Arknights story · Operator Records
To Live, To Feel
Robin finds herself vexed because she hasn't been able to get used to life aboard Rhodes Island. One day, she finds an injured cloudbeast while on a mission...
1 scenes, 305 lines
1. Interlude
305 lines
We've reached the destination, and the surrounding area is cleared. Signal's... clear. Now establishing communications link—
This is Robin. The communications station has been established. Now attempting connection. Lighthouse, Lighthouse. Please answer if you read.
This is Lighthouse. The signal is normal. I can hear you loud and clear.
Now testing. 'All quiet on Rhodes Island.' Please read back.
'All quiet on Rhodes Island.'
Confirmed communications have been established.
Robin, did you learn all your secret codes from movies?
Haha, that's true. They are pretty cool.
Our mission today is to establish the communications network around the landship. Yours is the last node. Everybody else has already gone on back. Once you're back, we'll head back to the landship.
Okay.
Right, it'll still be pretty early by the time we get back. How about we all have a meal at the cafeteria together?
Uhh...
There's no need to be shy. It's just the operators on this mission today.
(Whispers) Hm? This picked up a new biosignal nearby.
(Whispers) It's very weak, but it should be around here.
Oh my—
(Weak howl)
Robin, I'm gonna ask the others to order ahead for us. What do you want?
I have a question.
Hm? What's wrong?
If we find an injured cloudbeast, what should we do with it?
(Moves head in curiosity)
Whoa, so cute! Can I touch it?
Yep.
Lighthouse's given it a checkup. Its injuries aren't serious. It'll get better after getting treatment on the landship.
That's right.
Are you going to adopt it?
I... I don't know.
Cloudbeasts are social animals, and this area isn't a suitable habitat for them.
It's probably here because it wandered off from its pack while they were migrating. It won't be easy to find them.
We'll be working in this area for a while, so we can try to look for its pack. This is also fate, though. Perhaps you should think about adopting it.
I don't know if I can...
Didn't you say you haven't been living a very healthy lifestyle?
Maybe keeping a pet will help you get rid of your bad habits.
Really?
Robin, this here's an automatic feeder and water fountain that Katie used to use. It's yours if you want it.
And take this pet food, too.
Wait, I thought Katie was a beckbeast?
Relax. This pet food is for both beckbeasts and cloudbeasts. Humans can eat it too. From what I heard, it's pretty darn good, too.
Have you tried it before?
Nope, haha.
Th—Thanks.
So, have you figured out what you want to call it yet?
That won't do. You two will be spending lots of time together.
Are you going to keep calling it 'cloudbeast'?
I'm not really good at coming up with names...
How about we all come up with a name for this little fella, and you pick one?
Good idea!
What do you think, Robin?
I... Yeah...
Oh, right, Lighthouse. You said I gotta give the little fella medicine, right? I—I'll head back and do that right now!
(Confused cry)
Sorry, I shouldn't have used you as an excuse.
They probably think I'm hard to get along with.
What do you think?
I don't think so.
They're all really kind people. You can tell, can't you? You're just guessing that's how they see you.
They're worried whether you can really take care of yourself and me at the same time. That's why they got all those pet supplies and started coming up with ideas for my name.
(Howls impatiently)
Yeah, I know I'm just guessing.
This is how I am. I have such a negative view of everyone, just like how I have a negative view of myself.
(Howls impatiently)
Are you hungry? It's time to eat.
(Eats happily)
(Looks up in puzzlement)
Okay, okay. I won't eat your food. Enjoy your meal.
I'll get myself a cup of coffee.
Do you want coffee?
I'm not sure you can have any, though...
(Cries with curiosity)
Okay... Just a little bit. It should be fine, right?
The feeble cub walks up to Robin's coffee cup and cautiously licks the coffee.
(Walks away in disgust)
It doesn't taste good, right? Actually, I don't really like it myself.
But somehow, before I knew it, I was already used to the taste.
Come, let's watch a movie together.
Robin wraps herself in her blanket and lets out a sigh.
Then, she makes some room for the cloudbeast cub to crawl inside.
(Cries with joy)
Welcome to my castle.
Sometimes, she feels that Rhodes Island is too big of a place, so much so that it makes her feel uncomfortable. She prefers smaller spaces, where she feels enveloped.
Before I was sent to Mansfield... I'd tuck myself into bed like this every evening after work.
I'd find a movie, watch it, then look up some reviews afterwards. Sometimes, I even watched analysis videos online. After that, I'd go to bed.
And it'd be all the better if it was raining outside.
I love it when it rains. That way, I won't feel pressured to go outside, and I get to stay in bed feeling extra at ease.
It's great when it's raining, don't you agree?
But why do you look so lonely?
In the past, to make a living and to pay for my dad's treatment... I had to live this kind of life.
I'm used to loneliness.
Are you going to stay lonely forever?
Is... Is that not okay?
This is Rhodes Island, not where you used to live. You have the choice to not be lonely.
As long as you wish for it.
I...
A few days later...
We've been searching all over whenever we're out on mission the last couple days. We haven't found a cloudbeast nest.
Yeah, Robin, I think you should brace yourself. You could be in this for the long run.
...
If you can't bring yourself to say it, want me to tell her?
Hm?
You see, he...
Hold on! Let me say it myself!
Well... It's about the cloudbeast's name. I thought about it, and I was in over my head. I didn't consider that you might actually be fond of the idea, so...
What's up?
Do you guys have time to come to my dorm room tomorrow to see the little fella and give it a name together?
Oh my! Of course!
Yeah, it ain't every day you invite us to do anything! I'm definitely coming!
Yeah, I have a couple questions I wanted to ask you about keeping pets, too.
Haha, you can count on me!
Catch, Hoppy!
(Howls excitedly)
Hey, Colin, I'm here for the little fella.
Hey, Robin!
Thanks for playing with it while I was out on my mission.
I oughta thank it instead! I love playing with it!
Did you just call it Hoppy?
Yep, I have a beckbeast back home called Poppy.
And this one keeps hopping around. That's why I'm calling it Hoppy! Right, Hoppy?
(Confused cry)
Hoppy... That's a good name.
Robin, are you taking Hoppy back?
Yep.
Okay, see you, Hoppy!
Final check—Cleaning, done.
The little fella's nest, done.
Simple decorations, done.
Invitation to Closure... sent.
Now I just gotta wait till everyone's here.
Okay, little fella. We gotta be at the top of our game today. Don't make the others worry about us, okay?
Robin holds the little fella in her arms and changes its bandages as she tells it what to do later and how she wants it to work with her.
Of course, she knows it can't actually understand her. Nonetheless, what they are about to do has her very excited.
Perhaps because she has gotten too absorbed in talking to the cloudbeast, by accident, she brushes the little fella's wounds.
(Shrieks angrily)
The little fella doesn't respond to Robin, only leaping to the side.
For some reason, Robin feels the excitement she had just a moment ago dampen immediately.
In its place, she feels a shred of anxiety.
Guess I'll head to Medical...
...
(Whispers) This doesn't mean anything.
(Whispers) I'll go get my wound treated quickly and go back for the rest of the prep.
Robin, are you hurt?
Here you go.
I had a look at the cloudbeast's medical report. It doesn't have any viruses.
If you feel sick later, come pay me another visit.
...
Robin, I don't think we've seen each other since we came to Rhodes Island.
This's the first time.
Oh... R—Right.
I looked for you a couple times, but you were never here.
I heard you signed a different contract to get treatment for your father, and you've been workin' very hard. I was worried maybe you'd forgotten me.
I'd never, Domma. Not a kind soul like you...
I... I'm just worried that... maybe you'd end up hating me.
How could I? You helped Anthony so much when we broke out of that prison.
Besides, if you weren't there in Mansfield to encourage me, I wouldn't've had the courage to settle down here.
Anthony hasn't ever told you?
Told me what? All he said was that the escape likely wouldn't've worked out without you.
(Grinds teeth and grumble) Anthony, you prick...
Robin was actually in her dorm room the few times that Domma tried to visit. She simply pretended that she was away.
And every time she visited the Medical Department, she always checked if Domma was away.
She has actually imagined a number of situations of herself running into Domma as well as thought about what to say to her when that happens.
However, for better or worse, she has never actually run into Domma until now.
Robin, what's wrong?
...
Robin remembers how ambitious she was.
Right, she ought to be braver!
Domma, actually, back in the prison break, I betrayed Anthony. I almost cut his escape short. I almost killed him myself, even.
He forgave me, but I haven't forgiven myself.
I've been really afraid to tell you this. You're such a kind soul, I thought maybe you would end up hating me if I told you.
Even so, I want to tell you. I'm not asking for your forgiveness. It's just that, only by telling you can I put my mind at ease... a little.
...
I could never hate you.
You had your reasons, didn't you? And we all got out and made it to Rhodes Island together. That alone's worth celebratin', no?
Robin. Robin?
Uh... yeah.
It's nothing. Just that Anthony and I had some differences of opinion during our escape.
I see, but we all got out and made it to Rhodes Island together. That alone's worth celebratin', no?
Okay.
You're so useless, Robin.
*sob* Completely and utterly useless.
I know Domma will forgive me... That's how kind she is.
She's so kind, she didn't even begin to suspect I've been avoiding her.
But that's exactly why I can't bring myself to tell her.
The anxiety in her is growing more intense.
Subconsciously, she walks toward the cloudbeast's nest in hopes of getting some sense of comfort from the baby.
Yet the cloudbeast is nowhere to be found.
Over the last few days, she has gotten used to having a small little thing pop out whenever she calls out, but that isn't happening right now.
Did I forget to lock the door when I went to Medical...?
Robin immediately checks her automatic door, and finds a few strands of its hair at the door.
...
Robin, why are you running? What's wrong?
Colin... Did the little fella... no, did Hoppy come look for you?
Hoppy? Nope. What's wrong?
I found its hair on my door, so...
No, I mean... When I went to Medical, I didn't close the door...
Ahh... no, no...
Robin, here. Have some water.
Thanks...
Phew... You see, Hoppy ran out of my room. I'm looking for it now.
Did you see it come this way?
Nope.
Okay... I'll keep looking.
Huh? Wait up! Rhodes Island's a huge place! How long do you plan on looking?
Huh... Closure? How'd you...?
I got your invitation, and I don't have anything to do today anyway, so I figured I'd come to your dorm room first to talk about which movie to watch, and then I saw you dashing out of your room.
Sorry, I was in such a hurry, I didn't see you...
Nah, I'm not trying to get you to apologize. What I'm saying is, you just gotta ask me for this kinda stuff.
You haven't forgotten who I am, right?
Who are you, lady?
Uh... Alright, listen up, boy. The lady standing in front of you is Kazdel's genius engineer and the creator of Rhodes Island—Closure!
But... I can't ask you to do this for me.
Come on, Robin. We put on four movie clubs together, plus we watched a dozen shit flicks together. And here I thought we're more than friends already—we're shit flick buddies.
Am I the only one who thinks that?
What kind of relationship is that?
Like, we watch shitty movies together. If you ever find some who's willing to watch shitty movies with you, that's a true friend, and you'd better treasure that friendship, kid.
Oh, okay...
Of course I see you as a good friend. It's just... I don't ask others for help often, so I didn't think...
Alright, then remember to come to me next time. If you don't, that means you don't think of me as a friend.
As she speaks, Closure uses her terminal and checks about a dozen surveillance cameras' footage. Finally, she finds the little fella's whereabouts.
Hm... Looks like it ran off to the bridge.
The bridge...
Maybe it wanted some fresh air since it's been inside for so long.
Or maybe it misses its family.
Well, whatever you think, that ain't a safe place for a small animal. You'd better head on over there now.
Yeah.
The training room isn't far away from the bridge. With Closure's guidance, Robin quickly made her way there.
There, the little fella is standing on a railing by the window, looking intently at the clouds faraway.
Do you miss home?
(Tilts head in puzzlement)
Life on Rhodes Island is good. You won't go hungry, and there'll probably be a lot of people who'll treat you well here.
But do you still want to go back to nature, where you belong?
Or do you want to stay here?
Robin tries to fantasize having a conversation with the little fella.
But she realizes she isn't able to.
I know. This is my decision to make.
But I haven't even figured out what to do, so how could I imagine how you'd answer?
But...
Sooner or later, we need to decide.
Hoppy!
(Leaps around in excitement)
The cloudbeast ignores Robin, and immediately brightens up upon seeing the ball in the boy's hand.
Little boy, looks like you're really good friends with the cloudbeast, too.
Yep, it's my good buddy!
Considering how Robin is, forget about taking care of it, I'm more worried about her ending up dead.
Maybe you should take care of it instead.
Uh... I think that's up to Robin. Besides, I don't think it's important who takes care of it.
I'll be happy as long as I can play with it every day.
When she sees the little fella playing with the boy, Robin suddenly realizes that, aside from herself, the cloudbeast cub has already found a new friend onboard Rhodes Island.
But it is only now that she truly understands what that means: The little fella has a lot of choices open to it.
The choice that she tried to force on it does not actually exist in the first place.
Just like the choice that she's forcing on herself does not actually exist.
I brought it here, so I have a responsibility to take care of it or help it find a home.
Besides, everyone says that keeping pets can help you improve your lifestyle...
What? Robin!
You came to me at three in the morning last night to talk about that crap that Nian directed!
I can tell at a glance that you're not that kinda girl!
Robin stares, blank, for a spell.
Has she actually gotten used to this lifestyle because of her life's circumstances, or is that just the person she is?
Or is it perhaps both?
But... that's not a good thing.
What's so bad about it? I've never had a proper work-life balance myself.
Yesterday, I slept through Engineering's meeting. Eunectes tore me a new one, but look, I'm still here.
It's nobody's business! Haha!
...
Hearing Closure's nonchalant response, Robin finally understands just what the anxiety she feels is actually about.
She feels remorse for what happened during their escape from prison, and she wants to one day tell Domma the truth.
She feels bad for not asking Closure for help, and she wishes to one day become someone who can ask her friends for help.
She is thankful for her coworkers' kindness, and she looks forward to the day she can return the favor.
She wants, she wishes, and she looks forward. That is why she is unwilling to admit that who she is right now cannot achieve any of this. She can't make herself like that just because of a single idea.
She simply can't tell Domma, because she cannot cross that hurdle in her mind.
She simply doesn't think to ask her friends when she needs help, because she has little to no friends.
She simply doesn't know how to respond to the kindness of others, because she has never actually accepted their kindness.
These chaotic ideas made her try her hardest to deny her past lifestyle, to the point that she tried to force all this on a little cloudbeast.
But the truth is it might be exactly as Closure says—
You're right. It's nobody's business.
That's my girl. If you had the time to worry about this stuff, you really should be figuring out what we should watch next.
Yep.
Robin, catch!
You should play with Hoppy too!
(Howls happily)