Black Bread and Butter

Bloomfield Station is quite something. Everywhere you look, everything is in perfect order. Even the buildings and windows are spotless... I'd say the stationmaster runs a pretty tight ship!

Camilla already works hard enough keeping The Asphodel in order, but once the crowds roll in, even she can't catch every little detail. But here? There must be thousands of people passing through every day. Tens of thousands, even!

Dad, my leg's just hurt a bit, it's not really broken! Please... please don't leave me just because I limp!

Hm? What's going on over there? And here I was, singing this place's praises. Little Minion, quick, let's go and have a look!

What the hell are you talking about? I don't even know you!

You'd better start explaining yourself. Which woman have you been carrying on with behind my back? Honestly... to think your little bastard would come all the way here looking for you.

Dad! Are you really leaving me behind? I've been waiting here for you all this time... every day, begging passing nobles for a few coins just so I could buy some hard, stale black bread. I stayed here because I thought you'd come back for me...

How could you do this to me? I just... I just wanted to go home with you...

I was only just saying how well this place was being run, and then we turn around and find a scene like this? Hmph! This is outrageous!

Hey! You've clearly got money to spare, so why are you throwing your own kid away?

What? And who exactly are you supposed to be? Don't tell me you're in league with this brat. If you're trying to swindle us, you've picked the wrong target. You really don't want to cross us.

Exactly! I'm going straight to Stationmaster Eisenbahn and having the guards deal with the two of you!

What are you talking about? How can they do something like this in front of everyone? We have to get the station guards!

That's right! And I'm reporting you to the guards. Just you wait!

You're reporting me? Hah... that's rich. The grifters want to call the guards? By all means, go right ahead. It'll save everyone time when they come and haul you lot off.

Are you all right? How's your leg? Little Minion, come help him!

My lord, my lady, my apologies... the queue took longer than expected.

Mum, I wanted chocolate ice cream, but they'd sold out, so I got two vanilla ones instead!

Hm? Dad, who are they?

See? This is my son. Now take your cheap little act and get out of here. Keep bothering us, and I'll go straight to Stationmaster Eisenbahn myself. I don't care if we miss today's train, I can always buy new tickets.

Huh? Another son? Wait... Little Minion, what's going on? I'm completely lost now...

...Snow, I think you've got it all wrong.

With a head that big, you'd think there'd be a brain in it. While you were busy making a scene, that little grifter slipped away.

Huh...? What!?

Aww... so that kid really was a grifter. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing...

How many times have I told you? Don't jump in before you've worked out what's going on. See? Now you've gone and embarrassed yourself.

All right, all right... I'm sorry. Next time I promise...

...Every time you make a promise like that, I know there'll be a next time.

...

Hm? Aren't you that little grifter from earlier? You've got a lot of nerve coming back here!

Look what you got us into! I was only trying to help, and you made a fool of me! You even made my Little Minion look stupid too... Waaah...

I don't remember asking you to help me.

What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying this was our fault? How can you say that? Even if you're not going to apologise, you could at least say thank you!

...

They weren't really my parents, no. But who's to say they couldn't have been?

What do you mean? They weren't, but they could have been? Ugh, now I'm confused again!

I mean, they could have been my parents. Or maybe not. Same with you. You could be my parents too. Or maybe not.

All it takes is for you to say yes, and then you are. Isn't that right?

So...

You were just looking for anyone willing to be your parents. It didn't matter who they were, or whether they were even a couple.

That's right. As long as there are two of them, nothing else matters.

That's why I've come to apologise. To you, my father... and to this Luno here, my mother.

?

?

What? You don't like that? I can swap you round. You can be my mother, and the Luno can be my father.

???

???

Little Minion... was that even human language? I didn't understand a word he just said.

My leg's no good, but if it's work I can do with my hands, I can do it. I'm not afraid of hard work. I can live on black bread, and I don't mind where I sleep, in an attic, in a little room under the stairs, anywhere.

Anything would be better than hearing trains roaring out all day... so be my parents, and take me away from this station. If you'll just take me with you, I'll do anything!

Come on, son. Let's get you some ice cream. But first, give daddy every coin you've swindled today.

L, Little Minion...? What are you saying? Have you lost your mind!?

I'm Vita, and she's Snow. We're Phoxhunters from Icelake, and we've got something else to do here.

Well... if there's something you need help with, we can do what we can, but nothing too difficult, all right? We won't be here much longer, after all...

Vita... Snow... I'm Coney! If you're really going to help me, then help me find a dad...

Not that! We can't help you with that!

Oh... all right then...

Then go and get something for me from inside a chimney, will you?

This is the place. Just climb in. You're Phoxhunters, so you should be quick enough on your feet. Just avoid the steam and you'll be fine.

Last time I was working in there, I brought a photo up with me. It slipped into a gap, and I spent too long trying to get it back. Then I didn't get out of the steam in time, fell down, and...

Anyway, be careful up there. If you end up breaking your legs too, I won't be able to find you another parent. No... two parents.

Oh, you don't need to worry about that! Something like this is nothing for my Little Minion~

Snow? Why did you come in after me?

What he said about falling and breaking a leg sounded scary... so I came along to help. Maybe clear the way for you~

Has it occurred to you that bringing you along might only make things worse...?

That boy really is weird. He's nothing like the kids I've met in Icelake. The way he talks... everything about him feels strange.

And seriously, who goes round a train station trying to make random people their mum and dad? And who brings a photograph with them to clean a chimney?

Focus, Snow. Watch out for the steam!

Waaah! Help, Little Minion!

Found it! This is the one, right?

Is that really him in the photo? He doesn't look like the same person at all. Even his hair colour is different...

This is getting stranger by the minute. Why would he send us to fetch someone else's family photo?

...Let's take it back to him first.

Well, look who it is, the Screwdrivers' chimney duo. Ah, no, that won't do any more, will it? More like a one-man act now... though with that limp, maybe not even that. Guess you're just our little cripple from the chimneys now.

You tried your luck on another noble today, didn't you? You ought to know where the line is. Keep this up and people will start looking at all of us like we're nothing but street trash.

You'd better hope none of them take it to Eisenbahn. If he uses this as an excuse to crack down on the union, none of us will come out of it clean.

Every one of them was catching a train the day I spoke to them. They wouldn't have had time to go to Eisenbahn.

That's enough. No need to take it out on him. He's just a kid.

I'm just trying to knock some sense into him. Not everyone gets Svea's kind of luck, got kidnapped as a kid, then found his way home years later because his parents never stopped looking for him.

But you? You're a foundling. How many years has it been now? Still haven't worked it out? No one's coming to the station to take you home. And if you leave this place, you won't even have a job to keep yourself fed. So stop daydreaming.

Are you done?

I only came to ask for help getting something back. Now that I have it, I'll go back upstairs and do whatever work I still can. I won't cause any trouble for the union.

That's better... much better. Good boy. Tell you what, we've just picked up a window-cleaning job. Your leg's bad, not your hands. You can still handle that, can't you?

All right. I'll go now.

Once the union's taken what you owe, you'll still have ten coppers left for yourself. So do the job properly, and be grateful for the boss's generosity.

Kroger, that's enough. Come on, we still haven't finished what the boss told us to do.

Yeah, yeah. Lorent, remember when we were drinking the other night? Everyone agreed you're the biggest nag in the whole union...

I was expecting to hear two little yelps, then two loud thuds right next to me. Looks like you got lucky.

Pff, what do you mean, lucky? We made it back because we're good! Climbing a chimney and fetching one little photo was nothing to us!

Good question. So you really did hear all of that.

That said, we have rules here. Information isn't free. What are you offering in return? You could help me find a...

We're not helping you find a mum or dad! And besides, didn't we just get your photo back for you? Though we're not even sure it's really yours... no one in it looks anything like you!

That's not the same thing. Fetching the photo was a favour you offered on your own. We're square on that. If you want answers, that'll cost extra.

How much?

A ten-copper job. Cleaning windows.

Why do we have to do this? Honestly, Little Minion, I've already wiped more than enough glass at The Asphodel. How did we come all the way to the station just to end up doing this sort of work again...?

The windows here are all at different heights. Some of them need a ladder. I'm a cripple, remember? Show a little sympathy, will you?

Snow... that spot isn't dirt. It's part of the pattern.

I get it!

Ten coppers will get you a loaf of black bread, with just enough left over for a little knob of butter that's starting to turn. It's a bit sour, but it makes the bread easier to swallow, so it doesn't scrape your throat raw on the way down.

I've heard nobles complain that when their steak's overdone, it's hard to chew and catches in the throat. So I suppose I eat like a noble, in a way.

Thanks for the help. Since I only got today's black bread because of you, I can spare you a bite.

Um... that's all right. It doesn't sound very appetising...

Fine by me. There wasn't much of it anyway. If you'd actually taken me up on it, I'd have spent the whole time regretting it.

Now, about our questions...

Right. I did promise to answer them, didn't I? It's not exactly a secret, so I don't mind telling you.

Though I'm not sure where to begin... I've half forgotten what you asked me already. Why don't you ask again?

A bunch of boiler-room rats. The sort no one wants around. So we banded together, found ways to make ourselves useful, and made sure everyone could at least keep themselves fed.

The Screwdriver Union. An interesting name, right? They say the man who came up with it studied at the Aeolipile and was some famous engineer who helped improve the phoxichor engines there.

As for why a great engineer picked such a lame name, some people say he was so obsessed with engines at school that he wouldn't even look up when he ate. He just grabbed a screwdriver and used it as a fork. After that, he got oddly attached to screwdrivers.

So it's a group made up of people who work at the station?

Not just anyone gets in. Day labourers, people who can't handle hard work, anyone hiding here because they're in trouble somewhere else, and anyone who just looks shifty... they all get turned away.

I don't get it. You already work at the station under Eisenbahn, don't you? So why set up a group of your own? It sounds a bit like the Phoxhunters at The Asphodel...

Hee hee. No idea.

You don't know? I thought you were one of those sly little know-it-alls!

I'm just a kid. If they'll have me and keep me fed, that's already more than I could ask. Why would I stick my nose where it doesn't belong?

More or less... though not to them specifically. I owe the whole union. The money comes from the union, and those two are just collecting on its behalf.

As you can see, I have a bad leg. And how that happened... well, I don't think I need to tell that story again. So if you're a cripple, and the most you can earn in a day is ten coppers, how are you supposed to pay to have your leg treated?

The answer's simple. You borrow from the union, then go and see a doctor.

So it's a union that lends people money? Then why say it's everyone's money? Is it like some kind of merchants' group, like the Starweavers?

What's "Starweavers"? No idea what you're talking about.

We work here, and every time we finish a job, we hand part of the money over to the union. Then, when we can't work any more, the union gives money back to us.

That way, when the higher-ups decide we're too old to be useful and toss us aside, we'll still be able to afford a bit of stale black bread.

Doesn't Eisenbahn do anything to protect the people who work here?

Protect us? Hah. That sounds about as ridiculous as the rubbish those stupid codgers upstairs spout when they're drunk.

Friend? Pah. He was an ungrateful little wretch. He got kidnapped, somehow made it out, then stumbled straight into this place... just another rotten hole.

I took him in because I felt sorry for him. Taught him how to climb chimneys. How to get black bread with butter at the station. And what did I get in return?

The moment his family showed up, he ran off without looking back. Left his photo with me and said it was... what was it again... a lucky charm, so that I'd find my mum and dad one day too.

What a load of rubbish. I'm just an orphan nobody wanted. I'll be stuck in this rotten place for the rest of my life.

You don't sound as though you hated him that much. If you did, you wouldn't have kept the photo all this time or asked us to get it back.

Uh-uh. That photo's useful to me. Once I've saved enough, I'll dye my hair to match his. Then the next time I run into some noble or other, I'll say the boy in the picture is me. It'll make the story sound more convincing.

So... when you go round the station trying to get random strangers to take you in as their son, you're trying to get out of here the same way Svea did?

What else am I supposed to do? Walk out of here and starve? They say Icelake's freezing. Even if I went scavenging to keep myself fed, I'd be dead by nightfall.

At least in the station it's warm.

Coney...

What? Go on. Laugh if you want. Tell me I'm being ridiculous, like everyone else. Of course I know it won't happen.

But... what if it did?

I mean, look at Svea. He got kidnapped, somehow made it out, ended up here of all places, met me, and then his parents came and took him home. What are the odds of that? One in ten million?

So why couldn't I be the one who gets lucky? Maybe that's all I need, one chance in ten million. And if it did happen... if some kind noble couple took me in... I'd get three meals a day. Two thick slices of black bread, with butter in the middle every time!

That answers all your questions. I was only going to answer one, but since you really do seem like kind people, I threw in the other two for free.

So, since you're both so kind... any chance you'd reconsider being my mum and dad?

You saw it yourselves, I can still pull my weight. I can clean windows, for one. We worked together just now, and the ones I did came out brighter than yours, so that has to count for something...

Sorry. Still no.

Right. Of course. Another no. Fine.

Then goodbye. Forget I said anything. And if you run into me again while you're here, if I'm in the middle of trying my luck with some noble, don't come over and ruin it for me this time. All right?

But...

I'm pretty sure the windows at The Asphodel aren't nearly as high. Even someone your size wouldn't have to climb all over the place to reach them.

There you go again. The Asphodel this, The Asphodel that. I don't know what it is, so why not just tell me?

Little Minion! Can I take this one?

Mm-hm.

All right then... ahem. Since you asked, the great Demon King shall explain~

We can't be your mum and dad, but there's a tavern in Icelake called The Asphodel, and we know the lady who runs the place!

You can go there and tell her Snow and Vita sent you. Ask if she'll give you a job.

Wh, What...?

Though... we can't promise she'll take you in...

Still, if you go to her with even half the cheek you had when you were stopping nobles at the station, you might just be able to wear her down.

R, Really!? That's great... that's really great... I can do that. I'm good at that.

Coney's a lucky boy, running into two people with hearts of gold like you.

Who's there? Oh, it's you...

Kroger, that's enough. Come on, we still haven't finished what the boss told us to do.

Yeah, yeah. Lorent, remember when we were drinking the other night? Everyone agreed you're the biggest nag in the whole union...

Lorent.

Oh? Nice of you to remember my name. Still, you've sent Coney away while he still owes the union money for his medical bills. Who's supposed to cover that loss?

Hey! That's not fair! Even if he stayed, it's not like he'd be earning you much with his bad leg. And if Camilla takes him in, he might actually start making proper wages at The Asphodel. However you look at it, that's a far better deal than staying here for ten coppers.

No need to get worked up. I'm only here to pass on a message. Our boss wants to see you.

What? Your boss wants to see us?

This isn't really the place for a conversation like that. Shall we talk somewhere else?

He gave up so fast. I thought he'd keep pestering us for ages...

He's sharp. He knew there was nothing to gain by pushing us any further.

Then why did he pull something like that with that noble couple?