61. Out for a Walk

I'm sorry. I was the one who asked you out for a walk, and yet you ended up being my guide.

It's okay. I'm glad I could take you here. Before I became the Holy Mary, this was a favorite haunt of mine.

I see. Nice scenery and few people. A good spot indeed.

...

...What is it?

Um, well, it's just... I didn't prepare any topics, and I have little experience chatting with people. So...

You were raised in the Church, right? Doesn't that mean you socialized with a lot of people growing up?

...But they all treat me differently than you. The disciples revere me as a saint but always keep their distance.

The pope in his rarefied position only lectures me, and the rest of the Church management is always busy with their work. Senko is the one who spends the most time with me.

Is that why you said Senko was your ''guide''...?

Yes. The Church has in place a mentorship system where the experienced teach the inexperienced the doctrines and knowledge. And Senko is my mentor.

(Considering that Vivi grew up in the Church, I wonder how old Senko is.)

And she's always taking care of me... She's like the sister I never had. What about you, Awakener? Do you have any family?

...Yes. I have a lovely younger sister, but she's too ill to travel with us. Part of the reason I chose a nomadic lifestyle is to find her a cure.

The Church knows the remedies for a lot of hard-to-cure diseases. If you think we can be of help, let me know. I'll help however I can.

Thank you, Miss Vivi.

Oh, and by the way, you looked distraught just now when we sorted out the quarrel. Anything bothering you?

, Me? Distraught?

Did I have a weird look on my face?

Well, how do I put this... There was a smile on your face, but it was tinged with sadness.

...

Miss Vivi, if you have something on your mind and want to talk, I'm here for you.

...Yes. I do have something on my mind.

Can you tell me what it is?

...We may have ended the quarrel, but the refugees and the St. Jordan citizens were not entirely reconciled. They still looked at each other with disdain and resentment.

Not only did I fail to resolve the conflict, but I also made the mistake of letting my worry show on my face...

Everyone has a right to worry, not to mention that your worry is justified.

You don't understand. I'm not supposed to have worries!

Why?

...Because I'm the Holy Maiden, and staying perfect is my job. Showing negative emotions in front of the disciples is considered a dereliction of my duties.

I failed the pope's expectations. It's bad enough I didn't solve the problem, but then I let the disciples see my imperfections...

...

If you can't show negative emotions in front of the disciples... then what about non-disciples?

Huh?

Take me for example... I'm an outsider and I'm not bound by the Church's rules. So by the same token, you're not bound by them either when you're with me.

So, whenever you're troubled, you can always come talk to me. I might not be able to make your troubles go away, but at least you don't need to act picture perfect in front of me.

Awakener...

Bottom line is, I see myself as your frien...

How did Crystal Monsters get here?! Looks like the defenses in the area need some work.

Let's get rid of them before they reach the residential area!

Luckily there were only a few of them.

Mmm... After that assassination attempt, most of the Church's forces were redeployed to populous areas. As a result, this area became overlooked.

Oh, and what were you going to say again?

Right, I was saying that we...

(...If I can't even tell her who I really am, what gives me the right to call her, someone from the Church, a friend?)

Awakener?

...We should get back. Dinner should be almost ready.

Right. I also need to report the situation here to the Holy Knights. Thank you for coming here with me. I feel much better now.

Oh, and... about your advice, I will consider it.