ONiON

A mic exclusive for the M.C. of Headonion.

It is said to be a gift from a famous stand-up comedian, and it can amplify voices precisely and prefectly. The funny mic flag and her serious attitude make a good contrast.

Statistics show that audiences in front of the TV tend to believe reports given by "well-dressed" gentlemen instead of ladies. Therefore, this is necessary business attire worn to improve the reliability of her report.

Headgear wrapped in layers of newspaper; the outermost layer is always yesterday's newspaper. This is a world where lies and truth have no clear boundary. Through this simple, neutral, always-updating headgear, ONiON gets to reach the impartial ground between voices and gets closer to the essence of news.

This is an era caught in the vortex of scepticism, resulting from the clash between sci-fi movies inspired by spacewalks and young, rebellious souls provoked by the hippie movement.

Conspiracy theories are spread widely, and the world is full of rumors and scandals. People will doubt anything they learn but also believe everything they are told.

Vulgar and poor quality news? That's fine, as long as it draws attention.

Monotonous and shallow reports? That's fine, as long as they're titillating.

At this time, lies and truths are indistinguishable. Every journalist and documentary photographer hopes to become the teller of the most arresting story.

But the world also has us.

We guard the highground of journalism ethics and reveal the truth!

— Headonion

"Next, our journalist ONiON will be covering the UFO Cow Kidnapping event."

"ONiON is now on the way to the scene to interview Farmer Jerry, the person involved in the close encounter ..."

"C'mon Tom, Headonion is on!"

"Coming! Move your ass! Make some space."

The television was the only light source in the dark room. Two boys were focusing on the screen, eyes reflecting its light.

"... At the exact moment when the cow was about to be taken up in the UFO's beam, the farmer threw a bottle of pepper at the spacecraft. The UFO retrieved both the cow and the pepper, and soon enough the pepper was spit out, followed by the cow! That was how this old farmer of nearly seventy years protected his property from an alien invader."

"Hey, you two little brats! Are you done cleaning the stable?" A man came over and asked, hands patting the TV.

"Ugh, just five more minutes! Please!" The boys gave him the best puppy dog eyes they could make.

"Enough with these absurd stories, boys." The TV in front of them turned off. "I don't want to explain to your angry mother if one day you boys go to the Capitol looking for aliens."

He walked out of the house, called the boys to his side and took them across the lawn.

The boys were chasing each other like two flies around the man, until they suddenly bumped into their father's bottom.

"Dad?" The boys raised their heads.

A giant round aircraft which looked like a toilet seat stopped them at the entrance to the stable, making weird electronic sounds.

"... What did that ONiON just say?" Asked the man.

Pandora Wilson: Welcome to UTTU, my journalist peer. I heard that many members of your audience take your news as recreation for their spare time. What's your opinion about this?

ONiON: Not a bad thing.

Pandora Wilson: Seems to me that they don't take you seriously. Aren't you offended?

ONiON: Sometimes truths are remembered as jokes. They will last longer this way.

Pandora Wilson: No offense, but most of your reports don't have any solid supporting evidence, and in most cases you were the only witness who can prove those incidents really happened.

ONiON: That's exactly why I keep reporting. Truth is like the ocean; its existence is a plain fact and will not change, no matter if it is known by many or few.

Pandora Wilson: From one journalist to another, I really admire your neutral attitude towards work.

ONiON: Oh wait ... I just received a message from Loch Ness Park!

ONiON: This is urgent ... I gotta head to the scene now. Thank you for coming to Headonion, it was great to have you!

Pandora Wilson: Wait ...