Terror! It's Raining Men!

Where do I begin... It all started a little while after we first met... Even though I saw it first-hand, it's still hard to believe what happened...

Suzuné! Could you please slow down and calm down?

Well, the future isn't exactly chaos-free...but anyway, you asked us to bring you here. What are you planning on doing now?

Business? What kind of business?

You do not need to worry. Humans pass away in this age too, quite suddenly.

...Wonderful?

Your work ethic is very commendable.

I'm...not sure. Any ideas, Riica?

Ideas...for a job...

Job? Who said job? You lookin' for a job?

I can hook you up with a gig, lickity split if you can start right now. Whaddaya say?

Great, so here's what I needya to do. You're gonna go out and deliver this package. Sound good?

...Wh-Who even are you?

Ay, it's nothing suspicious, alright? I'm one of the area managers for a CCC. Everything is completely by the books!

That is unexpected. I ran a facial scan which confirmed he is telling the truth. He is clean, figuratively.

You ain't ever heard of a CCC before? Lady, I don't know where you been, but you gotta get with the times! It stands for "cuisine courier company." We bring food freshly made from restaurants right to our customer's doorstep. Android and drones may be takin' over the industry, but some people still prefer a nice, charmin' human like me to deliver to 'em.

Services losing all human interaction is a big controversy right now...

An order just came in, but the part-timer assigned to that route scrammed without so much as a see-ya!

I've got my own delivery to make goin' the other way, so can you get this one to where it's gotta go? I'll pay you fair and square!

Ay, I never know where I am either, only how fast I'm goin'. This device will guide ya with its voice every step of the way.

When the deed's done, I'll meet you at the tavern! Now get it there while it's still...lukewarm!

Suzuné, wait! Do you want us to...

Although she was looking for work and his business is legitimate, it does somewhat feel like she was "hustled."

Suzuné is just too good-natured. She wants to please people, which makes it hard for her to say no. I just hope she doesn't get taken advantage of or dragged into trouble from this job...

How ironic it is for you, Aldo, to wish others are not dragged into trouble...

Does it happen to me...that often? Never mind. Should we follow after her?

I do not think so. This experience may be invaluable for Suzuné to acclimatize to her new futuristic environment. For now it may be best for us to just wait for her at the tavern.

That's a good point. Let's go wait.

Make way! Coming through!

Yeah, he just caught me off guard. What's going on?

A scam artist? That is worrisome. Please be on more than your usual guard, Aldo.

Why is that worrisome for me? Wait, do you think I'm gullible?

The definition of the word may very well have your name in it...

You made it back! Did you run into any problems along the way?

Was the customer rude to you? If you are harassed in any way, it is important not to show any signs of weakness.

Ayyy, sorry to keep ya waitin'! There was this thing and that thing... It's been a busy day! How'd your first delivery go?

Glad to hear it! Am I glad to hear it? If that means good, then that's the strangest good I've ever heard in my entire life. But it musta been good. The online reviews you got from the store and customer were about as high as they come!

They even said you took some time to chat with 'em and it made their day!

That's what bein' a human courier's all about y'know? Buildin' connections and interactin' with the community and all that!

That does sound right up your alley, Suzuné.

Well, what would you say to puttin' that talent to use and fillin' your purse in the process?

Eh, well, to be frank, we were short-handed even before that guy bailed on us today. We're in the middle of expandin' too...

Actually, you wouldn't happen to know any friends or family that'd be interested, would ya? It's a stable job with solid pay!

H-How did you, where did, huh?!

...Suzuné? Suzunés? What is this?

Will it scratch the people's itch?!

We just talked about how important human interaction is. Can that...other you...connect with customers just as good as you can?

Are you a food poisoning delivery service?

You know what, what am I grillin' you for? I'm desperate. If you can do the jobs of two people and do 'em well, I'll pay you double.

After taking the offer, Suzuné tested the limits of her commendable work ethic. She worked, and she worked, and then she worked some more. As a courier, she excelled at delivering each package with precision and efficiency. As a human, her sincerity and good nature fostered connections with her customers, and she happily conversed with them all. She became an overnight courier sensation, with many customers going so far as to personally request for her when ordering. Which may have been the catalyst for all of the subsequent...regrettable mess to follow...

Have you heard from or seen Suzuné as of late?

Not recently. She seems so busy with her delivery job. I heard she's become pretty popular, but I hope that hasn't made it harder for her...

Ay, it's you two again!

Oh, Suzuné's area manager. Have you seen her around at all?

Nah, well, not in-person. Pretty much all our communication is over terminal nowadays. But hey, let me tell you she is doin' great! Her reviews are through the roof, and so are company profits!

I suppose that is good to hear...

But if you're lookin' for her...last I heard she rented a couple o' rooms over in the Theta District. If you do some snoopin' in the area, you might get lucky and bump into her.

Since when did, ?! This is the first I've heard of this...

Shall we go do some snooping?

Both of you! Stop where you are!

...Us?

Wait... Haven't I seen you two before?

Oh, at the tavern! You were chasing after that scam artist, right?

Ah, yes. As a matter of fact, we have just pinpointed where he's been in hiding this whole time...

This house, right here.

As we speak, my unit has this place utterly surrounded. All that remains is to draw the culprit out from his hole.

Wow...

...Forgive my ignorance, but is the amount of resources dedicated to catching this man the same for all scam artists?

Not at all. But this criminal in particular has an extensive record and has been extremely hard to catch so far.

This...is your house, Suzuné?

You mean to say you are on more than one lease at once? That is good news. You must surely have saved up enough money to start your undertaking business then.

Really, why is that?

Actually, explain later! Inside this house, there's...

Shh! Don't blow our cover! If he realizes we are here, the operation could fail!

I'm sorry to ask this of you, miss, but your... friend? Roommate? ...Whoever lives here, could you lure them outside?

Exactly what kind of scam was this guy involved in anyway?

He's a serial romance scammer...

...I could not have made that prediction.

...Did Suzuné answer the officer's question about what kind of relationship she has with the man inside?

Two consenting adults, never mind. I don't feel right discussing a topic this provocative with you...

Huh? But I ain't didn't do nothin' wrong.

This isn't our guy...

'Course I ain't. Look at me! I'm as innocent as a guy can get!

Hey, Suzuné, since you're here, couldja slip me some cash to pay for transportation to that part-time job interview?

Yeah, sure, yeah yeah, absolutely! I ain't won't use it for playin' no more!

Hold on, miss. Does anyone else live in this house?

Suzunééé, I'm hungryyy! Can I have money to order food, pleaseee?

Are these guys...

Yes. People like this are commonly referred to as "moochers."

It's not him either. I don't suppose...there's anyone else?

Sue! Can you lend me just a little bit more? I swear I can feel a win in my bones today!

B-But today I feel it in my bones, skin, and blood! If I can just get one big win, I'll be able to work hard for the rest of my days!

Not our guy! Next!

Suzuné... Going out... Need money...

Wrong! Next!

Yoo-hoo, Suzuné! I wanted to repay your kindness by writing you a song! ...Could you buy me a few instruments?

Next!

I have a selfless request! My friend's dream concert's coming up, but tickets are pricey... Can you help me help his dream come true?

Alright, I've had it! Enough is enough, all of you! I can't sit quiet and watch a bunch of fully grown men mooch off of a hard-working woman! Have you no shame?!

Geeeez. Chill out, maaan.

Since when did wanting to make beautiful music for someone become a crime? Hmph!

I-It's...not a crime! But still! Do none of you feel any remorse for...

Is that you, my Suzu-boo-boo? Have you come at last to elope...

Th-That's him!

...Gotta go!

Damn it! I was distracted!

He's a scam artist! He's stolen both time and money from countless women!

Eek!

You're under arrest!

The suspect is now safely in our custody. Thank you for your cooperation.

Is everyone else free to go? I'm asking for the other guys, of course...

No, and we know you're asking for yourself! We still need to confirm that none of you were connected to that man or his crimes. Now, if you'd all be so kind as to follow me back to the station.

I guess it's not my lucky day...

I'm sorry to have to ask this, but could you come back to the Gamma District with us as well? It's just a formality.

Yeah. No problem.

We were really worried about you, Suzuné...

No need to apologize, but after the EGPD finishes their investigation, we would like to hear your side of the story.

Definitely. Let's head to the Gamma District right away for the interrogation.

...She's a good person. She couldn't have...

Thank you for the information you've shared here today.

This was no case of aiding and abetting! I assure you, Suzuné is simply too selfless and generous for her own good.

...This ain't a joke, right? Havin' a fraudster right under your nose the whole time, that's some scary stuff!

I'm just glad he was caught.

A slight deviation from the current topic... How exactly are you acquainted with all of the other men in that house?

So that's what happened...

Your sympathetic and tolerant nature must have seemed irresistible to them. So you lived with all these men...

They're all down on their luck?

...Was it luck? It just looked like they were freeloading to me...

You built a pressure-cooker full of leeches... I would not willingly enter such a place.

Though I do not judge you for taking on so many lovers...

For plausible deniability's sake, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that last one, but it seems like your intentions were pure.

I guess the romance scammer experienced a flop...

Well, we can all be glad Suzuné wasn't hurt in the process.

Not physically, but financially... I guess now we know where all her undertaker savings went...

(It's hard to argue with that...)

Ay, that's a good call!

Whaddaya need?

Where's Sue?! She's my good luck charm!

We don't even have a house anymore... What are we meant to do, form a boyband?

Mom's... Basement...

Aw, maaan. I don't like my mom's cooking...

Yeesh, your whinin' and moanin' is worse than I imagined!

If ya need a spot to squat, I can get you all situated; food can be arranged.

Y-You ain't bein' unserious, right?!

I ain't finished talkin' yet! If ya want all that then you gotta earn it by workin' for me deliverin' food! You're gonna sweat, grow calluses on them soft hands, and feel a sense of achievement for the first time in your entitled lives!

...Food can be arranged?

Better than mom's... Might as well...

Give me a route with lots of shortcuts!

Ayyy, now that's more like it.

Alright, listen up!

All the info you need is on your terminals! Now get your lazy behinds out there and make me proud!

Hey, maybe on this route I can find some lonely benefactor willing to take me in... T-To keep them company, for their sake!

I hope my customer's a sweet lady with a sweet voice!

Whoa, hey! Don't be sayin' weird stuff like that to our customers!

Do you think...they've changed at all?

I am not convinced. A wheel that curves left cannot turn right without brute force.