My Fair Lady

Oh, really? And then you came running back. How pathetic.

Yes. I am very sorry.

Hey, Cú... What should we do with them?

...What? Yeah, whatever. I don't care.

They're not kids. They're allowed two mistakes. This is their first. They're off the hook for now.

However, there won't be a third. Don't waste my time, got that?

Understood. Then Diarmuid, let's go.

Yes.

How naive! Cú, you need to be a lot more strict to people like that!

You need to be more like an animal. An animal!

No. Animals are free until they die. Unfortunately, I'm a king.

The first time, I forgive their carelessness. The second time, I praise their narrow defeat. The third time, I resign myself to the fact that they're weak.

That, I don't need.

That opinion still suits you even after falling to darkness. Your ferocity against enemies, on the other hand, does not suit you.

...So it's you.

Surely it's you who called me.

No, that would be me.

Oh, Medb, is it? What's wrong? No one to warm your bed at night? I'd be happy to oblige.

No. Rest assured that I have no issue in that area. Actually, I have a bit of news from an earlier report.

Servants aiming to "correct" this world have appeared. Enemies trying to return this nation to how it used to be.

Interesting. How audacious. Are those the ones whom Fionn mac Cumhaill and Diarmuid Ua Duibhne ran into?

If you're bored, you go. They're strong enough, they shouldn't disappoint you.

Oh, by myself?

No, they're trying to meet up with one another. So you could sneak ahead, take those Servants and

Oh, I see. In other words, pick them off one by one before they all meet up.

Acceptable. That should be simple enough.

Thank you, Fergus. When you return, maybe I'll keep you company for a night?

Hmm, oh, no, no. I'll pass after all.

I finally got my second life. It's not bad to be greedy But being celibate every so often can't hurt.

I'll dedicate all my vigor to combat. I'll let my surging animal instincts guide me.

Don't you feel the same way?

No. I won't get all enthusiastic over a battle that will end once I kill everyone.

My task is to flatten this whole nation. Minor skirmishes with foot soldiers are mere drudgery.

I'll fulfill my destined role. Before I die, this nation will become an uninhabited wasteland.

I see... In spite of that, you're quite...

Never mind. Something about friendships and hedges. Now, my queen, if you'll excuse me!

Good luck. I love you, Fergus♪

Hmph. Except for your body, you're the worst woman ever. However, you do have a sharp eye for good men!

Well, how will they react? We're up against Rama and Geronimo, right?

And that one group.

Do they have a strong sense of purpose? Of duty? Or no reason at all? ...At any rate, what a nuisance.

Cú, you've changed so much. You've become more regal.

...I'm still my old self. Everybody has moments when they're not so eager to fight.

That's just how I'm feeling at the moment.

I suppose. The animalistic side of you lusts for fulfilling battles and love.

And the empty, hollow side of you is bored of battle, and just stoically deals with things.

When summoned as a Servant, which side manifests is a matter of chance.

Admittedly, you're basically one of my creations. I'm quite astounded at our compatibility.

To be sure, I love both sides of you, Cú. I love you Really, truly.

Shut up. You're annoying.

You're so spiteful. Hehehe.

That aside, half of Eastern America has already fallen.

We've killed George Washington and exterminated the majority of the nation's leaders.

...I thought the battle was won. Who would've known that the West would unite to oppose us?

"Edison," was it? I didn't expect a mere human to go this far.

The worst thing is that they have Karna on their side.

...Fool. I told you to mow them down while they were still weak.

Look, I didn't think a mere "King of Inventions" would go this far!

I can't shake the feeling that he has some kind of backing. Something besides the Holy Grail.

Otherwise, it's impossible to explain how he can oppose us as much as he has.

...Hmm. That's alarming.

Well, I'll go and deal with him in time. Make sure our preparations are in order.

Yes, of course.

Well, Cú. Let's dream together. A dream as pleasant as a nightmare.

When we awake, I'm sure things will have moved forward. Hopefully it will be something to celebrate Hehehe.

...Ugh, I'm so depressed. Completely run-down.

Why do I have to travel to America's remote regions just to see those guys...

? What is holding you back? Did you meet them when you were alive?

Of course not. I never met such an overwhelming group when I was human.

But it still feels like we're inextricably linked. Like we're connected, but still apart, you know?

？！

Oh, I see. So that was the reason. Robin, I underestimated you.

Hey, Fujimaru... Don't pull such scary stuff out of that imagination of yours.

But that's what it sounded like he was talking about. Don't you all agree?

Who cares?

...I am ignorant of such matters. I am dedicated to my wife, Sita.

What? A "girlfriend"... Is that the name of a new antibiotic?

Oh, this is pointless! Nobody here has a sense of humor!

I think they settled down around here...

Whoa. I'm getting enemy readings, so watch out!

Okay. Master, let's go!

...Wait. Huh?

Don't these guys seem kind of weak? Well, whatever. I guess that's good for us.

Okay, let's do this!

They're weak, but there are so many of them. I wonder why they're so weak.

...Is it, maybe? No, there's no way...there's no way.

Is something wrong?

It's nothing. Let's get on with this. We're not finished here yet.

Yup, they were weak!

But they're the same Celtic soldiers we've been fighting, right? Seems like they fought something else before us

...Hmm?

Geronimo, what's wrong?

No, I just heard a weird sound

Oh, you're right. What is that... exactly?

Each individual sound is beautiful, but when you put them together, they feel murky, like mud...

It's like when you use red, blue, yellow, green, and pink paint...and the canvas goes all black.

Please wait, Master. I feel like we've heard this song somewhere.

？！

Master, the way you are ending your sentences is very strange!

Ugh. Is she still singing...

♪My heart is prickling... Romance in a box ♪A little girl's iron maiden!

♪You're so cute I'll lock you up♪ Shower you with bloody kisses and skewer you like kebabs!

♪Don't fool around! Don't fall in love ♪'Cause I'm always by your side, okay?

...

...

...

...

Oh, wait a minute. I should have ended that "okay" on a much springier, livelier note. Definitely.

Then I'd do a cute little spin, and slap my tail at the audience.

It's so fun to practice! I feel like I'm just getting more and more charming! It's great!

If I say so myself, it's scary how perfect I am... Adding all these practices on top of my natural talent... I am entering godhood!

Heh heh, just you wait, Saber. Next time we meet, I'll be way different!

...Excuse me, Master.

I believe the situation calls for you to say something that should be said.

？！

Yes. There is only one thing to say. Senpai, I have faith in you. You can do it.

Okay Go ahead!

？！

What? Who has the nerve to hurl slander at an idol?

Hey, I didn't ask to be summoned, okay!? I mean, who wouldn't want a wonderful world tour anyway!

...Well, if it isn't the Puppy and Friends!

Huh? Oh, the green mouse is also with you. What do you want?

Hey, don't remember people by color! ...So, you're still singing here, I see.

YES.

I mean, this is the ultimate entertainment hell where all the pigs filled with desire gather, and its name is

Broadway!

...Broadway?

What, you've never heard of it? It's the home of musicals! Oh, the glory of Broadway!

It's a glittering hub of entertainment! A sparkling paradise for artistic expression...

Well, this place is just a hillbilly town at the moment. It is none other than I who deemed it Broadway!

So here and there are the only places in America that are worth anything. Hehe, I can see it now.

All the pigs enchanted by my singing voice flock around me here, one after another

Eventually I'll have everything built here. My own stage, my own theater, my own cinema.

I'll reign over it all as an unscalable magical tower! The only other thing I need is... Right, a statue of me!

A super statue, 500 meters tall, faithfully capturing my exquisite beauty!

As the goddess of fresh blood, I'll raise my voice in song with a tomato in one hand and end the cutthroat world of idols!

...Could someone stop her? Please?

Hey, don't look at me like that! I don't want to! Look, uh, everyone has the right to dream!

Hahaha. Delusions aren't dreams, and with how she is now, her dreams won't come true even after a century passes.

Treating damaged vocal cords is one thing, but curing delusions is beyond my expertise.

... ...

？！

Huh? ...I am very sorry, Master.

My mind wandered off for a moment there. Elisabeth, this is our third meeting!

If you'll allow me to be frank, I believe your only audience is Celtic soldiers eager to pounce on you!

Your beautiful voice won't reach their hearts. They hear only the death throes of a hungry dragon!

...Huh?

Oh, I finally get it. Why those guys we ran into earlier were so weak.

You do? Me, too!

I get it, too.

I was getting so fired up because so many fans wanted to get near me...

Is it true that those half-naked macho men were just a bunch of fools incapable of understanding my art?

Correct! Those fellows would be quite out of place on your stage.

As a fan, my advice to you is to unleash your song at the right place and time!

In order to promote your art(istically atrocious singing), I humbly beseech you to lend us your strength!

？！

I see. I don't really get it, but I'm convinced.

Basically, you need my power, right?

Yes!

Oh... Well, I can't say "no" when a passionate fan asks me to do something.

You've passed, Mash! I, Elisabeth Báthory, henceforth pledge my microphone to your Master!

Yes! Thank you so much!

...I see. So that's how you're supposed to talk to that dumb dragon...

I had a feeling she loved to be flattered. But there's no way I could so desperately beg her for anything.

...We are Servants. Thus, once we achieve our goal, we have no choice but to return to the Throne.

...In the end, will she really have enough time to build her own Broadway?

That is to remain unsaid, Old Man Geronimo.

So, where's the next one?

We're going to pass through the eastern forest. Saber's in the town on the other side.

Right, Saber. An equal match for our Lancer here.

? You can tell your Sabers apart based on whether they're red or blue?

？！

I see, I see. Basically you're recruiting other members for me. I'm your vocalist, so...

Oh, I've got it! An assistant director, right? Lighting, seating, acoustics! Yup, those are important!

Let's go, Mash, Fujimaru. I meant to say this earlier, but thanks for what you did for me in France!

Not at all. It is we who should extend our gratitude... Thank you very much.

The Saber class is an indispensable part of the group. Let's go.

Ah! What's up with this forest? It's so big! I'm scared!

The giant sequoias in the West are supposedly even larger.

They're worth seeing once. If you're ever in Sierra Nevada, be sure not to miss them.

Wow. America's forests are amazing.

Yeah, these forests are still pristine.

There are animals resembling gorillas, too.

...Right. Those gorilla-like things... Um, where?

Over there. See. There's one waving at us. It's holding a glow stick, no doubt.

...That's not a gorilla, it's a werewolf-type enemy. And it's holding a club.

P-P-Prepare for battle! It was clearly trying to ambush us!

Oh, it's just an enemy? That's too bad. Let's finish this up quickly!

I worked up a little sweat. My Puppy, give me something to wipe the sweat off.

？！

Hey, wait! It's not right to use my Noble Phantasm as a towel!

Master, don't get carried away and try to snatch anything from me either!