Seven Knights of the Wasteland

This is a hypothetical question.

Say you were asked to protect a town, even if your chances of surviving were...uh, low.

Tons of powerful, heavily armed enemies and you've got some scrounged up gear and just about no allies.

Would you fight, even without a reward? Or would you not?

Your bravery always impresses me.

Yeah, you always have the right answers.

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After you.

You bastard!

Oww...ow! Damn...you...!

With a hand that slow, nobody would hire you as a gunman. Well, might as well do some honest work. Who knows, good things might happen!

Look how he moves. I never imagined the human body could move so quickly...

The best quickdraw in the West, a move so great, it's almost legendary.

I'd like to see that for myself someday.

Um...Master? Master, do you have a minute?

I just got some news at a saloon. Seems like this town's getting targeted.

Haha, my Master's sure upbeat!

Anyway. I hear that this town's getting targeted.

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Targeted...by whom?

Bandits, scoundrels. Like that lot we encountered earlier. Spooked the sheriff and now he's useless.

And the townspeople are afraid to go out. I wanna help them. That's not a bad thing, right?

Oh, okay! Then let's do it!

I knew my Master'd be up for anything! I'm really starting to like you!

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Senpai, I don't know if you should have accepted this task so lightly. You should at least have asked how many you're going up against...

Oh, I don't know either. Hold on. I'll go ask.

Protecting this town from scoundrels... (Gasp) This is a standard setup for a Western movie!

Oh my...what a very cowboy-ish setting, Master!

Um, well, not exactly... But there were books about it in the library, and I got engrossed in the story...

Yes, there were Westerns in the library, so I studied them as if they were classic stories.

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Hey Master, Master! I asked around to see how many there are.

So how many are there?

About a thousand.

1,000. I see. It's a typical Western setting Ehhh!? A THOUSAND!?

Master, give me your binoculars. Okay, I see them... Hey, isn't that...!?

Hmmm. It appears that your opponent has hired a bunch of leftover Celtic soldiers.

Impossible...that army should have disappeared when Queen Medb was defeated!

They've been summoned to this time and place before, and the area is still very unstable in space time.

With a bit of coincidence and sheer luck, they could very well be summoned again by employing the proper technique.

That said, it would be impossible for an amateur with no knowledge of magecraft to just pull off a freak summoning out of nowhere. Which means...

The other side has a mage, too...or someone like that.

Naturally. That's what worries me.

One thousand Celtic soldiers...that's quite the number.

Master! Take a look at this!

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Yes! It appears that numerous Servants are getting summoned as countermeasures.

I can't believe that many Heroic Spirits are willing to come. Maybe they're spoiling for a fight. Or they're just natural heroes down to their core.

Well, doesn't matter. We'll take all the help we can get.

We'll operate as if we're fixing a Singularity, Fujimaru. Explain to the Servants and ask them for help.

Haha, Master! This is really turning into a Western!

Roger that, Master! All right, let's do this!

Haha, okay, Master! You'll get front row seats to watch how I handle my guns!

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Listen up...that town ahead has tons of people, food, and gold.

...Take them all. Loot everything you can find.

Yeah!!!

We are hungry wolves. We are beasts who only know how to fight and eat.

That's fine. If we don't do so, we can't lay our roots down on this continent.

Steal the leylines and make this grand continent our own. No gun or sword is a match for you.

Now, go!

Use this place as a base so our clan can prosper once again!

Reporting! A hundred of our front line soldiers have been annihilated.

I see that our enemy is quite the adversary.

...

What!?

Our enemies also have Servants.

...

Servants...why you...!

And so, in order to protect this town from a thousand Celtic bandits, I need everyone's help!

Hahaha! So it's Thermopylae once again! That does get me fired up!

I, Leonidas I, shall offer my shield in protection of this town!

Any one Servant is a match for a thousand soldiers, and we have seven. There's nothing to fear!

No wonder Servants who are experts in defense got summoned.

But do you think this old man will be useful in this modern world?

Either way, I got it. Hektor of Troy... I ask that you don't overwork me.

Bandits are oppression. That means this town is being oppressed right now!

It is my duty to destroy all oppressors!

Understood, agreed, and ready to succeed! Defense may not be my forte, but leave surprising the enemy and sowing chaos in their ranks to me!

For I am Mephistopheles! I shall spread the joy of confusion to the enemies!

Ah, despair is so delicious!

Assignment accepted. I can see why we were called, as many enemies as there are.

Hmph. As long as you have Hassan of the Hundred Personas, I shall fill out our numbers to match theirs!

Admittedly, protecting a town is not the typical duty of an assassin, but it's not as if I have no experience in doing such a thing.

Well, summoning me makes sense, at least.

I, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, have apparently run amok in this land before.

But that was as an enemy. I would like to wield my dual lances as an ally this time.

...Amazing. A handful of heroes facing off against a horde or enemies... This is what I've waited for!

Master! What is your command!? I shall paint this entire battlefield red with blood!

Wow, I didn't think everyone would agree to join!

They may say otherwise, but they're all softies at heart. After all, there's nothing to gain from this.

You think so? Heh. That's flattering if it's true.

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Mash Kyrielight shall help you all by navigating for you!

I will immediately inform you all if there are any changes in the town.

All right. Let's start by evacuating everyone in the town.

We're going to take them to the cave inside a forest nearby. I've already spoken to the sheriff.

Then we shall be in charge of leading the way. We do have a Hassan persona who is good at organizing lines.

...It's true. Fighting on the front line is not the only way to do it. Miss Hassan has the role of establishing communication with everyone.

It's not as exciting or glorious, but I will also accompany Miss Hassan. We need to avoid getting attacked from both sides.

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Roger that!

Think about it, Master. We now have seven reliable Servants.

Let's start with the enemy's front line!

The enemies were spineless! How careless of them to put such weaklings on the front lines!

However, there are still more. We should rest up while we have the chance.

Hey, good work.

This is probably going to be a drawn-out battle, so Master, you should rest a bit.

Those are proper Celtic soldiers out there. They're quite the adversary considering how many there are.

Master, I have my report for you: evacuation of the townspeople is not yet complete.

We've gotten about forty percent out. I'm impressed with how well Diarmuid has handled the women...

But there are still children and the elderly. It won't be easy evacuating them all.

Master! They're here! More incoming!

The two of us will put the evacuations on hold for now and join you in battle.

Leave it to me!

Of course! I'm done reloading my gun. Now, come at us, invaders!

This'll be like a shooting gallery!

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Next report. Good news: half of the town's population has been evacuated. However...

We have eagle-eyed enemies. Some of the Celts are trying to sneak ahead and ambush them.

Spartacus is intercepting their attacks and Mephistopheles is confusing the enemy to hold them back.

Still, it looks like the evacuees in the rear will come under attack.

Master. Leave this area to us! Please prioritize the evacuees!

Get going, Master and Billy! This is the path that you two have chosen to take!

...Okay! Master! Mount your horse! We're going together!

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There's still so many townspeople left...!

OPPRESSOOOOOOOOORRRRRRSSS!!!

Crap, Spartacus is getting pinned down!

Huh?

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Ahhh, watching an explosion is always so exciting!

The townspeople are spooked by Mephistopheles, and they've slowed down even more...

Okay. Master, what should we do!?

Okay, Master. BANG! BANG! BANG!

Okay, Master. BANG! BANG! BANG!

Master, give me the bandolier I handed you earlier!

Thanks! Okay! Let's keep going!

!

There are some Celtic soldiers trying to attack the evacuees! Please do something!

Why you...!

Crap...I misfired...!

Hahahaha! I shall be the anvil against which our oppressors are crushed!

Spartacus!

My love...is going to explode!

Wha...!?

Oppression will not be suffered to continue... Now die...knowing that truth...!

Spartacus has disappeared while taking in the Celtic Soldiers around him...

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I'm sorry. It was my mistake.

No. We were just unlucky. And you know, if you think that was as bad as things get...

...then there's nowhere to go from here but up! Okay, here's another bomb!

We have about eighty percent of the civilians evacuated. Just a little bit more.

Ungh...these are...!

Detecting two giant enemies right next to Diarmuid. A chimera and a Spriggan!

I didn't think those were still around...!

It just means that the Incineration of Humanity left that much of a mark here! Let's rescue everyone!

You saved us, my lord...!

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Master! I'm still picking up the chimera!

Please stand back!

Ungh...nnnnnggggh!

Twin spears!

Diarmuid!

...It seems this is the end for me. I leave the rest to you...

I have regrets...but...this isn't...that bad...

Hahahaha, I only did what is expected of a Servant. Thank you, Master.

Though it was brief, I'm glad to have fought alongside you...

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...Let's go, Master!

There are no more giant enemy responses. Let's move forward!

The Celts have broken through the barricade!

Leonidas is still holding them off, but he won't last much longer...!

All right! It seems this is the end for me!

Sir Hektor, this will be my final effort, so let us activate our Noble Phantasms together!

Tch. I got the short end of the stick here. I'd rather trade places with you, Leonidas.

Hahahaha. Unfortunately, the rear guard in battle is what truly makes a fight shine. I cannot trade places with you now!

...It was an honor to have fought alongside you, Guardian of the Hot Gate.

And you, Sir Hektor of the Shining Helmet. It was a great honor...!

Let's go...Durindana! Blow 'em away!

I've...lost Leonidas's signal... Hektor is still okay.

Everyone has been evacuated! We'll hold the enemy back so they don't chase after the civilians!

I shall string them along and toy with them! Ahhh, blowing them up will give me such a thrill!

Why the sudden formality? It was always going to go like this. I was ready for this.

Now, there are only ten of us. Just don't make this a losing battle for us, Master!

What are you talking about, my little Rabbit!? I simply wanted to explode my bombs. And you simply wanted to protect the town.

Isn't this a win-win situation?

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Don't just stand there, Mephistopheles! To battle!

Okay! It's time for our final stand! Take care, you guys!

Okay, Master! Let's go. Let's leave this place to them!

So?

Oh? Whatever do you mean by "so"?

How many bombs do you have left? Aren't you running low?

Ah. Well, this may be a surprise, but I have a great many hidden pockets!

One...two...three... I have a total of five more.

And when you run out of those, our only option will be a suicide attack. An Assassin relying on a suicide attack... Ugh, how mortifying.

If this reached the ears of the First One, I'm sure to get a lecture more terrifying than death itself!

Ah, but our destiny is to gloriously bloom and scatter like flower petals. And that means we just need to go out with a BANG!

Let's go out in the flashiest way.

Unbelievable. I envy the jester his carelessness. Well, I suppose neither of us ever look back!

Hektor!

Hey, Billy. I just set off the final trap.

It's a simple oil barrel, but I bought enough time to chat. Are all the civilians evacuated?

A chase is inevitable, but don't worry about that for now.

All right... This town is isolated and it stretches narrowly from north to south. Setting up a front line here to defend it wasn't an option.

But now that the townspeople are gone, it's a different story. This old man is ready to go wild.

You just need to hurry over and deal with the enemy's boss with Master.

Whoa, that's a big responsibility.

No role is insignificant in this situation. So which is it? Are you going to do it, or not?

Excellent, Master!

Of course we'll do it! And Master seems to be on the same page!

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Yeah. That's the spirit.

Got it. Now, go! I'll cover you!

Master, sit behind me! We're going to break through the enemy line!

Now then...I don't have enough magical energy to shoot off Durindana...

But as luck would have it, I'm skilled at throwing things! As long as I have a rock or two, you lot aren't long for this world!

Hang in there, Silver!

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My horse's name! We're going to intercept the enemy here!

Okay, we've broken through the enemy line completely! Run! Run!

I'm detecting enemies up ahead! Looks like they have a huge amount of magical energy, so please be careful!

I know! I feel it stinging! It feels like Pat Garrett's bloodlust!

Can a human possibly exude so much bloodlust!?

They can. Especially during the pioneering days!

...Now tell us. Who the heck are you?

Ehh, doesn't really matter.

Why you...stupid Servants! I can't believe my ambitions have been halted by mere familiars...

My golden opportunity lay right after humanity was restored. I took over this land's leyline...and I will take my revenge against the Mage's Association...!

Based on what he's saying, I assume he's a mage who was expelled from the Mage's Association for political reasons.

With this vast land and the leyline spread throughout it...my clan will return to its former glory.

The United States just needs to disappear from the face of history. An insignificant mote of dust that knows nothing of magecraft.

America, huh? Well, I guess I call it my homeland.

But if you say it's not, I can't really argue that either.

This is not my land, and it's not yours either.

We're just transient caretakers of the land. Now, draw, mage!

Let's see who's faster.

Kill... I'll kill you! I will not let you get in the way of my golden revenge!

Ungh!

This is the final shot, mage. I only have one bullet left.

And I take it that you only have one more magecraft use left before you need to rest up.

It'll be a duel. Ready?

...Fine.

There'll be no signal. As soon as both of us are ready, we go.

Okay. Fine.

(Stupid.)

(I've already set up protective spells... That guy's bullets are low in Divinity. There's no chance they will)

Eh?

Okay. I win.

Eh...wait...I haven't... No...what...I...wait...wait...wait...!

What? I'm...dead!? He penetrated my defense. How?

How? How? How?

Sorry 'bout that. I'm an outlaw. I'm a villainous kid who plays dirty and always has a trick up his sleeve.

Yep, yeah...

Well, I fired three shots almost simultaneously at the same target, so we can call that a single shot, right?

Oh, I didn't intend to scare you. Sorry 'bout that.

Uh...um...

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Thanks, Master. What? Don't look over here.

I said don't look at me!

Hey, is it over?

Thanks, Hektor.

Don't sweat it. I was able to protect you this time. I'll always accept a role like this.

...Uh, well I take that back. Next time, summon me for easier battles.

Hmph. I never expected I would give an after-action report, even if I'm the only one left.

But it was a great contract, Master. You were true to your word, and it didn't end up being a losing battle.

Ah, and I have this: a parting gift from Mephistopheles.

That laughing man seemed to enjoy it till the very end.

A gift from Mephistopheles? Is that...

A bomb!?

Hyaaah!

...Hm?

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It looks like they're just noisemakers.

That guy messed around until the very end. Man...

But if it wasn't for Mephistopheles, matters would have been much worse.

Right. He's definitely better to have as an ally than enemy.

Now then. Even after the heroes return, we have so much to do.

We need to bring all the civilians back, and I need to collect my reward from the sheriff. Otherwise this was all for nothing.

If someone asks us what happened to the house that got destroyed, we're gonna play dumb.

But first, let's go eat. I may not be hungry, but I still want to enjoy something delicious.

How about we have a few drinks at that saloon? Oh, but bear in mind that if you drink booze made in this time, it'll probably taste like horse piss.