Return of Paradise/The Queen's Identity

The Zero Sail has entered a stable zone. We should finally be safe here, at least for a while.

Once again, we escape by the skin of our teeth... I was hoping to never have to cut it that close again.

？！

You are as tasteless as a tiger shark. Do you always bring your enemies with you like this?

Oh, if it isn't the strange Servant I saw in the Wandering Sea. I didn't know you were here, too.

As you can see, I'm currently nothing more than a fellow fugitive.

As they say, no road is long with good company, and love makes the world go round. What a perfect example of strange bedfellows! Or shipmates, if you will.

Of course, this is strictly a temporary business arrangement, but I do hope we can get along for its duration.

Likewise. Oh, and not so much as a finger on the instruments, please.

If you so much as breathe on them, Mr. Detective there is going to open up a can of baritsu on your ass.

Now, now, I'll thank you not to refer to we detectives as you would a knife. Never mind that my deductions are so sharp one could cut oneself on them.

Even I would need a hot shower if I were to get the blood of so toxic a vixen on me.

Oh my, the office banter is so pointed here☆ You're not picking a fight with me, are you?

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(What I wanna know is, why's no one pointing out how Koyanskaya's outfit just magically fixed itself!?)

(She even looks good in a traditional Indian outfit, complete with sari... Is she an angeler, a demon after all...?)

All right, enough small talk. We have a great deal of questions, and precious little time.

Let's begin with your present circumstances.

Why did you seek refuge aboard the Border? Aren't you with the Lostbelts...or rather, the Foreign God?

Hmm, well, you know how bands sometimes split up because of creative differences? It's a lot like that. I think Peperoncino there can attest to it.

I never liked this one much to begin with, and was planning to wash my hands of him once he'd served his purpose, but he ended up beating me to the punch.

He filled Arjuna's ears with all sorts of nonsense about me, and now I'm officially persona non grata in this India.

That said, I never had much of an opinion about this Lostbelt to begin with, so I'm not too broken up that I've been exiled from it now...

But for the time being, I think I'll stick around a while longer. Let's just say I have my reasons.

Aha... I thought as much.

Thought as much about what, Peperoncino the Traitor?

Oooh, a swing and a miss! I haven't betrayed anyone, but thanks for playing!

My goal as a Crypter is to grow my Tree of Emptiness, and I certainly haven't abandoned it.

I'm not on bad terms with anyone from Team A, and I have no intention of defying the Foreign God either.

The only ones I don't trust...

...are you Alter Egos. I mean, how could I? You're all the definition of shady.

It's because I have my doubts about you three that I shared the information I have with Fujimaru.

I thought I could gain some insight from a different perspective on this situation. Though I'm sure Holmesie already deduced as much.

Indeed, I was fully aware that you were probing our goals and perspectives.

But of course, I allowed it, as I could tell you were doing so from a place of fairness rather than malice.

Given the current state of the world, it doesn't take much thought to realize this fatal contradiction.

The fact that Ms. Koyanskaya is here right now only further serves to reinforce it.

While I do feel as though I already have a firm grasp on the answer, I also feel as though it would be improper for me to be the one to explain it.

So, as one of those directly involved...

...I would like to ask you about this great mystery we can no longer ignore, Scandinavia Peperoncino.

Aww, that's sweet. How can you be so kind and handsome, and yet also so unpopular? Is it because you're inhuman at heart?

All right then, don't mind if I do. Koyanskaya, you can confirm this for me, right?

The goals of the Crypters and the Foreign God's Disciples don't completely line up, do they?

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What...do you mean?

Let me be clear: this world is headed towards oblivion. The way it's being run now, it can't possibly end up at anything halfway decent.

Once it's completely purged of "evil," we're not gonna have the perfect world he's aiming for. We'll be left with a world of total nothingness.

It's fair to say that Arjuna has gone completely off the rails.

But the bigger problem...is that you Disciples aren't doing anything to stop him.

If anything, that treacherous snake of a man is pushing him to hurry things along. Why?

The way things are going now, both this Lostbelt and its Tree of Emptiness will be lost forever. So why aren't you two trying to stop that?

Furthermore, given the state we found you in, it seems there is also every possibility that even you Disciples don't share a common goal.

Tell us: What exactly are you?

Hmm, good question. I suppose if it will pay my fare, I'll answer you as far as I'm able to.

I do indeed have my own adorable goals I'm working towards. Adorable goals that neither the Crypters nor that shitty monk share.

I sincerely doubt there's anything adorable about them. What are they?

Well, there's tormenting humans... Oh, and collecting regional monsters, I suppose? It's a hobby of mine, investigating new and unusual creatures.

This Lostbelt has both kali and sacred beasts, so I'm already pretty happy about that.

...

What can you tell us about the other Alter Ego?

I'm afraid that's one I can't answer. It would violate the nondisclosure agreement in the contract I signed with the Foreign God.

The most I can say is that he and I most certainly do not get along, as you can tell from my presence here.

The three Alter Egos may have different approaches due to different personalities, but share one common goal.

All three Alter Egos want to grow the Trees of Emptiness to completion.

I see... Is that true for Father KotomineI mean, Rasputin, too?

Of course. But you know what happened in the Russian Lostbelt, what with its king and Kadoc being who they are.

Well, despite what you might think, that priest is a genuine saint, complete with the ability to know the future... I guess you'd say he can make prophecies?

And apparently, he prophesized that the Russian Lostbelt was only ever going to end poorly, and acted accordingly.

...All right, that's enough from me. I believe I've more than paid for my fare by now.

Oh no you haven't. Not by a long shot. It costs a lot more than that to ride my ship.

Leaving the question of whether it's your ship or not aside, I do agree that she has only begun to pay her fare.

Oh, come now☆ Do you have any idea how much Rasputin's secrets would normally cost? That priest never says a word about himself, you know☆

It wasn't easy to part with them, but since doing so would be his problem more than mine, I figured I could share them with you as a little bonus of sorts!

So she's willing to sell out her teammates' skills, but not her own secrets, huh.

Talk about a dyed-in-the-wool misanthrope. It's like everything she does is designed to piss others off...

(I have a feeling we're not going to get anything from her that she isn't willing to give us...)

(For now, I guess I should just be glad that I was able to confirm my hypothesis.)

(I wonder just how much Kirschtaria knows about the Foreign God's identity and objectives?)

At any rate, I no longer have any interest in what happens to this world. I am, as they say, over it.

So by all means, go ahead and mess with it as much as you like. I'd be especially happy if you could give that shitty monk some much-needed comeuppance.

Do you really think we're done here?

We saved you when you were at death's door, and I doubt you're anywhere close to your old strength yet.

To put it another way, you have nowhere to run, and your life is in our hands now.

Oh my, does this mean your gentlemanly facade is crumbling? Now that I'm your prisoner, I wonder what you're going to do to me?

Are you going to bind my limbs and throw me in solitary? Chop me into tiny pieces, like what happened in China?

What? No, no, I'm just referring to your promise to temporarily cooperate with us.

Though that's not to say we won't take precautions.

I trust there won't be an issue letting her out of here along with Fujimaru?

I highly doubt it. Not with Rama, Ganesha, and Lakshmi all keeping an eye on her.

Once we have our safety measures in place, I believe our most prudent course of action would be to act on this new information.

And of course, when the situation calls for it, we would like you to assist us in battle.

At the moment, I believe that covers the manner of assistance we expect from you.

Hmm. Well, I can't promise to be of too much help in combat, but I can certainly fight well enough to protect my own life.

And if you're treating me as a guest rather than a prisoner, I'll agree the information I shared doesn't cover my fare.

So rest assured, I'll be glad to work off the rest. I certainly don't want to be in debt to humans, after all.

Well, if nothing else, at least we made it through another cataclysm unscathed.

I think we've all earned a little break today, so why don't we kick back and relax while we wait for the outside world to stabilize?

If all goes well, maybe we'll even be able to settle everything during the next yuga cycle...

...Oh.

So you're the one I heard on the transmission.

...I go by Captain right now, though that name has no particular meaning.

Not that I have any other more meaningful name to go by right now anyway.

Good to meet you, Captain. I'm

You don't have to tell me. I know who you are.

Do you mean we've met somewhere before?

...Of course not. What makes you think that?

Hmm. I guess it would be your scent.

...My scent, huh. Well, I guess I can understand that more than I could if you'd said my appearance.

Anyway, I'm afraid I have a lot of work I need to get back to. You should rest now, while you can.

(I wonder why he's avoiding me? I don't remember wronging him.)

(Although, that look in his eyes... Was it nervousness? Fear? No, wait.)

(I think it was...guilt?)

Phew! I don't think I've ever been so happy to see the sky.

There really is something about seeing it for the first time in a while that appeals even to a die-hard shut-in like me.

Well sure. All the more so when you've been inside as long as I have.

How would I get food, or go to the bathroom? Of course I go out when I gotta.

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I always enjoyed the early mornings when I'd have to run down to the convenience store to replenish my snack supplies after fighting a massive raid boss for three days straight.

The way you could still see the stars as the first rays of sun started to creep over the horizon was just divine...

Whoa! Maybe it was those spiritual morning walks that made Ganesha choose me for his vessel!

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Fou...

My apologies for the seemingly endless string of similar instructions...

...but I would like you all to start by returning to Bichu, as usual.

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Ahh, what a perfectly peaceful little human town. It makes me positively nauseous☆

So, what's the plan here? You do have a plan to take down that spoiled brat turned god, don't you?

We're going to tear him off his divine throne and bring him down to our level, starting with this town.

Now that these people have fought their way through a Kali Yuga, there should be even more of them on our side.

Once we've convinced this town he isn't a god worth worshipping, we'll move on to other towns until he's weakened enough that we can defeat him.

A god boycott campaign, hm? Okay, I can see the sense in that.

(At least, theoretically...)

Even though we're in the peaceful Kṛta Yuga now, something feels...off.

I feel it too... Does this town seem weirdly quiet to you too?

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Fou, fou.

Hey guys? I'm kinda worried about Asha.

Remember she said her dad was injured? Maybe we should go check on her first?

Of course. I was just thinking the same thing. I think her house was over in that direction. Let's go see her.

There's her house! Thank goodness it's intact... Why don't we take a peek inside through the window first, to see how they're doing?

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Hehe, I'm so glad we all made it to the Kṛta Yuga to celebrate your four thousandth day of life, Asha!

Me too. A lot's happened over the different yugas... More than I can even remember.

I was worried how things were going to go when we first took you in...

...but you've grown up to be a wonderful little girl.

Though you know, it's strange. I know we've been here since way back...

...but this house still doesn't feel like our home... Maybe it's just too big for us?

I was just thinking the same thing. Maybe it's time we thought about moving. I think there's another house we could live in not too far from here.

But we don't need to think about that now. Today's your special day, and we're going to celebrate! Go ahead and eat anything you want, okay?

Okay...

Aww, what's wrong, Asha? You don't look very excited.

...Auntie?

Doesn't it feel like we're missing someone important?

...!!!

Huh? What do you mean?

Aah! Oh for... Now look what you made me do.

I-I'm sorry... Are you okay?

Haha, you dropped a dish over a little question? You're such an ulloo.

Ah... There it is again. It feels like...someone else should've said that.

It feels...strange that nobody's saying it.

Yeah... It really feels like...there ought to be someone else here with us...

What an odd little girl you are. Who would that possibly be?

You know it's always been just the three of us.

Y-yeah, I know. But, I can't help but feel like...I made a promise with someone...

Someone who said they'd celebrate with me...and patted my head, telling me how much I'd grown...

Huh...? Am I...crying? Well that's a funny surprise... This is supposed to be a happy day...

Ghh...!

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I-I'm okay... I'm okay.

But Senpai, this is just... Just...!

Let's get out of here.

...Right now, I don't think even I could look Asha in the eye and smile.

She said his leg was injured. Is that why? A little thing like that...?

That's just like what happened to Vihan. This is horrible. I don't even have the words for how horrendously wrong this all is!

...Oh no!

Does this mean...!?

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They're not here!

Hey!

Oh, hello. Is everything all right? Would you like to come to my house and have a glass of grape juice?

Forget about juice! What happened to all the people in the town hall!?

Hm? What do you mean?

You know damn well what I mean. I'm talking about the people who came here from Dival.

There were dozens of people living here while they tried to find new homes!

I'm very sorry, but I truly have no idea what you're talking about.

Nobody has ever lived in the town hall.

Dammit...

You poor thing... I don't know what you're talking about, but I can tell you've been through a lot.

Well, if there's anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to call on me. Good luck...

Dammit... Dammit!!!

Just refusing to obey is a sin now, you false god? A crime so great you throw them away like they're worthless!?

It seems we were too lax in our assumptions.

Given how removed Arjuna is from this world...

...I assumed he would never bother to personally determine the so-called defectiveness of individual persons' actions.

Especially since we knew Dival continued to exist across yugas even after they began fighting back.

That sounds right to me, if we're just talking about Arjuna himself.

I'm sure he would consider changes in the little peoples' faith as trivial matters beneath his notice.

But he has a certain advisor at his earone who loves nothing more than snitching.

And I can't see that slimy, devious monk not taking the chance to rat these people out.

Yes, I recall you mentioned him on the Border as well. It sounds as though you and he are on extremely poor terms.

Oh yes. He's a wonderfully shitty monk☆

As for who he is, well, you'll find that out when you meet him yourselves.

So it's his fault these people disappeared.

No... It might... It might be mine.

Lakshmi?

It might be because I helped them. Because I lit a fire under them. Because I drew the false god's attention to them.

Maybe I'm the reason they were eliminated.

They might have been erased as though they never existed because they got caught in my cloud of bad luck!

Lakshmi...

...No. That is not my name.

I've been lying to you this whole time. Everything that's gone wrong is my fault. I knew I should have stuck to fighting on my own!

Wh-what are you talking about? You're not making any sense!

...

The god that resides within me is not Lakshmi.

Wh-what was that!?

Me, the goddess of happiness and prosperity? Haha, what a joke. I'm the exact opposite.

I bring adversity and tragedy wherever I go. I'm the embodiment of things everyone should avoid and despise.

The real name of the goddess within me is AlakshmiLakshmi's older sister, the goddess of bad luck and misfortune.

...It's true. Those two sister gods are more alike than shrimp and prawns.

Alakshmi... That's the goddess of misfortune, Lakshmi's direct opposite. You're saying that's who you really are?

She is still a source of power lacking in consciousness, as I told you before...but yes, that is who I really am.

So that's why I was never quite able to sense my beloved Sita's Lakshmi inside you...

Part of it is because she's only a source of power now, and part of it is because they are sisters.

No wonder I never got more than a vague impression of the Divinity inside you.

Why didn't you tell us this sooner?

Alakshmi's request was simple: she conveyed to me that she wanted to help her sister trapped within the false god.

Okay...so what's the problem? That's one of our goals, too.

But who would ever want to join forces with the embodiment of bad luck and misfortune?

I...I've been using you for my own ends all this time.

I thought you would refuse to help me if I was honest about my identity...

...and that would make it harder to achieve my goal of defeating the false god and rescuing Lakshmi.

Some leader I am. I'm just a foolish woman steeped in lies and deception!

Now those people were erased without a trace, and all of your hopes are dashed, too. And it's all my fault!

？！

Fou fou!

I understand that you're really Alakshmi. But you're still wrong about the rest.

Senpai and Pepe are right. You didn't erase Ajai, or the people of Dival... Arjuna did.

You can't blame yourself for this.

Indeed. Are you going to insist that every last bit of bad luck we've had was actually your fault?

Because even for a goddess of misfortune, that would be going a bridge too far, Lakshmi!

Wha...

We're fighting for the fate of this entire world. Your luck can't possibly affect that, no matter how bad it may be.

It is our skill and responsibility alone that will determine the outcome of our fight, just as it always has before!

So the only laments I'll allow from you are your clumsiness and the way you constantly stub your toe and squirm in agony!

If you thought we hadn't noticed, you were gravely mistaken!

Fou. Fo fo fooou.

...

Sooo, if you're finally done playing guessing games where the answers were obvious...

...it's about time we started planning our next course of action, no?

...Agreed. Truth be told, I had already formulated a hypothesis as to whom Lakshmi's true Divinity might be.

Lest we forget, the power she demonstrated during our first battle with William Tell was clearly nothing that a goddess of fortune would possess.

Oh yes, that reminds me. I don't sense Vāyu anywhere, so it seems Mr. Tell never did make it to this yuga, did he?

Though I can't say I'm surprised, given the resistance he put up at the end.

I'm considering that a highly probable possibility as well.

Given how bravely he fought last we saw him, I'm not sure if I should regret that we were unable to have him join us...

...or be glad that at least a bit more of Arjuna's power is now gone.

Okay, in light of all that's happened, we need to figure out a new plan, starting with where our old one went wrong.

It's obvious now that we were severely underestimating the extent of Arjuna's ability to erase things he considers defective whenever he remakes the world.

Hard as it might be to believe, we know now he can get rid of entire communities if he wants to.

Maybe he came up with some way to simplify it, like assuming anyone who takes up arms against the kali is defective.

But either way, now that we know he's capable of mass removals like this...

...we should probably assume that the more people stand out, the more likely they are to be erased.

So, what you're saying is...

...our plan to turn more people against him and drag him from his godly throne isn't looking too good anymore...

...

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No... Absolutely not, Master!

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Fooou!

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I couldn't agree more, Master! We may be back to square one again, but so what!

As for you, queen who has slightly worse luck than most people...

...I have no desire for you to wander about in sackcloth and ashes being so terribly morose.

Who is going to benefit from your doing such a thing? It is an utterly pointless endeavor.

...

Now that we know our old plan won't work, we need your help more than ever in coming up with the next one.

Will you help us? Will you continue to fight beside us, just as you have till now?

I second everything Rama said.

？！

...Heh. You truly are an odd one, aren't you?

All right, now that we've reaffirmed our intent to continue onwards, I would like to begin discussing specifics.

Does anyone have any information that would give us a good place to start?

I'll get right to the point: I can think of one thing.

Oh? What's that?

Aśvatthāman. There's something wrong with him.

Yes, I think we all saw that for ourselves, Ramie darling. Care to be a little more detailed?

Hmm... I'm afraid it's difficult to explain. All I can say is, when we ran into him during the last yuga...

...it felt like there was something fundamentally different about him compared to the other Lōkapāla...

Heh heh heh. At least one of you has an eye for detail.

Disposing of Aśvatthāman is something I totally endorse, especially as I have my own grievances with him.

I would like nothing more than for all of you to beat him within an inch of his life♡

But we still don't know how to deal with his regenerative powers. Fighting him was like fighting an immortal...

Hehehe. Exactly. He's immortal.

That's why he has no choice but to do what Arjuna says.

...What do you mean by that?

Oopsie! Now I've gone and said too much. Let me just go ahead and zip these lips back up.

Anyway, I do think it's worth a shot. If you like, I could even tell you where he is right now.

Hold it! I appreciate that proposal, but I don't trust it! Koyanskaya can only be trusted to lead us into a trap!

What? And here I made that proposal with the very purest of intentions...

I guess this means you still haven't forgiven me after all, Your Excellency... (Sniff, sniff...)

Why in the world would I forgive you when you haven't shown the slightest sign of repentance!? Did that sari do something to your brain, Beautiful!?

Juuust kidding☆

All right then, I'll go ahead and give you the data you'll need to track Aśvatthāman down.

Just to be sure of the results, why not conduct the search yourselves?

Hmm. True, that would be safer. Though it will mean we'll need to walk around ourselves to pick up his signal.

That's just the trade-off we'll have to make for security.

Even if it takes a little longer, it's a lot better than walking into a trap completely defenseless.

All right, now that our next goal is decided, let's go find Aśvatthāman and take him out quickly.

...Don't worry. Once we find him, just let me handle everything.

I think I know what's going on with him now, so the next time we meet, I'll see if I'm right...