Living Shamelessly

Shhh! We're at the inn already. You're gonna disturb the other guests.

That's nice. Now lie down on the bed, okay? I'm gonna call a doctor...

Or I could just get you a big glass of water to get you to throw up? Maybe then you'd start to feel better...

Three of us? You're not even seeing straight! That's it, you're going to bed!

Wh-What's wrong?

Wait, I'll get you water and medicine! Or should I get you a bucket? Look, just don't throw up on the bed, okay?

How could this have happened? It can't be...

I can't believe it. There weren't even any signs...

Hey, you know what happened right? Can you tell us how he died?

Can I ask you to keep watch for monsters?

I couldn't protect him in life, so if I can protect him in death, well, it's the least I could do...

Then let's go. I'll take you to the tavern in Rinde where I met him.

You know, you brought me so much trouble, I swore next time I saw you I was gonna let you have it... But here I am, and there you are and now I can't even find the words...

Oh dear. What is that outfit? What an embarrassing way to waste away...

Whoa!

Great, now my floral arrangement is all ruined!

Okay, what can you tell us about the circumstances surrounding Dunarith's death?

It happened last night...

I was drinking alone when he came in. I've seen him perform in the tavern before, so I recognized him right away.

...Yes, this was definitely my last stop of the night.

Oh, Aldo! Boy, what a sight for dead eyes!

Ah, right. I guess he can't hear me.

He was getting more and more juiced as the night went on. He even started pestering the other customers. He'd sing a song, then grab other people's snacks, claiming it was in lieu of a tip.

Yes, I imagine that's pretty standard behavior for him.

Hey! I make sure they aren't going to eat it first! You make it sound like I'm a thief!

Everyone seemed to find his food-snatching amusing...

But then he noticed I hadn't finished my drink. "If you're not gonna drink that, I'll have it." he says.

He took your drink?

It's not how it sounds! He hadn't taken a single sip the whole time! I figured he didn't like it...

I thought I was doing him a favor...

Deplorable. Absolutely deplorable.

He seemed unsteady on his feet, so I helped him to the inn and got him to bed... Then he suddenly took a turn for the worse and started puking.

Oh. I see what happened...

He must have puked in his sleep. That'll be what killed him.

You can die from throwing up in your sleep?!

Oh yes. It gets into your windpipe and chokes you in your sleep. In my line of work, I've seen many a customer go that way.

It's a bad way to go.

If you don't get help in time, you choke to death. But even if you do get help...

The puke gets into the lungs, leading to pneumonia and then...

That's awful. So if you puke in your sleep, you're done for either way?

No way, that can't be true! If something like that could kill you, I wouldn't have lived this long!

Well, uh... The thing is...

There's one way to save them.

Really?!

Really. My husband once went through the same thing...

Aldo, I'm sorry to say this, but no advice can make any difference now.

He's already dead. He died choking on his own puke.

Whoa, whoa, stop saying that word! I can't die from something so embarrassing!

How am I supposed to explain this to Mazrika and Zeviro?

Um? Something up?

No, no. It's nothing.

One last thing, why bury him at the Serena Coast?

I mean, I'd only just met the guy. I didn't know a thing about him...

He may have been a regular here, but he never said a word about his family or where he was from or anything.

Though we only met by chance, I think it was fate that I was there for him at his end. I wanted to give him a proper burial, even if it was done in the customs of my home and not his.

Your home... Interesting.

There's a legend where I come from, that souls ride on waves of sound as they journey to the world beyond.

So, we bury them near the sea and send them off with lots of flowers, bright clothes, and music.

Each region has such different funeral traditions.

As he was such a merry bard, I like to think he would approve. And luckily, I already had the flowers on hand.

Flowers and music, eh? Yeah, I can live with that. Sounds like a nice journey.

I see. Then allow me to help. I'm an undertaker by trade, so I'm sure I can be of some assistance.

I know nothing about funerals, but Dunarith was my traveling companion. I'd like to leave him some flowers.

By all means. I'm sure he'd be glad to have a friend visit.

Then we'll go back to the Serena Coast and pay our respects.

Hm? Oh, you guys. What's the matter?

We found out what happened, so we came back to pay our respects. Do you mind if we help you with the flowers?

Well, I'm surprised that juiced-up screwup of a bard had such decent friends, but...

I'm sure he'd prefer to be adorned by his own friends, and not some stranger he just met... You okay handling the rest?

Sure. We'll try to do him proud. Thanks.

Oh yeah, what happened to the other guy?

Other guy?

Yeah, the young man you were talking to. He seemed pretty down in the dumps lately.

This tragedy striking someone he knew is hardly likely to help matters... He's so sincere, he probably blames himself. I bet he thinks it's his fault the guy drank so much.

Poor guy. Okay, we'll keep an eye on him.

Thanks. Well, I'll leave you to it, then...

All right, let's finish this up...

He looks so peaceful. It's hard to imagine he actually died choking on his own puke.

Well, looks like I can stop pretending I can't hear you now.

I'm not your brother. Don't call me that. Bran told me to come here as fast as I could.

I thought a man with your exact face turning up at your funeral might freak a few people out.

Dunarith? What's going on?

Ah, right... I guess you can't see him.

This is more of a scythe wielder's job, so I don't know how well this will work. But here goes...

Huh?! Dunarith?!

Is this...Dunarith's soul?

I wouldn't go that far...

But I'm so glad to see you again, Dunarith! And you're alive!

Wait, I guess you're not... If you're a soul, then you must have really...

It's hard to say for sure. He's certainly a soul right now, but he's not this way because he died unwilling to move on.

Really?!

Wait, you don't even know what's going on yourself? Look, you're in a very peculiar state now. You're in suspended animation. Your soul has left your body.

Suspended animation? But Dunarith, you said yourself he died in the tavern, right?

I did, but only to avoid causing a scene by admitting the truth in front of all those people. Besides, it was pretty amusing to watch him panic.

I think I'm owed a little chuckle at your expense, don't you agree? Especially after all the trouble you've caused.

Great, now let's try to get to the bottom of this.

Why did you die?

Anything else that could have caused it?

My money's on the young man.

The one who took Dunarith back to the inn? But he said he looked after him while he was...incapacitated. He sounded like a good guy to me.

I don't know. Who goes to the trouble of arranging a funeral for someone they only met the night before? He had flowers and clothes all prepared. It's almost like he knew there was going to be a funeral.

Any idea why?

Perhaps he owned a tavern that went bankrupt because you never paid your tab.

This is no laughing matter!

You don't remember anything? Didn't you talk while you were drinking together?

I think this will be quicker if we just ask him. Still, I don't expect him to be honest with us. If only there was a way to draw the truth out of him...

Okay. Let's go see if we can get him to talk.

Ugh... What do I do...

Whaa?! Wh-What was that?!

...youuur fauuult...

It's aaall youuur fauuult... That I'm deaaad...

Eek! N-No! I-It's not my fault!

Yes, it iiis. It's aaall your fauuult! I must have my reveeenge!

I didn't do it on purpose! You grabbed my drink without asking!

So you kiiilled meee?! Over one measly drink?!

No! But that drink was only ever meant for me! There was poison in it!

Poison?

I-I wanted to end my life... But when it came to it, I was too scared... So I never touched my drink.

Ah. And then I took your untouched poison and gulped it all down.

Ultimately, the cause of your death was your own interminable gluttony.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's hardly fair! How was I supposed to know there was poison in it?

To be fair, every drink you glug down is poison to your body.

H-Hey, um... Wh-What is going on here?

We were putting on a little show to get the truth out of you.

Huh? Then you're not dead?

No, no. I'm definitely dead. See? I'm all transparent and everything.

Eeep! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!

Don't worry, he's just in suspended animation. If we treat him, he'll come back to life soon enough.

O-Oh, th-that's incredible... Thank goodness he's not dead...

Incredible my invisible left foot! You got any idea how much pain you've put me through?!

I'm so sorry...

Anyway, why would you want to end your life? I don't see any debt collectors chasing you. And the guys at the tavern seem to care about you. Looks like you lead an honest life.

Honest? Oh, if only...

No, I'm just a screwup who's always changing jobs, moving around and never getting anything right...

A screwup, eh? Sounds a lot like myself...

Hey! You're supposed to deny it!

......

You could always return home. It sounds like a jolly place to live, judging from their funereal customs.

No, my older brothers took over the family business, so there's no place for me there now. Besides, "jolly" isn't really my thing.

(Yet he chose to lay himself to rest following their customs? How curious...)

As useless as I am, I tried my best to help others as best I could...

But nobody needs me. So what's the point in living anymore?

Don't say that...

Right, consider yourself lucky.

If you'd drunk your poisoned juice, you'd be the one stuck in suspended animation right now.

No, you're right... Not only did I fail to help you, look how much trouble I caused...

You don't need to feel responsible for his death.

Still, the fact that the drink failed to kill him leads me to think you didn't get your dosage right.

There's no way! I know I measured out more than enough poison to do the job!

Maybe you did, but then you put it in your juice.

Are you saying that it somehow counteracted the poison?

Not quite. But hasn't a doctor ever told you...not to take medicine with juice?

I once totally saw red when I downed my medicine with a smoothie for this, um, particularly bad headache I had. Turns out, it has a real impact on the efficacy, making it stronger or weaker depending on the medicine.

Are you equating medicine to poison?

Well, dosage is the key to both. Luckily this time, the effect was to make the poison weaker.

Oh, I see... I didn't know that. I've only ever taken my medicine with hot water.

Haha! What a little goody-two-shoes, hanging on your doctor's every word!

Um, you're SUPPOSED to listen to your doctor.

Yeah, whatever. The point is, juice saved the day, and my life. Guess that makes you pretty lucky, too.

How could I call myself lucky after all the trouble I've caused?

You are too serious, you know. Or perhaps you're just stubborn. Either way...

This is what happens when your blunder has deadly, or near-deadly, consequences. Even if this is easily resolved, he'll be terrified of making the same mistake again.

Sure, a little self-reflection is great and all, but this is taking it too far.

By the way, I was thinking...

You mind if we go ahead with my funeral? Since it's all prepped and ready to go and all...

You're ready to die?

Heck no! But it's not every day you get to experience your own funeral. I want to see what it's like.

Oh, but there's some folks I'd really like to be there. Aldo, you mind delivering some invitations?

Of course, but... Are you sure about this? If you die for real...

I'm not gonna die! Not as long as you want me to stay alive.

Now, Brother. Would you mind helping me out? It'll be in your interest...

Why do I feel like I'm about to get swindled?

Relax, okay? Just listen to what I have to say...

All right, we've got our lyrics, so now it's time to sing! May we meet again at the Serena Coast!

Why did you have to die?

I can't believe it... He said he'd come see me soon...

*sniff* If I'd known he was going to die so soon, I would have gone to see him again...

You said you were a screwup, but you were clearly really loved. Just look how many people turned up to mourn your death...

How dare you die before you've paid off your tab! What if I go out of business because of you?!

Don't think death'll save you from paying your debts! I'll come collect them in the afterlife, just you wait!

Pay me back for those drinks! You said you'd pay me back! You're the worst!

Nobody's even remotely sad... What did you do to deserve such venom at your own funeral?

I don't think that's for you to say.

He's getting a send-off with flowers and music? A filthy bill-dodger like him doesn't deserve any music!

The only music he deserves is the sound of our grumbling! If you don't like it, come out and play your own damn requiem!

With pleasure.

Who said that?

What the?! Did the bard's body just move?

N-No way! I thought you were dead!

Undertaker! What is the meaning of this?

It appears he is currently lost in limbo between life and death. It may well be possible to bring him back to life.

However, if you continue to speak ill of him, he may transform into an evil spirit instead.

A-An evil spirit? Wh-What would that mean?

I'm afraid that's not my area of expertise... However, they say evil spirits appear at the bedside of those who speak ill of them... Playing cursed melodies that drain their victim's vitality dry.

Even in death he plagues us! Trust the bard to be so selfish!

But I don't wanna get cursed...

I'm sorry, bard! I meant every word I said, but I swear I won't badmouth you again! Please forgive me!

Whaat?! I don't know if I can...

Or else...what?

Ahhh! Are those ghosts?!

Okay, you win! It's not like I can collect debt off a dead guy anyway.

Forget about your debts, just stop haunting us!

Were those monsters your doing as well, Dunarith?

It's only to be expected that a little negative energy would gather at a funeral, sham or not.

Eek!

H-Help...me...

Sure, just pass the buck onto me...

Not that we could leave these creatures we summoned to haunt this earth anyway.

Then let's go!

That went way better than expected! Thanks for all your help.

I only helped because otherwise people might think I was you and harass me over your unpaid debts. But I regret it now. I should have just handed you over to the tavern owners.

Come on, don't say that...

......

Well, now that my debts are all cleared, let's go celebrate with a glass of juice!

You're already back to drinking? Wow, you REALLY don't learn your lesson...

I'll probably give everyone a heart attack if I set foot in Rinde, so why don't we go to Unigan instead?

You should come too. Let's have a round together.

I gotta thank you, man! They never would've fallen for it if that funeral hadn't been so authentic!

How could you thank me? You almost died because of me!

Life's not just fun in the sun, you know? There's just as much bad as there is good. Today was just another bad day, nothin' more nothin' less.

But you know, strife often is a sign of good things to come. If I'd never met you and died, my debts would've never been cleared.

But...

I wouldn't worry about it too much. If Dunarith doesn't mind, neither should you.

Exactly, just take it easy! Besides, what did you make of my funeral? Not only did nobody need me, they all hated me! See, I'm the worst of the worst, and yet I'm still alive. Nobody hates you, so that makes you slightly better off, right?

I guess, but... I don't want to be in a race to the bottom.

Ouch. Rock bottom's not the worst place to be. At least you're alive!

A custom of your hometown. Sending the dead off with happy music... To reassure them that where they're heading, the afterlife, isn't such a scary place. But you don't have to be dead to listen to such melodies of encouragement.

This requiem is from me to you. Imagine that the old you is dead. Take a step into a new world.

That was beautiful...

Haha, thanks. A song sweet enough to move you, sung by a wretched, vulgar bard.

Funny world we live in.

Maybe, but that's not such a bad thing.

No, maybe it's not. And if this world says it doesn't need you, maybe that doesn't matter either. Kick away its blessings, spread curses, and live shamelessly. Let's bully this hateful world for a change! Let's give it a taste of its own medicine.

Yes, I think I like the sound of that...

There we go, that's the spirit!

Now, a toast to all the trouble we've yet to make!

Do you think he'll be okay?

He'll be fine. When that monster attacked him, he called out for help, right? That just goes to show... Deep down, he wanted to live. And now that he's realized that for himself, I'm sure he'll be fine.

Was that your plan all along?

Well, you know...if there's a life that can be saved...

Right...

Seeing me in a new light, huh? Want to buy me a drink to celebrate?

You've already had more than enough. And I've had more than enough of your company.

Oh? Suit yourself. See ya!

But you'll hang out with me, right Aldo?

Dunarith... You really ought to rethink your life choices. Didn't it upset you hearing what people said about you at your fake funeral?

But if you make a change now, maybe when it comes to your real funeral...

I'm fine. As long as it doesn't upset those I care about, what does any of that matter?

I've finally found you, Dunarith.

Ah, Mazrika! Feels like we see each other almost every day now. You miss me that much?

I'm not here because I want to be, I'm here because you didn't show up when you were summoned.

Zeviro's been calling for you. Return to our world at once.

Do I have to? It's such a hassle going all the way there...

Also, I heard you faked your own death to get out of paying your bills?

Whaaat? Who told you that?

The Dunarith from this world. I ran into him at the Serena Coast.

Why that blabbermouth... (No, it doesn't matter. As long as she doesn't know I actually died...)

Yep, it's true all right! Which means, I'm still flush with money today!

So why don't you let me buy you a drink? My treat!

Not necessary. If you have time to drink, you have time to return to base.

So cold...