Lost Sword story · Event story
No Country for Old Witches
3 scenes, 161 lines
1. No Country for Old Witches Ep.1
98 lines
Oh Ethan! Eeeeethhhannnnnn!
Because something totally worth yelling about happened!
Now come on, ask me what happened! And then comfort me!
...Alright. What happened this time?
There was this little kid crying in the village.
I asked what was wrong, and he said... he broke up with his girlfriend!
So I comforted him, of course. Told him that if he works hard, he can get a pretty girlfriend like me someday!
And do you know what he said to me?!
What?
He said, "What would you know, ma'am?!"
Can you believe it?!
I shouldn't have even tried to cheer him up!
How am I a "ma'am" in any sense?! I'm obviously a cute, adorable young girl!
I mean, yeah. That doesn't really suit you.
Fufu! Of course it doesn't!
Fufu... care to say that again?
I-It's a joke! A joke! Please stop poking me with that thing!
Sigh... Even you are treating me like this, Ethan...
Now I have no choice. I'll just have to prove it myself!
......
Dian Cecht suddenly opened her parasol wide with a bright smile.
And the moment I saw that smile... a chill went down my spine.
Ethan... what exactly is happening here?
Elizabeth, who had been abruptly called, froze at the sight of the kitchen filled with ingredients.
Sorry... I don't really know either.
Fufu! Didn't I just say it? I'll show you myself, that age is just a number.
Watch closely, Ethan.
I'm going to show just how well we can get along... like real friends!
Looks like Dian's trying to bond with Elizabeth...
...to prove she's still a youthful girl.
Fufu! You should be thankful we haven't even started cooking yet!
So... what exactly am I supposed to do?
You just have to cook with me!
We'll laugh together while we prep ingredients...
And when we're done, we'll taste each other's dishes and compliment them!
Isn't that what youth is all about?
......
But Elizabeth still didn't seem to understand what was going on.
I stepped in and quietly explained the situation to her.
(Sorry, Elizabeth... I just wanted to mess with her a little, but it snowballed fast.)
(Just humor her for a bit, please.)
(So all I need to do is cook?)
(Yep. Once she's satisfied, she'll probably head home.)
(Alright, Ethan. It's no big deal... and I do owe Dian a favor.)
Elizabeth stepped up beside Dian and began chopping vegetables.
This is great. I've actually wanted to get closer to you, Dian.
And so began the "Proof of Youth" project.
I was worried at first, but to my surprise, they got along pretty well.
Ah! The ingredients I just prepped...!
Fufu! It's okay. There's plenty more over here.
Elizabeth tends to fumble a lot in the kitchen, almost suspiciously so.
But with Dian helping her along, they started to build a good rhythm together.
Honestly, I was half-expecting Dian to whip up something... bizarre.
But the reality was the complete opposite.
(Actually, this feels more like...)
A mother and daughter cooking together... not friends.
I nearly said it aloud, but swallowed the words just in time.
No way I'm getting poked by that parasol again.
Ta-da! We're done!
Wait, you made this?
Chicken stew with chunky ingredients, a fresh cabbage salad, and perfectly grilled fish...
The food looked genuinely delicious.
Fufu! Naturally. I made sure everything was nutritious and tasty.
All thanks to our teamwork.
......
But Elizabeth didn't look pleased.
Elizabeth...? Are you okay? You don't look too happy.
N-No, it's nothing.
She quickly tried to hide her dish behind her back.
Why are you hiding it all of a sudden? Did you burn the meat or something?
......
After seeing Dian's cooking... I felt kind of embarrassed.
I made steak because I remembered you said you wanted meat...
But now that I see Dian's food, it just looks so much healthier and tastier...
...Wait. So you made that, for me?
F-Food tastes better when it's made with someone in mind!
It's not like it means anything else!
I-I mean it!
Elizabeth...
Ugh..!
Dian suddenly spun around in place and collapsed onto the floor.
Now what?!
It's too radiant... I can't handle it...
A dish made for someone's taste over health... and that shy reaction to top it off...
I've been outdone. A real girl's cooking is supposed to have that kind of charm...!
I admit it... I've lost this round.
I-It wasn't even a competition!
Still... I can't let it end like this!
...Why are you grabbing my arm all of a sudden?! AAAAAHHH!!
And just like that, I was dragged out of the inn by Dian, without a clue what was coming next.
2. No Country for Old Witches Ep.5
37 lines
Bit out of the blue, but... there's someone I want you to meet.
Ethan, who is this person?
......
I hesitated. There's no way I could just come out and say "she's a witch."
She's, uh... a doctor! The one who treated me a while back!
No need to be so formal!
I'm here because I wanted to be your friend!
I read somewhere that your hobby's small talk, right? How about a nice little tea time together?
As you wish. (She actually bought that? It was a total lie.)
......
Is this pairing... really okay?
Surprisingly, their "chat" went on without issue.
Sure, I could hear Galahad's inner grumbling here and there... but only I could hear that.
Dian kept the conversation going with a cheerful smile...
Until she brought up a story about a wandering bard.
That tale? I know it as well.
It's quite similar to a bedtime story my grandmother used to tell me as a child. (Though I barely remember it now.)
The moment Galahad finished speaking, Dian collapsed to the floor.
Now what?!
Grandmother... bedtime stories... hrrrk...!
I've been defeated again...!
I knew I shouldn't have brought up books...
Now I feel like I am a grandma!
No one said anything like that...
It's not over yet...! I can't give up now!
Waaah!! I said let go of me already!!
And just like that, I was dragged away by Dian before I could even say goodbye to Galahad.
3. No Country for Old Witches Ep.10
26 linesA few hours later, we arrived in Isiel to meet with Katrin.
But her response was cold.
We were rejected before the conversation could even begin.
Suspicious... Old lady... Grandma...
After all her back-to-back failures, Dian's confidence was clearly shaken.
She brought this upon herself, sure, but somehow, her slumped shoulders looked lonelier than usual.
I couldn't help but try to cheer her up.
......
So what if there's a bit of an age gap?
Honestly, your appearance is youthful enough to pass for twenty.
Isn't that more than enough?
...You really think so?
Yeah. Most girls would be jealous of how you look.
Heehee! I knew it!
Dian suddenly threw herself into my arms.
..! H-Hey, what the?!
As thanks for being so honest... I'll let you in on a little secret.
Truth is... I don't really care if others call me "ma'am."
As long as you see me as a girl... that's all that matters.
...!
With that, Dian pressed herself even closer.
Once again, I found myself helpless against her mischief.