It Begins with Loss

Is that a harp...? It must be Tristan.

？！

Yes.

The music that he usually plays combines both cold vibrations and warm rhythms. But this...

I can sense a heavy sadness, like someone is lost at the bottom of the sea all alone...

Oh? It appears Sir Tristan is thinking of something sad.

Bedivere...

？！

The music that the knight plays usually reflects his present mood.

If he's happy, he plays a happy tune. When he's sad, a sad song. He can express even the most complex of emotions with his harp.

Aww, Bird Boy is sad again? That's a switch.

Mordred!

Mordred, do you have any idea why Sir Tristan is so melancholy today?

'Course not. ...Ehh...maaaybe...

If that dork, a guy so dense he could sleep through a parade, is sad...

It's gotta be because of our king or some girl.

Either one of those'll set him off real fast.

That's true...

？！

Yes...

After a victorious expedition, we returned home in triumph with our king.

We received a joyous reception from the citizenry.

But...while we were riding through the fanfare... Sir Tristan was asleep on his horse.

Sir Lancelot obvious reprimanded him, but he may even have been sleeping through the lecture.

Eh, looking at that guy you can't hardly tell if he's asleep or awake anyway!

Unless something is REALLY serious, he's always got his eyes closed. Somehow he's still aware of his surroundings, though.

I read somewhere that animals like bats and whales possess an ability called echolocation.

Perhaps Sir Tristan is like that.

That is...certainly a theory.

Well then, he's got to be a bat! We're already not sure whether he's a bird or a human anyway!

Well, that is quite rude, Sir Mordred. But Sir Tristan's nerves are truly mystifying.

He possesses sensitivity, impudence, transience, and incorrigibility...

An animal that is tranquil, unreadable, but is said to shed tears at times...indeed, I suppose comparing him to a whale is appropriate.

...Sir Bedivere. Sir Mordred.

Ack!

Oh, Tristan.

I have come, Master.

I've heard my name bandied about with some unkind words.

？！

That is...hmmm. A bat is out of the question because they are lacking in eloquence, but I suppose a whale isn't so bad.

Eh? Seriously!?

See what I mean? That's what this whale-man is like.

What the heck!? Bats fly and they suck blood! They are SO much cooler than whales! They're freakin' badass!

...Ah, I am suddenly stricken with sadness. So, a bad man is what you see as beautiful...

As knights, I believe we must change that perspective. The same goes for the heartless Sir Bedivere.

Haha...my fingers are itching to play music. It's been a while, but shall I play some battle songs?

Um...it's time for my training! See ya!

And I remembered I need to return the books I borrowed from the library. I'm thrice overdue, so I must be sure to return them today!

...(Sigh)

Tristan, are you mad?

No, not at all.

It's hardly news that Mordred is so...lively, nor that Bedivere is so strict with me.

But I am not known as Tristan, the Child of Sadness for nothing.

The sadness that I bear in my heart does not simply disappear so easily.

So during our next battle simulation, I shall stand against him and focus my attention on my target!

(He's so angry!)

Though I have to admit...I am at least a little angry after hearing that conversation.

(Sigh)... Sir Bedivere really knows how to push my buttons...

Ah, I see you've noticed. ...I was remembering the past.

How direct of you. Yes...I was remembering something very sad from very long ago.

？！

I was thinking of Iseult.

Isn't Iseult your...

There were, in fact, two Iseults in my lifetime.

One was the Iseult I loved. The other was the Iseult with white hands who loved me.

...Most people get the wrong idea about this story if I tell it.

They think of it as a story of an immoral two-timer, figuring that makes sense for a handsome man like me.

It's fine. No need to sugarcoat your words.

Yes. And that is the problem.

？！

Ultimately, did I really love someone?

Eh...!?

According to legend, my falling in love was the work of a love potion.

That mad, passionate feeling...I never once felt it with the Iseult with the white hands.

But that was just the effects of the potion. Could it have been a mistake...a fleeting dream one night?

Yes. And all this seems to come from the fact that I was never loved once, not from the moment I was born.

As I never knew love during my childhood, perhaps I never learned to love others.

Thinking on such things immediately drags me down, and the next thing I knew, I was playing this music.

No, I don't think that is true.

Tristan, you're the sort who would never think twice about sacrificing his life for others.

Ah, that is simply how a knight should be.

But...ah, however...

As Sir Bedivere mentioned, maybe I do fail as a human being?

As a melancholy dragon who never knew love, I can't help but to think I may well end up crushed under Martha's foot!

But I'm not moving.

I am calm. My heart is beating at a normal rate.

I can check my pulse if you would like.

？！

Haha, Tristan's up to his old tricks. Once he gets started on a self-loathing rant, there's really no stopping him. He'll be at this for a while.

Gawain!

Sir Gawain...

But...I'm sure even you would not understand my suffering.

Of course I wouldn't understand. Not so much your sadness as WHY you are always getting so sad.

Nobody can best you when it comes to loving someone...at least that's what I think.

Love is a shapeless thing to begin with. Even loyalty is a type of love, wouldn't you agree?

It has nothing to do with physical lust. The intensity of passion is also meaningless.

For example, let's say that there is a man who was weak and mild-mannered. He then took a woman to be his wife...

But then, a powerful entity threatened his life, unless he would trade it for his wife. And the man, sadly, complied.

Would you say that he did not love his wife?

Who are we, who are much better able to fight such a being, to say that such a man did not love his wife?

Well...

Love is not just about not wanting to let go. It's not that you don't know love...

I...

...My apologies. I may have overstepped my bounds... I got too aggressive, just as I do in battle.

Master. Please do not trouble yourself about Tristan's lamentations.

This cloud of sadness can simply be blown away by force. Working up a sweat in the simulator should distract him.

？！

...I suppose.

It feels a touch impulsive and perhaps even brutish, but I suppose I should try Sir Gawain's idea.

Very well, then, Master, please give me your orders.

In my present wavering state, it's best if I ask you to make the decisions here.

Then use a simulation of me for his opponent. Please make him as strong as possible.

After all, the intention here is to distract Sir Tristan from his perpetual melancholy.

His opponent should be a knight with all the force and power of the sun!

...I'm having trauma flashbacks, too, Senpai!

For Tristan's sake, let's give him all our support!

Yes, I am well aware of how terrifying a full-powered Sir Gawain can be.

I shall set aside my inner anguish for now and concentrate on fighting!

？！

Good work, Senpai.

...He was strong.

What a brute. So much so that I nearly lost the melody that has been in my head this whole time.

Fortunately, that let me concentrate on the battle.

Still, I can hardly believe the pain that even a Servant can feel!

No wonder others call this a second life.

I will try.

I cannot forget that if I become a burden to my Master, I am a failure as a knight.

I shall set my sadness aside.

Yes, I know I can come to you, Master. I have no intention of keeping secrets from you.

？！

My song has a certain bounce to it now. It seems tonight I will be playing a pleasant tune.

Good night, Master. May we both have pleasant dreams.

I see. So we're in my dream.

？！

I see.

In brief, this is more the inside of a Servant's mental world than it is a dream.

I had no idea that you fought for any purpose other than restoring humanity, whether in or outside Servants' dreams.

You work so much, Master. So hard and so tirelessly.

Is that so?

But when you do awaken, please use me as you would a manservant.

...What? Your mental fortitude is enough to cause even me to open my eyes in shock.

No...could it be that after so many harsh battles, you are simply always mentally prepared for more?

That is impressive all on its own. I should like to be so strong, but that is a difficult thing to be...

？！

So this grassy plain is my mental world? It's peaceful, but boring.

...No, I'm being too harsh.

If there is some entity lurking in my psyche, then danger is sure to be nearby.

We must cautious, even of something so small as a rabbit. After all, even a tiny, innocent rabbit may turn out to be the dreaded vorpal bunny.

Its got sharp...well, it bites HARD! Even the eleventh of our number, Sir Bors, was decapitated by a single attack from the dreaded vorpal bunny.

Under the light of the sun, Sir Gawain was forced to use all his strength to hold the rabbit down while Sir Lancelot beat it with Arondight!

And then Sir Mordred darted in and kicked it viciously! And Merlin just...kept talking about the king like a broken record.

And, finally, we defeated this greatest of foes!

？！

...

My apologies, Master. I may have embellished a bit. I was just trying to lighten the mood.

How odd... Sir Bedivere always found that story hilarious.

Could it be...that he was faking it?

During our next Round Table discussion, I will definitely try to make Master laugh.

？！

Ah, it seems the real beast has come upon us while we were japing.

Is that a beast within my heart, or is it my malicious thoughts given form?

Either way, Master. Let's fight together.

They were not so tough.

If that is the evil that dwells in my heart, it is...unimpressive.

But I thought all would be resolved when we defeated those enemies...

？！

I'm terribly sorry. It's almost nightfall.

How odd for night to come even in my dreams.

You must be tired. Let's find an inn so you can rest.

...Hm?

？！

Let's check it out, Master. That may at least spare us having to camp outside for the night.

It's...empty... And this city is...

Master. Let's get out of here immediately. This city is dangerous.

？！

You are right in thinking this place is deserted, but that is precisely why it is so dangerous.

？！

...!!!

How...do you know the name of this city? No, I guess it's obvious.

We are in the Singularity...Camelot. It should have been restored already...

...But that person is not here!

Even if they were here, I would...

？！

...Master?

You are not Master. If you are not Master...

YOU were the one who was dwelling within me!

Hahaha. You, sir, get overeager and make a terrible mistake at the crucial moment.

!?

See, this is what happens when you abandon your attack to simply wait and see what happens.

You wouldn't be in this mess had you already taken down the unknown entity disguised as Master.

You are...no, not Sir Gawain.

To take his form disgraces us all. You must disappear immediately.

Ah, Sir Tristan. What led you to that conclusion?

You have no basis for saying so. We are mere Servants who are not even Heroic Spirits.

We are degraded imitations that manage to establish our existence with Master acting as an anchor.

...But that is not the case for you.

You are the Knight of the Round Table himself. You have sworn your loyalty to a certain individual.

Shut up.

No, I will not.

The more you wish to silence us, the more we must speak.

...Nnngh!

Do not talk of our brotherhood! Do not slander our loyalty!

Every time you change forms, you besmirch the honor of the Knights of the Round Table!

Then tell us your name.

Tristan. Tristan of Sadness. What of it?

Yeah, that's right. But you're missing something, dumbass. You're a Knight of the Round Table.

That's right. A Knight of the Round Table. Though in the end, I relinquished that seat...

And by relinquishing that seat, you must have renewed that vow of yours. Vowed that you would offer your everything to THAT person...

That's...

Why do you quarrel, sir? Didn't that massacre feel good to you?

Quiet!

"Nightless."

"Fierce."

"Rampage."

You want to have another taste of it. Look, you're laughing.

...!

...ter...

...ster...

...Master...

How many times...must...I commit this...mistake...? How can I...atone...for these...sins...?

We heard this was an emergency, so we came as fast as we could!

Hm, I'm second? Lancelot, reporting for duty.

Did you call for us, Master? ...This is...

Hey, what's going on? Did you call the whole Round Table?

Okay, let me explain the situation!

Tristan...Rayshifted somewhere and has disappeared.

Huh? Without Master!?

Wait, we can Rayshift without permission?

I thought we could only Rayshift when accompanied by Master?

Well, there are few tricks you can pull, but nothing like whatever's been done here.

It was as if he was kidnapped... Tristan's Spirit Origin just disappeared...

And next thing we know, there's a weird new Singularity.

Well, it's not exactly a Singularity. It would hardly show up as even a tiny stain on the tapestry of history.

It's more like a little piece of lint. Even the faintest breeze would blow it off of the fabric of history.

On the flip side...

It means that Tristan is in the most dire of all situations because he's in a place that could disappear at any moment.

...

？！

Obviously.

Leave it to us, Master.

I'll accompany you.

...

Pass. You've got plenty of help. Should be fine.

Mordred...I see...you're not quite in top form because you...ate something strange...

No matter how wild and strange of an animal you may be, you are still a member of the nobility...and so I can understand why you've responded as you have.

By God!

Sir Mordred. Are you not feeling well? Did you eat too much ice cream this summer?

Or are you still angry at Sir Tristan for accidently shooting you the other day?

That was an unfortunate accident. You know Tristan makes foolish mistakes like that sometimes.

You're all wrong! Shut-up, tri-fold-man!

And Bedivere! Is THAT what happened the other day!?

I knew something was funky when I felt like something was cutting into my back...

So she didn't even notice...

(Ack, I put my foot in my mouth...!)

Actually, I have a bad feeling about this.

Hm. Sir Mordred's animalistic instinct has never led us astray...which means this will be difficult.

Remember how you were lucky enough to run into me while I was in terrible shape because I hadn't fully healed after Lancelot?

I'd normally beat you without even breaking a sweat, even at night. That defeat was due entirely to my own bad luck.

...!

That wasn't bad luck. You're just a freakin' idiot. You were the one who let the king go without even arguing the point.

If you had two brain cells to rub together under all that muscle, I might not've had such an easy time defeating you.

Oh?

Oh, so you say that might've made it harder, hm? Tell me this: Would you have a harder time fighting me without your head!?

U-um...excuse me...!

...Calm down, Mash.

We're not gonna fight... We're all just messing around! Round Table jests!

？！

Yeah, fighting and holding grudges doesn't work so well for a team dynamic.

Just accept them as jokes that KILL.

Anyway, I'm still giving this one a pass.

I got this feeling that I need to stay right where I am.

...I see.

Then we three shall go...

Yes.

We shall save Sir Tristan and remove this piece of lint from history!

The lint thing is just a metaphor!

Yeah, have fun everyone! I'll be by to pick up your corpses later!

If Fujimaru ends up dead, the world will be in real trouble.

Anyway, get in your Coffins. The Knights of the Round Table, go rescue Tristan!

...I knew you'd say that. I went ahead and prepared the Rayshift for you.

You're amazing, Miss Da Vinci.

It's all good as long as I can still do whatever the heck I want! Okay, time to head out!

？！

This is...!

...

Yes...it's Camelot, the holy city. But it's empty.

I'm not detecting any enemies nearby.

I am getting a Servant reading up ahead, though.

Wouldn't that be Sir Tristan?

Actually, the Spirit Origin values are fluctuating. Whatever it is, it's not stable.

Please be careful, everyone. You too, Master.

No point standing around. Let's go see if we can talk to him.

Let's go...!

!?

Ugh...!

What!?

...I have been waiting for you all.

Tristan...!

？！

Master. I...I'm no longer just.

The moment I deemed that killing innocent citizens was fine, I should have ceased to exist as a Heroic Spirit.

The gift of Inversion is simply an excuse.

Tristan, are you saying that your memories from the Sixth Singularity have...!?

No, THAT was the real me!

What of it if I was reversed!?

It was still me!

？！

I don't quite understand the situation...

But Sir Tristan, open your eyes. No matter how terrible your actions, there is no sin that cannot be redeemed.

So long as you are truly remorseful...even if you are never forgiven, you still have a chance at atonement.

Sir Bedivere, my comrade. You do not know.

Moments ago, I experienced the reversed version of myself.

...!

What!?

I now understand why I know nothing of love.

A monster so evil as me should never be loved.

I should be killed. Please, destroy me!

A fool like me deserves no more than having his comrades lop his head off.

That is absolute nonsense, Sir Tristan! That is no reason for us to draw our swords against you!

Then I shall kill Master.

!!!

There's no cause for surprise here.

As I said before... The inverted me is my true self. It is only natural that I should drown myself in malice.

...!

Master.

I don't understand what's happened, but we need to stop Tristan first!

That's right. Sir Tristan, we may be at least partially the cause of your madness...

Honestly...

Master, please get behind us. This...may turn into an astonishingly violent battle.

My Airgetlám knows no mercy. I shall destroy that sinister harp's sadness at its source!

Ungh!

Even after the beating we've given you, you're still standing! Where are you getting this endurance?

In addition to my Gift of Inversion, I have also been given the Gifts of Nightless and Rampage.

Who gave them to you!?

It certainly shouldn't be the Lion King. She should already have disappeared!

I do not know myself. It must be some cruel and unfathomable being.

But even that bit of ridiculousness made me realize something: I am truly a monster.

And I never even realized it, all while I lamented over my own origin, crying about my own inability to understand human emotion!

That's why...I could never be loved.

That's not true! Tristan, you're...

...Tristan, I believe in you.

Then in order to prove my villainy...

I shall...I shall lop your head off...Master!!!

Tristan!!!

？！

What the hell are you whinging about, Bird Boy?

!?

Mordred!?

Yo, Tristan.

I see you did not come with the party. How unlike you, wild dog that you are, to cower in fear.

Okay, everyone, STOP CALLING ME A DOG!

Ugh. Fine. If I'm a dog, what's that make you? A little bug?

A tiny bug buzzing about... A pissant that doesn't know what love is?

As ever, your provocations are the most grating of insults.

Oh, I got plenty more for you when you get back.

You're given all those gifts, then you bitch and bitch and bitch, then fall into some desperate madness!? What a damn wimp! Pathetic!

What would you know?

Hell if I know.

But now I know the reason why I didn't tag along.

...?

The real expert in self-flagellation is the damn king.

Your quibbling and all that whining would REALLY piss her off!

And if SHE's going to put in an appearance, all I could do is stay the hell away, or we might all end up killing each other.

What are you saying... No...impossible...

It can't be!!!

I have come in answer to a call from afar.

Sir, I see you are lost.

...King of the sacred lance!

Even for you, I will not compromise!

Then as your king, I will have your submission, even if I must beat it into you.

I am a king, but also a member of the Knights of the Round Table.

Should my knights disagree, I am fully prepared to handle their quarrel.

Sir Tristan, show me your bow and its infinite arrows. With my sacred lance, I shall annihilate the source of your melancholy.

...Very well.

Sing, my Failnaught. Sound the melody of my lament!

Sacred lance, removing restraints.

Master of Chaldea, I ask of you: please take temporary command.

I need to give this thickheaded knight a moment of silence and reflection.

I appreciate your willingness to help.

...Let's go!

No need to thank me.

After all, this is my duty. Now, let's go!

？！

Ungh! My King! You do not understand me!

No, it is you who does not understand yourself.

No... It's not that you don't understand, but that you refuse to.

The light of Rhongomyniad will pierce through your blessings. And then...

Master will destroy your hesitation.

Master of Chaldea. Do you know of Tristan's legend?

While he did learn what love is, deep in his heart, he averted his gaze from it.

？！

I...

？！

!

I...I...

It's a black sail, Sir Tristan.

Ah, I see. It was inevitable.

...No. That can't be true. I remember. At the time, I was thinking...

"It would be my greatest regret if I died right here..."

"While leaving the most gentle woman I know to be so lonely and sad. I want to apologize to her...to talk to her...to tell her..."

"And I want to ask her: 'May I love you?'"

That's right...I...

I should have asked my question. Even if the only answer would have been a curse or insult.

Even had it led to me losing my love, I would have accepted that as just...

(...The evil Gift has disappeared. But...the fairy princess, my older sister...does this mean she has manifested somewhere...?)

Sir Tristan. I ask of you: Do you still think you have never loved anyone?

...No.

What I lacked in life was not love, but courage.

I was constantly fearful of losing love, and therefore could not allow myself to love anything.

I loved two women. And that is fine. And I will not discuss what that led to.

Thank you, Master. And my king.

I can finally awaken from my dream.

Gawain, Lancelot, Tristan...and...

You must continue to dedicate yourselves to restoring humanity. Never forget to be proud of being Knights of the Round Table!

Oh, good, she's gone. Okay, Tristan. I'm gonna give it to you straight:

Iseult of white hands and blondie Iseult? I'm pretty sure they'd have kicked a two-timing ass like you to the curb given half a chance.

Before you died of that poison, you should've gotten a big damn smack to the face!

Ha... I never imagined you of all people would be the one to point out the truth.

It's quite vexing, so remember this one thing when we get back:

I shall rain limitless arrows upon your unnecessary and demeaning personal attacks!

Yeah, firing off a buncha arrows while running away like a bitch is pretty much the definitive Archer move.

Heh. Hold it right there, Sir Mordred. There's still one last thing that Sir Tristan needs to do.

Yes, a very important thing.

Huh? What're you...

...?

Haha, yes, indeed, hahaha.

He was beyond confused...only able to snap to his senses after our king attacked him...he even attacked us with his Gift.

And even the King was so focused on lecturing Sir Tristan, she only glanced toward us at the very end.

No, no... It's not that that made us jealous.

Sirs? I mean, guys?

Are you...super pissed?

Well, okay, this did get out of hand enough that everyone had to get involved...

But at least...at least the conclusion was heartwarming, right...?

？！

Indeed. All sins can be atoned for, Tristan. Whether you will be forgiven is another matter.

...

Master.

？！

Please...see to my funeral...

？！

Not a joke...!

Brace yourself!

Sorry I took over.

Oh, I don't mind. But do you think Tristan and the others are all right?

What do you mean, all right? They're all set to come back whenever.

Um, I mean...is anyone holding a grudge?

Grudge? 'Course not.

It'd be different if we went after each other all serious and stuff.

But they're just bickering with each other. Just playing around.

Playing around? Really?

Yeah. Wanna bet on it?

By tomorrow night, the four of them will be rolling around on the floor like a bunch of morons laughing like this was the funniest damn thing ever.

Honestly, the Knights of the Round Table are all complete nutjobs!