Hero Stories: For You, Who Was Once My Everything

In the past, my outlook on life felt like being jettisoned onto the open seas. Without purpose, without reason, simply marooned in a dark blue abyss.

No matter the efforts made, the voracious tide would keep me adrift, allowing me passage neither here nor there.

I resented this ocean, I blamed this sea... But in the end, all I could do was capitulate. And I waited, waited for the inevitable end, when the ocean winds would tear me asunder.

However, my realization of the truth couldn't have come at a worse time, that it wasn't my life, my circumstances, that was being swallowed by the abyss, but me myself.

If only I had noticed sooner... that to live means to earnestly meander for the rightful place where one truly belongs.

Then, I wouldn't be left all alone now.

...How vain this death is... The beholder ceases to exist, and all they leave behind...are these measly mementos.

The old me probably would've struggled...watching those precious to him leave one by one, only to be ultimately left all by his lonesome.

He probably would have rejected everything, emotions, thoughts, and just holed up somewhere denying reality. He probably wouldn't even try to find a way out of the darkness he had created for himself.

But, the me now? I will run no longer. I will confront all the cards laid out in front of me and carry what burdens I must.

No doubt, I'll fumble from time to time, but I will move forward.

So, I'm coming home... To the place filled with fond memories of my mother...to the place where I met you.

There, I will begin anew...where everything began.

I chose these roads because they felt familiar, but I guess I took a wrong turn.

*crackling*

The end of this road leads off to a cliff...

*giggling* I wonder how our dear Fenris got lost?

You were so confident earlier when you said you didn't need my help finding your way!

...I admit, I thought I knew the roads back to my home.

CLINK

This trinket, it may be broken.

Oh, that's the pendant I gave you! And you've had it on you all this time. You've been keeping your promise! How noble of you.

...Because you told me this pendant would lead me where I needed to go.

There hasn't been a single moment when I didn't have it on me.

Ladiki, perhaps it's you who led me here?

Yup! Fenris, you may be good at navigating, but you're horrible when it comes to finding the important path.

The "important path"...?

Ring any bells?

...Of course it does. There's no way I'd forget.

This is where we met for the first time.

...

I'm so sick and tired of this. I can't...

If everything were to end right here...I'll certainly feel better, right?

*crickle*... *debris falling*

Watch out!

KERCRACK...! *rumbling echoes into the distance*

Phew... Just in time...

Ugh, what do you think you're...

Hey! You shouldn't endanger yourself like that!

What's it to you!? Mind your own business and get out of the way!

N-no! I'm not gonna move! It almost seemed like you were trying to get yourself killed! Why?!

Because I don't know anymore! What's the point of all this when I don't know how to live or why I even need to stay alive?

Eh, that's why you were standing there?! If it's because you don't know, then you should try to find an answer, not kill yourself!

...Why... You don't even know the first thing about me...

Get back!

!?

I remember a monster showing up that day, too. If I recall correctly, you and I were having a heated argument.

Aww, this wasn't how it was supposed to be... My awesome navigation plans...are all but in shambles...

It's all right, Ladiki. I know you only meant for the best.

Leave these miscreants to me. There's no way I'm letting them off after they put a dent in your plans.

See? I dealt with them all by myself, so something like getting back on track should be a cinch.

...Heh, it's like I can almost hear what your answer would have been.

You'd have probably said the same thing you said to me on the day you saved me, with that hyped-up rambunctious voice of yours.

Wowww! You're a better fighter than you let on!

Nice work! Bravo! Outstanding!

...Or you're that weak. Stop making a big deal out of it.

Pfft, is that so? I guess you're right!

What a weirdo... She's just singing the whole choir by herself.

Hey, you know what? Instead of trying on all that "Nature, take me away!" stuff you're so fixated on, what do you think about becoming my bodyguard?

...Feel like talking to you is going to "take me away" faster than nature could... Why in the world would I ever be your bodyguard?

You see, I'm a master at navigating! So I'll find the right path for you!

Well, I'm good at navigating myself, so I don't need your help with that.

Nuh-uh, nope! You, sir, are absolutely lost right now! That's why you wandered all the way out here to the edges of this cliff.

...Really...? In your eyes, does this really look like I'm here because I'm "lost?"

Yep, somewhere along the way, you just made a wrong turn! Think of it like a fledgling bird who's flown a bit too far from their flock.

So I'll help you find the proper path you're supposed to take! ...Can't you at least try...to live on a little longer...please?

...All that big talk about "living on a little longer" and "helping me find the proper path..." But you left me behind and went off on your own.

Ladiki, you can hear me now, right? Breaking your promise to me like that, shameful as it may be, I'll come looking for you so I can be paid back two-fold!

So wait right there! I'm going to make sure I meet you! No, I'm going to make sure I catch you!

I'll do whatever it takes...to clear up this Tree of Genesis shenanigans...on my own...

...So wait for me...please.

Don't go anywhere...and stay right there. Once everything blows over...I'll come find you.

As tough as I try to act...I don't think I'm ready yet.

...Can I really do this? Ladiki...

In all honesty...I... Without you, I'm...

Yes, I know. I will, don't worry.

Wow, Fenris! Look, this is the place you fed the beavers!

...Ugh, did you really have to bring that up...

Hmpf, you were really cold and mean to me back then, you know that, right?

...

He's by himself again. Really now, I'm beginning to believe that he's the one who feeds all the beavers in this area.

Hmm... He looks so innocent and harmless... Those rascals, why are they bullying him so much?

...Should I...try starting a conversation...? What if he doesn't want to...

That girl... She's from before. Why is she just staring at me like that? It's getting on my nerves.

Hey, why do you keep following me?

E-Eek!

...Are you...some stalker?

A s-stalker?! I wasn't following you at all! I'm h-here to see the beavers too!

What an oddball.

L-Look who's talking... Always hanging around the beavers at every waking moment! You're the weird one for running into me...yeah!

Ugh, what are you saying, you dummy?

Hmph, you're the dummy!

I'm...sorry I was so curt with you that day. I didn't mean to.

Yeah, I know. I get it.

I...should have just been more friendly and asked your name or something...

On the bright side, we started to get to know each other better ever since that day. I'm happy with how everything worked out in the end, Fenris.

...Ladiki...

Seems I'm on the right path this time.

I didn't get to see the surroundings when Fumyr kidnapped me...

Wow! Look, everything's the same as it was back then!

Our special spot!

Well, I think our definition of "special" might be a bit different with this place...

Those jerks! Are they really going to chase me this far out?!

Huh...?

Tch, me and my dumb mouth. But could they at least stop throwing rocks?

Hey, turd-for-brains! So this is where you were planning to run off to?

Kekeke, I guess this is all the half-turd can amount to.

My mom said you're a humiliation to all us Shadow Elves.

...You're in my way. Move.

Huh? Wanna try saying that again to my face?

I said move.

Haha, did you really think we'd say, "oh, of course we'll move for you, sire?" Who's gonna make us? You? C'mon, let me see you try.

...

Those troublemakers are picking on the kid again!

Hey halfling, what's got you so confident that you keep showing your face around here?

Oh! Or maybe it's because it's not confidence but stupidity? Is that why your parents abandoned you like the trash you are?

I can't believe! Those guys, really! How could they say things like that?

...Don't blame me...if you end up dead.

Wait, no, no... If you fight them now, things will get ugly, and fast. *exhaling* I have to save Fenris!

Hey, you! Stop it! Leave Fenris alone!

Yay, it worked! The magic trick that Miss Fumyr taught me...! Phew, I was worried for a second that I'd fail...but I did it this time...! What a relief.

...?! Mmmpf! Mmph...!

Kyaa! A w-water prison!

I...I'm outta here!

...It's that Ladiki again... How does she always seem to know where I am?

But I can't say I feel sorry for this guy. Serves him right.

Thave... Thave mwe... Blgbbblgblg...

*pop* SHAAA!

That's your punishment! I'll let you go this time, but if I ever see you guys bothering Fenris again, I won't be so nice!

*sobbing* M-Mommyyyyyyy!

Hey, how did you know I was here?

Well, uhm... I was kinda worried, and...whenever I hear those guys mention you...they're always out looking for you... I mean, what if you were on your way to find another cliff again...?

...Just in case you and I aren't on the same page, I'm not so helpless that I need your protection. So stop what you're doing, and just watch out for yourself.

Oh? You've gotten better at reading memories drenched in mana! Finally, you've gotten acclimated to using magic!

Ladiki, I was really glad you showed up that time... If you hadn't...I probably would have gotten into a fight with those guys and end up getting scolded by the villagers.

Hehe, so you do know how to say thanks! I'm so proud of you. If only I was actually next to you, I'd be patting your head like this...

...Kinda embarrassing.

Even that embarrassed look on your face is so adorable.

*shivers* Ugh, I-I'm just going to resume walking.

...I never thought...that I'd ever come back here of my own accord ever again...

Hehe... My bad, but I really, really wanted to come by this way.

Because this is where I first expressed my feelings to you.

Fenris, I like you!

...!? Wh-What are you on about! What in the world triggered you to say that now of all times?

Ahaha! Look at your face getting beet red!

...

What about you? Do you like me?

...!!!

Hueh? What's this, what's this? I meant that I like you as a friend, so why are you making that face?

Oh...that's what you meant.

Hahaha! Really now, you're such a dummy! You felled that tree before the beavers even got started!

To this day, I hold your words dear.

The me back then... I was so foolish to think that time would be on our side.

I sincerely thought there would come a day when I'd blurt out my feelings for you on the spur of some moment, as if I'd imagined some auspicious, opportune moment that we'd share.

How naive I was then, not realizing the considerable courage actually needed to articulate my feelings. And ever the fool, I was never able to say those words.

It was only after so much time had passed...and my heart had swollen to the point where I could no longer fathom how to proceed...that I realized I had lost my path once again.

What are you thinking about, Fenris?

...You've always been tender with me, regardless of how obtuse I could be...you always waited. Even now... Even with the way things turned out, you're allowing me another chance...

Hmm? "Another chance?" Now what could you possibly mean by that? I guess I'll never know until you tell me yourself.

...I like you, Ladiki. I...really, really did.

Hehe... Words so long overdue.

Yeah... I'm such an idiot.

But! You finally said it, right? I've successfully had my wish granted!

...Ladiki... I really hope...you would've actually felt this way...if you were here...

I've had this odd feeling that there are some words that I should be saying, but I just can't seem to grasp them. It's been lingering on my lips ever since I started following the path your pendant has been guiding me.

That's why...I'm going to say them out loud now, all the words that have festered into regret for being caged up at the bottom of my heart...

...In all honesty, I've replayed the words in my head countless times. The words that I've wanted to tell you, Ladiki... The words that I needed to tell you...

Hey...Ladiki?

Yeah? What's up, Fenris?

If I had been a bit more...honest with you...back then... If I had just accepted your feelings... If I hadn't run away like a coward...

Would things between us have turned out different?

Mmm...I think you've got the wrong idea? Fenris, you've always been honest. At least, to me.

Words aren't the only way to express yourself. The Fenris I know? Never once did I think he was a coward.

So make peace with yourself. It's not your fault.

Haaa... No... No more... I...I don't deserve to hear those words.

Is this...? Am I still longing for your forgiveness...? Even, Even though you're just a figment of my imagination... I still...

I still want to depend on you, Ladiki...

Fenris... I mean it, you've done nothing wrong.

...Ladiki...I... *tearing up*

Oh my, Fenris. I never thought you'd turn into a baby so soon, and we've only just parted ways.

...Should I just call it here...? I... I don't think I'm ready yet.

I can't. I don't want to send you off. If I can no longer hear your voice, I...

Nope, I trust that the Fenris I know can do it. You said that you'll see it through this time.

So one foot in front of the other, Fenris. You mustn't have second thought.

Do you...mean that? You want me to continue, Ladiki?

Yup, I mean it.

*sighing* Really... When it comes to you, I'm so helpless.

Even if my heart is tearing me apart on the inside...I can never seem to say no to you.

In front of you, who's my everything...I've no other desire than to give you my all.

So, you'll keep moving forward then?

Yeah, I will.

I'm almost there. This is the last corner before I arrive at my old house.

Yeah! We've finally arrived!

Hmm...? Sounds like someone's here. Brrr, I'm starting to get the shivers.

...That's...?

...Krg...ugh...

Oh... That person must have been affected by the Tree of Genesis, too...

...

*flinching*

Whenever I come across someone who's on a rampage, I can't seem to stop this clenching in my chest...

...Ladiki... All of this just keeps reminding me of you...

Kgh... KRAAA!

Ladiki... You too, you were in that much pain as well, weren't you?

...Ehehe, it'd be a lie to say I wasn't... But, even if I said no, you probably would just see right through me.

I'm sorry... I don't know what to say...

...I can't get the memory of your last moments out of my head... It's torturing...

Really, I'm so pathetic.

Eh? Fenris, this again...? You're just going to dig yourself a hole to hide in?

You remember you promised me. That you wouldn't let things like this hold you down.

For starters, let's allow those people...some peace. They're probably in a lot of pain...

Yeah... I swore to face my fears for your sake.

All right, Fenris! Let's keep up this energy!

We have to make it through this.

...I'm trying. I really am.

Then I'll be here rooting for you as hard as I can!

...And soon...the time will come when I have to let you go...

So, we made it this far.

Fenris... I actually...didn't really want to come here... I know it'd be hard on you...

It's okay. Even if you didn't intend on it...I'd have come here anyway.

This is where I said farewell to you... So how could I just ignore this place...?

Ahahaha... Uhm, so... Geez, I'm not sure what words to say...

You don't have to say anything. It's all right.

...Really...? Yeah, I guess...this is just something you need to deal with yourself...?

It is... And I'll face it as many times as I must. Because this is the price I'm willing to pay to return your feelings.

Ladiki! No, no, PLEASE...! Wake up!

...Fen...ris...?

Yes, it's, it's me... Can you recognize me?

Of course... If I can't recognize you...who else could I...

...You came for me... Kggh...! *coughing*

Kgh... It-It hurts... N-No... Kya...!

Ladiki, no, no... You have to hold on...! I'll find something, someone, anyone...! Please, please, please wake up...!

...I'm sorry... Because of me, you... Even though you did...nothing wrong...

Don't cry...Fenris...

I...just wanted...to help...you...with the Tree of Genesis...

...I'm sorry...things had to turn out this way...

Shh, shh, save your energy, okay? Ladiki, focus on staying awake. No more talking. In time... When you're better, we'll have time...so you can tell me then, okay?

Fenris...please...take...this...

A...pendant...?

Yes... This pendant...will help you find your way...so you'll be fine...even after I'm gone...

No, no, you don't understand! There's, There's no way I'd be fine without you!

*thud*

Pl...ease...Fenris... Live... Live on...

La... Ladiki...!?

Ladiki, where are you going?! Ladiki!

No! Don't leave me! Without you, I...

I can give up everything, as long as you're with me! Please, don't go!

I couldn't stop you from leaving... There's just so much...regret that I wasn't able to protect you.

It's okay... I'm okay. Don't be sad, Fenris.

For me...I don't think I regret much. Because the moments I spent with you...were the best moments of my life. Every single one.

...It's actually me who should be sorry...for leaving you the way I did... I'm sorry I hurt you, Fenris...

...Could these be...words that I "wanted" to hear from you...? It doesn't make sense... Ladiki, there's never been a single moment where you hurt me... Because to me, you were...

...Ladiki... You were the path in my life, you know that, right?

Wow, really? I guess that's at least one thing I've accomplished in life.

...I'm glad to hear that...I was your path...

Yes, and even for the coming days...nothing will change. From now, until forever. Always.

I'm back.

You're late. Welcome home.

So you were expecting me.

Of course. What, you think there's information that escapes me? Finding out that you were waddling your way here was practically a freebie.

There's something I want to leave with you.

CLATTER...

The keepsakes that Senika left behind... So by leaving these with me, I assume it's his way of saying he no longer needs someone's protection.

My, you've grown in the time we've spent apart, Fenris.

Finally stepping into the world on your own two feet.

Yep, you got it right. Thanks for everything until now, Auntie.

Ew, who are you, stranger? Give me back my old Fenris.

Auntie, I know that you've always been looking out for me.

It's kind of embarrassing to think that there was a time when I thought I was totally alone in this world. I was always surrounded by people precious to me...but it took me much to long to figure that out.

So...better late than never. I really am thankful.

Save your thanks for your mother. I only...kept up my side of a promise.

Shying away from the truth, haha. You and I are more alike than we thought, Auntie.

Ah-ahem... So, how long are you planning to stay?

I'll be leaving soon. I never planned to stay here long.

Is that so? Well, "soon" doesn't mean right now, so I assume you've got something else to attend to?

...A message to deliver and someone I have to send off...

Yep, but this is where we'll have to say goodbye... It'll be a while before we see each other again. Take care of yourself until then, Auntie.

Thanks, kid. I'll be here protecting this place until you get back, so leave your worries here and travel safely.

Yeah, I'll see you soon, Auntie.

Ladiki, I'm walking the path that we used to walk together.

Everything's the same as it was back then...this road that was home to us...

And the only difference is...that I'm on it alone.

Fenris! Fenris!

Hmm? I'm listening.

Hehe. So...are you ready?

...

...So this is it then, right?

I know that this is something I must do, but...still...

...Just a bit... Just a while more... I want to hear your voice.

Hmm, really? But it'll be a problem if you have a change of heart...

...No, it won't come to that.

Promise me, okay? That we'll smile as we say our goodbyes.

You might not be able to see me, but I can! So don't think you can trick me!

...Ladiki, that's...so like you. Even during the times when we were together...you were always watching me.

So promise me! That you'll smile!

...I'll try.

Smiling...as I say my goodbye...

Let's go, Ladiki... This'll be...our final farewell.

So, this is it...our last.

...Ladiki...?

Are you being silent so that I can muster what little courage I have...?

Is that how it is...? Just like that... Ladiki...

To be honest, this is where I finally come clean with you...

Over hundreds of thousands of times, I've imagined how I could bring you back, even if it meant laying down my own life.

Even now, if only it were possible... I want to beg you not to leave me. Even if all I'll ever hear is your voice...

Because...it still feels as if you're with me.

But...I know. I know letting you go is the right thing.

I've found what I have to do...so I will tread this path before me.

We share so many memories here. Ever since we got close to one another, we'd often come to these grounds.

Heh, you always called this place our secret base.

Is this the place that Ladiki mentioned in her letter...?

...But, where is she...?

Ladiki, I know you're there. Come out.

...Bummer... If only my foot didn't cramp up like that, I wouldn't have been caught... Ow, ow, ow... I can still feel it.

What are you hiding behind your back?

Hehe, ta-da! I made this for you, Fenris!

Ladiki's extra stupendous birthday cake!

A...birthday cake?

Well, it is your birthday today! Happy birthday, Fenris!

Is it ready yet, Fenris? Is it ready?!

...Do I really have to do this?

Of course you do! You said you'd get me anything I wanted for my birthday!

Argh, fine. I'll write it, I'll write it!

...I've enjoyed the time we've spent together, and I hope we can continue like this.

Here... Don't you dare open it.

Hmm, you're sure you wrote it properly, right?

...Yeah, you're the one that told me to write something I've wanted to say to you.

Hehe, okay. Then, I'm going to bury these right here!

Fenris, let's come back here one day in the far, far future and open these to read. Oh, I'm so excited!

This place is also...where we buried our secret letters to each other, too.

Though, I never imagined coming here alone to read them...

Ladiki, it may be a bit too soon...but you're okay with me reading your letter...right?

Fenris, things will turn out fine for you in the end. Because I'm going to be right there with you.

Way, way into the future, when you open this letter, I hope that I'm the one who's by your side.

I want to be the one who'll always be there for you, to guide you forward when you're lost.

I haven't told you yet, but...I really, really like you. I hope that we can get along for all our days to come.

*tears rolling*

Is this what you meant...? Why you left this pendant with me...? I... I...

I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have lost you like that...

There's...something I have to tell you as well.

Your voice that I've been hearing... It was all some illusion that I conjured, by using the leftover vestiges of mana in your pendant...

If I didn't do at least that...I just...I probably would have gone insane...

I know...that I don't deserve to hear your voice, but even knowing that...I had to rely on you, shamelessly.

Although I know it's not real, hearing your voice has made me feel like we were still together.

*exhale*... I used you to satisfy my own curiosity...and now my heart is riddled with the guilt knowing that...

I should've done everything in my power to keep you away from Fumyr. Not being able to save you... I, It just hurts...so much...

That's why... Everything that's happened until now...I have to be the one to finish it.

CLINK

Your pendant...I'll leave it here, so don't worry about me anymore...and get some rest.

My life that you saved...and the path that you guided me down...I won't be losing them, ever. I'll man up and show you my best.

And when everything is finally over, I'll come see you...

So...rest easy for a while.