The Carousing Piratess

Say, Aldo. You think maybe there's any pirate treasure in these parts?

Huh? Where the heck did that come from?

You remember how my crew and I were searching for a lost treasure? Figured I'd have to start somewhere...

Sorry, it's not really my area. How about asking around in the tavern? You hear all kinds of rumors there.

Thanks, not a bad idea. All I have to go on right now is an old coded message.

Cool, sounds real pirate-y. What's the message say?

"The King of Skulls sits atop a mountain of swords." Smells like treasure to me!

Okay, how about start by asking if anyone's heard something like that before?

It doesn't sound familiar to me, though.

Doesn't surprise me, a clean-cut fella like you. We need to delve a little deeper. Plus, there's another good reason to drop in on the tavern.

What's that?

I never pass up the chance to sample some local food and drink!

All right, Barkeep! You got any specials? What d'you recommend? Oh, and one more thing, you ever hear of a king of skulls on a mountain of swords?

Folks say it's a clue to some pirate treasure that sank long, long ago.

What's that? You got a good story for me?

We might. Here's what we know...

Hmm... Yeah, I might know something. You get to hear all kinds of stuff in my line of work.

That's great! What have you heard, exactly?

Well...I don't know if I should be giving out this info for free... How's this for a price?

What! Are you kidding? There's no way we can afford that!

You gotta make a living, I respect that. But we don't have that kind of cash. How about we make a bet on it instead? I challenge you to an all-you-can-eat contest!

Ah, now things are getting interesting! I'm no glutton, but I'm pretty sure I can put away more than you, little lady.

Just try it! If you win, I'll work for you free of charge for a whole year!

Hey, are you sure about this?

I... *gasp* I can still...

Woo, nothing like a taste of the local fare to brighten up the afternoon! Whassa matter, buddy? Looks like you're slowing down. C'mon, no point in doing this if we don't have fun with it!

Urgh... What kind of monster are you...

Hey Aldo, come join the party! S'boring just watching from the sidelines, right?

I'm good, thanks.

Aww, why not? It's good stuff. I won't bite, promise. C'mon, c'mon! Just a little? Don't be such a party-pooper!

Hey, this is a one-on-one battle, remember? It wouldn't be fair if I joined in on your side.

Ha ha ha! Have you forgotten who your opponent is here? You'll be eating your words in a minute. I've got my second wind! Om... Urp! I feel sick...

Oh, real impressive. You at your limit already? Looks like it's a win for me! Now how about that information you promised us?

Not done yet... I can still...

You're done, just accept it! You haven't even swallowed that last bite yet.

Aww, he's no good to us if he's just gonna slip into a food coma. Guess we'll have to finish up this food ourselves.

Yeah... Maybe I'll go get some kind of indigestion medicine to help this guy out.

Wait, before you go, you've GOT to try some of this!

What's good for settling a stomach? Maybe there's some local remedy.

Excuse me. Is there anywhere around here I can get some medicine for indigestion?

Indigestion, you say?

Aye, something to buck a body up after they've eaten a touch too much.

I see... The healer who lives next to the blacksmith could help you with that. People travel here just to buy her medicaments. Couldn't hurt to ask.

Great, thanks. We'll go talk to her.

Are you the healer around here?

That's right. What can I help you with today?

Do you have anything for indigestion?

Overdid it at lunch, did you? You young people, you've got to pace yourselves.

It's not for me. A, uh...friend of ours ate a lot of food a little too fast...

So we want something that'll snap him right out of it and have him fighting fit and ready to talk about...this and that.

My, my. I do have a product that would do the trick, but I've run out of the ingredients I need to make it.

What kind of ingredients?

Wow, sounds too good to be true. Modern medicine sure is something.

What's say we head over to the swampland and pick up some?

Look! That's the kind of monster we want.

Wasn't too hard to find. Lady Luck must be smiling on us.

Get ready to walk the plank!

Okay, all that's left is to squeeze out some of its essence...

Get a whole lot of the stuff, okay?

Huh? Why a lot?

If this medicine's as good as it's cracked up to be, I'd never get caught out by tummy troubles during a meal again! I know a ton of gourmands who'd give their right arms for a treasure like this!

I guess that's why you can't get this stuff in regular stores. Probably for the best. It'd make it really easy to go crazy at the dinner table. Imagine the excess...

Yeah, maybe banquets wouldn't be so much fun if there wasn't an element of challenge anymore.

Banquets? How much were you planning to eat with this stuff's help? I'm not made of money, you know.

Well, what do you think raids on coast towns are for?

I'm kidding, don't look so grim. I got no interest in plundering.

You'd better be telling the truth...

I'm in this for the adventure, the thrill of discovering new lands and new treasures. So let's get this little treasure back to our pal and see what she can do with it.

Hey, we got you that plant essence. Think you can whip up that medicine now?

It shouldn't be a problem. Wait just a few minutes.

I bet the merchant is gonna be glad to get this stuff.

Here. Get this down ye, lad.

Too full... Urgh... No room...

Don't be such a whiner. Drink up.

Mrn? *glug glug glug* Huh? Ooh, I'm suddenly feeling a lot better.

Wow! That stuff acts fast.

Are the mists clearing now, buddy? You remember our wager?

Woo hoo! I've been waitin' for this.

If you want to get your hands on it, you're going to need a certain map. Rumor has it the treasure can be right in front of your nose, but without the map you'll be up a creek without a paddle.

Hmm. So our time'll be better spent searching for the map. The old message, and now this map... that's all we have to go on, huh?

This map might lead to a different treasure than the one you're looking for.

Treasure's treasure. I'll take my chances. It's the adventure of finding it that counts, even if you only end up with a single coin.

Why are you so hell-bent on finding this treasure, anyway?

You might say it's a family tradition. My father went after it back when I was just a little girl. Pop, he was captain of his own ship. But then one day, he got caught up in a storm at sea. There were no survivors. The ship, the crew, the dream... They all went down with him.

That's awful. So you're carrying on in your dad's place?

That's right! I'm gonna find it no matter how long it takes. This new info's a step forward. Let's have us a feast to celebrate!

You want to eat more?! Where do you put it all?

Put it all on this guy's tab, Barkeep! He's the one that lost the contest, after all.

Hey, I never agreed to that!

Don't get so hung up on details, buddy. Cut loose and enjoy life a little. We're all pals now, right? And Aldo, you're not weasling out of it this time!

Now, hold on!

I dunno if I can keep up with you...

Just pace yourself, I'll go slow so I don't embarrass you. Barkeep! Pull out all the stops for this one, we're gonna be here a while.

No more! Mercy! You're not human...