ground and sweating like a pig... What's going on? It looks like... he's in pain?

I don't know what's going on, but I'm not about to look this particular gift horse in the mouth! Let's get out of here while we can!

Khh, guh... Dammit... Now I'm...really pissed...!

Now that they know about me, I'm sure the false god won't hesitate to erase me with everything else he doesn't want in the world.

You're certain that I can avoid the cataclysm as long as I'm on board your ship, yes?

Absolutely! ...Speaking of which, it looks like Arjuna's started to charge up his Noble Phantasm, right on schedule!

...

Confirming our distance from Arjuna now... Good, we should be safe here.

The one thing we must avoid at all costs is a direct attack on the Border.

We can't escape to Void Space without a vehicle capable of a Zero Sail, after all.

We're only a few hundred meters away from the rendezvous. It looks like we won't have any trouble reaching it in time.

I can hear the Border's engine now! Ahh, home sweet home!

Now don't start that! This is NOT your home, dammit!

All that aside, I still kinda wonder why Aśvatthāman stopped chasing us.

I don't think he stopped so much as he

Good, I've got a visual on your position! We'll get ready for the Zero Sail as soon as we rendezvous!

Wait... Huh!? Hold up! Hold everything!

What is it, Meunière!? If this is about taking a bathroom break, you should've thought of that before we left!

What? No! There's a Servant right next to the rendezvous point!

What!? Did one of them come after us!? This is terrible! What if they attack the Border!?

No... We need not worry about that. Based on these readings I'm seeing, the answer is plain to see.

They're wounded.

This Servant has clearly been so gravely injured that they are no longer able to move.

Furthermore...

F-furthermore?

...it is a Servant we are all familiar with, Director Goredolf. Though we are decidedly not on friendly terms, unfortunately...

Fujimaru and his team should be coming up on her shortly. For the moment, I suggest we wait to see what happens.

Perhaps then, we will be able to determine what brought her here...

Wat.

That emperor who embodied all of humanity was one thing, but I can destroy a mere warrior like you with just a few bites!

Alas, my shortsightedI mean, lovely bark turned out to be worse than my bite... Now I see what they mean when they say the brightest stars burn out the quickest...

That locally sourced Lōkapāla is on a whole different level. He must be the most powerful Servant in this Lostbelt, excepting Arjuna.

And if that weren't enough, he even had some powerful holy sutras equipped, no doubt thanks to that damn monk...

I can't break out my other tails here in this India. That would put me too close to my original for comfort.

My goal is to become an entirely new nine-tailed beast, after all. I refuse to be part of obsolete folklore.

Oh well, at least I was able to punch that angry meathead's stupid front teeth down his stupid throat before I made my escape! Ahh, that felt good!

All I have to worry about now...

...is that god's monstrous power.

Now that I've been marked as an undesirable, I can't afford to get caught in it. And try as I might to leave...

(Sigh) It isn't just those damn sutras holding me back. If only I hadn't taken that side trip to South America...

At any rate, it looks like I won't be able to manifest in any other region until I can get rid of this "virtue."

In which case...

Well, any port in a storm. Like I always say, this world is all about give and take.

If I have to hitch a ride to avoid getting wiped out of existence, then so be it.

I believe...she's attempting to hitchhike.

Wha... Wha... What in the world is that minx thinking!?

Hmm... Unfortunately, she's too close to the rendezvous for us to go around her without losing a lot of time.

But of course, there's no telling what she might do if we stay on track and end up running into her... What should we do?

？！

Huh!? Whoa, whoa, whoa! You better not be thinking what I think you're thinking, Fujimaru!

I know she helped us out a little in China, but that hardly makes us allies! Not by a long shot!

Besides, let's not forget that it was completely, entirely, one-hundred percent her fault that we were poisoned in the first place!

？！

Fou, fooou!?

There, you see! Even the little fur ball knows we can't trust her!

Come on, we need to make a choice here!

That's fine if you wanna ignore her, but you should know she's charging up some weird kind of magical energy!

She's holding both hands up and forming some kind of glowing ball of energy above her head!

Fou! Fo fooou!

And just look at that smile. I can almost hear her saying:

"If you don't come get me, I'm gonna use all my remaining power to blow myself up and take you all out with me."

...Meunière, I recommend making a detour.

We should pick up Fujimaru's group at least ten kilometers away from her.

I told you, we don't have time for that!

Besides, they're already going as fast as they can!

？！

Grrr...! Oh, all right! I'll consider this a distress signal and allow it just this once!

She may be one of our most contemptible enemies, but abandoning someone asking for help would just lead to more headaches down the road!

Yeah, pretty much. Besides, you let me on board when I was in trouble.

You might as well do the same for Koyanskaya.

Also, those injuries of hers? It looks to me like she had a falling out with one of our other enemies.

I had a feeling that was going to happen sooner or later.

If that's true, that would mean she's become a target for Arjuna's Noble Phantasm.

It would certainly explain why she's looking to the Border, of all places, for refuge.

Bringing her on board does pose a risk, but we also know she's been weakened. If she attempts anything untoward, we will not be defenseless.

Furthermore, we may be able to gain new and valuable information from her, or even have her fight with us again for a time.

True, true. But I warn you to exercise the utmost caution!

That minx's devilish charms were powerful enough to deceive even a first-class dandy like myself!

If we're going to let her on board, we should put a bag over her head or something just to be safe!

Uh, I'm pretty sure we won't have to worry about that. We all know real well what sort of person she is by now...

Don't be ridiculous! You're the one I'm worried about the most, Carpaccio!

I can tell from the "beta male" look on your face that practically screams "2D girlfriends are all I need" that you'd be powerless against her charms!

You're worried about ME!? What are you, my mom!?

...Are you quite sure you'll be all right?

Positive.

Well...all right then.

Still, I'm going to give myself a few good dabs of this cologne, just in case.

(In case of what, exactly...?)

All right, go ahead and do a full throttle drift to the spot right between Fujimaru and Koyanskaya!

We'll depart once again as soon as we've taken all necessary precautions!

Oh good, you stopped. I guess this means you're letting me on?

？！

But of course. I would never expect a free ride♡

Grrr, fou! Fou fou, fooou!

Oh my, little Fou, you really do have it out for me, don't you? Ooh, I'm so scaaared.

Anyway, let's get going, shall we? Or is the plan to put me in some BDSM gear before we get moving?

Perhaps one of you is giddy at the thought of an opportunity to do all sorts of naughty things he missed his chance for in China?

I-I-I'll have you know I was thinking nothing of the sort!

The only thing I'm hopeful for at the moment is the Suspension Bridge Effect!

At the moment, I would prefer you get on the Border posthaste, so we can begin our Zero Sail preparations.

I tried to ensure we would have time to spare, but I have a bad feeling about what's coming... Do try to hurry!

Hehe, hehehehe, hahahahahaha! How unexpectedly thrilling!

Perhaps you were simply unaware, my dear Chaldeans?

Oh my, this will never do. Surely you should know better than that by now, no?

This world gets leaner and leaner as more excess is shaved off with each yuga cycle!

That, of course, means that it requires a bit less energy to destroy it as the cycles go on...

So if you were expecting it to take as long as it did before, why, you might just find yourselves running a liiittle short on time.

Hehe, hahahahaha! Go on, god! Let us proceed with the next culling!

...Huh?

I see. So you want me to help run this world so you don't have to bother yourself with trivial matters, huh.

And by running this world...you also mean taking care of people less than inclined to cooperate.

Heh. Well, I hate to tell you this after you went and summoned me, but I'm not the man for the job.

My arrows are meant for shooting apples off my son's head, and for shooting that scumbag Vogt through the heart.

I'll never use them to shoot children. So, guess that's that. Sorry.

...What will you do now?

If that is...his reason...for refusing to obey me...then those thoughts are...unnecessary...

There is something...inside him...that should not...be there.

Indeed, indeed. I couldn't agree more. But, as luck would have it, the next yuga cycle is almost upon us.

All you need do is remove that defect from him, and he will then have no choice but to serve you faithfully...

I thought I was only going along with you guys as a hunter for hire.

And as the guy being hired, I expected you to pay me for my help.

Nobody ever told me I'd be the one paying you such a heavy price. Consider our contract null and void!

Apfel Schießen!!!

You fool! Your idiocy knows no bounds! What can a half-dead Archer's arrow hope to do against a god!?

Mm...

What!? It hit!?

I always make sure to hit the targets I can't afford to miss. Like the apple on my son's head.

But of course...I also have another arrow ready to go, just in case I miss. That second arrow is my true Noble Phantasm.

It doesn't matter if my Zweite Schießen's target is an evil Vogt or a god...it'll still find its mark.

There are some shots you can only make after you've already missed.

...Now I see. Your Noble Phantasm interferes with causality!

It's a shadow arrow that's guaranteed to hit if the arrow before it misses! And on top of that, you infused it with all of Vāyu's divine power to make doubly sure it hit its target!

Though of course, that's still not nearly enough to so much as scratch him...

If this good-for-nothing hunter managed to get god's attention, even for just a few seconds...

...I'll consider that plenty meaningful in itself, knowing that a human's will reached him.

After all, a few seconds has got to count for a lot when you're a god remaking the entire world.

...!

Hehe, surprised?

If the look on your face is any indication, this wasn't for nothing after all.

Well, I'm just that much happier I took the extra effort to rouse these bones for one final shot.

Your entire being...has become...unnecessary...

Haha, you think I didn't see this coming? I know how close I am to dying better than anyone.

But you know, the wounded quarry is the most dangerous as the end closes in.

There's nothing stronger or more dangerous than a cornered animal. I know that better than most.

Oh, and one last warning before I go. I told Asclepius this too, but...

...the reason you summoned me last is because you felt a regular old human would be a good match for a god, right?

Even if you only realized it subconsciously, that doesn't make it any less true.

Hell, maybe that's why that last arrow got through to you.

If you don't realize what that means...someone even more desperately cornered than me's gonna end up firing a third arrow.

I wonder who that'll end up being? Hehe, hehehe...

God...has cast his gaze downward.

You have become...unnecessary... Furthermore...

God has...also seen...

...

These defects are unnecessary...and therefore...evil.

Begone, evil... You are not needed in the new yuga...the new world.

I will now...wield the sword...of the god who ends all things.

I will cut off the world. From the rift in the world...made by the blade...clear purification will burst forth.

Terminus and Genesis...will cycle anew...

Sword of dissolution, let your blade fall. Mahāpralaya...

I don't know about defective...

...but I can tell that I'm not really me if I can't remember my son...