A Worthless Place

Excuse me!

Huh? Me?

Yes! This is for you. We're giving them away for free for a limited time only.

Huh? Is that...Kumos?

Oh, you know of it already? Perhaps my manager was more diligent with his work than I thought.

Well, it looks a little different from the Kumos I know...

Yes indeed! This is the revamped New Kumos. It has a new look and new functions.

New Kumos?

Excuse me, sir! Can I interest you in our New Kumos? For a limited time only...

She's gone...

What's going on here? Why did she call it "New Kumos"?

Hmm... Very strange. I'd better go to the office and ask Yakumo about it.

How are you getting along with your first subordinate? Everything is going well, I trust?

Um... Yes.

Yakumo! Oh, is this a customer?

Aldo? Sorry, but I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

No, it's fine. I was just finishing up here anyway.

I take it you're the temp? Aldo, was it? Yakumo told me all about you. It's nice to meet you.

Huh? Oh, yeah...

PHEW!

The old geezer's finally gone! I thought I was gonna suffocate there!

I only said to keep quiet while the Branch Chief was here. Not to hold your breath.

Branch Chief?

Yeah, that was the new Branch Chief. Successor to the old one.

Oh, I see...

For him to come all the way out to the office, it must have been important?

Well...

It's nice to meet you, Yakumo.

It's nice to meet you, too. There was no need for you to come all the way out here just to say hello though...

You prefer video conferencing? My predecessor certainly seemed to, before his disappearance... I, however, prefer the personal touch. I like to talk to my employees face-to-face.

Oh... I understand. (But video conferencing is so much easier for me...)

Besides, I have something important to tell you, and I'd rather do it in person.

Something...important?

Yes. I'm thinking of returning you to the branch office.

Huh?

WHAAAT?! Are you for real, buddy? What's gonna happen to this office?

Kumos, shh! I told you to be quiet!

I'm very sorry, Sir. This idiot has no manners...

Oh, so this is the talking AI mascot I've heard so much about? What a lively little guy.

This division will stay put. There's no sense in abolishing something with such excellent results. However, if you wish, we can work with HR to get you transferred to a different division.

I believe you originally wanted to be a researcher, is that correct?

(I can return to the branch office?)

However, there is one condition. I would like to put your communication skills to the test.

M-My com...

Communication skills?

Whichever division you transfer to, you will be working as part of a team. As you've been working alone in the Dynamic Dust City Division, I would like to check that you're up to it. As of tomorrow, I will be assigning you a subordinate.

A-A subordinate? But I...

There's nothing to worry about. She's new to the company, but she's an excellent employee. Act as her boss, show her the ropes. If there are no issues, I'll return you to the branch office. I promise.

Besides, it was always odd that you were the only one assigned to this remote location.

I hope you don't mind me asking... Did something happen between you and my predecessor?

No, nothing springs to mind.

Okay then. Well, good luck.

You can return to the branch office? That's great news!

Ordinarily, I'd agree with you.

You don't look so happy about it. Don't you want to go back?

To be honest, I'm worried. I don't know if leaving this town and going back to the branch office will lead to a better future for me.

I don't care where we go, so long as we get to make some trouble. Problem is, that new chick we've got sure is insolent...

Who's insolent?

Eep! That voice...

Honestly. You sure have a foul mouth for a mascot.

Oh? I know you.

You must be Yakumo's new subordinate. I'm Aldo. Sometimes I swing by to help out Yakumo. Nice to meet you.

Oh, I see. I'm Cisca.

You two know each other?

Well, not really. We met in town and she gave me this.

What the heck? It's a gold me?!

Hey, lady! What d'you think you're doing by making an inferior copy of me?

How rude! I developed this new model myself. It's not inferior, it's an improvement!

A new Kumos?

Yes. This New Kumos is more than a simple talking doll.

It has all kinds of useful features, including a camera, voice recorder, and an alarm.

Plus it looks so classy! It's bound to be far more popular than the old model.

Ooh! Then we can get 'em to trade in their old models for a special price and⁠...

Wait! Who're you calling an "old model"?!

It also won't yell at people.

Wha?! Grrr...

Yakumooo! Give this chick a talking to, will ya?

Well, setting aside the question of its appearance for a second... It's not actually a bad idea to give the mascot useful day-to-day functions.

Ye-whahhh? Hey! Who's side are you on? Are you abandoning me?!

Come on now. Either way, Kumos is still Kumos.

Right, Yakumo?

......

......

(What's with the atmosphere here?)

I will say one thing. I'd rather you didn't act without asking first. You didn't tell me you were making a new Kumos. Can you fill me in?

Perhaps you should trust in your subordinates to get their work done.

Unlike you, I want to see results quickly. Then I can return to the branch office.

What?

Doesn't it frustrate you? Being assigned to a place like this is practically a demotion, surely?

That's none of your business. You think you know me?

No, I don't. And you're not interested in me either, right?

Look, I'm going to get results, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get them.

Well, that didn't go well.

I'd go so far as to say it went terribly.

Ugh, she's not such a cutie after all. Who does she think she is, making a fake me?

I should never be replaced! Not in a million, billion years! You hear?

Stop it, Kumos. Such a gaudy doll won't be popular anyway. Let's just do our job, as per usual.

Are you sure you can just leave her? I thought things had to go well with your subordinate? Plus, it seemed like she was worrying about something.

Who cares. She said to leave it to her, so I'm leaving it to her.

Besides, I doubt she'd listen to me anyway.

O-Okay. Let's go out then.

Grr! I'm not happy about this! The whole town's full of those stupid fakes!

They seem to be going down well, too.

They're free. Most people like free stuff. Especially when it's pushed on them by someone that zealous.

True... Even I took one.

If the fake goes mainstream, does that make me the fake?

Don't you find it strange? Cisca's only been here a few days, right? How's she managed to manufacture and distribute so many all on her own?

That's not all. They must be pretty expensive to produce. I manage the budget, so where's the money coming from?

Hmm... Good point...

Hey, you! You gonna pay up or what?

What are you talking about? I was given this for free!

Ain't nothin' free in this world, buddy.

Eee!

Is there some kind of trouble here?

Hey, you keep outta this!

Wait... Aren't you from that KMS Dynamic whatever?

The Dynamic Kumos Worship Division! That's us!

It's the Dynamic Dust City Division. What about it?

Heh. You're in luck, buddy.

What was all that about? Why did he just leave? He couldn't have been a Dust Lover...

You. Why was he asking you for money?

U-Um... This young lady came up to me just now and gave me this doll.

Golden monkeys are good luck, right? That's why I took it.

MONKEY? URGHHH! Do I look like a monkey to you?

Then that guy turned up and started threatening me, telling me to pay up.

This whole thing must've been a scam! That woman and him, they're in on it together!

Cisca and that thug? What's going on here?

Ooh, this just got interesting. Somethin' smells fishy about her, Yakumo.

Could she be...

Yes, this is Yakumo. Understood. I'll be there right away.

That was Chief. He wants me to go back to the office.

The Chief? Do you think...

I have a really bad feeling about this. I guess it's back to the office for me.

Ah, there you are.

Did Chief call you in, too?

Yes. I'm sure he wants to express his appreciation over the fact that New Kumos is taking off so well. Isn't this great? Thanks to me, you might be able to return to the branch office sooner than expected.

Oh, right. That...

Good, you're both here.

Chief! Have you taken a look around town?

Yes. Was that golden Kumos your idea?

Yes! I was cognizant of the need for it to fit with residents' daily⁠...

What have you done?!

Huh?

The branch office is flooded with complaints! People are claiming they were given a free doll, only to be charged extortionate rates for it!

And that they were being threatened by thugs!

Th-There must be some mistake! I don't know anything about any thugs!

But you don't deny that others are involved? Your rush to succeed has been your undoing. It was foolish to join up with those people. If this becomes public, you will both be fired. I won't be able to do anything to protect you.

As of this moment, the Dynamic Dust City Division is officially abolished.

A-Abolished?

I can't believe this...

Cisca is responsible for this. However, as her boss, you are responsible for her actions.

It is a shame indeed. But you understand, don't you, Yakumo?

......

Technically, I should dismiss you. But there is still time for you resign voluntarily.

As in, quit the company?

Yes. It's practically the same as being fired.

You're kidding me? You're unemployed now?

This is all your fault, lady! Yakumo isn't gonna be able to afford to eat now! He's gonna waste away!

Calm down, Kumos. We still don't know for sure that it's her.

No, it is.

It's all my fault!

Hey, Cisca!

After her, Yakumo!

What's the point? She's already admitted it's her fault. What more is there to do?

Still, I don't think she was lying. Do you? Do you really not trust her?

......

I don't trust people unconditionally like you do.

As against that...

I do find it hard to believe that even an obstinate blockhead like her would be doing dodgy dealings.

Yakumo!

Why is it my responsibility? I've held out this long. I'm not about to accept being fired now.

Besides, people who use violence to demand money from the weak are a blight on humanity.

They've really gotten on my nerves now. I'm going to find them and smash them to smithereens.

Heheh! That's the spirit, buddy!

Now that that's decided, let's follow Cis⁠...

No, not Cisca. In a situation like this, it's always best to go to the experts.

The experts? You mean...

We're going to the Dust Lovers' office. Come on!

Not you again. What are you doing here? I thought we decided to keep out of each other's ways.

Oh, my sweet! How I burn with love for⁠...

Stop talking, or I burn you for real.

Trust me, I want to see you as little as you want to see me. But I have something to ask.

Oh you do, do you? You and I seem to view our relationship quite differently.

Remember this, White Collar. We may have been defeated, but we didn't yield to you. Now that we're clear on that point, get out of here.

Wait! This concerns you as⁠...

Just drop it, Aldo. I was wrong to expect anything of them.

They're failures who can't even stop their own turf from being exploited. We don't need them.

What did you just say?

Surely you know about those scammers going around, forcing people to pay for tasteless dolls? If you don't want to talk, see if I care. We'll deal with them ourselves.

Tch. You are a real pain in the neck.

Fine, I'll tell you. You're talking about the Trash Truthers.

The Trash...Truthers?

They've been trying to move into Dust City for a while now. They're total cockroaches. We've always been able to deal with their attempts to encroach on our space in the past, but now...

As soon as I get rid of one thorn in my side, another one appears? Where is their hideout?

In the basement of the city.

The basement? Okay, leave this to us.

Wait! I still need to let you know how passionately I ache for you...

Hmph...

What is it, Aldo?

I was just wondering how Cisca and this Trash Truther gang could be connected.

Who knows. If she really was backed by them, there are a couple of explanations.

Hey, you!

Aren't you that guy from earlier? What's wrong? Why so flustered?

I got caught up with them again. They took me down into the basement... Then the lady who gave me that doll jumped out, telling me to run away.

What?!

I know she's an acquaintance of yours, so I thought I'd better tell you.

Tch. That idiot!

Aldo, Kumos, we've gotta run!

To the basement!

What is the meaning of this?

That's supposed to be my line. We fulfilled our end of the deal. Why are you making trouble for us? We manufactured all those dolls for you. We even helped distribute them. We've done everything you asked for, so what's the problem?

You're threatening residents! You're demanding money off of them!

Well, how exactly do you intend to return the profits to us, your investors?

Um... I thought that since it was an upfront investment, you'd collect the profits later?

Yes. And that "later" is now.

You tricked me! You promised a mutually beneficial contract!

Contract? Ah, yes.

When that little mascot becomes popular, we get to be its sole distributors? Is that what you mean?

Heheh! How stupid can you get? Who would invest in something so dumb?

What?

Sorry, lady. I really couldn't care less about the cost of these dolls. It's nothing to us. We Trash Truthers just used you so that we could establish ourselves in Dust City.

Trash Truthers?

I-I don't understand! What does my work have to do with your organization?

The Dust Lovers dominated Dust City for years, but just like that, they're gone. To us, as good news as it is, it's also cause for concern.

We decided to investigate. And imagine my surprise... It turns out that some white collar loser named Yakumo overthrew their gang all by himself.

M-My boss?

But we have a collaborator. If we follow his plan, we can drive Yakumo out of the city without a fight. Your coming to town was part of that plan. Basically, we were using you from the very beginning.

Hey lady, you got a death wish? You don't slap the boss!

Hmph. You're that upset about being deceived?

No. It was my own fault that I was tricked.

I'm upset because you trample on the dignity of others as if it's nothing! Who do you think you are?

Dignity? Bugs on a trash pile don't have any dignity.

Men! Go tie this little lady up somewhere. Make sure she can't escape!

I'm sorry, Yakumo...

There's no point in apologizing if the other person isn't there to hear it.

What the?!

Cisca, are you okay?

Aldo! And Yakumo? What are you doing here?

We're working, obviously. Apparently protecting one's subordinates is part of a boss's job.

Oh, so you're the famous Yakumo? The one who toppled the Dust Lovers?

I am. I'm just an office worker, who unlike you, knows the meaning of hard work. And this office worker is going to absolutely annihilate you.

We'll see about that. We've made preparations of our own.

I-Is that the Dust Lovers' machine?

Yes. But we've made our own little improvements to it.

We should have just done this from the start! Much easier than all that scheming. Get him!

Bring it on, you dirtbag! Any enemy of my beauty is an enemy of me! Its weak point is the eyes! Aim for the eyes!

Don't be stupid. Do machines even have eyes?

I will make you regret ever crossing us.

Let's go!

N-No way... How are you so strong?

Now spit it out. Who is your collaborator?

Just kill me. You're dead meat either way. The others will be heading here already.

What?

Or are you going to try to torture me? Heheh. You don't have it in you, office boy.

Oh, but I do.

M-My beauty!

Agh! It's the Dust Lovers boss!

You...

Hmph. Extracting information is my main job. Leave it to me and you'll have all you need before the day is out.

I'll even serve you his head on a platter.

Eep!

Okay, okay! I'll tell you everything! Please, don't do this!

He's coming with me. I still have questions for him.

Do whatever you like with him. We've asked everything we wanted to. Though, what are you planning to do? If you're even thinking about rebuilding your organization...

Don't underestimate me. I won't flounder, not now. I won't hand this city over to them. So long as I'm alive, I will fulfill my responsibility. That's all.

How can someone that fine be that cool? My sweet, my heart is yours forever...

Looks like the Trash Truthers won't be a problem anymore.

Yakumo, have you been dealing with people like that this whole time?

Not exactly. It just...happens from time to time. I'm going back to the office. I still have work to do.

I really am so sorry. This was all my fault.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's those people who tricked you who are to blame.

No, she is also to blame.

Huh?

Cisca, did you feel out of place over in the branch office?

What?

You're stubborn in your thinking, you always speak your mind, and you never read the room. Those aren't generally popular traits. Chief said you were an excellent worker... But I think you were sent here because they didn't know what else to do with you.

S-Surely it's the same for you? Isn't that why you're here?

Yeah. That's why I understand.

......

You're right. About everything.

Cisca...

I've always been this way. I don't fit in, I go against my superiors, I'm always getting told off. I knew HR was just trying to get rid of me. That's why I jumped at that opportunity, suspicious as it was.

I thought that if I worked hard and got results, maybe they would appreciate me. I guess I was wrong.

Indeed. Results are all that matter.

And the results are in. You colluded with a gangster organization and damaged the company.

......

Now what is this urgent business you called me here for? I'm a very busy man.

Aldo...

Got it.

Have you prepared for your voluntary resignation? If you go now, it will still be your choice.

But we have a collaborator. If we follow his plan, we can drive Yakumo out of the city without a fight.

Huh? Where did that voice come from?

From the doll. It has a voice recorder.

Are you messing with me right now? You brought me all the way here for⁠...

It was the new head of the KMS branch office who approached the Trash Truthers.

What?!

The previous head was connected to the Dust Lovers. He built himself a strong position using that. Couldn't have been fun for the guy gunning for his office. So he tried to set the Trash Truthers on the Dust Lovers.

This is outrageous!

Just shut up and listen. I put my life on the line to get this recording.

He knew Yakumo was involved in the disappearance of his predecessor, so he feared for his own safety. He decided to get rid of Yakumo by destroying his entire division. But you can't abolish a division that's getting good results. He had to fabricate a wrongdoing. He transferred that girl to the division so that we could use her as a pawn...

Enough! Stop this.

You planned this whole thing, didn't you? All to drive out Yakumo.

I did. I thought I was being discreet, but it appears I stepped on the tiger's tail.

What is it you want, Yakumo? If you wish to get ahead in life, I can find you a suitable post. Or will you denounce me and erase me from the center stage of society like you did my predecessor?

You got it wrong, old man. The other Chief didn't⁠...

Nah, never mind.

What do I want? What I want...

Work's out! We're freee! I need some excitement, and I need it now!

Come on, Yakumo! Let's go do somethin' fun!

Be quiet. I'm busy. I have to collect those golden monkeys.

Don't call them monkeys! Even though I guess...they're not really me...

Hi, Yakumo. How's collecting the New Kumoses been going?

Not well. A lot of people don't want to give them up.

Haha! Sounds like it's more popular than Kumos after all.

Nuh-uh! Just 'cause it looks nice and does a load of neat tricks... Oh... Well, that's a blow to the self-esteem.

Even if we don't get them all back, I wouldn't worry about it.

After all, the most senior person in the company can't say a word against us. Heheheh...

You mean the Branch Chief? Are you sure it was right to leave him be? What if he tries to go target you in some other way?

It'll be fine. Self-serving men like him are always cowards at heart. If anything, this office is safer than ever. I know his weakness now.

I see...

What I want...is for this division to stay.

That's it?

No. There's one more thing.

Transfer her to whichever department she desires.

Wha? Wh-Why would you...

Why? Because you said you wanted to go back.

B-But... You said I wasn't suited to the organization.

No I didn't. Suitability isn't something that other people get to decide for you. Besides, if you're crazy brave enough to stand up to an underworld boss, you can cope in any office.

Huh?

If you want to return, then do so. If you don't, then don't. You decide where you go.

...... I...

Cisca went back to the branch office, right? You must feel lonely without her.

No, I feel relieved.

She doesn't listen, she's over- confident and over-enthusiastic. I can't cope with people like her. Just thinking about her gives me a stomach ache. Having subordinates is so much hassle.

Really? I think you make a pretty good boss.

How could you possibly think that?

You may have clashed a lot, but in the end, you gave Cisca the push she needed. You may not be the type to say these things out loud, but you can still be encouraging.

Tch. That was my worst nightmare. I hate having to do things I'm not used to.

Haha! Don't I know it!

You know, I was kinda surprised that you wanted to keep this office.

This whole thing has made me realize. I'm much better suited to this city than I am branch office.

I told you before that you shine so bright. I've always been jealous of you. You're special, you have something I lack.

Do you still think that way now?

Of course I do. Just not as much as before.

I want to be able to look forward to tomorrow. But I won't change over night, and neither will the world. That's why I decided to protect what I want to protect, to the best of my ability. What you want to protect is probably some huge thing. More important than I could possibly imagine. But for me...

All I want is this tiny, little office. This will do for now, at least.

I think that's great. Besides, when you want to protect something, there's no such thing as big or small.

Ugh. We've been talking too long.

That's enough chit-chat. Time to get back to business.

......

Kumos? Hellooo?

Gah?!

You were talking so long, I fell asleep. What did you wanna protect again?

Ugh, can't you spend the rest of your life asleep? Then I'd finally get some peace and quiet.