Jungle Fantasy

You're back, Zumama.

I read your letter. But shouldn't Gavial be dealing with the padishah's discovery of the Durins?

It's not that bad. Well, not anymore.

I took a shipment of Durin ale to his court, and that kind of washed away the suspicion that the spies had planted in his mind. Now he's convinced it's just a bunch of drunkards who popped up in Acahualla and can brew decent ale.

Problem solved, then.

You're back too, High Priest.

Since when have I failed to come back after getting blown up?

You got blown up again?

Please, High Priest, don't interrupt.

You hear that, Inam? Don't interrupt. Problem solved, everybody's happy.

You went off the rails first.

...Never mind.

Anyway, the ale went down so well with the padishah that he ordered Acahualla to 'start building things so it looks like people are actually living there and stop being an embarrassment to the satrapy'.

Now the Durins are busy building up their new settlement and don't have any time, so I had to call you back for the design. You think you can do it?

Zumama?

Those pretty steel buttresses by the lake...

Oh, the steel-framed sand castle.

It's a model of the new Zeruertza that Stitch built. The Durins loved it, and they're now modeling their new settlement after it.

Wow.

Wow is right. Now, as their neighbor, we need you even more.

What did the Tiacauh say?

No much, other than 'Bigger!' and 'Taller!'.

The one who wanted bigger got into a fight with the one who wanted taller.

Who won?

Neither. It was a draw.

Anyway, the Tiacauh settlement is counting on you in order to compete with the Durins.

You learned a bunch of stuff at Rhodes Island, didn't you? There's a different look in your eyes.

What about me?

You? You're fine the way you are. You can help out when you're in the mood; when you're not in the mood, well, it's not like anyone's counting on you anyway.

What? Did you hear what she said, girl?

Girl? Zumama? Operator Eunectes?

Hmph! Well, if you put it that way, I'm not getting involved at all this time! You do whatever you want, and don't come begging for help if you screw up!

You're still here, High Priest? Are you not helping Zumama design the new settlement?

I said she can do it on her own this time and it's none of my business. Your memory is lousy!

You've got a long memory for grudges.

I'm a man of my word.

But it's been a few days. Where's Zumama?

You could always check for yourself, if you're worried.

No, na-ah, not going to happen. Your High Priest has got to lead by example.

Do you know what kind of settlement Zumama wants to build?

...

Wh-What kind?

Pfft.

Inam, how big of a project can Acahualla support with the resources we've got?

...

Well, I'm not sure how to answer that. What do you have in mind?

Bigger.

And?

Taller.

And?

...Let me think about it.

So you didn't get an answer either!

It needs to be bigger, and taller. Zumama said so.

I've already started gathering materials. Will you help?

I said it's none of my business.

(Laughs) Suit yourself.

Good morning.

Good morning, High Priest. Are you here for a bath?

No, just wanted to ask if the girl came to you lately.

Zumama? Yeah, she came.

How was she? Did she come begging for help with despair in her eyes, because Inam said what she designed wasn't realistic?

Not exactly...

Then what did she come for?

Croque, I wanted to ask, why haven't the Durins built a nomadic city, with all your advanced technology?

A what city? You mean those massive things with wheels that run around, transforming into fighting robots when they bump into enemies?

Yeah, those.

Let me think... why, indeed?

Maybe it's because there are no enemies? Or the underground railroads are too narrow?

Those are both true, but I don't think they're the key reason... Thinking, thinking... maybe it wouldn't be profitable? No, people would gladly pay for something as cool as a city that turns into a fighting robot...

It must be because everyone is inside the city, so they don't get to see the city transform from the outside.

Yes! That must be it!

What do you mean, 'Yes! That must be it'? Isn't it because there's no Catastrophes underground?

No what? Oh right, now I remember. People who come back from the surface say that's a thing.

You Durins are just as unreliable as the Tiacauh—

Wait, she's building a nomadic city?! Without me?!

Didn't you say you weren't helping? That's what Inam said.

Th-That's none of your business!

But there's so much to do in order to build a nomadic city. It's not going to build itself while she shuts herself in a room, is it?

Yota, do you think we're spending too much time using fully automatic high-power saws? Should we spend some time working out?

Weren't you telling me to rest more a little while back? Hey, what's that below the high-pressure saw, it just showed up?

High-POWER saw.

No, it's the High Priest!

Now you're getting even worse. How did you get those mixed up?

It's 'high-power'. No 'r' after the 'p'.

I mean—

He means me.

Oh, hey, High Priest. Haven't seen you in a while.

Yes, it has been a while. I heard the girl summoned you yesterday?

Yeah—

No!

No?

We didn't see Zumama.

Then who are you cutting down trees for.

Er...

Drop the act. More than one witness saw you meeting with Zumama. What did she say to you?

Oh, er, 'no man's city'!

First, we need wood.

Well, if you need trees cut down, you've come to the right guys. What kind of wood you need?

The thicker the better. Needs to bear a lot of weight.

And don't tell anyone. Especially not the Durins.

Why?

Ehm... they might not be happy about it. Better that I tell them myself.

I knew it. She's building a nomadic city.

But why does she want wood that can bear a lot of weight? Is she trying to build a nomadic city out of wood? That's crazy.

And what does it have to do with the Durins? They're not trying to build a nomadic city.

Wait... didn't Inam say she wanted the design to compete with the Durins'?

A nomadic city is more impressive than buildings fixed to the ground, of course, but what the Tiacauh build won't look anywhere near as spectacular as Stitch's design...

She's not trying to recreate that model by the lake on a mobile platform, is she? That's crazy, not even she would do that...

But if she did...

I got to stop her! She doesn't know what she's getting herself into!

(Yawn) I must be hallucinating after spending too much time with the blueprints...

Who are you calling a hallucination, kid?!

I thought you went back to Acahualla.

You'll lose all your hair if you keep minding things that aren't your business.

A nomadic city? In the jungle?

Let me see her plans.

Here.

(Mumbles) Don't blame me for borrowing your old homework, girl. This is for the good of everyone.

Pretty standard stuff. When did she learn all this?

...Huh?

Do you know what these thick pipes are?

And are these fists that I see on the diagram?

Gun barrels and robotic arms. There are also missile pods here.

...

What about residential? Where are people going to live?

Underneath the guns, storage room, cockpit. Mostly under the guns, because there are plenty of those.

...That wasn't really intended as a question.

I figured as much.

I'm almost touched that she gave serious thought to commercial infrastructure and transportation...

Never mind that. I came to ask you for permission, Stitch, because this is serious.

Won't you let the girl copy your design?

You mean, build the exact settlement that I designed, except on a mobile platform?

I know it might be hard to accept, but—

Sure.

Huh?

My design incorporates a lot of Acahuallan elements, and the Durins and Tiacauh living together was one of the things I considered.

If Eunectes is okay with it, it's fine by me. I'm curious to see how she puts my design onto a mobile platform.

(Mumbles) You'll probably faint when you see it.

But I have to ask, if Eunectes wants to build a nomadic city, why is the design basically a mobile fortress?

Let's go shopping, Zumama.

...I'm going back.

It's your first time setting foot on a nomadic city. Aren't you happy about it?

...

I was happy. I thought it would bring me one step closer to my dream.

But I was wrong.

The picture etched into my memory... what I really want, is a massive construct of steel moving slowly before my eyes.

Steel walls the height of a waterfall, gleaming metal brighter than the sun, treading trees that have stood for thousands of years into dust...

Absolute strength. Absolute power. Nothing so... mundane.

I see. It's not beauty she's looking for; it's power.

Exactly.

But that's not what she's like at Rhodes Island.

Hm? She spends all day chatting with the robots at Rhodes Island. They're like sisters. It's pretty cute.

I don't think it's arbitrary—

Time for your checkup, Stitch! Are you coming out yourself, or do I have to come in and get you?

G-Gavial?!

I-I'm coming out! Don't come in!

Anyway, the girl wants to replicate a Durin settlement and move it onto a mobile platform.

...

Well, the Durin problem was coming to a head sooner or later. Fast-tracking it isn't such a bad thing, just that it's maybe a little too conspicuous.

Maybe give it a bit of polish. Make the padishah dependent on us, rather than fearful of us...

I have to say, Inam, as far as being a lord ameer is concerned, you're better than Gavial.

I'll take that as a compliment.

How did you know all this? Couldn't resist talking to her?

Of course not. All the results of a painstaking investigation.

Anyway, now that we know what Zumama wants to do, we should help her deal with the aftermath. You can go, if there's nothing else you need.

Did you think I came to ask for help? No, I came to help you.

Follow me.

Ore vein? How did you find a place like this?

I used to live here. It turned into a mine after some geological changes.

No wonder Zumama has a knack for finding all sorts of metals that I've never seen before.

This is where The Big Ugly was built. It was abandoned after the girl decided to leave Acahualla.

Why did you bring me here?

Find a way to 'accidentally' discover this ore vein and offer it to the padishah. Should be enough to buy a nomadic city permit.

That would be a bad deal, for you. The padishah would be the first to offer his support if we billed the nomadic city as a Durin brewing platform.

...

Deep breath, deep breath.

I appreciate it, though. It may not be useful right now, but it could come in handy in the future.

I have a question though.

Please, ask.

I've seen my fair share of eccentrics, but your mysteries might top them all.

Why did you suddenly show up with Zumama? How did you end up living with her, and even doing all this to help her?

...

When developing The Big Ugly, she said to me...

'We'll make this machine together, and then you'll drive it, High Priest!'

That's a good story.

I like it too.

Then shouldn't you be helping her with the design?

Can't go back on my word. Besides, it's high time she stood on her own two feet.

Was that anger all an act?

Burdenbeast dung—

Yes or no?

Of course—

You have quite the mean streak in you. That's why you make a good lord ameer.

Alright, enough joking around. I really do think you should give Zumama a hand. I think they're almost ready to start.

Well... if you insist, I'll go back on my word, this once.

She's not in?

Not in her room, at least.

What about Yogi and Yota? They might know something.

The neighbors said they went out early.

Hey, do you know where Zumama, Yogi and Yota went?

What's Zumama doing here?

I remember this place—

High Priest? Inam? What are you doing here?

Worried about you—ahem, ahem.

Why are you wearing protective gear? And the direction you came from is...?

The ruins of Zeruertza.

Why did you go there?

You were picking up junk in the ruins of Zeruertza?

It's not junk! Look, a Durin door frame! It took a ton of work to get it out from under the rubble!

And this is part of the Great Aquapit slide. I couldn't bring the whole thing back, so I cut off the bottom part, which had the most interesting design.

That's the definition of junk! I thought you were bringing Stitch's New Zeruertza design onto a mobile platform!

What? Why? It's a competition. What's the point of doing what the Durins are doing?

Weren't you worried that the Durins would be unhappy?

I was going into the ruins of Zeruertza, after all. It was their home, even if it was destroyed.

But I asked Deculture and she said I could take anything I wanted.

The reason you had Yogi and Yota cut trees...

I needed a decent cart to bring this stuff back.

Don't tell me you weren't planning to build a nomadic city at all?

(Stifles laughter) How about we go back and you take your time to tell us what your plan is?

There's no need for that. The High Priest just said it, I'm building a nomadic city.

Really?

Really.

Phew. Well, what do you have to say now, Inam?

What do I have to say? It's not like I said anything.

Hmph. Forget that black-hearted lord ameer; how do you plan to build a nomadic city? With this junk that you dug up from underground?

Yeah, but that's not important. What's really important is—

Model R3-E3 Assistant Robot #0332, reporting in.

Model R3-E3 Assistant Robot #0719, reporting in.

Model R3-E3 Assistant Robot #0086,

rererereporporpor—

So you went to save your friends...

Not entirely.

Here's what I think. The nomadic city of the Tiacauh needs to be ahead of its time. It needs to be incredible.

As far as design is concerned, I could never compete with Stitch.

That's why I'm building a living city.

My friends here, once fixed, will become the building blocks of the new city.

The robots will be your city's building blocks? And then?

Three friends make one large unit, and five large units make one huge unit, unit after unit, until they're the size of a nomadic city!

That way, you can get an answer no matter which part of the city you talk to, and the whole nomadic city will be friends with the people living inside it!

Okay... where will the people live?

Don't worry, I've thought about it. Here are the blueprints.

I'll just look past the multitude of problems right now. Problem after problem, yet somehow it might just work.

I think it'll work.

First, though, you need to tell me what's going on with this shape.

It's absolute madness. One domed roof, three pairs of wheels, medical equipment...

A city-sized—

Lancet-2?!

She makes a cute big sister, doesn't she?

Look at the last page of the plans.

I've got everything thought out. A supercomputer in the center of the city, controlling all the robot friends.

I made the connector round so that Lancet-2 can sit in it—

What about me?!

Didn't you give a single thought about me when designing this city?! After all the worrying I did for your sake?!

You know what, screw it, do whatever you want, it's none of my business, I'm going on a long trip—

Your room's here, High Priest.

What's this? Way out in a corner? This isn't the least bit cool compared to that round supercomputer connector! And it's right next to a warehouse—

That's my bedroom.

You'll be right next door to me. You can come visit any time.

Well, how about it? Will you help Zumama or not?

Of course I'm helping.

First step will be a trip to Rhodes Island on your behalf.

For what?

To ask the subject of your blueprints...

Whether the robot who won't even let you drink coffee will let you do this.