Zen and the Art of Locomotive Maintenance

Back already, huh? Gotta say, I didn't think you had it in you. Heard you turned Jack's little parlour inside out. Now the workers are back on the job instead of chasing easy money.

It was nothing. What are you doing out here?

The chairman's back. Lorent's talking to her right now.

Wait, what? I thought you and Lorent were the ones running the Screwdriver Union. Since when do you have a chairman?

Who told you that? Don't believe every rumour you hear. Though, knowing Maggie, she probably started that one herself. Nobody else wants the job.

Maggie?

Come on. We'll talk inside. The people you need to meet are all in there.

We're dealing with it, one thing at a time. Just try not to make any more trouble while we clean up this mess, all right? Now, have you found the ledger yet?

What ledger? No idea what you're talking about.

Don't play dumb, Maggie. You know exactly what I'm talking about. It's important.

Tch... yeah, yeah, I know. I've already got the kids up on the skylights asking around. These things take time, you know. Eisenbahn's been keeping us on a pretty short leash lately.

Fine. As for the other matter... Wait.

Well, look who's back. Our hero.

Hero? What'd she do?

She tore Jack's little parlour apart. Lorent didn't tell you? All those hooks that bastard had planted in the ironworks got rooted out with it. Puts me in a damn good mood just thinking about it.

It's not all good news. Now we'll need people to cover those shifts for now.

Ah, to hell with that. They never did any work anyway. Spent all day dragging people off to gamble.

Ohhh, so you're the one who did all that! Nice to meet you. I'm Maggie, Chairman of the Screwdriver Union.

And me! Me too! I helped take down the parlour!

And you've got a Luno tagging along? What's she do, then? Is she like that one at the platform who won't shut up about trains? Only this one won't shut up about you?

Hey! Watch it! I am the Pure-White Redeemer ☆ Demon King of Light! Loyal companion to my Little Minion! Ace Phoxhunter of The Asphodel, Snow!

Right. So she does all the work, and you stand there making up fancy titles. You're just there for show, then? Same as me.

What's that supposed to mean? For your information, I am...

Snow, you can list your mighty titles later...

Well. As you've probably gathered, the Chairman of the Screwdriver Union is, in fact, a child.

Having a figurehead wasn't exactly the plan. The problem was, no adult was willing to take the position. Being Chairman of the Screwdriver Union means openly standing up to Eisenbahn.

Mhm. They told me, "It's just like being in charge of the kids up on the skylights. Only now, you get to boss around all the workers at the station too. Proper big-shot stuff, right?"

So I said yes. Then I got here and realised they'd handed me a sack of crap and called it a crown.

Kroger, I've told you not to use that kind of language around her. Look at her now.

Oh, piss off. How's that on me? She picked up plenty of it herself out there.

You've got a decent idea of what the Screwdriver Union is by now, haven't you? We're a workers' union here at the station. We look out for one another. But when all's said and done, we're still workers. We make our living under the people at the top.

Whether we eat well or go hungry depends on what they decide. If management's in a good mood, maybe there's an extra loaf of bread on our table. If they're not, we might go two days without a proper meal.

And who sits at the top of Bloomfield Station?

Eisenbahn's the sun above us! The very reason this station shines! Eisenbahn's the ground beneath us! The very reason this station stands!

Whoa! Don't look at me. I never taught her that. I couldn't make myself sing that rubbish if you paid me.

That's what those bloody nobles at the Steamwhistle Salon sing.

Don't underestimate her. She's got a name all across the station, Mad Maggie.

Uh-uh. It's Maggie the Mighty! Back in the day, I grabbed a wrench in each hand and fought my way down from the skylights to the underground ironworks. Anyone who crossed me got WHAM! WHAM! Three days and three nights, I fought without stopping! Rivers of blood!

Wrench up, wrench down, up and down! Didn't blink once!

She picked that one up from a bunch of drunks. Nothing to do with me.

That's rich, coming from you. You're one of those drunks yourself. The worst of them, in fact.

Anyway. The point is, Maggie is more or less the boss of the kids who work up on the skylights. Bringing her on board was our way of tying them together with the adult workers.

I think I understand now. But there's still one thing I'm curious about.

With things the way they are... what leverage do you actually have against Eisenbahn? Or put another way, what's stopping him from crushing the Union outright?

Now that's a good question! Right on the mark! Lorent, go on, give her that fancy load of rubbish you always give.

...Do you know why we're called the Screwdriver Union?

I do, I do! Coney told us! You were named after some genius engineer from the Alchemy Academy, right? The one who even improved Phoxichor engines!

Then Coney gave you the basics. That engineer died not long after founding the Union, but his knowledge didn't die with him. Before he passed, he taught the workers what he knew. They passed it down from one generation to the next, and we still carry it today.

Ohhh, I get it~ So you know things about Phoxichor engines that Eisenbahn doesn't!

Exactly. We rely on Eisenbahn for our wages, but Eisenbahn relies on us to keep his Phoxichor engines running.

That's the balance we're trapped in. He can work us to the bone, but he can't afford to drive us away completely. We can push back, but only so far. At the end of the day, he still controls the work we need to survive.

Tch... bunch of cowards. If you ask me, we should grab our wrenches and smash every one of Eisenbahn's house dogs.

Now that's a plan I can get behind.

...Before anyone starts swinging a wrench, there is something else we need your help with...

Me? Again?

Sorry, but yes, again. One of our people has gone missing. He's the current keeper of the Screwdriver Union's engineering know-how. Everyone calls him the Sleep-On-It Zen Master.

The Sleep-On-It Zen Master...? How do you even end up with a name like that?

Because the man's an idiot. Ask him a question and he'll never answer you on the spot. He'll go home, sleep on it, then come back the next day as if the answer came to him in some grand bloody revelation.

He calls it Zen and the Art of Locomotive Maintenance. I think he just wanted an excuse to go drinking.

Funny thing is, he only got into all that Zen nonsense after a night out drinking with some Starweavers from Huaxu. Pinched the whole idea and started acting like it was his life's philosophy. Load of rubbish, if you ask me.

Anyway. He's gone missing, and we need someone to find him. Our last lead points to one of the foremen, so...

...Right. As I said, our last lead points to one of the foremen.

Truth be told, he's one of Eisenbahn's lapdogs. Start digging into him, and you're practically picking a fight with Eisenbahn himself. Especially since they know every face in the Union.

Under the circumstances, an outsider is our best option. A fresh face. Someone who won't be staying at the station for long.

Exactly! But you're right. You've been helping us all this time, and you're not even one of us. So I've decided, you can have my title. From now on, you're Chairman of the Screwdriver Union!

You little menace, knock it off!

Fine, fine. I'll help you.

You know, there's a reason I keep turning to you. People like us learn not to expect kindness from anyone. But somehow, you still have some to spare.

Pff, save it! That's exactly what people say when they're trying to sweet-talk you into more work! So lame!

Exactly! See? Even the Luno sees through you, Lorent. You're a jerk.

Yes, yes, I deserve that. And you're right, it's not fair to keep asking you to do this on your own. So this time...

Kroger is coming with you.

We're back here again...? Haven't we been running in circles through this place all day?

Pff. I've been running in circles round here for years. Keeps life interesting, doesn't it? New faces every day.

Really? They all look the same to me. Tired.

Let's stay focused. Which one is the foreman Lorent wanted us to talk to?

Easy. Look around. See the bloke strutting about like he owns the place, with that smug grin you just want to punch off his stupid face? That's your foreman.

...That does narrow it down.

Work here a few days and you'll stop smiling too.

So how are we supposed to ask him about the Sleep-On-It Zen Master? Play the sympathy card again? I'm ready!

The sympathy card? On a foreman? Now that's funny. The workers here are miserable for real. Foremen hear sob stories all day long. They won't blink at your little act.

That said... I've got an idea. Might be a bit risky, though.

(How should we go about this?)

If these foremen are all Eisenbahn's men, then we'll act like Eisenbahn's biggest admirers.

Admirers? Of Eisenbahn? How'd you say that with a straight face? Ugh... now you've got me thinking about it. Makes my skin crawl.

Do you know this foreman's name?

His name? Olaf.

Olaf... Right. Snow, let's go.

Let's hear it. We're not scared of a little risk.

Hah. Got some guts, I'll give you that. Fine, then I'd better not disappoint. Here's the plan: we rough him up till he talks. See that spot over there?

Where?

Right there. That spot. Here's how it goes. I'll shout when it's time. Then I act drunk and kick up a fuss. I jump you, you scream for help and run over there. Make enough noise to catch the foreman's eye and draw him in.

...Jump me?

Pretend to. Don't get precious. Make sure to make a racket, and get the foreman looking this way. Soon as he comes over... we jump him.

...Jump him?

Yeah. You two really are friends, aren't you? Even say the same things. Anyway, that's the plan. Let me know when you're ready.

Excuse me, sir.

Hm? Who're you? Don't think I've seen you before. You don't work at the ironworks, that's for sure.

No. But I know who you are. Olaf, one of Mr Eisenbahn's most trusted foremen.

You know my name? Wait... Don't tell me I've finally made it into one of the Steamwhistle Salon's rankings. Which one was it? Employee of the Year? Stationmaster's Favourite?

Ahem. Well... either one would make sense. I have been doing excellent work lately. Come to think of it, Mr Eisenbahn has been trusting me with more and more important duties...

Exactly. You're quite the name at the Steamwhistle Salon these days. Some people are even saying you might replace Mr Eisenbahn's current adjutant and become his new right-hand man.

That's right! We're here to interview you! The Steamwhistle Salon never misses a story about Mr Eisenbahn!

Oh, you're too kind. I wouldn't dare dream of replacing his adjutant. Employee of the Year, though... Well, that's certainly possible. So you're from the Steamwhistle Salon? Then you must be...

That's right. And if you answer our questions, we'll make sure the right people at the Salon hear about it.

Oh, of course! Absolutely! Ask away! I'll tell you everything I know.

Oh, nothing terribly important. Some of the workers have been getting sticky fingers lately. A few days ago, we caught a petty thief sneaking into the infirmary.

The Stationmaster ordered us to keep him locked up in there and make sure the Screwdriver Union didn't hear a word. Naturally, I was chosen to oversee the matter personally.

That's right. The thief's name is Hugh. Quiet fellow, normally. Never causes trouble. Maybe he'd had too much to drink that night. Anyway, he broke into the infirmary and started poking around before a patrol caught him red-handed.

We checked with the doctor on duty afterwards. Nothing was missing. Otherwise, he'd be in far worse trouble than he is now.

Oh, come now. The Steamwhistle Salon must know that much already. The Screwdriver Union is always making trouble for the Stationmaster. And now we've caught one of theirs red-handed. Naturally, the Stationmaster means to make use of it.

Though lately... well, you know how it is. We have someone important at the station, and the Stationmaster has been rather occupied. Once things settle down, I imagine he'll use Hugh to put the Union back in its place.

It seems Mr Eisenbahn really does trust you. Leaving such a delicate matter in your hands... I may have to move you up a few places on my list of his most capable subordinates.

R, Really? You mean that? Thank you! Thank you very much! I'll work even harder from now on! Please put in a good word for me!

You've been very helpful. That will be all for today's interview.

Of course! Thank you for your time! See you around!

Little Minion, why would you agree to a plan this stupid!?

AAAAAAARGH! Sod this job! I'd rather be having a beer than breaking my back here! You! Yeah, you! Foreman! This is your fault! I'm gonna kick your arse!

Help! He's really coming after us!

What's going on here? Had too much beer and lost your mind again?

Now! Get him!

Nice punches, Little Minion!

Ugh... That wasn't the plan.

If I'd really been trying to beat you up, you'd be on the floor with him.

Urgh... My head... My arse... Have you all lost your minds!?

Huh? Wait... Aren't you our foreman? Why are there three of you? You got twin brothers or something?

Kroger! Drinking on the job again, are you? You really want your pay docked this time? I'm telling you, even if Lorent comes begging on your behalf, it won't do a damn thing. You asked for this.

Nah. Don't like that answer.

Stop it! Stop! Why do you always get like this when you're drunk!?

Mmm... Your twin brother's talking to me... Hmm? Now your twin's got a twin too...

You drunken bastard. You hopeless bloody idiot. And you, who the hell are you supposed to be? You hit me too! Don't think I didn't notice! You work here? I'll remember that face!

Suit yourself.

Don't get clever with me! You'll regret this!

Where's the Sleep-On-It Zen Master?

Sleep-On what? What are you talking about?

Oh no! Little Minion, nobody told us his real name!

Hugh! One more drink! Just one more! Hugh! Where are you going?

...Where's Hugh?

Wait... You lot are in on this too? You're working with that thief?

What? Hugh is a thief?

What is wrong with you people!? You beat the hell out of me, and now you're acting like you don't even know what's going on!? Did you lot hit me for nothing!?

Cut the crap. Where's Hugh? Tell me, or I'll hit you again.

All right! All right! I'll talk! Don't hit me! Hugh snuck into the infirmary a while back, middle of the night. Tried to steal something. We caught him red-handed.

Nothing was missing when we checked, but the Stationmaster said to keep him there unless someone came looking. So he's been tied up in the infirmary ever since. If you want him, that's where he is.

Huh? So they tied him up and just... waited for someone to come looking?

Stationmaster Eisenbahn wanted him kept there. We were just following orders. I've told you everything. Can I go now?

Get lost.

Heh heh...

You enjoyed that, didn't you?

Heh heh... Maybe a little. Come on. Let's go.

Back when Lorent said there was something special about you, I thought he was talking rubbish. Now... I think I see what he meant.

What is it, kindness?

Pff. None of that crap. Can't tell you what it is. I can barely read, and I don't have the fancy words for it. Just... something. And it sure as hell isn't kindness.

I know what it is! Vita has amazing fighting skills, and I have a very smart brain! Together, we are invincible!

Heh. Whatever it is, it's got nothing to do with you.

Hahahaha! Look at you! Trussed up like a chicken!

Mmph! Mmph-mmph! MMPHHH!

What's that? Couldn't quite catch it. Hahahaha!

Aww... poor guy. Little Minion, let's untie him first!

Hah...! Oof... Finally. I can talk again!

Sleep-On-It Zen Master? More like the Hungover Zen Master. Hahaha! You've really outdone yourself this time, haven't you?

So, what happened? How much did you drink before you got yourself tied up in the infirmary?

I wasn't drunk... Why would I be drunk?

Rubbish. Nobody ends up like this sober. Never mind. You can explain yourself once we're back at the Union.

No! I can't! I can't go back to the Union!

...What?

Anywhere else is fine. Just not the Union. Not right now.

Did they knock something loose in that head of yours? You're the Sleep-On-It Zen Master. Everyone's counting on you to keep those blasted locomotives running. If you don't go back, what are we supposed to do?

No... I...

Spit it out already, for f***'s sake!

Snow, cover your ears. That was rude.

Too late. I already heard it...

I... I don't deserve to be called the Sleep-On-It Zen Master. It was all rubbish. I'm a fraud... It was all because of the book. The Maintenance Manual!

What!?

Wait. I thought you inherited the founder's techniques.

"Inherited" makes it sound far grander than it was. Sure, some of the veteran engineers taught me a few things, but I never paid proper attention. Then I found that manual. It had answers to nearly every common mechanical fault you could think of.

So I thought, why bother learning the principles? Why crack my skull over measurements and adjustments when the answers were right there? Whenever something broke, I'd look it up, follow the steps, and there it was. Problem solved.

Wait... So all that "sleep on it and find enlightenment" stuff... was just you going home to check the manual?

Exactly! There were several of us apprenticed under the veteran engineers. They all knew I had no head for machinery, and no one expected much from me. But one by one, the others left. And somehow... somehow the only hopeless case was the one who stayed.

I couldn't exactly tell everyone the truth, could I? So I made up that ridiculous Zen Master story. Whenever someone came to me for help, I'd say I needed to sleep on it. Then I'd memorise the problem, go home, dig through the manual, and come back the next day with an answer.

Oh... So that's what was really going on...

Book or no book, I don't care. You kept the machines running before, didn't you? Then you can keep doing it now. Come on. You're coming back to the Union.

No! I can't! I can't go back!

Why the hell not!? What's gotten into you!?

Calm down, Kroger. I think I know what this is about.

What?

Sleep-On-It Zen Master, or should I just say Hugh? The thing you tried to steal from the infirmary... it was the Maintenance Manual, wasn't it?

Ah... hahah... I suppose you figured it out.

We searched everywhere, but there's no sign of the manual!

I tore the infirmary apart before they tied me up. That snake of a doctor must've hidden it somewhere!

And what makes you so sure of that?

Because the other day, I woke up in the infirmary with the doctor standing over me, smiling down at me and asking if I felt all right. I didn't dare say a word, so I bolted the first chance I got. When I made it home, the manual was gone.

Nobody knew where I kept it, unless the rats in my room suddenly learned to read. So no one could've taken it from there. I must've had it on me when I went out drinking.

Could someone have taken it before you got to the infirmary?

Right! If the doctor had found something that important on you, wouldn't he have reported it straight to Eisenbahn?

And if Eisenbahn knew about it, would his people really have left you tied up in here? They'd have been asking where the manual came from and how you got it.

Good point... Snow, that was clever. Surprisingly clever.

What do you mean, "surprisingly"!? I'm always clever!

They're right. Every time you get drunk, you lose your damn mind. You need to do something about that.

Oh, you're one to talk! You start picking fights the second you've had a few. That night, I was looking for you, actually.

Me? What for?

Last time you got drunk, you beat me black and blue. So I thought maybe... if I had a few drinks in me... I could...

What? Get drunk and settle the score?

That's not the point! This is your fault too! If you'd come drinking with me that night, none of this would've happened!

Piss off! You're begging for another beating, you know that? I ought to...

Enough.

Hehe~ Back at The Asphodel, whenever two customers looked ready to start swinging, Camilla would stick a knife in the chair between them and tell them to behave.

Violence isn't going to fix this. Let's focus on the manual. If the doctor didn't take it, maybe you dropped it somewhere else. Do you remember anything?

I don't know... I don't even remember where I went that night. The whole night's a blur.

I have an idea!

It had better be a good one. I'm in a punching mood.

Lay one finger on me and my Little Minion will flatten you~ But the Demon King is feeling merciful today, so I'll let that slide. If Mr Hugh lost the manual while he was drunk, why don't we retrace his steps from when he started drinking?

That... might actually work.

Maybe. But I can't promise I'll remember much. My memory's never been great.

We'll take what we can get. Not like we've got a better option.

Snow, this is rare.

Hm? What is? What's rare?

Two good ideas in one day. That has to be a personal best.

Three bottles of Rustgut and one bottle of rough spirits. Your usual, right? If that's not enough, I'll fetch more.

Should be enough... Unless you're drinking too.

And if I get drunk, who's supposed to get anything done? Less talking, more drinking. If that's enough, get on with it. Not like you're much use for anything else.

I'm useless? I'm the Union's Sleep-On-It Zen Master. You're the one who's good for nothing but drinking and picking fights. In fact, this whole mess started because you got drunk and beat me up last time...

Everyone in the Union knows I start swinging when I'm drunk! You're the idiot who picked a fight with a drunk and lost! Now stop yapping and drink, or I'll knock your teeth out.

You brute! Rabid dog! Violent lunatic! I'm not wasting another breath on a savage like you.

Can these two get through a normal conversation without starting a fight?

Guys, remember why we're here?

Those inner-city toffs always want something to nibble while they drink. We've got no snacks, so we'll make do with conversation.

You mean a little chat? Ooh, sounds fun! What should we talk about? Little Minion, you pick!

Ha! Life down in the ironworks is grand. Every day, we clock in with big smiles, bright eyes, and hearts full of hope.

Best part is after work, of course. A few mates round a table, drink in hand, talking about how grand our lives are. Nothing better, eh, Hugh?

Heh... You're either joking or you've lost your mind.

You think so? Sounds like your everyday to me. You wander into the ironworks, sort out a few little problems, then wander straight off to the tavern. Get blind drunk, wake up the next day, and there's still a line of workers coming to you, hat in hand.

Could you not make it sound like I had it easy? Do you know what it's like, everyone calling you "Master" when you know you're one question away from being exposed as a fraud? Every day, I was terrified someone would ask me something the manual couldn't answer.

That's on you. Should've learned the trade properly in the first place.

You...! Ugh, forget it.

Mine or his? Nothing worth hearing about me. Hugh, though... weren't you chasing that bakery girl for a while? What was it you did? Love letters? Flowers on her doorstep?

You've been here, what, a few years now? Must've fallen for half the girls at the station by now. Ever actually got anywhere with any of them?

What would you know? It's hard enough just scraping by here. Romance is something you worry about after you've got your life in order.

Ah... wait. That's right. You did have a girlfriend once. Why'd that end again? Oh, right. You kept throwing her out of your room every night.

Do you know how cold Icelake gets after dark? Sending a girl out into that is practically attempted murder.

That's because...

Never made sense to me before. Now it does. You had to read that manual in secret every night, didn't you? Couldn't have anyone finding out the truth behind the whole Zen Master thing. So out she went. Am I right?

...

Tell me something, Hugh. Was that manual really as useful as you made it sound? Did it actually have a fix for every problem in locomotive maintenance?

More or less. For the usual problems, at least. Jammed parts, bad lubrication, routine maintenance... it covered most of what we deal with day to day. You know how it is. Nothing truly serious ever happens around here.

And when something does go seriously wrong, nobody comes to me. They go straight to Eisenbahn, that old bastard.

So let me get this straight. You used that manual to fix problems for years... and you still couldn't do without it? Hugh, you're a bloody idiot.

Hey, I have feelings, you know! How was I supposed to know the manual would disappear one day? And it's not like I remembered nothing. I remembered some of it. A little. A tiny little bit...

Right. The important bits. Like which way to turn a wrench.

...

Hugh, remember that time you and Kroger got drunk, and he beat you up?

Hic... What? I'm not drunk... I'm Hugh! Kro-Kro-Kroger... hic! That rabid dog! Wasn't he here just now? Where'd he go? I should've, hic! given him a proper beating!

No idea. Maybe he went back to the ironworks. Want to go find him?

Right... hic! Find him... make him paaay... hic!

Whoa... Look at him wobbling all over the place. Are we sure this is going to work?

He's like this every time he gets drunk. He's fine. Besides, this was your idea, wasn't it?

There's nothing here...

Hey, isn't that the Sleep-On-It Zen Master? What's he doing plastered at this hour?

Sleep-On-It Sot, more like~ Leave him. We've got work to do.

Sounds like everyone knows him around here.

Course they do. When half the machines in the ironworks have passed through your hands at some point, people remember your name. If only he'd lay off the drink...

Nothing here but rubbish!

Oi! You moron! Get up!

Um... maybe try waking him up without kicking him?

Damn it! We've been trailing this idiot across half the station and found nothing. Bloody waste of time!

Excuse me...

What? Who the hell are you?

Mr Kroger... I, I'm not here for you. I'm looking for the Sleep-On-It Zen Master. He...

No Zen Master here. Just a drunken moron passed out on the ground.

Huh? He's that far gone? He was completely wasted a couple of days ago too, but at least he could still take a look at one of our machines.

A couple of days ago?

Yeah. Haven't seen him in the ironworks these past few days. One of our machines has been acting up, and we didn't know who else to ask.

What's wrong with it? Is it holding up work?

Nothing major. Still, we'd feel better if someone looked at it. Since he's obviously in no state to help right now... would you mind coming over instead?

Us? We don't know the first thing about fixing machines.

Doesn't matter. Just go and have a look. If you can't fix it, come back. I'm going to find a bucket of cold water and wake this idiot up properly.

Stand aside! Let the great Demon King inspect the source of your suffering!

It's this thermometer. The Sleep-On-It Zen Master worked on it last time he came by, but for some reason it started acting up again a couple of days ago.

It's not essential, but we use it to check the warehouse temperature before newly delivered Phoxichor goes into storage. If it gets too cold, it can start to solidify.

Put it here. Let me take a look.

(A perfectly ordinary thermometer. Cold metal casing. Smooth, clean lines. Beneath the glass cover, the needle points to a temperature that can't possibly be right.)

(A simple spring-loaded latch. Press the small tab, and the rear casing should come off.)

Doesn't look like it opens from the front. Should we try the back?

All right! Huh? Why's the wobbling?

Ah, sorry. There's something off down here. I reported it for repair a couple of days ago, but nobody's done anything about it yet. Last time the Sleep-On-It Zen Master came by, he noticed it too.

I thought he was just swaying because he was drunk, but then he pulled something from his pocket and wedged it under the leg. Stopped the wobbling right away. Do you have anything we could use? If not, I can go and find a brick.

I don't have anything on me. Could you?

That should do it! Now, let's see what's wrong with this thing!

Looks like something's jamming the needle...

Let me see! Hmm... Oh! It's a little pebble! How did that get in there? My hands are smaller, I'll fish it out!

Looks like that did it.

That's amazing! You two must be geniuses! Honestly, I don't know what we would've done without you.

Hehe~ Easy-peasy!

Well, I'd better go and tell the foreman the thermometer's working again. Now the next shipment of Phoxichor can come in on schedule. Thanks again!

Don't mention it~ A little job like that is nothing for the great Demon King! Come on, Little Minion, let's go find Kroger and Hugh!

Hey, you're back. This idiot still hasn't sobered up properly. Any luck?

It was too easy! The great Demon King and her Little Minion fixed it in no time!

It was so simple I'm not sure it needed an engineer. If they'd looked a little closer, they could've fixed it themselves.

Heh. Thought so.

That's odd, though, isn't it?

Huh? What's odd, Little Minion?

Hugh is the only engineer the ironworks has, and most of what he handles seems to be simple problems like that. If one manual was enough to make him look like an expert, why not share it and train more people?

Whichever way you look at it, something doesn't add up.

And why do you think this idiot was the only apprentice who stayed?

You two keep answering each other's questions with more questions... I'm completely lost.

The old engineer who trained Hugh was the best we had in the ironworks. A little thing like that thermometer? He could've fixed it in his sleep. If he'd wanted to, he could've improved locomotive blueprints. We figured more people should learn what he knew, so we had him start teaching the others.

And at first, it worked. Workers picked it up fast. The talented ones learned maintenance and repairs in no time, and they got damn good at their jobs.

Then they got good enough to realise they deserved better pay. So they went to management and asked for a pay rise. Said they'd walk if they didn't get one.

And you know what happened? Bloomfield Station didn't care if they stayed, left, or starved. Management didn't want skilled workers. They wanted obedient ones. So they told them they weren't worth the money and showed them the door. In the end... Hugh was the only one left.

So Hugh wasn't the best one. He was...

The cheapest one.

Why is that the first thing I hear when I wake up? Life's hard enough. Where's the booze? I need another drink.

You stupid bloody moron! Forget the booze! Wake the hell up! We spent half the day chasing you all over the station and still didn't find your damn manual!

It's not a damn manual...! How can you even say that? That manual is brilliant. I'll never be half the engineer its author was.

Every word out of your mouth makes me want to punch something. So what now? We can't find the manual anywhere. But you've been using the thing for years. You must remember some of it, right?

I... I can't. I never thought I'd have to... I...

...I want to punch you in the...

Uh-uh! No fighting!!!

Zen Master! You're awake!

Oh, it's you! The thermometer guy. What's wrong? Did it break again?

No, no! I came to return something.

What is it?

This.

Remember this? You were completely plastered that day. Used it to prop up a loose bit. Then after you fixed the machine, you just walked off and left it there.

None of us can read, so we had no idea what kind of book it was. We thought if you were using it to prop up a loose bit, it couldn't be all that important. But one of the lads pointed out it was yours, and that we ought to return it out of respect. So... here I am.

You must be under a lot of pressure, helping people all day. No wonder you drink so much.

Him? Pressure?

No, no... I'm fine... Thank you! This means more to me than you know. This book is... it's practically my life!

Zen Master, are you crying? Ah, don't cry. If I'd known it meant that much to you, I'd have brought it back sooner. Sorry about all this.

No... It's all right... It's back. That's all that matters. Kroger, I can go back to the Union now. The manual's back!

...Well, I'll be damned. After all that running around, this is how we find it?

Well, however it happened, it's a happy ending!

I need to get this idiot back to the Union and report to the chairman. You get back to work.

Right. I'll be off, then. Mr Kroger, please say hello to Mr Lorent for me.

Sure. I'll tell him. As for you two...

Huh...?

You're coming too.

Lorent, just admit it! You're a bloody coward!

Maggie, not every problem can be solved by throwing punches. Besides, do you really think we have the strength to go up against him?

That's exactly what a coward would say!

Does anyone in this Union ever do any actual work besides fighting...?

...Maybe Snow and I should just leave. The job's done, after all.

Oh, don't give me that. You've come this far already. Besides, the Union's always been a mess. Come on.

I'm not saying another word until you calm down.

You...

Bad time?

No. Couldn't be better.

Haha... Uh, hello, Lorent...

Hugh. Good to see you're alive. Why are you soaked through and reeking of alcohol? Where did they find you? In a gutter outside a tavern? Face-down in a barrel?

Worse. The infirmary. Eisenbahn's lot had him tied up in there. According to them, he was caught trying to steal something.

See!? That's what I've been saying! Eisenbahn's doing this on purpose. He's testing how far he can push us. First he had someone steal our ledger, then his people kidnapped Hugh, what's next?

Lorent, all you ever do is back down. You keep giving ground, and his dogs keep sinking their teeth deeper into us. By the time he takes the last thing we have to fight back with, it'll be too late!

I wasn't kidnapped! I went there myself! That's how I got caught!

You did what? Have you lost your mind? Has all that booze finally pickled your brain?

No... It's... complicated. I'd have to start from the beginning...

Tell her later. I brought back the people who got us out of this mess. We only found Hugh because of them. So how about we stop bickering for five minutes and thank them properly? Maybe even celebrate a little.

Exactly! We've done so much for your Union. Surely it's time your great heroes received their reward!

Thank you so much. Without you, the Union would be in far worse shape than it already is. And after everything you've helped us with, I imagine you have a fairly clear picture of what we're up against.

As for a celebration... we can manage that. Would you stay for dinner? We'll skip the drinks, though. I don't trust Kroger not to start another scene.

We still have something important to take care of. We can't stay.

Right... Of course. You did say from the start that you wouldn't be staying at the station for long.

Honestly, I don't know how you managed to get this much done in such a short time. If every station hand here were even half as productive as you, Bloomfield would have outdone the Imperial Capital's central station years ago.

Still, if you're in a hurry to leave, I won't keep you any longer. Here's something for your trouble, and...

Here. Take this too.

This is the biggest sign of trust the Screwdriver Union can give. Carry it with you, and any Union member who sees it will know what it means: if you ever need us, we'll do everything we can to help.

Whoa. Even I don't have one of those.

That's how we do things in the Screwdriver Union. Around here, we stand by our own. You stood by us when we needed it, and we don't have much to give back. So we're giving you the one thing we do have: our loyalty.

If you ever run into trouble, just bring that screwdriver back to this station. Everyone in the Screwdriver Union will know you're one of us. Say the word, and we'll come running. Blood, sweat, fists, whatever it takes. So? That loyal enough for you?

Thank you. I'll treasure it.

Then I'm afraid this is where we part ways...

Take care. And next time you're back, drinks are on me.

So we can watch you drink yourself back into the infirmary? Hah!

Kroger! You know what? I don't need booze to work up the nerve this time. I'm going to give you a proper thrashing right now!

Bring it on, then. With those twig arms? I'd like to see you try...