A Bouquet for the Beauty

Aldo. Let's go to the tavern.

Okay. Are you sure? I never would've thought you were the tavern type. It's a little early for food, are you hungry already?

No, not hungry... But if two manly men are to exchange stories over drinks, that's where we have to go, is it not? That's what normal men do, surely?

Erm... I suppose you're not wrong... Anyway, I'm getting the sense you want to talk about something. I'm not that thirsty right now, but I'll hear you out. Let's go to the tavern.

Okay, let's dig i...

Wait.

What's that? It looks like a mouse...

...I don't see anything. This is a Royal City tavern after all, I don't think we need to worry about pests.

Really? Okay. Well I guess as I'm the one who invited you here, I should be first to eat.

First a little bite... Hmm... There's an unusual bitterness that coats the palate... But it's not unpleasant. Aldo, you keep an eye out.

Okay...

Hey, Benedict. My food... It's going cold. Can't I eat yet?

Don't worry, that dish is good cold. You can eat now. Just in case, I'll hold off on eating for now.

By the way, Benedict. I'm not sure how to say this... But you know normally in places like this, you don't have to worry about food being poisoned.

......

......

Of course. I was just worried the food may have been too hot for you.

Thanks, I guess... Anyway, you wanted to talk?

Yes... I want to make a bouquet.

A bouquet? That's unexpected. I'm a little surprised you even know what that means.

Aldo, you look about the same age as me. Are you betrothed?

What now?

Are you promised to a woman?

What?! Of course not... Where did that come from?

I see... I suppose I'm at a proper age for it. This is the time that people usually settle down, is it not?

I-I'm not sure... I've never really thought about it. (So Benedict's betrothed, is he?) A-Anyway. So that's why you need a bouquet?

It has to be something special. The likes of which has never been seen before.

Hmm... We could try going to a different time. Flowers are pretty scarce in the future. Maybe we should try looking in the past.

......

Th-Th... This is it!

You're kidding!

I see... I suppose making a bouquet is more complicated than I thought. Aldo, first you have to weaken them!

A-Ah! He must be desperate!

This will do. This is the kind of bouquet that will definitely surprise. What do you think, Aldo? If you were to receive this bouquet, how would you feel?

I don't know how I'd feel... But it's certainly a unique bouquet...

Okay, we're back safe and sound... By the way, Benedict, where is your partner?

Somewhere in the castle town. I'm sure I'll find someone there.

You mean you don't have someone already?!

Excuse me, ma'am.

What? M-Me?

I would like to converse with you...

S-Sorry. I'm a bit busy right now...

......

......

(This might take a while...)

Excuse me, ma'am.

M-Me?

Ooh, you're handsome!

(Oh! This might go better.)

Please accept my gift. A sign of my feelings.

Wh-What is that?! Is this some kind of prank?!

......

......

No, not her, Benedict!

Out of the way!

Aldo, do you not care for older women?

It's not that. There's older and then there's "older..."

...Hmph!

No, no! Wait!

Aldo, why are you stopping me?! She was a fine young thing!

She was way too young! Anyway, it doesn't work like that, just picking out a random woman!

Hmph... Marriage is more complicated than I expected...

Complicated? I think you just have it all wrong. Benedict, let's just give it a rest for now, okay?

Ahhh!

Benedict! Did you hear that scream?

Yes, I heard it. Aldo, let us hurry!

Heheh... You're a pretty one. I'm glad I came all this way now. Come with me, precious!

Help! Somebody help!

Heheh, no one's here to help you, little girlie. And even if there were, they'd only find the end of my blade!

If you're trying to woo her, you really should have a hand-made bouquet, sir.

Huh? Who are you? I'll make you pay for meddling...

A contest of strength? Very well. To the victor shall go the lady's hand. This is the way of the world, after all.

Ugh! H-How is he doing that... swinging that huge ax so easily...

Aldo. Quick, take the maiden somewhere safe.

Okay. This way!

Well, let's have at it.

W-Wait. That ax...and that bandana... You're that wanted fugitive, the "Bone Wolf"!

......

I give up! There's no way I can win against someone like you!

How can I ever possibly thank you?

No need for thanks. This is what any man, no, what any person would have done. I want you to have this. It's a bouquet unlike any other.

Oh! What a wonderful gift!

(No way!) (M-Maybe I'm the one who's weird here?!)

Will you be my bride?

Of course...

I would, if I didn't already have a husband.

Fret not. This is not a problem.

Of course it's a problem!

If I were single, I may have fallen in love with you here and now. Fate is cruel sometimes.

I see... I understand. In that case, farewell.

Thank you so much.

I'm glad you're finally getting it. I thought you were going to carry on for a while there.

Why would I persist? Has she not already gone to annul her marriage?

NO!

Hmm... You disagree? Very well. But she took my flowers, so we're as good as married. It's only a matter of time.

W-Well, if you're okay leaving her for now, I'm not going to argue...

One step closer to a normal bliss.

(More like one step closer to crazy town.)