Blue Archive story · Volume 2: Game Development Department, Chapter 1, Episode 5
Vol. 2 Ch. 1 Ep. 5: I, Aris...
1 scenes, 164 lines
1. Millennium Game Development Department
164 lines
Okay? Verifying meaning. A condition lacking in negative attributes or problems. Confirmed.
There's no way this will work! She'll blow her cover the second she opens her mouth!
It's hopeless. We can't pull something like this off!
We have to. I'll do whatever it takes if it means saving the Game Development Department.
Yuzu can't move back to the dorms. If we don't do this...she'll have nowhere to go.
I think she passes the eye test. All she needs now is a weapon and student ID.
I'll take care of getting her registered and having an ID made.
Midori, I want you teach Aris how to hold a conversation with Yuzu.
A conversation?
Like you said, she's not gonna sound like a normal student.
People have been saying for ages that our club can't recruit new members because we have no friends.
So if Yuuka asks Aris whether she really belongs to the Game Development Department and Aris responds with something like...
"Affirmative. Aris is property registered to the Game Development Department. Beep boop."
...That's going to raise a few eyebrows.
Good! I'm counting on you!
...?
Uh, so... Aris?
Affirmative. Aris is the designated name of this unit.
Hmm... I don't even remember how I learned to make conversation. I suppose I just picked it up from watching TV or hearing other people talk.
Hmm. Maybe I can find an educational program for kids online.
Huh?
Y-You mean that?!
Oh. That. It's a little embarrassing, but we actually made the game featured on the cover. It got a lot of really bad reviews.
Oh, right!
I'm not proud of the fact it won Worst Game of the Year...
...but why don't you give it a try, Aris?
There are all kinds of conversations in the game, so it might be a good opportunity to learn.
As the title suggests, our game is a classic fantasy RPG with a rich, fairy tale atmosphere.
Cosmic Calendar Year 2354. Mankind is engulfed in the flames of retribution.
...?
Well...it does take inspiration from some other genres too. Sticking with the same tired tropes can get boring after a while.
Beginning tutorial.
Press the B button to equip the weapon in front of you.
Press...B button...
*boom*
...?
GAME OVER
...?!
Ahahaha!
Where's the fun in knowing what will happen?! The trick is you should have pressed the A button there!
What are you doing here Momoi? I thought you were going to get the student ID.
Oh, there was no one there. I guess I got there too late. I'll try again tomorrow.
Anyway, on second thought, I think the way we designed this scenario is a little unfair.
Ooh! I know what you're feeling! It must be "interest" or "anticipation"!
I'm going to guess it's "rage".
Weapon equipped successfully.
Picked up...sword...
You're picking this up quicker than I expected! Once you're past the tutorial, it won't be long until you get to the best part of any RPG...
COMBAT START!
...?!
A wild Puny Jelly appeared!
Tension. Excitement. Interest.
Mash the A button! Trust me!
A button... Secret Sword Tsubame Gaeshi attacks twice.
Taking down Puny Jelly.
Secret Sword! Tsubame...!
Pow!
Counterattack. You died.
GAME OVER
...?!
Puny Jelly: You should know better than to bring a sword to a gun fight. Hmph!
You think the "Hmph!" at the end might have been a little too much?
I don't think that's the biggest issue here.
Operational error. Processing.
A-Are you okay, Aris?
...
Resuming functionality. Initiating.
Notice: caution required while in range of the Puny Jelly. Navigate and exterminate.
You're getting it! It's all about learning a little bit at a time until you know how to handle anything and everything. That's the allure of retro games!
(Two hours later...)
A critical computational processing and comprehension error has occurred.
I-It's okay, Aris! Right after this phase is the climax!
Ugh. We really messed up on this part...
It's supposed to say that he prefers meat, but we couldn't find the right words...
When he says, "Sorry I can't help you ladies with those veggies, I'm more of a sausage lover myself," Aris' circuits almost got fried!
Query. Why is my mother a love interest and why was she my wife in a previous life?
Additional query. Why did my wife's missing childhood half-friend come through a time warp? Dictionary lookup of "half-friend" returned negative. Definition not found in Kivotos.
E-Error!
A-Aris! Are you all right? You're almost to the climax!
(Two hours later...)
"Please...kill...me..."
That was incredible, Aris! Sure, you had two devs with you, but you got the true ending in only three hours! What a speedrun!
By the way, Momoi...
Have you noticed that the more Aris plays...
...the weirder the way she talks has become?
If you dost inquire of my opinion, dear hero, yours truly heartily agrees.
Yeah, I get what you mean...
It's definitely awkward, but it sure beats her just listing words out!
U-Um, so...
I have a kind of embarrassing question for you, Aris.
How was our game? Did you have fun?!
B-But why...?
P-Please don't be a curse word.
*gasp!*
The more I played...
...the more it felt like I was being transported to a new world.
It was like...a dream.
I...need more...
...
*sob*
Wh-What the...?!
A-Aris, why are you crying?
Whaddya mean why? She's been touched by our game!
But our game is just a comedy RPG...
Thank you, Aris! Your tears cancel out a thousand bad reviews! I wish Yuzu could be here to see this!
...I'm here.
*creak*
Huh? Did that cabinet door open just now?
Eeek! A gh-ghost!
Midori, stop! Don't throw the FlyStation again!
...
...?
Yuzu!
We couldn't find you anywhere! How long have you been hiding in the cabinet?
...Since you guys got back from the ruins.
That was hours ago! Oh, were you scared of Aris or something?
You should have said something. Aris and I could have stepped out if you needed us to.
Anyway, I think an introduction is in order. Aris, meet Yuzu, the president of the Game Development Department.
*scooches closer*
Hm?
Th...?
Thank you.
Thank you for saying...the game was fun...and that you wanted to play more of it.
And thank you for crying... It really means a lot.
...?
I've always wanted...to hear those things said about our game...
Yuzu...