E-Pal Wars

Master, where are you? Your Caster's looking for you!

That's... Tamamo, isn't it? What's gotten into her?

Oh Master, there you are. I've been looking for you.

Let's get going, then! Come on, come on! This way! Come on!

？！

We're going, of course, to our... H O N E Y M O O N♡

Oh, so that's all it was... What!?

Mmm! Blue skies! Sandy beaches! And a clear blue sea as far as the eye can see!

It's the perfect day for a honeymoon, isn't it Master?

...That said. (Glance)

...(Hmph)

Fooou...

Well, one or two tag-alongs shouldn't bother us too much.

Oh, how about something to drink? D A R L I N G♪

I really don't want to know, but how did this happen?

I mean, I really, really don't want to know. Actually, just forget it.

Too bad, here's how it happened! Listen up. Yesterday, I got a message from Kiyohime, my texting buddy.

I just went on a date with my Master, who is also my lover.

A lover's tryst, you could say. A lover's tryst.

"So, how are things with your Master, Tamamo... Oh. (gotcha.) Anyway, I'll text again sometime♪"

Can you believe she sent that!? What the hell was (gotcha.)? What is she saying she got!?

Kids these days... Even Osakabe-hime, who never leaves her room...

Is going on "chat dates!"

At this point, I have no choice but to act!

So I'm sending selfies of me and my Master being lovey-dovey, just to show the two of them who's boss...

So... It doesn't have to be with Senpai, does it?

That's right. She just wants to brag that she's getting along well with her Master.

？！

Oh, no! No! Not at all! It's true that I've sworn my soul to another.

Even though I don't quite remember what that person was like, or even which dimension did I encountered them in.

But that's different!

I respect Fujimaru for making a contract with an Anti-Hero like me, and with no complaints!

I've seduced countless men and committed countless sins. But if I feel this one's the one, I'll serve with my whole spirit

That is my true nature as Tamamo-no-Mae, the Caster!

Okay, so maybe "honeymoon" was going too far, but maybe you can at least call it a vacation? Maybe? Tee hee hee!

...

Sorry to interrupt, but we have enemies. Looks like this is a Lamia spawning ground.

It looks like you're surrounded? What? Your discussion's more important? Sorry.

Why now, of all times!? Geez, this is just great.

Now I feel awkward, like when you run into an old friend and you find out she's married and has children now...

...I'm going to take it out on these... What were they? Lamias?

？！

That's my Master! I'm even more in love with you now!

Now that we're both on the same page, excuse me while I give a little speech.

I will come to your aid whether you ask for it or not! The reliable Shrine Maiden Fox, Casko-chan, now descends upon the tropical seas!

Wow, it sure is nice to relax in a mountain inn, isn't it, Master?

？！

What's going on here...

Don't ask me. No idea...

Fooou...

So Master... Oh who is it, at a time like this...

Oh, a message from Kiyohime? What does it say...

"Today I went shopping with my Master, who is also my husband."

"We went to a famous French clothing store... Oh, what was its name? Anyway, there my Master bought me some Western-style clothes."

"I get so put on the spot by things like this. So Tamamo, do you... Oh. (Gotcha.)"

"Anyway, I'll text again sometime. -from France with love- Your Kiyohime"

This again! I'm asking you, what the hell is this? What the hell is this, this (Gotcha.)?

In the first place, I'm sure her partner is being tricked!

？！

Yes. It's not polite to say, but unlike me, Kiyohime can get the weirdest ideas in her head.

Tendencies for love at first sight aside, she often creates relationships in her mind without talking to the men involved.

Her imagination when it comes to these things could put virtual reality to shame. Every relationship she imagines already has marriage on the horizon.

Ultimately she traps the guy inside a bell and burns him to death. That's how she is, so I worry about her partner...

...Oh, I should've brought us lunches or something.

Fooou...

I hate to interrupt, but I'm picking up something... Yeah. It looks like we're in wyvern territory.

Again? Jeez, I just want to make some memories with my Master. Why do they keep interrupting?

This isn't fair! My texting buddy does this to me every single day!

Her texts always sound so happy! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!

？！

Wyverns, flying lizards, I don't know what you are... But how I feel on all those Sundays...

The feeling that I should do something meaningful but ends up on the couch, getting nothing done...

Then after a bath, realizing I'm already getting into bed... That dismal feeling...

I'LL TAKE THEM ALL OUT ON YOU!

...I'm actually feeling the same way. Oh, Senpai! I was joking! I-I'll do my best!

Well, I'm glad you two had fun yesterday...

What exactly was all that, anyway?

Fooouu...

Oh, Master! Trouble! Big trouble!

？！

Now what is it? Did Osakabe-hime ask you on a double date or something?

No, she's, you know, in the middle of a very cute internet romance.

The problem is the active one, Kiyohime. It seems, um... she gotdumped.

？！

Yes, apparently she got mad and started setting everything on fire.

I wanted to ignore it, but you know, she's a dear friend.

We'd both promised to enroll in that cooking class held by Benienma from Severed-Tongue Sparrow, you see.

So out of my deep compassion and love, I think Master and I need to stop her!

It's a friend's job to be supportive at times like this, right?

Though I've never met her in person.

So come on! Come on! Come! Come! With the deep bonds between us,

we shall heal poor Kiyohime's wounded heart! No ulterior motives, of course!

Oh, the shield girl is welcome too, I suppose...

I'll pass. Senpai, please try to avoid being burned to death, okay?