IC-2 Freefall

There's this one proverb Blaze always pulls out. How did it go again––?

The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

That's the one.

I have a conjecture. You rainforest folk have the terrible misfortune of living in that dump, so you've been compensated with extremely good luck in other areas.

What other explanation is there for why the lot of you haven't gone extinct yet? It doesn't make any sense.

It proves our way of life is good for keeping us alive.

High Priest, what are Durin cities like?

Uhh, I don't remember. A little too boring to talk about.

I spent some time in the underground world a century or so ago and the only thing I can remember is that it was a nasty place chock-full of imbeciles.

Less interesting than watching Originium slugs sleep by the river.

Though, heh, you young kids ought to experience things on your own. You need to have the kind of drive and ambition that I did!

By the way, turn left at the next junction, and DON'T jump down!

How much longer now, High Priest?

Good question. There's no end to the road called life. No matter how far you've come, you can only keep moving forward— plus, there's a geezer like me watching over you.

Oh, if you meant how far we are from the city, if you could drop right through the rocks like I can, you need to go down another five or six hundred meters.

Zumama, how the hell did you put up with this guy up so long? He won't shut up.

He's usually not as noisy around the machines.

Does this chainsaw blade count as a machine?

Harrumph! No manners!

Would you look at that. Worked like a charm.

This is it... We're here!

Uhh, the 'Great Aquapit?'

Let's set aside the Durins' naming sense for now.

This waterpark already looked pretty insane from the distance, but it's even more incredible up-close!

Is this how Durins live all the time?!

Cowabunga!!

When did he change into a swimsuit?

E-Elysium, please be careful!

Woah, that was a close one! Are you alright? Didn't spill your drink, did you?

Well... that's weird. How'd you surface-dwellers end up down here? Never seen you people around before.

And this guy looks about as stupid as a Durin.

Hello, sir. We were invited here by Stitch Canvas.

He said, uh, he wanted us to help him with a little favor!

Stitch Canvas, huh... Would you look at that, he actually came back.

I thought he was going to say goodbye to this city for good, just like that respectable teacher of his.

As much as I'd like to offer you our famous Durin hospitality, welcoming folk that we are, I sadly can't while Stitch is running around causing havoc and ignoring all our ways.

Let me introduce myself first. I am Catch Lightrace, this city's design representative.

No need to be nervous. It'll be over in no time.

What... is the meaning of this?

Hmm? Did the atmosphere just get a little weird all of a sudden? I can't handle all these people trying to toast me at the same time.

Are you guys...?

Trying to pick a fight?! I'm not afraid of you shorties!

You're gonna get a taste of the combat skills Gavial taught me! Phew... Take a sturdy stance, and put your hips into it!

Come at me!

Wh-What is she doing?! Is she gonna clobber us with her stick?

Gyaaaah! Stay away from me!

Hey, hey! What are you people doing?! Stop! Stop, I tell you!!

Huh? I thought we were going to fight?

Why would Durins do such a pointless thing?!

Put your weapons away and come with me!

Ahem! Citizens of Zeruertza, this is this quarter's four hundred and seventeenth referendum.

Following our previous vote on this month's general background music, we decided on the color of our street lights for the week during the last referendum. Now, we must answer a new question.

Since this question isn't particularly important, the individuals here today are enough of a quorum to represent Zeruertza.

Today's question is: Zeruertza has just welcomed new guests. Should we accept them or not?

......

What guests?

I heard something about a guy who doesn't drink?

Ah, no, it's these ones standing right in front of us.

Cheers, brother! Isn't it crazy that there's a Durin out there who doesn't drink?

Yeah, that's totally crazy. Cheers!

Let's finish chugging this barrel, then we can go play in the water.

Hah, make sure to keep those eyelids peeled! You have to see what us surface-dwellers can do!

Tomimi, sorry if I sound like a broken record, but are you sure everything's alright at Rhodes Island?

Uh, p-probably?

You're always welcome to come back if things aren't working out. Be careful— don't underestimate the amount of damage a bad environment can do to you!

Hurry it up, Catch! We've got a lot of stuff to take care of!

Brother, have you ever heard of a sport called surfing?

Surfing, you say? That might as well be my middle name!

Objection!

This guy can't be trusted!

Ah, yeah. I knew things weren't going to be that simple...

Hey you, drunk Liberi over there!

Inam, they must be talking to you, because I certainly amn't drunk. Not a bit.

I AM talking to you, guy with the stein!

Alright. Whaddya want?

You'd better come out and pick a side: noble mead, or lame-ass whiskey!

We of the Old Karl Mead fan club graciously welcomed you into our fold, and now you're hanging out with those hoity-toity whiskey-sippers? My disappointment is immeasurable!

Not too long ago, we had our arms over each other's shoulders, shouting 'Long Live Mead' together. But I turn around for a second and you go off to play with those uppity kids?

Err, um, I think they're both great...

Oh no you don't! We don't take kindly to fence-sitters around here!

Haha, you're a joke. You can't know what's good and what's bad without a point of reference. Isn't that right, brother?

There's nothing to be afraid of. Speak your mind, and let the words of praise flow for our great whiskey. That is, if you want to stay in Zeruertza––

Hey, stop threatening him, you despicable whiskey-sipper!

Gah. Your mead's baby stuff! Might as well drink it out of a bottle!

Let's throw down in front of the Big Cask tonight then! Walk the walk if you talk the talk!

Hah, you wanna see who can chug more of your baby brew? You have my attention!

Wait, stop right there! The referenda we hold here in the forum are sacred! Talk about drinking somewhere else––

Raise your hand, and let your vote be known. The minority obeys the will of the majority— that is the eternal lodestar of Zeruertza.

Begin the counting of the votes!

If you're raising your hand, then I'm not!

I'm raising my hand whether you like it or not! Piss off!

Just wait 'til we get to the water slide. I'm gonna splash your brains out!

With what, that ridiculous 'technique' of yours?

Alright, not bad. A solemnly conducted vote.

In what world does this count as solemn?

The votes have been counted, and the results are clear.

The people of Zeruertza have made their decision: play to your hearts' content, surface-dwellers.

Cheers!!

By the way, I welcome you as an architect. That gorgeous edifice sitting atop the lake is my pride and joy. You are welcome to play your hearts out beneath it.

You're talking about that 'Great Aquapit' over there?

I didn't come up with the name. It was something we all voted on!

Did they tack more stuff onto the 'Great Aquapit?' It looks even more hideous than the last time I saw it.

That's Catch's masterpiece, you know? You really shouldn't badmouth it in front of him.

He's not worthy of my constructive criticism anyway. Or rather, there's no way to fix it in the first place!

That malformed, twisted structure... Just looking at it makes me want to pass out! How can the people of Zeruertza continue to suffer him as the design representative?

Probably because folks really love playing on the big slide.

If I were calling the shots...

You'd use béton brute to construct... uh, an array of squares.

You still don't know me well enough, Edge. I'd just put a long, narrow strip of concrete there. Minimalism is beauty.

Huh? What about the slide then?

I suppose there wouldn't be any harm in slanting it a little...

Ahem, back to the issue at hand.

There don't seem to be any major issues with the dome right now, but I'm still worried.

Since the earthquake over six months ago, the leak that sprung in the dome has been getting worse and worse. Is that your idea of no major issues?

I'm just telling you what the people of Zeruertza think. The water flow increased? Makes for a more stimulating experience. The temperature control stopped working? Even better, that just means the summer's not over yet!

As for the Originium detection system... Well, no active Originium layers have been detected near Zeruertza for over two decades!

Hmph. A short-sighted bunch.

So, you...

I'm not fixing it. What's worth saving about this cheap, rickety dome? I've said it a million times.

Were you not looking for a solution when you first went up to the surface? Were you not thinking about ways to restore the dome?

Absolutely not. I was just trying to hide from you because you won't shut up.

Now that's a little harsh, isn't it? Just a few months ago, I was voted into the Top 100 List of Zeruertza's Nicest Elders.

Alright, enough of that. I know you're concerned about the state of the dome.

But if Catch can't even solve the issue with the dome's integrity, then forget occupying the design representative's seat, he should get the hell out of Zeruertza.

If we're just talking outcomes, there shouldn't be any safety concerns regarding the dome at this point.

We can leave the temperature control system alone, since our beloved citizens are having a good time anyway. After they get tired of it, maybe they'll raise their hands and decide to turn Zeruertza into a walk-in freezer.

As for that Originium detection system, if you ask me, it was never that reliable to begin with. But since you've been chasing me around everywhere, I assume that's what you're most worried about? I do have a plan for that actually.

It'd be better for us to rebuild the railway bridge that was damaged by the earthquake, re-excavate the collapsed tunnels, and directly install the Originium detection instruments there for more accurate readings.

From the very beginning, the dome was over-engineered to try to do too many things at once.

You'd rather take a massive detour like that than directly work on the dome? Look, even if Finch up and left without saying anything, that's still your work together, master and pupil...

We're done here, okay?

Stop before I actually get mad, Edge.

...Fine.

Right now, the problem of Originium detection takes top priority.

I picked up a few people up on the surface who will probably come in handy. Their hodgepodge of skills is likely enough to repair Zeruertza's railway.

Now, we only need to...

Pardon the interruption, but are those handy people from the surface you're talking about...

Is that one flying through the sky right now?

Huh?

Waheyyyyy!

When you, Zumama, and Kemar first joined Rhodes Island, I didn't think much of it. But now that I've seen this guy...

Be honest with me, Tomimi. Is it really that easy to swindle a paycheck out of your company?

Elysium is actually a skilled guide and a communications specialist...

Well, anyway! Maybe this is who he really is!

Here's the sweet fruit wine you wanted~

Thank you!

Uhh, how should I pay? Or rather, how'd you buy all that other stuff before?

I told the nice tailor granny a few stories about Gavial, and she was so happy she gave me these clothes for free!

As for me... The drinks were covered by my good friends from the fan club, and I put the food on Stitch's tab.

I guess you'll probably survive, no matter where you get tossed.

That's one of the qualities of a professional guide!

Ma'am, go ahead and put our drinks on Mr. Stitch's tab as well. He won't mind.

You got it!

Haha, that guy's stingier than you'd think. Here, let me pay for those drinks.

I am quite proud of this amusement park after all. Naturally, I hope you'll have a great time.

Mr. Lightrace, do you and Mr. Canvas know each other well?

Depends what you mean by 'well.'

When we were young, we ran into each other a lot, since we were competing. We've gone head-to-head over several projects, some of which I won, some of which he won.

The only project neither one of us could secure was this dome above our heads.

We both have ideas for how we'd like to improve Zeruertza's iconic dome, and for a few years, we practically met every day––

During the referendum meetings, we both worked hard to prove that our respective ideas for the dome renovation were better.

But in the end, neither of us managed to win over a majority of Zeruertza's population.

After all, the dome is the legacy of Master Finch, the design representative who came before me.

And Stitch, as his student, is also...

Forget it. There are some things I'm not meant to say. You'd be better off asking him yourself.

Catch, my dear bro, why is someone as young as you talking like a withered old man? 'When we were young?' Come on.

Just follow Elysium's lead. Keep your heart pure, and face life with a smile! Instead of lamenting days bygone, come enjoy a drink with us––

Liberi man, your extra-large barrel of ice-cold beat-the-heat ale is here!

Help yourselves, everyone! Our good friend Catch wants us to have a good time, so how could we possibly disappoint his expectations?

So, my good brother, mind if I order some more? The folks from the fan club aren't paying for other drinks, and there's still so much I want to try.

......

Are you sure you're not a Durin on stilts?

Are there any other ads I have to write..?

Oh, right.

'How should I describe the feeling of this long-leaf dew rolling down my throat? How ought I praise it without using words so pedestrian?'

'Tis as if I could swallow a cloud, or pluck a string of spring rain's pearls.'

'Tis as if I could feel the falling of winter's last two snowflakes...'

Uhh, they probably have no idea what falling snowflakes are, so maybe I'll go with a more Durin metaphor.

'Two super-frosty fruit-flavored ice cubes fall into a marvelous explosion of flavor––'

Ugh, that hurts––

The High Priest was right, we really shouldn't have jumped down.

It's been a real long time since I've felt like my bones were gonna fall apart. Probably the last time we fought.

Yeah. Now I think I'm starting to hallucinate. About fruit-flavored ice cubes and rum. Think it might be an aftereffect of our fall?

Huh? Why's there a Lupo sleeping here?

Do you think... this might be our fault?

Probably not... right? Uhh, think I should treat her?

Did you bring your medical kit?

Dr. Kal'tsit once said that a true master of medicine can resolve most problems with her bare hands.

Did she now?

Well, I don't remember her exact words, but that's the gist I took from it. Alright, where to start...?

*gasp*!

Oh, she's awake. I haven't even gotten started yet.

Um... Are you alright?

Ugh, my head's still spinning...

Sorry, I think the two of us might've bumped into you earlier. Need me to inspect you?

What are you doing here?

Come again...?

How did you two find this place?

Mind if we ask for directions? Do you know if there's a magical underground city here, or something like that?

You came from the surface.

Weird thing to say. You didn't?

We heard something terrible was about to happen underground, so...

You've finally come, surface-dwellers.

'Naturally, those who come with chainsaw and axe in hand can only spell calamity for this pure garden.'

...... 'The beast of civilization finally sheds all pretense of hiding its razor-sharp fangs, baring its gigantic maw before us...'

I see, that makes sense. A wild beast with a huge mouth and razor-sharp teeth. Don't worry, I'll handle this.

Huh? No, that was a rhetorical flourish...

As long as the thing's less than ten meters wide, I'm confident I can take it down clean. Perfect timing too, since I've been itching to get a good workout!

Mind showing us the way, Miss Lupo? Is it over here?

Maybe it'll be faster if we keep jumping down.

Stop, surface-dwellers! The blood on you will...

Don't worry. I know how to control my strength so it's not going to splatter all over the place.

Zumama, ready for round two?

Right behind you.

Hold on tight, Miss Lupo.

You can trust Gavial. She's an expert when it comes to fighting.

Uh, actually, there's another way... Hey? Hey!!

Thank you, Tomimi. I'll definitely return the favor once we get back to Rhodes Island.

I-I'm not sure I make a very good lookout, but I'll give it my best shot!

Alright, time for a taste!

Hmm, currant mead has a rather strange bite to it, but...

M-Mr. Elysium!

Wh-What's wrong? Are our friends looking for us? You have to tell them I'm not drinking somebody else's liquor––

It's Mr. Stitch!

*huff*... Took me long enough to find you people.

Speaking of which, what's this guy doing here?

Yo, Stitch.

How many years has it been since we saw each other? How awful of you. I bet you haven't even gone to see my Great Aquapit?

Talk about timing though! Now that you're here, should we head down there together? The surfing area's amazing!

I wouldn't mind releasing the flow valve on the water slide while no one's looking, let you experience a true––

Thanks, but no thanks. I've got business to attend to.

Everyone, with me. If you're done enjoying yourselves here, it's time to get to work.

Stitch, why are you always in such a hurry? We've got all the time in the world, so why don't we––

You might have all the time in the world, but I don't. Unlike Design Representative Catch here, full of vim and vigor, I am an Oripathy sufferer with only a few years left.

Oh, sorry, that's not what I meant!

What I was trying to say is we ought to sit down and talk things through. Maybe resolve some of our old misunderstandings...

Listen, Catch.

If recognition is what you're after, you've already won the hearts of Zeruertza's citizens. My opinion doesn't matter.

If you're trying to cement your legacy, you might as well build a super water cannon or something, maybe even paint it red or pink. I won't stop you.

Just don't waste your breath on me. I'll never be able to compliment your... heh, 'architecture,' in good faith.

Let's go, surface-dwellers. I'll tell you all about my plans...

Wait, Stitch, hear me out first––

Let me offer a word of advice: stay away from me.

We have our own paths to follow.

Why don't we talk about that Super Water Cannon you just mentioned, when you have a minute. You've got me interested.

But, before that... Did any of you just hear something?

The merry band of drunkards must be doing something stupid again.

No, that's not it...

Wait, could it be from the dome...?

There's no way. Have some faith in the quality of my engineering, will you?

L-Look at that!

Doesn't matter to me if there's an evil plot, wild beast, mushroom, natural disaster, or some other nasty thing!

I'll crush it!

Hey, Gavial, something doesn't seem quite right. Look down there.

Hmm?

Hey, don't make me repeat myself! Unhand me this instant!

Oh, sorry about that.

What the hell's all this? A waterfall? And a slide?

Yahoo!

Yo, Gavial, what took you so long?

Welcome to the Durins' Great Aquapit!

Huh...?

Waaah, Gavial, it's all my fault!

Tomimi!

So let me get this straight. There's no giant, horrible monster, and no fire or mushrooms raining from the sky?

Elysium called it a 'rhetorical device'...

I'm gonna go beat the shit out of him.

Well, what Tomimi said wasn't altogether false. The Durins are having a crisis of some sort.

Though it's not immediately obvious, that is what Mr. Stitch said.

There's a reason for what I do.

So, what kind of stunt are you uppity surface folks trying to pull here?!

You just broke into Zeruertza brandishing that huge axe, and now you're claiming to be helping the Durins?

What a joke. The Durin people are perfectly capable of solving their own problems. As if they'd ever ask for help from you high-and-mighty surface-dwellers.

What's more, all that filth and nastiness you carry on you is enough to besmirch our little patch of paradise down here!

Uhh, aren't you a Lupo? Aren't you also from the surface?

I've abandoned everything I was once up above. Now, I am only a citizen of Zeruertza.

Therefore, I believe I speak for all the citizens of Zeruertza when I ask you to begone from this city!

If you want to be stubborn about it, I don't mind kicking you out by other means.

Calm down, Avdotya. I brought them here.

Stitch... I didn't know you were back.

I don't know what you're trying to do, but as someone who used to be 'one of them,' I'd urge you to give it up. Relying on the surface-dwellers will only bring ruin to Zeruertza.

Zeruertzans have never seen real greed, a real scheme.

Avdotya, the people already voted to let them stay...

I have no problem overturning that result with another referendum. It all depends on how the Durins see them.

But if push comes to shove, and you surface folk bare the weapons of violence and bloodshed as you always do, then I will hunt you to the bitter end.

Gah, you're not making any sense. This whole thing's just a misunderstanding.

I heard Acahualla's underground neighbors needed help, so I came to lend a hand. That's all. Helping them is helping us.

Oh yes, you showed up at your neighbor's house with a chainsaw. I'm sure you're just trying to help me fix my table leg. I'm sorry, could you use that huge axe to help me cut some fruit?

Don't try to pull a fast one on me. I've seen a kindly Messenger transform into the image of wickedness in the blink of an eye. The pursuit of profit and the lust for conquest is in the nature of all surface-dwellers.

You might be able to deceive my good-natured Durin friends, but you can't trick me. I'm all too familiar with the venom behind your honeyed words.

Uhh, believe it or not, this axe is, uh, just for self-defense.

But if you think we have to solve this with violence, then I'm more than glad to rumble with you.

......

Hey, you there, with the axe.

You're badass!

Huh? Oh... Thanks?

Avdotya, you're the best!

I've only ever seen you scribbling in your notebooks. I never knew you had this side to you!

What side...?

How far up did you come from? How'd it feel to jump down?

How come nobody's ever thought of that before? Jumping off the top of the waterfall!

Are these two your friends? Look at you, keeping secrets from us. You never told us you had such cool friends!

They might be dangerous. We can't...

Can you ask her to take me up there with her next time?

Avdotya, did you bring anything back from your last trip? Maybe some more of that fruit from last time?

We haven't seen each other for hours. Let's toast to our reunion!

Wait, hold on!

Hey lady, your name is Gavial, right? Can I touch your axe? Is it heavy?

Uhh, it's not too bad?

You got a minute, Gavial? There's a super-secret to having fun in the Great Aquapit! I'm sure you'll give us the biggest, flashiest splash ever!

Here's my address in Zeruertza. If you're not busy, swing by tomorrow for one hell of an ale rager!

Why wait for tomorrow? Let's start today!

I like the sound of that!

Me too! My good sir Catch, bring us another bottle!

What's up with these Durins? Did they get bitten by Elysium or something?

That's a look, Tomimi. Something on your mind?

Gavial will always be Gavial. No matter where she goes, she captures all the hearts and minds.

...*sigh*.

The way I see it, it's just a band of dumbasses attracted to the biggest, loudest dumbass.

Some people just have that kind of magnetism.

So this is 'Gavial the Invincible' that the people of Acahualla keep talking about.

What's she jumping off the waterfall for? Did you plan this?

No... but I suppose trouble comes in threes.

Tomimi, I'm surrounded! Gimme a hand!

Coming!

It's too rowdy here. Let's move somewhere else.

So you're the Durin.

While I was in Acahualla, your name was on everyone's lips, Gavial.

Then tell me, what exactly is this crisis that Zeruertza faces, and how will it affect Acahualla?

That... To be honest, is an extremely complicated question, involving multiple layers including geography, geology, sociology, and more.

Let's start peeling back those layers.

The most difficult part is, we can't discuss this topic without delving a little bit into literature first...

Like Tomimi, I also borrowed a few 'rhetorical' tricks.

In other words, what you told us was an exaggeration?

I wouldn't call it an exaggeration. I just, uh, was looking at things from a more macro-historical level.

As Terra's crust changes over millions of years, there is indeed a high probability that the entire rainforest will sink into the ground...

Can I beat the snot out of this little runt?

By all means.

Wait, wait, hold on! I truly do need your help though, and this matter is critically important to Zeruertza!

Let's look at this from a business standpoint! Surely you've seen it too — Durin technology will definitely come in handy in the rainforest!

The Acahuallans won't have to treasure a few discarded lathes!

Hmm, if you're telling the truth.

I assure you, I'll answer any technical questions the people of Acahualla might have!

(*mutters*) Heh, assuming you can even understand my answers.

What was that?

I-I said, even if you don't understand at first, I'll try to explain things as best as I can.

Let's cut to the chase then. What exactly are you trying to do?

It's very simple. Help me convince the others to repair the railway bridge connecting the city. It was damaged in the last earthquake.

That way, Zeruertza can relocate its Originium detection devices without tossing out this entire damned dome, and I can be free of the old man's constant nagging.

By the way, feel free to blow up a certain oversized slide blocking the railway bridge. That'd be killing two fowlbeasts with one stone. No, three!

Mr. Stitch, why do you have to build an entire railway instead of just repairing the dome? It'd be a shame to blow up the slide!

Everyone voted to leave the hole there and build the Great Aquapit.

Moreover, repairing the dome poses a series of esoteric technical problems which won't make sense to the likes of you!

As such, we have to hold a new referendum to get our plan approved!

I'd rather not. I like the slide myself, and it would be a damned shame to blow it up.

Given how handy you Durins are, why do you need us Acahuallans to help you fix the bridge?

Fine... there's no harm in telling you.

As the designer who proposed the plan to rebuild the railway bridge, I will naturally be put in charge if the proposal passes.

However! Have you seen the blueprint for the railway bridge? I saw it back when I was in school, and it couldn't deviate any more from my ultra-minimalist design philosophy!

That dense wiring! That ugly skeleton frame!

So, I slept through every single one of my railway bridge design classes.

So... you have no idea how to build a railway bridge at all?

Though I hate to admit it, it is my one shortcoming.

That is why I am enlisting the aid of all skilled Acahuallans, subcontracting this important project to you!

So how about it? A flawless solution, wouldn't you say?

Durin society must be incredibly tolerant to allow a little shit like him to live this long...

H-Hey! What do you mean by that?!

Alright, since Zumama is here, she can probably fix up the bridge in no time.

Huh? Where'd she go?

I knew it. It wasn't just my imagination.

...WARNING.

Get over here, little fella!

Bogey. Danger! Initiating evasive maneuvers!

Hey, stay put!