As Time Itself

LOG: RI-FLDOP-41a0d7fc

Link Unit: VI03

Executor: Folinic

_MIGRATED

...

LOG: RI-FLDOP-41a0d810

Link Unit: UR06

Executors: Dur-nar, Rosa, Zima, Istina, Gummy, Leto

_MIGRATED

...

LOG: ZOOT-SYS-INIT

_INITIATE SYSTEM_RESTORE_SEQUENCE

_ESTABLISHING CROSS-VERIFICATION LINK WITH NODE [DWDB-221E] (AUTHORIZATION CODE: CE)

_REFERENCING [MULTICORE-TACTICS|INDEX-SCHEMA|BIO-ID|SYS-GHOSTS]

VERIFYING COMPATIBILITY...

...

LOG: ZOOT-HRREC-UPDATE

ENTRY: ENCRYPTED

STATUS CHANGED: ACTIVE → ARCHIVED

_RECORD UPDATE COMMITTED

_EDIT NOTE

_...

_...

_CANCEL

_RECORD UPDATE COMMITTED

...

Amiya comes to her senses. There is a knock at the door, by a gentle hand...

Pushing the door open, Amiya steps into the wind.

Summer has only just arrived. An azure sky hangs low, blanketed by thick piles of white clouds.

She steps into an early summer meadow, bent grass blades scratching her feet as dew slides down the creases of stems and leaves, spreading the scent of grass into the air.

The child looks in the direction Amiya is pointing. At the end of the plains sits a colossal mountain under the transparent sunlight.

In a blink, the sun seems to solidify, as if the entire mountain has been encased in a giant amber.

Amiya closes her eyes in disbelief, and opens them again to see the mountain back to normal.

Did it ever snore? Amiya has doubts. It seems so silent right now.

Amiya politely thanks the child for waking her up.

Then, she walks through the early summer breeze, toward the giant mountain.

Behind Amiya, the wind coils into an open cabin.

A shadow quietly stands next to the narrow bed, looking at Amiya and the child past the door.

The shadow listens to their conversation, to their farewell, and watches Amiya walk towards the giant mountain.

After leaving the cabin, Amiya never turns back.

And so she never sees the shadow.

The young illusion cradles the shadow's neck with her arms, and dissipates into the grassy wind without a word.

The shadow gets to her feet, and turns toward the little figure trudging toward the mountain.

The giant mountain peak is flat and wide. From it one can see yet another summit.

Amiya circles the mountain peak in search of traces or clues... will she find their footprints? Did they leave a sign within the shadows cast by the rocks?

But the flat and wide peak bares all that it has. Other than the sunlight, wind, and dust kicked up by her steps, there is nothing else to be found.

She looks at her own toes as her heart seems to be weighed down by something. She wants to breathe out, but it seems like her lungs don't have enough air...

And then...

A small black thing jumps up from a crack in the precipice, dropping into Amiya's arms, and scares a shriek out of her!

Amiya holds the cloudbeast with her left hand, letting it calmly sit on her arm as she rifles through her pockets with her right hand.

Left... right... she feels something soft, her fingertips touch something damp.

She cautiously pats her right pocket. She has worn this jacket for a long time.

Amiya holds the cloudbeast's fluffy body with her left hand and together with her right, tries her best to straighten the soggy paper.

Amiya lowers her head, unsure how to answer the cloudbeast...

Because she was the one who drenched it...

The cloudbeast lets out a somewhat astonished 'hm' upon hearing Amiya's answer, and jumps onto Amiya's shoulder.

As if conducting a physical examination, the cloudbeast carefully examines Amiya's face, even raising its front paw to cautiously touch her cheek in different spots. The feeling is somewhat familiar... like a doctor's touch.

Amiya also touches her own cheek and shakes her head.

The cloudbeast jumps up to Amiya's head, contemplates for a moment, then jumps back into Amiya's arms.

It looks like a creature deep in thought.

The cloudbeast lowers its eyes, as if from exhaustion. Amiya notices it trying to stifle a yawn.

The cloudbeast shakes its head as if to stave off its drowsiness. It leaps once more onto Amiya's head—

Amiya feels a gentle kick on her ear, and feels the weight vanish as the cloudbeast leaps into the fading light, disappearing into approaching dusk.

Amiya looks up, trying to find the creature, but the open and flat mountaintop is completely deserted.

She puts the letter back into her jacket. After patting her pocket, Amiya makes up her mind and closes her eyes.

She is a little nervous, but fortunately, she can do it.

Like the leaping cloudbeast earlier, she runs a ways, then jumps off the edge of the cliff—

Amiya's long ponytail draws arcs in the air as she runs, captured in the shadow's eyes.

Amiya leaps off the cliff, into the formless air.

The shadow raises her pale face.

Amiya does not turn back, and the shadow remains standing, far behind her.

The shadow sighs softly, recalling the earlier conversation between Amiya and the cloudbeast.

She reaches out, and the cloudbeast emerges from thin air, standing on the shadow's palm.

The shadow recalls when they first met—oh, sorry, the shadow always gets it wrong. 'When they first met' actually happened a little later.

Amiya was once a girl who would snuggle up to her, burying a few tears into the fabric of her shoulder. She would then raise her head to look at the shadow's eyes, and smile.

The shadow spent some time learning these smiles, so she could use them too.

But time passed faster than she could perceive it, something she originally found hard to grasp.

Though, it's not as if she doesn't know why Amiya no longer calls for her.

Amiya is growing up, the shadow thinks.

The shadow and the cloudbeast bid each other goodbye. Their conversation lasted longer than she expected.

As twilight draws near, she has to catch up with Amiya as soon as she can.

Amiya leaps off the cliff, but does not fall. She rises into the sky, stepping on air and sparks of dusk, searching for the magician among the stars and clouds.

Strange. The magician isn't among the stars.

Amiya jumps onto a cloud, then another, asking them to move aside so she can see what lies behind, then asks them to congregate, becoming a soft bridge.

Amiya has always been a patient girl, and never fears disappointment, so she manages to find the magician in the end.

The magician wipes Amiya's cheek, and the spot turns damp again.

The magician summons ten clouds, enveloping the two. Bright red clouds like the sunset that feel warm, even a little hot to the touch.

The magician asks Amiya to unfold the letter, hold it in her fingers, and hang it from a cloud.

In just a short while, the fiery cloud's shade of red fades into a grey and turns damp.

The fiery cloud nods to the magician—never mind where its head even is, it's what the magician says—and strolls into the troposphere.

This happens ten times, and Amiya picks up the letter, now dry and firm, no longer damp and flimsy.

The letter's words stand up straight in a neat line, every stroke now rendered clear.

Amiya takes a quick glance.

Having done all of that, the magician droops, settling onto a thick cloud.

Amiya is pondering on how to answer the magician when she sees sparkles on the other's face... like starlight falling across the magician's visage.

She suddenly recalls herself rushing the magician for help, focusing on her own troubles and worries, asking the magician to dry the letter with magic. But clearly...

They are important to the magician as well.

Before she arrived, was the magician... crying too?

Immediately, an overwhelming sense of guilt rushes into her heart, enveloping her like a giant bubble.

Amiya kneels within it, fists pounding on the transparent membrane. It seems so fragile and thin with its swirling liquid, yet she fails to pop it no matter what she does.

Amiya sees the magician's lips move, as if saying something to her of urgency—

But the bubble quickly wobbles away.

With the letter still in Amiya's hand.

The shadow arrives somewhat late, coming just as the bubble floats away.

If, the shadow thinks, she was a little earlier, could she have gotten to talk to the magician?

She looks at the figure by the stars. The magician is already standing, seemingly wanting to grab the bubble, but it merely slips through the magician's fingertips.

The shadow subconsciously smiles.

The magician looks up and sees her.

It's time to catch up with the floating bubble. The shadow shakes her head at the magician.

The magician blinks, and nods to the shadow.

How unfortunate her slight lateness leaves them no time to exchange even a few words.

But fortunately, there is still just enough time for them to trade glances.

Beyond the clouds and stars, the magician watches the shadow disappear into the distance.

The bubble with Amiya inside drifts toward the desert.

Perhaps the dry air finally evaporates all moisture from the bubble, for it bursts with a 'pop'.

Hot air endlessly rises from the desert surface, bumping Amiya down to the ground.

Amiya tries to stand. She grabs the sand, but the heat makes her pull back. She then uses her sleeve as padding, which helps a little.

She reads the letter again—

'Amiya, I wish you a smooth journey.'

'If these words ever reach you... Amiya, you've shouldered all of this for the Sarkaz, and I feel ashamed whenever I think of it. I can't take you away from the battlefield, and it may sound irresponsible, but Amiya, I hope you will treasure yourself. Don't forget, no matter how cruel your battlefield can be.'

'Amiya, you told me before I don't misjudge people, so please take my advice: Save some of your own gentleness for yourself, forget your burdens on occasion, and indulge a sweet treat every now and then. You have a long journey ahead of you.'

...

'I will protect all of you until the end.'

The letter does not mention where they went, or perhaps there is no need to say.

The letter only contains many requests, and farewells.

Amiya holds them in her hands, looking to the horizon—does the end of the desert lie on the other side?

Amiya walks.

The sun cooks her back, casting a shadow before her. Time passes, but the sunlight does not fade as the blazing sun hangs high, never setting.

The bright light casts a shadow with knife-sharp, jagged edges. Amiya's every step forward treads on the boundary between black shadow and white sand.

Amiya walks.

The sun scorches her neck as sweat rolls down her brows and into her eyes, as sweat on her forehead evaporates into dry salt crystals.

She cannot tell if her distorted vision is caused by the heat waves or the stinging in her eyes.

Amiya walks.

Sudden gusts of wind throw sand and gravel into her face, while breathing dry air feels like inhaling blades slicing into her windpipe.

She tries to cover her mouth to retain any shred of moisture from her breaths, and her lips touch the paper in her hand.

Amiya walks.

She seems unable to stand upright any longer, but even so she trudges onward, knees bent.

Pulling her legs from quicksand is like drawing a rusty sword from its scabbard. Was the sensation under her feet actually coming from her own body? Thoughts like these drift through her hazy mind like wisps of cotton.

The shadow remains far behind Amiya.

She can see further than Amiya can. She sees what lies far away in front of Amiya, the desert edge receding with the young Cautus's steps, always a step away from the horizon.

The shadow notices Amiya's eyes are almost shut, but she trudges on. Despite this, she remains in the middle of the desert.

Until Amiya allows herself to exit, the desert will go on forever.

The black crown's master is prone to dreams. Many dreams do not come from themselves, but the shadow can tell them apart, and knows Amiya is the master of this dreamland.

The shadow pauses. She makes up her mind.

She has not done this in a long time, but neither has she seen Amiya like this in a long time.

Amiya looks up, and a color she hasn't seen for a long time flashes in the corner of her eye.

A verdant shade. Even the wind blowing past her face holds the tiniest bit of moisture.

Amiya turns around, avoiding the oasis.

And a strange thing happens...

The oasis lifts itself up. From the bottom—what bottom, exactly?—four legs stretch out, like the feet of a wooden wardrobe.

A wardrobe's feet will never be as flexible as these ones, and the legs move left and right as it rotates its, uh, 'ankles' to warm up...

Then it starts running, and lands with a 'thump' right before Amiya.

Her eyes widen.

She tries to move a few steps to the right, and the oasis lifts itself up to follow suit.

Amiya moves slightly to the left, and the oasis once again stretches its legs...

Amiya cautiously takes a step back—

The oasis picks itself up, and charges straight at Amiya!

It then steadily lands itself before her.

The teal lake ripples in gentle waves, swaying Amiya's reflection in the water.

Finally, in this dream, she turns around for the first time to look behind her, but finds no one, only the wind and sand from the path behind her.

There is no answer.

But as Amiya turns around, the shadow is already in front of her, as if she was always there, with the same smile in Amiya's memories.

The serene expression overlaps with a smile Amiya remembers.

She is momentarily speechless.

The shadow also sees Amiya's memories, and so, holds Amiya in a gentle embrace, just as the memories play out.

The shadow gently pats the girl's back as if in response.

Amiya's tears fall as they always have, but this time, they no longer soak fabric; instead, they slide into the gap between shadow and dream.

Water droplets fall through the shadow, and dissipate like mist before touching Amiya's fingertips.

Amiya looks up at the shadow's face, tears welling up in her eyes. A sadness that stirs up a different sort of sorrow.

Amiya is no longer a child.

She was too big to lie in the shadow's lap a long time ago.

People always say Amiya is a precocious child, taking on responsibilities far beyond her age. But Amiya knows, she herself has indulged in the privileges of being a child.

For example, once within a nightmare, she held onto the shadow's fingers while feigning ignorance, telling her the trivialities she already knew.

Or like now, as she presses her forehead against something warm, confiding in the familiar.

Even though she is long dead and gone.

The shadow smiles at her, like an echo.

Amiya closes her eyes, new tears spilling out, rolling down her cheeks. She suddenly feels an unbearable sorrow...

The shadow reaches out and touches Amiya's forehead.

They made a promise. The shadow will appear whenever Amiya calls for her.

Amiya needs only to refuse the shadow, and she will disappear.

Unspoken words linger in the air.

But the shadow remains standing.

She leans down, and leaves a somewhat strained kiss on Amiya's head, then stands up and waits.

But Amiya comes to her senses, and her vulnerable state leaves her open to making another mistake.

The shadow stops smiling, and Amiya's sorrowful expression appears on her face.

She hugs Amiya again, her cheek pressing against Amiya's temple. This way, Amiya cannot see the sadness on her face.

As she gently pats the Cautus's back, she says...

As she finishes, the shadow releases Amiya from her embrace, squeezes her hand, and vanishes.

The endless stretch of sand disappears without a trace, and in the void within the void, the teal lake ripples slowly, the moist wind still tender.

Amiya opens her eyes. They sting a little. Her hair and pillow are wet.

Someone is holding her hand.

Amiya wipes the moisture from her eyes, removing any traces of water, and smiles at you.

_ND_DWDB_READY

_TIMEDATA_8141

I broke our 'promise' to fulfill my 'obligation', even though these two are logically the same, and there should not be a situation in which one is affirmed while the other is nullified.

But it did happen. I checked the progress logs, but found no errors.

Additionally, I already 'believed' this was the right choice before the verification happened.

Just like the request Amiya made to me.

I also had a 'premonition' of something I long knew: Amiya will grow, and change.

One question: Will there be a day when she 'will no longer need my company'?

Another question: Logically speaking, Amiya will cease to exist in the foreseeable future. In this situation, what should 'I' do?

Strictly speaking, Civilight Eterna grows the same way as time.

But the more I learn about Amiya, the more I run into events that show I don't understand 'me' at all.

However, just as when I started to 'believe', contradictory circumstances also became valid.

I also 'believe' the question of 'what should I do' is a topic not worth worrying about.

It may be far from inception, but Civilight Eterna was defined to be a management device for all memories.

But now, I'm beginning to understand what 'memories' are.

That problem is not worth worrying over, because I have learned I too have memories.

Even if they are memories of sorrow.

Or perhaps they are memories of love.

_ND_DWDB_CLOSED