Part 3, Chapter 6: Cell Strikes Back

Oh, calm yourself. They're still breathing...for now, anyway.

But flee and I assure you that will swiftly change. Understand?

You won't be slipping through my grasp this time, #17, #18! Now, all three of you...come here!

I want you to walk to your doom with your own legs, so that I may feast on your power! Wah ha ha ha!

Dammit... With Cabba and others held hostage, Cell has us right where he wants...

He aims to absorb us in exchange for their lives. That's cheap coming from the foodie...

Grr! Cell, you bastard!!

Well? What's our next step?

How about this? We don't let you get absorbed...and at the same time, save our friends too!

That's the scenario we all had in mind. The question is HOW to do it, numbskull!

Okay. How's this?

...? What is it?

Shallot. I want you to fight us. Full power!

Are you nuts?!

Just why?! Of all the times to fight you guys, why now?!

Don't you think we'd resist if you tried to hand us to the bug man?

Y-Yeah, but I wasn't planning on handing you over in the first place!

If you really want to save your friends, that's exactly what you're going to have to do.

Aha. I get it now! Shallot, do as he says and put up your dukes!

What? You guys are making even less sense than usual. This is crazy!

Let's do it, #18. Shallot? I expect you to bring it!

...!

*pant* *pant* Will someone...tell me... WHY we're doing this...already?!

Hey, #17...! Don't you think that's enough?

Sorry. Lost track of time there. It's too much of fun to give Shallot a hard time.

This "desperate" fight should be more than enough as our "preparation."

...What?

...That fierce burst of Ki must belong to Shallot. He sure did try hard to "convince" those androids...

...

Keh keh keh. What do you think, Zahha? Will your hero come for you?

...Up yours!

(This is Shallot we're talking about. Regardless of how that last skirmish ended, he'll come for sure!)

(There has to be a way...)

...To turn this situation around?

...?!

Come now, Zahha. This can only end in my favor. Cease any futile strategizing.

You cannot escape. Nor can you prevent your friend from coming.

If you would prefer to exit this ordeal without any mortal wounds, I highly suggest you stay put. But...

Rrrn... Zah... ha...

Ungh...

...If you wish, I can arrange for you to crawl on the ground like your two unfortunate comrades. Hehehe!

Grr!

The only members of your motley crew who can fight me without embarrassing themselves are Piccolo and Shallot.

But with Piccolo barely alive, your chances of winning are infinitesimal!

Damn... you...!

Zahha!

...! Here comes your hero...!

Shallot, you idiot! Why'd you come?!

To save you guys! Do you have to ask?!

If you want your friends, you know what you must do!

Of course I do. I had to rough 'em up a little, but I brought you your androids...!

Damn you, Shallot, you traitor!

We trusted you...! Ungh!

Scarfing these two down will allow you to reach the "Perfect Form" or whatever, right?

You can have 'em... But gimme my friends back!

Oh ho ho... WAH HA HA HA! Well done, Shallot! Marvelous!

Want 'em? Come get 'em yourself.

Very well.

(Yes! He took the bait!)

Just what is it you're planning? I don't appreciate being kept in the dark!

Simmer down and I'll explain.

Cell no doubt sensed that fight of ours. We're going to use that to our advantage.

How?

We don't have Ki. Meaning Cell won't be able to sense what state we're in. Likewise, he won't know who won or lost.

Umm... Meaning?

You're hopeless... MEANING we pretend that we got beaten by you!

Listen. Here comes the important part.

You drag our battered bodies over to Cell, saying you've come to make the trade.

He'll come close, thinking we're spent. That's when we let loose. BAM!

So... we are taking a cheap shot at Cell. That's your plan?

Exactly. And while we two are giving Cell the nice surprise, you haul Cabba and the rest out of there.

We've done all the brainwork and the hard work, Shallot. Don't think we'll forgive you if you fail.

It all kinda feels... You know. Dirty? Isn't there a fairer way to do this?

"When it comes to battle, you better not hesitate in doing what needs to be done." Your Master's words, right?

...!

You're a good kid. Too good. Your Master knew that.

But what about you guys? Cell's been going after you all the time! You might end up in his belly!

Well, this is not my preferred place of dying.

The last thing I intend on becoming is food for that tailed twit.

I'm serious, guys! This is life or death!

How should I put this? You and Cabba... Even that loudmouth Zahha and Piccolo are members of our buddy-buddy game.

...!

Speak for yourself. I don't remember joining your stupid game.

Aw, don't be so cold, #18. I know you like these human things.

Hmph. Spare me.

But, fine... I'm in this time. They helped us save #16, after all. This'll make things even.

Then it's settled. Let's beat Cell until he throws up!

(C'mon... Please work...!)

...

(One more step and the next thing you'll be seeing is the bottom of the smoking pit we leave you in!)

(Gross. Just looking at Cell makes me wanna hurl... Do we have to lure him in this close?)

...

...You're planning something, aren't you?

...?!

This sounds too good to be true. You're hiding some secrets, am I wrong?

Wh-Who? Me? C'moooon!

(N-No good! He noticed?!)

(What do we do now? We can't launch a surprise attack from this distance.)

...Stop, Shallot! Whatever you plan is, it's bound to fail! We both know you're no strategist!

Zahha?! What're you...

Oh?

Oh? So they do have a plan?

(What is that moron's problem? Now we'll never catch Cell off guard!)

(The entire plan's botched if we don't think of something fast...!)

Dammit, Zahha! Y-You idiot!

(They're trying to lure Cell in. And once Cell starts absorbing them, they'll surprise him with an attack... But!)

Don't underestimate Cell's strength! The power of you two won't be enough to catch him off guard!

...?!

Don't do anything rash, Shallot! Hand over the androids if you value your life!

Wha...?! Have you totally lost it, Zahha?!

Shallot! What I'm saying from now on is an order! I take priority over those androids, understand?!

You can't be serious, Zahha...

Heh heh. Hwa ha ha ha!!! I see someone is VERY committed to survival.

I don't believe it, Zahha! You cowardly...

Shut up and LISTEN to me, Shallot!

...?!

And use your damn head for once!

What did I say when I left you in charge of those two?

"You never change. That's why I trust you." Remember?

Huh?

I'll say it once more. This is an "order!" So do as I say!

No matter how hard they try, the power of those two won't be "enough" to hurt Cell. Get it?!

...

Please... Understand me...!

(This is an "order..." "Shallot never changes..." I get where this is going.)

(And the power of #17 and I won't be "enough" to beat Cell, eh?)

(Let's hope Shallot caught on.)

...

Tch... Fine, you win. This is an official "order," right?

Good choice, boy. Do as you're told and everyone other than the androids lives.

Be thankful your leader is a shameless coward! Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, I'm thankful. Thanks to Zahha, I know our next play.

C'mon, guys! All of us together!

...?!

EAT THIS!

Nwrrrrrgh?!

Heh, leaving the surprise attack to the androids wouldn't have enough power. But all four of us together...

Attaboy, Shallot! You did it!

After all, I've done what Zahha's asked me, but "orders"? I don't take those.

On that note, can't you speak more plainly? I was seriously confused back there!

Moron! If I spoke plainly, our cover would've been blown! One more thing... ignoring orders is NOT something to brag about!

Whatever the case, I need you guys to hold Cell while I move Piccolo and Cabba to safety. Can you handle that?

Sure can!

Y-You...

...conniving brats!

Uh, YOU'RE angry? You put my friends through hell!

You're about to pay for that. Big time!

Time and again you make a fool of me! I'll wring the life from your broken bodies if it's the last thing I do!

Ooh. He's getting angry. And predictable.

Technically, he is a newborn baby. A damn big one. Heh heh.

Even Shallot's not this sloppy when he's pissed. Maybe life experience does count.

Don't compare me with this monster! C'mon guys, squeeze every last drop of power in you!

Hold it! It's time to switch. #17, #18. You're out!

Back already?

Piccolo, Cabba! Ah... I guess Zahha healed your wounds?

We're "out," he says. You think you can take this freak by yourselves?

Yep! We'll be more than a match for Cell with Piccolo and Master here!

Even if you androids have unlimited energy, that doesn't mean you don't take damage.

Fighting Gero and #16 had to have worn you down. Stay on the sidelines for a bit.

You're sharp. Considerate, too, despite your rough look.

Can it. I know you two all too well from the original timeline.

I also know that things will turn worse, exponentially worse, if you charge in and get absorbed by Cell... That's all!

He's right! #17, #18, hang back for now! We'll keep you safe and sound!

Hey, whatever you say. I, for one, don't mind being pampered.

Just don't screw this up.

(Tch! If Piccolo and Shallot were the only ones I had to contend with, there would be no problems...)

(But this Cabba kid is fully revived, with more power than before!)

You do know the situation's turned around, huh?

Too bad, Cell! Prepare for the end!

Tsk...!

With Dr. Gero dead and gone, there's no one left to bail you out.

I don't know why he cooked you up. Don't care either. It all ends now!

Dr. Gero, you say? Keh keh... Dr. Gero?

I couldn't care less about his ambitions! I will achieve my Perfect Form by MY will, and mine alone!

Hmph. Like hell you will!

I don't care how strong you are! Against all of us, you're a walking corpse!

Keh keh...

Solar...

Like I'll let you!

Gwrrmph?!

Let me guess. "Solar Flare"? The Cell back in my world tried the same ploy.

I'm not falling for that a second time... regardless of it being the first time for you!

Raah!

What's wrong, Cell? No more cheap tricks in your bag?

Grr...!

...?!

Ka...me...ha...me...!

Hmph. A Kamehameha? Go ahead and try it. The outcome won't change!

...HAAAAA!!!

Pfft. Moron! Your aim's totally off!

...!

Oh no! He's aiming for the androids!

(Kah ha ha! Flounder in confusion! Make yourselves vulnerable! Then, I will strike you dead!)

Not as you wished!

What?!

I might not have the brawn to go toe-to-toe with you, but redirecting a Ki blast is nothing at all!

Nice going, Zahha! I thought you were sitting this one out!

The Cell from my time was a royal pain. Having Zahha hang back just in case was a good call.

Grr... Rrnggh...!

Out of moves?

Then check and mate it is! We'll finish you off the next sec...

I don't appreciate that, you know.

Huh?! You're...

Yaaaaaah!

Gah?! Aaaaaaah!

What?!

P-Piccolooo!

H-He... He's the guy from before!

T-This can't be! He... He got Piccolo...!

Wh-What is happening?! Who on earth is this guy?! He took Piccolo down with a single shot!

Damn!

"Cell," was it? I crushed the strongest warrior in the enemy camp to ashes for you.

Now would be your chance, no? Keh keh keh...

Keh keh... Kwa ha ha ha!

Though I do not know you, I am thankful nonetheless! With Piccolo dead, this is indeed my best chance!!

Bastard! You'll pay!

Piccolo will be avenged! This I SWEAR!

No, Shallot! Stay calm! Shalloooooot!

HAAAAAAA!

Keh keh keh.

You are dying here!

Son of a... He's going for the androids!

...?!

Puh! Pwuh!

Tch!

Ugh?!

Aaah...! AAAAAAAH!

#18?!

Tsk... Missed one.

One will do perfectly.

...! No...

!!! H-He got #17...!

It's no good, everyone! Protect #17 from Cell!

Ha! I think not!

...! Outta the way!

HAAAAAAAH!

Heh heh. All is as foreseen. Your Kili is rising. Soaring! Wonderful...! Gwa ha ha ha!

I said quit your gabbing and get outta the way!

Heh heh... It appears you're all out of time.

...!

Gah...

You don't even have the power to struggle. I propose we end things here. Prepare to be absorbed...

#17!!!

And with this, I am one step closer to perfection!

Sh...

Shallot... Protect #18...for...!

...! H-Hey! What're you saying, #17? Don't give up! You can't...!

Congratulations. Becoming part of me is an honor of the highest degree, #17!

Noooooooooo!

Aren't we the ones you're supposed to be protecting?

Should we head out? With us four bad seeds together... it'll be fun, as usual!

How should I put this? You and Cabba... Even that loudmouth Zahha and Piccolo are members of our buddy-buddy game.

Foo...!

#17! No...!

Kaaa...ah! Aaah...!!

This can't be... #17...!

(Damn! Cell's beginning to transform...! We only have one choice left...!)

...Cabba, Shallot! Forget about Cell! Rescue #18 at all costs!

You gotta be kidding me! Cell, you bastard!! You...! You're...!

YOU'RE GONNA ANSWER FOR #17!!!

Shallot, I need you with us! Or do you want to lose #18, too?!

...!!!

#17 is gone... Accept it...! But... I can reverse #18's petrification with my magic. We can save her, Shallot!

If only you can defeat me! Keh heh heh!

Wh-Why are you doing this? What's your aim?!

I am not obligated to justify my actions to you weaklings. But since you asked...

Let's just say this world will be much more beautiful... when it's immersed in death and fear. Keh ha ha!

A world immersed in death and fear...?

Don't you think it's wonderful? We hail from the same realm, swordsman. Surely you have a sense of aesthetics.

You're out of your mind!

Who could possibly wish for a world like that?!

Don't waste any more breath talking to this lunatic, you two. It's pointless...!

...?! Z-Zahha?

I'm nothing like you... Outcast...!

I ain't wishing for such world!

Mark my words, scum! Your absurd plan will fail! I'll see to that!

I won't let this universe become the world in your imagination! And for that, we're taking #18 back!

Haaaaah!

Hm?!

(The swordsman has his true power concealed, too...?!)

(This isn't the Zahha I know...! He's super strong...and super pissed!)

Cabba, Shallot! Stand down! I'll take this creep!

You two move #18 to a safe area!

Y-Yes, sir!

#18!

Let's get her out of here so Zahha can...

You wish!

Gaaaah?!

No! Cabbaaaa!

Keh keh keh. Perfection is right around the corner. I feel it in every fiber of my being!

What on earth... He's changed!

D-Damn! Is this all over...?

Heh. You won't be getting away with my feast, idiots. That android is mine to consume.

U-Urrgh...

Still breathing? Heh heh... Had I not held back so as to preserve #18's life, you'd have instantly perished.

...! Haaaaaah!

Get turned into dust!!!

Heh heh heh...

I-It didn't faze him...?!

Hyaaaah!

Gaaaah?!

How wondrous! Both durability and power have been enhanced to unfathomable heights!

Keh keh keh...

I must thank you for the assist. Your timing was impeccable.

Now, perfection awaits. Back to #18...

Apologies, but I cannot hand over the woman just yet...

What?

I said I'm taking her with me!

...?! #18...!

T-To where?! Stop! My #18...?!

Get back here, coward! I ain't letting you run!

No, Shallot! I'll chase the demon! You keep Cell in check!

What?

I'm the only one who can counter his magic! Trust me, this is the only way!

But, remember, Don't fight Cell down to your last breath! I need you to buy time. When the job is done, retreat!

For real this time, LISTEN to me! #17 wouldn't want you dying for nothing either!

Grr...!

It's now in your hands, Shallot!

Dammit all! Cell, fight me!

Haaaaah!

Pah! Surely you have more in you, boy. This will hardly serve as a warm-up.

Grr... He's not even flinching...!

Let's see now... The meddler who robbed me of #18 is concealing his Ki. How tedious...!

Tch... Don't ignore me, bastard! You're not going anywhere!

Hmph. You're not even worth of playing as a toy.

Move aside and your pitiful life will be spared.

No one's moving 'cept you, freak! Six feet under the ground!

Eating #17 was the last mistake you'll ever make!

Heh heh.

... "Don't get so riled, Shallot."

...?! That voice! It's #17!

"That's right. It's me, #17." "Being part of Cell feels good!" "This is amazing!"

...

"#18 needs to absorbed as well." "Shallot, lend me a hand."

...

"C'mon, Shallot." "Don't leave me hanging." "We're FRIENDS, remember?"

Stop your ridiculous acting, Cell!

...!

...#17 would never call me a "friend." He's not that honest of a person.

So... Don't even try to shame our "buddy-buddy game" with his voice!

Hmph. "Buddy-buddy game," huh? That's some kind of bizarre faith in between you.

But if you are so determined to die, who am I to deny you?

Grrr...!

Farewell, Shallot!

Hell...Flash!

Hm?!

...

...! #16...?! Why you...

You are... Shallot, right?

Thanks to you, Dr. Gero's control protocol over my systems has been lifted.

I'm in your debt. Not just for freeing me from Gero...

...but for fighting alongside #17 and #18. I appreciate it.

Tch. Some genius Gero was. His alterations to #16 were flawed...

#16 is still a boorish dimwit, and every bit as insubordinate as before!

It's time for me to return the favor, Shallot, #17, #18...

Another weakling with a death wish, eh? Soon you will know your place, you bumbling mass of scrap!

*pant* *pant*

...

Tch... Out of my way already! #18 exists to be absorbed by me!

...Shallot, where is #18 now?

Another guy took her away...! If we don't get after him fast...

...Understood.

Leave Cell to me. You go after #18.

What? You can't take Cell solo. He's gotten way strong...

Stronger, yes. I am aware of his current power.

My calculations indicate our power to be near evenly matched.

What?!

Fwa ha ha! Evenly matched, you say? A wild and desperate claim. That's not...

Hmmm!

Gaaaah?!

What?!

...

#16 wasn't bluffing...!

Impossible! How can #16 possess such power?!

Cell, you should be well aware of how madly obsessed Dr. Gero was with this revenge...

Obedience was not the only alteration he made to my systems.

Tch... Now I see. Your power is also enhanced by Dr. Gero's modification!

Correct. And without his oversight, I am now free to utilize all my abilities to fight...

To fight for #17 and #18... That's my new directive!

To that end, Cell...you will be destroyed!

Dream on, you pathetic jumble of rusted iron!

Go, Shallot! #18 needs you!

Got it! Cell's all yours!

...#16! It was also Gero's wish that I attain my Perfect Form!

Why obstruct me?! Why defy your creator's will?!

I told you why... I have a new directive. One that I have given myself!

(Zahha hasn't raised his Ki. The battle must not have started...)

I've got his scent. This way!

Damn. He's too far away! So far that the scent's weak...

...!

This scent... Bardock?

...No! Someone must have fought Bardock! That's the scent of his blood!

(As I recall, Bardock was on the hunt for that faker.)

Someone's carrying the scent of Bardock's blood... It's... It's...!

It's him! The faker!

Is he 'round here...?!

Never forget this bitterness. It is what nourishes our strength.

(Ngh... That voice again...! Where's this coming from?!)

It will eventually come... The day when we show off our power...

(Nnghh... I don't have time for this! I need to be... getting after #18...)

For the day to arrive, we must grow stronger... Stronger... Stronger...!

(Whose voice is this? Who ARE you, dammit?!)

There you are.

...!!!

Ahh. You're finally starting to look like a warrior.

Y-You!

Not that it matters much. For this is the last time I ever look at your face...

Say your prayers, Shallot.

You'll be killed by the hands of mine!