A Certain Love Song

Hey, Master!

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Good answer, Senpai. But the door's already open so that won't work.

What's up, guys? We've come to cause more trouble.

Oh, so trouble is guaranteed...

I want to go to America! Take me there!

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...And here we are in America.

Yay! Broadway! Let's go to Broadway, Darling!

Um... Broadway is...

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If you can wait another century or so...

Aww, I'm disappointed! But that's okay, anywhere's fun as long as I'm with Darling!

Come on, let's go!

Sorry, can you come with us for a while?

...Fine. Let's go.

Wow, it's a town! How wonderful! It feels just like a Western!

...Are there cowboys?

I don't think there are any in this era... Wait a minute. Why is there no one here?

That cry... Is that... A wyvern?

Oh, wonderful! A dragon!

...Wait, I'm sick of dragons. We fought a bunch of them at sea.

I don't know who it is, but they suck at picking enemies.

Um, let's fight them!

Right, right. Let's do it!

I don't see any Celtic warriors... I guess this wasn't their doing.

It's strange, huh?

...

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No, sorry. It's nothing.

I was just... Yeah, I was just thinking which I like better, Mash's legs or breasts.

Darling?

No, um, well, wai

Aww, Orion is such a silly person.

...He is a person, right?

I'm a person, okay!? This is just a temporary form, okay!?

Sigh. Hey, Orion?

Huh? What is it?

All these empty plains are boring me! We came all the way to America!

Sigh, there's nothing we can do.

Then let me tell you this funny story about how I met this guy's wife when she was wearing nothing but

...That's not a funny story, is it?

It's not, is... BWRAGH!

Like, sheesh! HMPH!

She just said "Hmph!"

Fou...

...Hmm? Not again! First wyverns, now what!?

Golems! Golems, I see! Fine, fine! I'll do it!

Oww...

Hmph! Where are all these monsters coming from?

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Master?

Master!

...Sorry, but don't say anything. It's better if I tell her.

?

Huh? What? Are you keeping secrets? Come on, you have to tell me, too!

...It's not a secret, but, um, well, you see...

...Basically, don't you think that all these monsters who show up in this world are our fault?

Huh?

I mean, I'm nothing special, but you're supposedly a god, right?

Even if not in your Divine Form, you still have some influence on this world.

Distorting it, opening holes and what have you...

So it's kind of obvious that weird things are gonna pour out from there

...So what? I'm not allowed to go to other worlds?

...Only where a Holy Grail War is being fought?

Well, I guess... that's how things look.

... ...

WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! No, no, no, NO, NOOOO!

Sigh, what do I do now...

I mean, I thought we could finally, finally go outdoors on a date!

Without having to sneak behind Big Brother's back!

I wanted to hold hands, and hug, and make out and stuff!

WAAAAHHHH!

Sigh...

...W-What do we do, Master? She's bawling. She's totally bawling.

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Thanks, Master. Could you help with something else, too?

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What?

Does it really matter?

Does what...matter?

Does it matter if there are enemies? It doesn't mean you and I can't go out.

Huh?

I mean, you're one of the gods of Olympus! Does a god really care if she causes others trouble!?

B-But I can't do that!

You retaliated a hundredfold to those that peeked on you when you were taking a bath, didn't you?

(Sob) You've got me there! But I was embarrassed!

Then it doesn't matter! What kind of god cares what happens to other people?

But

One more thing! ...Throw those stupid worries that I'm going to hate you into Hades or something!

It's too late! It's way too late for me to hate you for stuff like that now, dummy!

(Sob...)

...

A... A dragon! It's directly above us, and descending!

Artemis, you ready?

Yeah... Yeah! That's right! I'm a god! I'm super-duper important!

So I'm allowed to cause a little bit of trouble, right? 'Cause I'm a god!

All right! Let's do this! Orion, get on my head like always!

Sure, sure, let's win this!

Yeah!

Easy win!

Whew, I worked up a sweat!

(Pant, pant) ...I say this all the time, but fighting as a plush toy is rough...

Oh, hey! Hey! Master!

Um, I might cause a lot of problems for you in the future, but

Thanks for having me with you!

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Thanks! Teeheehee! I like you almost as much as Orion!

If there's a god you like, let me know, okay? I'll introduce you!