Gilgamesh's Calamity

We were led right to the Royal Hall... I'm surprised how friendly everyone is...

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Yes. Although all the maidens seem to be avoiding Merlin...

So... We're still a ways away, but is that King Gilgamesh over there?

Don't make me repeat myself! The newer the information about the war, the better! Keep bringing me reports!

The harder we work, the less chance they'll have to attack! If you want to take it easy, keep fighting!

Yes, sir! We've added three supply trains to bring more clay tablets from the secretary every hour!

Good. Next. Is this today's list of shipments?

...The shipments from the city of Eresh are being delayed, eh... Did the Demonic Beasts set up a lair on the roads?

Send 20 men from the eastern barracks to clear the way. Temun can take command. It's his home. He knows it well.

Humph. Whose idiotic order was this!? Why aren't the Bašmu carcasses being sent to Eanna?

The researchers have nothing to do! This is the time to put their annoying little brains to work!

Yes, sir! I'll send them over to the Tiamat research team right away! Here is the answer from Girsu.

...! Curse that Temple Matron there in Girsu! I know there's still supplies stored in the temple of Bau!

Have them send everything to the front lines!

It'll be the end of the world if the wall breaks. Tell her food can't be taken to the underworld!

Is this the report from the astrologers? Good. They match what I observed.

The reading for the harvest season isn't bad. Give a lapis lazuli necklace to whoever is in charge.

But there's no time for them to rest! Have them read the report from the Eridu search team!

...By the way, I heard that Tabado's daughter is giving birth. Send her a sacred prostitute to aid her, along with some healthy fruits.

And pull Tabado off the Northern Wall, and give him three days' rest. His grandson's face will give him courage.

...This isn't how I pictured him from the stories I just heard... I thought he would be more...terrible and irresponsible...

He's yelling at one priest after another... I can sense how busy he is from here...

It doesn't seem like we will be able to get a word in...

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That's right. You shouldn't wait for the king to have a spare moment.

He won't wait for you either. You should say what's on your mind, even if it's a bit rude.

Especially if you believe that's the right thing to do. Now here we go...

King Gilgamesh! I, Merlin, mage extraordinaire, have brought guests!

Busy? Yeah, I can see that, so don't worry! I'll bring them right now!

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S-Senpai...! Merlin, wait!

Hmm?

So you've returned, Merlin. Welcome. The king is happy to see you.

... (Unamused)

And? Did you bring back the Tablet of Destinies as your king ordered?

No, I didn't have any luck this time. It's not in the Cedar Forest.

...Sheesh. If only you remembered where you left it, Your Majesty, I wouldn't have to work this hard.

Silence. Know your place, mage. The king just happened to be tired when he scribed the tablet.

Even I've never heard of memory loss from exhaustion, but...

...if the king says that's the case, then it must be. Do as he says and keep looking for it.

More importantly... Who are those people? They don't look like Uruks.

It's fine. I understand the situation. You may go, Siduri.

King Gilgamesh...? For you to bring out the Dingir... Don't tell me...

Just as you suspected, be ready to clean the throne! No need to worry, I'm simply sending two strangers back to the heavens!

I'm busy! Even the time I'd have to spend to exchange words with you is too precious for me to spare!

Thus, I shall ascertain the truth of your words through battle! Prepare yourselves, mages of the Observatory!

...And Merlin, stand down! Do not interfere!

That's great. I don't like to get my hands dirty. Ana, sorry, but would you give them a hand?

The king prides himself on his self-control, but let's be honest: he's not one to hold back in battle.

I mean, you prefer combat over conversation too, right? This is one of those fists speak louder than words moments!

...So I'm being forced into a useless fight again... Please die, Merlin.

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...It's all right. It's not your fault. I'll help you if you like.

The battle's over!

He attacked so suddenly that we fought back without thinking, but

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...Yes. Halfway through the battle, he clearly started holding back.

Just who does he think he is, I wonder?

A waste of time. I was curious to see what those tasked by heaven could do, but you're no more than mongrels!

You are unworthy of my help, and unfit to serve me!

You aren't even worth punishing for messing up my throne room! I'll let you go this time, so begone!

Your Majesty, please, calm yourself... They seem like powerful warriors to me...

Are they the strangers you spoke of?

Merlin brought them here, so yes, they probably are. But... it's too soon. Far too soon.

See that stupid look on his face? Still not a clue what's happening here.

There's no point in talking to them. Merlin... It seems you let yourself get distracted.

Hmm... For some reason, this is turning out to be my fault. Do you have anything to say, Fujimaru?

At this rate, he really will kick you out of here.

I don't care. It's not worth learning your name. Begone, scum.

You fool! Why are you having your Servant do the talking!? This should be the time to show who's the reliable one here!

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I-I didn't expect things to go this bad...

What's going on, Merlin!? The king doesn't seem interested in Chaldea at all!

Hmm, you're right. That's strange. I thought he and I were on the same wavelength there.

I mean, I didn't tell him what Chaldea was. Or what a Servant was.

Or about the Incineration of Humanity, or the King of Mages, or the Grails, or the Singularities, or any of that stuff.

But you know, he should be able to figure that out, right? He's a king, after all.

Y-you didn't tell him anything, then!?

And you're the one who said he was really busy, right!?

Oh, hmm. You're right! Oops! I should've explained things, huh?

Yes! That's Merlin for you! Totally useless!

Now you're our only hope, Fujimaru!

Let's try persuading King Gilgamesh once more! Even he'll understand if you explain properly!

There's no need for that. I can hear you, concealed one.

Know that I am capable of all things, and so possess all knowledge.

Thus, there is nothing my eyes cannot see! Though as you can see, I've yet to fulfill my destiny...

I am aware of the process of summoning and commanding Heroic Spirits... What you call "Heroic Spirit Summoning."

...And that my name is on the list of those "Spirit Origins" that you possess as well.

Humph. Well, that third-rate Master there probably lacks the power to summon me.

Perhaps, one day...

King Gilgamesh is from this era. But even though Merlin never told him,

he knows all about Chaldea, and the fact that he's going to become a Heroic Spirit!

Which makes it even more important that he listens to us...!

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Yes, that's right, Master! Hear us, King Gilgamesh!

If we don't recover the Grail that's somewhere in this era, the Singularity will destroy humanity.

So we need to find the Grail as fast as possible... The Grail...

What's wrong? You're after the Grail, aren't you? And...?

I'm detecting the Grail! I had a hunch, but it looks like King Gilgamesh already has it!

Of course. All the treasures in this world belong to me. I obtained the omnipotent wish granter a long time ago.

That's probably what the Three Goddess Alliance is after. Otherwise they'd have no reason to attack Uruk.

And don't you dare ask me to give it to you.

There's no reason for me to give you any of my treasures.

So, if you ask for the Grail, be prepared to give me more than just your life.

That's...true. We don't have anything to offer in exchange...

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...Heh.

Fwahaha! Hahahahaha! Hahahahahahahahah!

Defeat them? You're going to defeat those goddesses? Siduri, bring me water! My life's in danger!

These fools may make me laugh myself to death! Merlin brought me the future's greatest clowns!

...

Heh... Wow, that was a good one. I'll put it down in the court records. It'll say, "The king is in great abdominal pain."

But knowing everything, I say this: I've no use for you right now.

You are all contaminants to this era. Rather, you're an excess. I'd go so far as to say you're unnecessary.

Uruk is mine to protect. I do not need help from Chaldea.

The heavens may fall and the earth may split, but this audience will be the last time I speak to you.

Listen. Do not think that you can beat those goddesses with the pathetic pawns you possess.

Forgive me for interrupting your pleasant chat, my king!

Does this look like a pleasant chat to you!? Are you blind!?

Huh? Oh, uh... We just heard your laughter echoing throughout the ziggurat, and assumed you were having a good time...

Fool! Don't you know that, at a certain age, one can laugh at the drop of a hat? ...No matter. What is it?

A message from our observation post near the Tigris!

They've sighted the wake from the Boat of Heaven in the sky! It's heading for Uruk at high speed!

It's Ishtarone of the Three Goddess Alliance members!

(Sigh) That fool again? Does she never learn?

Or is she so stupid she can't even remember what happened a day ago? No, I doubt that moron can even manage to remember what happened 12 hours ago!

...Ahem. Your Majesty, please refrain from insulting Ishtar.

She is the patron deity of our city. Even as king, you shouldn't blaspheme against her so carelessly.

When you speak of her like that here, it makes matters difficult for the Sacred Temple...

Don't concern yourself with such matters! Has she ever protected the Uruks from anything?

She destroys things that don't need to be destroyed, and creates things that don't need to be created!

She's a cross between a horde of locusts, a sandstorm, and a child's tantrum!

She's probably going to accidentally destroy Eannaher own homeagain, and then run crying to An!

Humph. Of course, An vanished long ago. Even her father's given up on her. She got what she had coming!

That girl's going to end up all alone, crying and crying until she finally dies of exhaustion! Fwahahaha! Revolting!

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

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Is that Ishtar...!? Retreat! Everyone, retreat! She's gonna smite us!

Emergency! Priests, prepare the special prayers! You are permitted to use them on our patron goddess!

...I didn't think you'd head straight for the throne room. You're like a gossip-loving city girl.

(Senpai, His Majesty is making "Shoo, shoo!" motions with his hand and looking genuinely annoyed!)

You're the one who's acting like a brat! I've had enough of you insulting me behind my back! Now I'm mad!

I was planning on killing you slowly and elegantly to make you suffer, but I've changed my mind!

You're going to pay for all these years of making a mockery of a goddess! Now diiiiiie!

Ishtar is readying her heavenly bow! Good luck, my king! We're retreating!

What, you're not going to watch? No need to be so humble. This is your chance to see the mythological sight of a nasty young goddess meeting her end!

No, it wouldn't be worth getting cursed for generations just for having watched! Good luck!

Humph. Hilarious. Even your soldiers have abandoned you! That's what you get. Your bad deeds finally caught up with you! Your deeeeeeds!

I see... When I hear that from you, it really makes me think.

This cretin is calling ME the worst. Huh, perhaps I should look back on my life and reflect a bit.

Excuse you! I'm a damn goddess! Rethink your words!

It's hard to believe that a king and goddess are exchanging insults like that. ...Huh? But Senpai, isn't that girl...

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Who just said that even more rude thing...!? ...Wait, I know you, human...!

Oh? Have you run into this goddess before? Oh? Oh? And it seems she ran into trouble.

Fwahahahahahahahahaha! Hilarious. Another tale of glory to add to Ishtar's myths, huh?

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Oh, you're waving at me and saying hi like we're friends? You don't understand the situation at all, do you?♡

That means I can do this with no regrets. You've destroyed the last of my conscience.

I don't want weird rumors going around, so I'll kill both you and Goldie Boy over there!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

Excellent! Now this is getting fun! For a brief while, I shall permit you to fight alongside me!

Let's go, Chaldeans! Time to slay a goddess!

Let's teach this wanton, spoiled, daddy's girl of a goddess a lesson!

Tsk...! Spoiled as you are, you're still a goddess! Regular magecraft won't even graze you!

And what's more, you're holding back your Authority! There's a limit to my patience, Ishtar!

Right back at you!

I hold back my Authority for the sake of Uruk, not because I'm considering your safety!

Oh. Now I'm even pissing myself off.

Why should I care about Uruk when it's not even mine anymore?

Okay, I don't care anymore! I'll blow you up along with the ziggurat

...Hm? You there, human. Who's that hiding behind you?

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...

...So that's what's going on. Things are getting complicated.

Ishtar is rising! Is she... retreating?

I changed my mind. I only came to pick up my pillow for my bedchamber in Eanna anyway.

Astonishing. Ishtar, of all goddesses, is running away with her tail between her legs?

What are you talking about? I just dropped by while I was out for a stroll.

I freely overlook Uruk, freely pluck my bow, and freely ravage the lands.

See you, oh shirtless King of Uruk. Have fun with the Demonic Beasts up north.

And Siduri. When Gilgamesh dies, it's not like I won't save Uruk, so keep a white flag ready.

A white flag? What do you mean...?

Tch... She's cooled down. What an annoyingly lucky woman.

Just a little more and I would've had the anti-Ishtar net launched... Curses.

It seems so. As long as Maanna, the Boat of Heaven, is around, it will be difficult to capture Ishtar.

Well, fine, let's get back to work. We've lost a lot of time. Let's work harder, Siduri.

Yes. We shall resume planning to flood the Tigris River.

There has been a suggestion that we use red clay as new soil

They've restarted their work as if nothing happened... What should we do, Senpai?

Ishtar's attacks must be a daily thing. The soldiers took their time about coming back.

Hmmm, there's not much we could do now. Let's go find a place to stay for tonight.

The king is moody, so maybe he'll listen to you guys tomorrow.

I will not, you nitwit. Uruk is in unprecedented danger. I've no time to deal with your Chaldean field trip.

That's quite a burn.

These guys have already corrected several Singularities; they're practically professionals at restoring history.

Aren't you a bit overworked? Why don't you try trusting a third party for once?

There's no need. Any disaster caused in this era will be solved by the people of this era.

If they are needed, they'll be brought in later. And Merlin, remember who you are contracted to.

I'm the one who summoned you, not Chaldea. As such, you should be working only for me.

Err... It hurts me to hear that. Ah well, it's not as if I have much of a heart anyway.

Wait, did you just let some important information slip!?

You weren't summoned by the Ritual Sect, but by King Gilgamesh!?

Oh. I thought that was what I said. Yes, Gilgamesh is a wise king. He shed his warrior persona to become a mage instead.

To protect Uruk, nay, the Mesopotamian world, he sheds his holy blood as a mage,

He has become a more reasonable, regal, reliable version of King Gilgamesh!

...Unwillingly, that is. I can't fix this disaster with my strength alone.

I must protect my people, borders, and our way of life... I must fight with all of Mesopotamia.

That is why I locked away my treasures and took up a staff. Summoning that half-blood mage there was also part of the plan.

This is the real Heroic Spirit summon, unlike the summons of Chaldea.

Really... Well, now I've lost a bit of confidence...

Even if you're an ancient king, to be able to summon Heroic Spirits that easily is so...

It'd probably help to mention that this is the end of the Age of Gods. Summoning is much easier here than in your time.

Now, if we were in the 21st century, with magecraft diminishing, even the king or I wouldn't find it easy to summon a Heroic Spirit.

So there you have it. Your actions are utterly arrogant,

but that summoning system was created with talent equal to godly skill. I will not mock the effort, research, and miracles put towards it.

That, and the shred of hope it offered you. HumphYou have done well in the first six Singularities.

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However, those eras are not this one. I do not need you all.

If you still say you want to assist me, you may do so by working your way up from the bottom.

High Priestess! I put you in charge of them! It may be a pain, but take care of them!

...So, we've been driven out of the ziggurat.

What shall we do now, Master...?

Do not worry. I shall oversee your stay here for the time being.

Ah, where are my manners? I am Siduri.

I assist the king as well as manage the Ritual Sect.

Oh... How embarrassing. So you noticed. I didn't understand what Ishtar meant by that earlier...

A white flag... I see. So it is a sign of surrender in your country...

...You may perhaps be from the same country as the girl who became Ishtar's vessel.

I'm pleased to meet you too. We welcome you all, guests from Chaldea.

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I never imagined Ms. Siduri would be taking care of Fujimaru.

This means my work here is maybe done? Yup, that would help me out so much!

Now I have time to peruse the markets! I heard Uruk's ale is to die for!

...Huh. I am sure you know already, but Merlin here will not be of much use to you.

Therefore, I shall give you some advice.

The king has said you are not needed. However, he did not use the words "worthless" or "meaningless."

Therefore, if you would like for the king to listen, having some noteworthy achievements would be helpful.

When you say "achievements"... Do you mean the Demonic Front? Like defeating the beasts that threaten Uruk?

No, that would be the soldiers' job. For you... Let's see.

Go and help with the various jobs in the city. I believe the king would want that.

So, basically you'd be a jack-of-all-trades. I will go and make the job arrangements for you.

First, I shall guide you to your private lodge. Please come with me.

Th-thank you.

But, um... Why would you go that far for us?

Setting aside King Gilgamesh's opinion, I'm sure we are suspicious foreigners to you.

Because the king ordered me to take care of you. It's not often he says something like that.

I cannot understand yet, but you must be worth at least that much to him.

Therefore, as his assistant, I shall trust in his word.

Please lead a righteous life, one even an incompetent being like me would be able to understand. That shall be my reward as well.

That is how this country runs. We don't have many resources, so there isn't much in the way of entertainment.

For Uruk, ale, sheep, and people's smiles are what give everyone the energy to survive.