Fragile Life

Hm?

Over here, Kuchinawa my dear!

Why don't ya come over and talk to a lady with a little more experience, eh?

What in the world is Kuchinawa up to now? Whatever it is, it probably isn't good.

Hey! Kuchinawa!

Oh, what a coincidence! Fancy meeting you here, friend.

Why is it always a coincidence with you? You know what, never mind. What is going on here?

You're not trying to hock off some lady-magnet or something silly like that, are you?

Lady-magnet? What kinda salesman do ya take me for? That don't sound much like a hoot at all.

Well then what's up with all...this, then?

Yes, well, ya see...

Kuchinawa, my dearest, please show me your wares!

Yeah! Lemme see some of those hot Darkrealm assets you got!

Darkrealm...assets?!

Ridiculous, I know.

You mean to tell me all this junk sells in the Darkrealm?

More importantly, how do these women know about the Darkrealm?

Well, that's an easy one, friend. These lovely ladies are all from the Darkrealm.

So...they aren't human? All of them?

...Is...that okay?

What's that supposed to mean, friend? Ya think just because these folks are from the Darkrealm, that they're all evil? Quite the disappointment, if so!

Listen. Ya gotta get yer head out of this whole light good, shadow bad mentality.

Yeah, so the Darkrealm has a few unsavouries... But most of em's just folks livin' the life fantastic, dealin' with the lot they got, ya know?

You got some friends from down dark, don't ya?

I mean...

...That's not the point!

Kuchinaaaawaaaaa! MARRY US!

...But don't you think this is a little much?

A little extra never hurt nobody, friend.

Has it, though?

Hm?

Hm? What's up with her?

......

Hm?!

Wha?

...Me first! You're comin' with me mister!

Oh no, not again! Heeeeeeelp! Frieeend!

Hey! Kuchinawa?!

Crap! She took him further into Derisimo! I better go after them!

There you are!

Kuchinawa!

Hello there again, friend. Seems like these days all we do is play cat and mouse, huh?

There'd be no game if you weren't always getting kidnapped! Now, be real with me Kuchinawa...

You're not seriously going to marry this little girl, are you?!

Heh, no. I'm 'fraid marriage is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment, friend.

Besides, you say "little girl", but to me every single one of y'all might as well be tadpoles. 'S like lookin' at my great, great, grandkids.

What part of the Darkrealm are you from? You should get home.

Dark...Realm?

Sorry, friend. I forgot to mention this li'l lady's from up top, like you.

Then why did she...

Because I need a favor!

You're the guy that makes all those amazing things, right? I heard all those ladies talking about you!

So I was hoping you could use one of those amazing things of yours to...

...Bring my friend back to life!

That's a...

Huh, a marsh gecko, eh? Yeah, hate to break it to ya li'l miss, but...

That's somethin' I can't help ya with. Sorry.

...Why?!

I got all sorts of amazing things for sale, that much is true, but there ain't nothin' in this world that can bring back the dead, got it?

B-But...

WAAAAAAH!

......

Well, I suppose I could at least hear ya out, li'l miss. Tell ol' Kuchinawa what happened...

Sniff... O-Okay...

She's just a little marsh gecko, but she's my best friend...you see...

And so, the other day we went on a walk out in the Keruri Highlands and these scary guys came up to us and....

Oi there li'l lady!

Hm?!

Mind showin' us a look at yer li'l lizzie friend ya got there real quickslike?

I...No...

Oi. We're lookin' for winged geckos! This ain't no winged gecko.

Damn, thought we a'most 'ad one, too. Can't do nothin' with a stupid marsh gecko.

Reminds me though... Back when I was a wee little runt, I used to cut the little tails off these ugly things 'n use em as toys. Takes me back, it does.

Also, if ya squeeze their necks like so, the dumb runts think they're dead 'n' do a li'l flipsie-doo on they backs.

I remember doin' that! Ya just put your 'ands like so and...

Don't!

Oops, I think I mighta squeezed a li'l too hard. Dumb thing stopped movin'. Oh well.

'Ere, you can 'ave it.

Oh no.... Geckie!

Now that's...

How terrible...

...I just can't believe someone would do such a thing... ...But all I want is my little Geckie back...

I understand, li'l miss, but like I said, there ain't no bringing folks back from the dead. Is there anythin' else ya'd like me to do?

......

Hmmm...

Well, how about this? We do a little avengin'.

A...venging?

You seriously think a girl her age should be getting her hands dirty like that?

Come on now, friend!

You make it sound like she's doin' somethin' bad! She ain't the one with blood on her hands, it's those guys!

That's true, I guess...

A little avengin' will do you, Geckie, and the li'l miss some good. Might even save yer soul, so to speak.

Now, no time to waste! Gotta strike when the iron's hot and all that. Now, ya said ya found em' by the Keruri Highlands, yeah? Let's go.

I did... I secretly wished that something bad would happen to those evil men, and I'm gonna be the one to do it!

Hey Kuchinawa! Wait for me!

Now then, where are they?

There they are!

All this searchin' and we ain'ts found a single one of thems rare geckos.

Go out to places monsters is, they said. Ain't found a single one 'as we?

Alls we found was that marsh gecko from the other day, eh?

Oh yeahs I remember 'im.

Coulda done without the li'l brat whalin' about and such, though.

Whoever thought of someone keepin' a pet marsh gecko, eh? A strange one for sure, she is. Ain't nothin' special 'bout a marsh gecko anyhoo. Says it's a gecko, but looks more like a bug to me, all brown and wot not. Not somethin' you keeps as a pet, at any rate.

World's fulla weird folks. Ain't nothin' surprisin' these days. Except maybe 'ow easy that gecko went belly up! Hah!

How could they say such a thing?

Sniff... Sniff...

I'm not gonna let them get away with this! No way!

HEY! I think it's about time you taught me how to do this whole avenging thing, cause I'm in an avenging mood!

I'll do to them what THEY did to Geckie!

Sure.

Kuchinawa!

You're really gonna teach this little girl how to get revenge on those guys?

Do ya mind not whisperin' in my ear, friend? I'mma need you to be quiet for just a tic.

What?!

Avenging 101, was it? Sure, I can show ya the basics. Why don't we start with...

You bein' my customer!

...Seriously?

And not just any customer, a SPECIAL customer. ...And special customers pay special prices, got it?

Ya sure you're up for it?

Special customer? You bet!

Thatta girl! Now...

I just need you to buy one of these here mystery bags!

Huh?

Mystery....bag?

Yes, and yer in luck cause it's the only one I got in stock. Reserved specifically for special customers such as yerself, li'l miss!

...Stock??

Oi, we're wastin' our time out 'ere. Let's get movin' eh?

Bet we can find the rare ones a bit further ins.

Hey! They're leaving!

Wouldja look at that, just the kind of item we were lookin' for. Why don't we take it and follow our murderous friends further in, eh?

Found anythin'?

Ain't found a one...

Hey.

Wot?

You guys lookin' for winged geckos?

Yeah, 'ow ya know that?

Cause I'm doin' the same thing.

And well, I was thinking... I couldn't catch them all myself, what with them being so rare, so I was wondering if you guys wanted to team up? Catch as many as we can and then share the profits?

I likes the sound of that.

'Ows about you lend us a 'and then, eh?

(This is what you wanted me to do right, Kuchinawa?!)

Now...I'm pretty sure I saw one...

Let me sees...

WOT!

Oi, what's this alls about, eh?! Thought you said you saw one over 'ere!

Ack...

What is this crap anyhow, my 'ole 'ead's light' up like a bulb!

Cough... What's with this damn smoke!

I dunno! I can barely see a thing!

What the 'ell was that?!

Oi!

Now wot?! Someone stop all this racket will ya!

And get rid of this monster too! Where'd the damn thing even come from anyhow?!

I'd 'elp but I can't see a damn thing cause of all that bloody smoke!

Hahahaha! AAAAHAHAHAHA! This is the best, I tell ya what. I do love the sight of idiots bumblin' about. First we hit 'em with the flash, then every monster's favorite, fart spray!

It's all junk, but when ya put it all together like this, well that's what I call treasure, don't ya think, li'l miss?

Heh...hehe...

....Yup!

Well, don't just stand there, get in on the fun! If ya give it a kick it shoots out this pink smoke that doesn't wash off!

Hope I don't miss!

Cough, cough, wretch....

Hahahaha!

PFfftaahahahaha!

What the bloody 'ells is all this!

Oi, look over there!

Looks like we've been found out!

Who do ya think you's is, anyhow? Tryin' to get back at us, is ya? Then you'se better be ready for what comes next!

Hear that, li'l miss? These two think they've got the upper hand!

Why don't ya just stand back for a moment, let my friend here take care of the rest, eh?

I think you mean "me and my friend", right?!

We'll remember this!

Gotta say friend, good hustle out there. Really took it to 'em.

Why do you always make me do all the work?!

I wouldn't say ya did "all" the work, come on now.

Anywho, how's about we take the li'l miss back to Derisimo, where it's safer, eh?

Did ya see the look on their faces?! Now that's what I call avengin'!

Didja have fun, li'l miss? Better than that whole eye for an eye thing any day, right?

Yeah! I bet Geckie's smiling down from above happy I didn't do something I'd regret...

......

What's the matter?

...I guess it just finally sunk in. Geckie's never coming back....

......

It's still just...so frustrating... I don't regret what we did, but it still hurts that I lost my best friend... Sniff...

Ain't nothin' to be frustrated about there, li'l miss! Nothin' at all.

...What do you mean?

Here, take a look...

...GECKIE?!

It's...moving?! But, I thought it was dead? How'd it come back to life?!

Come back to life? Where'd you get that idea from? Our little Geckie here wasn't dead to begin with.

...What? What do you mean?

It was "mostly" dead.

Mostly dead?!

Well, when somethin's dead, then yeah, it's dead. But if it's only "mostly" dead, then that means it can heal. Make sense?

Now aren't ya glad we pulled our little prank?

Had we done the other thing, well then that'd have made you the bad guy.

Listen, li'l miss. Just go out there and have yourself a hoot. Ya keep doin' that and good things are sure to come yer way, got it?

Yeah!

Sniff... I got it!

You knew it wasn't dead this whole time, didn't you?

Don't give me that look now! Ya really gotta have a little more faith in me.

You know what, you're right...

I feel like there's a "but" comin' on...

But hey! That's one good deed done for the day! I'll be seein' ya around.

Now, if they'da just disappeared... Such a shame...

I consider myself a forgivin' man, but I'm not the type to do it twice. But it is what it is, I s'ppose...

Wot... The...

It looks like some kinda poisonous whatsit....

AAAAAAAAAAARGGGHH!!