Do You Love First Love?

Oh, how awful...

Hm?

Oh, young man. Please be careful. I've warned my own children too.

What's wrong?

There's word of a suspicious group in hoods loitering around here and calling out to children lately.

I wish the EGPD would hurry up and capture them already, but it doesn't seem like that's happening.

People in hoods... That is worrying.

If they're bothering kids, how about I look into it for you? We can get to the bottom of this.

Don't be silly! You're still only young yourself. I would hate if you got wrapped up in something dangerous.

I'm not a child, ma'am!

Look, I'll be fine! Where have they been seen?

My neighbor said they'd been spotted hanging around Theta District...

Got it, thanks. I'll go check it out!

Ah, please! Be careful, young man!

Well, here we are... I guess we can't expect to...

Oof!

No, no, no! We will never accept it!

I mean, yeah, but...

Get away from those kids!

Are you the sketchy hooded people who've been bothering kids?

Huh? Who are you?!

I should be asking you! You're clearly scaring them.

Get behind me, kids. Are you all okay?

Y-yeah! I'm fine.

We were playing, and these people all showed up at once...

They said weird things! It was really annoying.

...Hm? Annoying? Not scary?

What did you say to them?

How rude! All I did was share my heartfelt thoughts with them! You see, it all began...

Whew! It sure is tough being a super famous movie star.

Let's see what's on my schedule for tomorrow. I have that big action movie shoot...

Ah! Checking your schedule again, I see.

You really should let me do my job as your manager...

This is part of the job for a super famous movie star too! I have to be able to do everything by myself.

Ooh, he's so dreamy!

Even so! I wish you'd rely on me more. After all... After all, I...!

M-Manager!

I don't believe it!

I-it's you!

Say it isn't so! You swore to marry me, your childhood friend and your first love, when we were only children! You said you'd go to the city and earn enough money to buy us a big house to live in together!

But here you are with... with...!

Wait, I can explain!

This is the first I've heard of this!

So?! Which of us will you choose?! Hurry up and answer!

I...I choose...

You!

I'm so sorry, my first love! But my manager has supported me through so much...

I've completely fallen for her!

B-but that's...that's...

That's TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!!!

Huh?

W-who are you?

So, he gets a taste of the big city and forgets the pure and sweet girl waiting for him back home...

No, no, no! We will never accept it!!

What are you talking about?

The gentle blush of first love... A relationship built with tender care, with a promise of a future together!

And then you throw that all away as soon as it's convenient?! Were your feelings ever genuine?!

It's the pinnacle of foolishness! An affront to decent people everywhere! Real or fictional, male or female or anything else...

People should stick with their first loves!! First love is the truest form of affection! It's the purest form of romance!

And we are the messengers who have come together to spread this truth to the world...

We! Are! The ♡First Blush Gang♡!!!!

Wha...

What are you even talking about?! I have no idea what's going on here!

Why not?! It's such a simple and shining truth!

Okay, you people make no sense. But, you're definitely suspicious.

Let's find you a different place to play pretend in, kids.

Who asked you, bud?!

Look, just stop forcing your opinions on kids and everything will work out. You're bothering them.

That face...that's the face of a man who's left not only his first love, but even his tenth love in the dust! We're no match for someone like him. We have no choice. We have to call the Boss!

Boss?!

Our Boss is amazing! She rounded us up and changed us from shiftless wanderers into a force for truth and justice! They call her the Bearer of Love! They call her the Love Evangelist! She's really something, I mean it!

I suddenly have a really bad feeling about all this.

Get him, Boss!

Does someone need seeing to?

Ugh, Pom?!

Well, well! If it isn't Aldo. That said, "Ugh"?

What a gentlemanly welcome, young man. ♡

Er... Huh?

Boss! Show this guy what first love is all about! Beat him up... with your Bearer of Love powers!

I'm no Bearer of Love.

Huh?!

In fact, I have no interest in love whatsoever. Not a whit.

What's happened to you, Pom?!

First off, why are you hanging out with these guys if you don't care anything about love? But more importantly, what happened to your mission? Weren't you going to fill the world with love?

Did you hear all that, gentlemen?

I fear I've misled you all. Please listen carefully. You see, this gentle, kind, somewhat dense, but otherwise really quite charming man...

Aldo here is the TRUE Bearer of Love!

R-really?!

What?! I'M the Bearer of Love?!

What are you saying, Pom?! You're getting weirder by the minute!

There's nothing weird about me at all. I'm absolutely normal, from the top of my head to my tippy-toes.

Now, do you understand, everyone? I am this man's assistant. He's the one who taught me everything I know about love...and he was very thorough about it.

Ooh...

Is that the truth? Sorry for picking a fight with you earlier, bud.

I didn't realize you were actually ahead of us on the path to Love Gurudom!

Wh... Wha...

And so, you should loop Aldo in on your plan, gentlemen. Of course, I will also be participating.

That's a great idea! With a super- experienced Bearer of Love on our side, this will be a day to remember!

H-Hold on a sec! What plan? What day?!

Just come with us! All will become clear.

Come along, Bearer of Love! Walk the flower-strewn path of first love together with us! First stop: IDA City!

H-hey, wait! Stop! I don't want to go!

Pooooooooom!!!

So...what are we doing here?

...Behold! They come!

Damn them...damn them!

Uh, what's going on here? Explain it to me.

You see that woman there, all lovey-dovey with her partner? The truth is... The truth is, she's Member #13's childhood friend, and his first love!

Uwaaaah!

...Okay, and?

He's always loved her! He grew up, always believing in his pure heart that someday they would be wed...

...But when he confessed to her, o woe! She already had a boyfriend!! While he was savoring the bittersweet tang of innocent love, she had met someone else at school! Today is their wedding banquet. Both of them are IDA School graduates, so they're celebrating in IDA City.

Oh, congrats to them. Is that why we were able to get into the city?

No! No congrats! Negative congrats to them!!

Don't you SEE, Bearer of Love?! Love is a sweet and beautiful thing. And first love is the pinnacle of love!

In other words, those who turn their backs upon first love are heretics! We must make their sins known to all!

What are you planning to do?!

Well, we're going to ruin their wedding banquet, obviously.

You people are awful!

How rude, Bearer of Love! Waaait a minute... If that's how you feel, maybe you're not really...

Yeah! Exactly! I'm not your Bea...

Hmmph! Mmph!

Come now, gentlemen. This man IS the Bearer of Love. Didn't I tell you that before?

But, Assistant of Love...

Don't worry, I'll be right here to help everything work out. That's right; that's our duty!

Pom, seriously, wha, Hmmphm!

That's exactly right, Bearer of Love. I agree, that is a fantastic plan. ♡

Now, listen carefully. Here is what the esteemed Bearer of Love wants you all to do.

"Find the people in white hoods in the city and retrieve their Bom Leaves from them."

White hoods...?

Yes! They are the holy messengers of the love the Bearer of Love promises. They will fill your souls with love!

I have a little bit of work to do to make sure your plan succeeds, so I'll have to step away for a moment...

So you all go around with the Bearer and collect those leaves, hm? ♡

Hang on, Pom! Are you just leaving me here?!

And what about the banquet?! If you think I'm just going to let their day get ruined...

Adieu! ♡

Oh, come on...!

Come along, Bearer of Love!

We're going to wreck their banquet so hard the surface will hear about it!

(I guess all I can do is play along and hope Pom has something up her sleeve...) (But if she can't stop them, then...)

...This needs to stop. But can I do it?

Hey, uh, I was told to get a Bom Leaf from you...

Glory to Her Peppiness!

Huh? Peppiness...?

You may not be wearing the uniform, but you know about these leaves. That makes you a partner in pep.

Behold, peppy one. The leaf, as instructed.

S-Sure. Thanks.

Ah, right, my brother in bubbly. Beware the Onyx Witch.

She is a heretic and traitor to Her Peppiness! Damn her and her Student Council. She and her followers are everywhere! And what's worse... we've heard they're capturing women in white, like Her Peppiness!

So Her Peppiness recently got a new outfit made at a top-shelf boutique, just to lie low for a time.

...I kind of wish she'd buy us new clothes every now and then, too. I mean, I wash the hood but it's not the same...

Uh, what are you talking about?

A-anyway! I don't know what's up with this Onyx Witch, but... No one's got Her Peppiness beat when it comes to secret societies! Long live the League of Extrapeppy Peppymen!

I'm just going to go now. Thanks for the leaf.

Oh, drat! I forgot to check his membership card.

Oh well. I could tell at a glance... That man is on a mission from Her Peppiness herself!

All pep be upon her!!

Hey, I'm looking for leaves...

Hey, did you notice...

Yeah. Something was a little off with Her Peppiness today. It was like...no, I shan't say it.

If she's usually at Extrapeppy, today she was more like...more like... More like... Omni...

Shut your mouth! How dare you! How dare you compare Her Peppiness to that weaksauce "beverage"!

B-But!

...But you're right. I won't go so far as to slander her like you almost did, but... There was a moment when she looked almost...melancholic, almost... Thoughtful...

You...!

You get it.

My brother!

What are they talking about?

Let's just take the leaf and go.

Umumumum...{lang-nuance}table_name:funcTable_branch_true{/lang-nuance}

Melody! What's wrong?

Ah! Aldoooo!

T-this person gave me a weird, scary leaf, a-and I didn't know who they were or anything...

Ah, that might be what I'm looking for.

What a shock... Are you collecting leaves? Are you making clothes?

Uh, it's a really long story... And no, I don't think you can make clothes out of leaves, anyway.

Speaking of...I just finished a new outfit a little while ago! For Pom!

Really!

...Wait, so those weird clothes Pom was wearing...

She said something about not being able to wear her usual white anymore, for some reason, so she bought new clothes...

And it was just awful! The fabric and stitching were terrible and she was just throwing things on!

If she really wanted to change up her look, I said, she should at least let me make her decent clothes...

So you made those, huh? They did look really well-made.

Huh? You've seen them?!

Aren't they just adorable?!

The design is actually an homage to the uniform Pure Mel wears in S1 E31, "Infiltrate! The Phantom School!"

I just had to get the... And the stitching on the... Oh, and then this detailing from...! There are almost no shots of... ...promotional materials from about... HUGE arguments online...

Y-Yeah...

And so I thought, "why SHOULDN'T I use double-stitching?! It's not like there's a law against it!"

Um, Bearer of Love? Can we maybe...you know...

Hyaaa?!

A-A-Aldooo! You didn't tell me there were others here!

Uh, sorry, I thought you'd have noticed...

I didn't see theeeem! I-I'm sorry, very sorry...um...

I'm going home!!

What an explanation...

Umumumum...{lang-nuance}table_name:funcTable_branch_false{/lang-nuance}

Hm? What's the matter?

Hey, are you okay?

Umumumum...{lang-nuance}table_name:funcTable_branch_false{/lang-nuance}

Hm? What's the matter?

Hey, are you okay?

(...Melody? No, it couldn't be the Melody I know. If it were, she'd definitely cause a scene...)

("ALDO! Another chance meeting across time and space?! We must be adventure SOULMATES!" or something like that...)

Huh? Have we met before?

......!! I-I...!

......!! I-I...!

I-I'm okay...! T-this person gave me a weird, scary leaf, a-and I didn't know who they were or anything...

Ah, that might be what I'm looking for.

Are you collecting leaves? Are you making clothes?

Uh, it's a really long story... And no, I don't think you can make clothes out of leaves, anyway.

O-oh, right, duh, obviously! It's just, a friend recently asked me to make her some clothes, so I guess it's on my mind, or something...

Wow, you can make clothes? That's pretty amazing.

E-ehehe, not really...

She said something about not being able to wear her usual white anymore, for some reason, so she bought new clothes...

And it was just awful! The fabric and stitching were terrible and she was just throwing things on!

If she really wanted to change up her look, I said, she should at least let me make her decent clothes...

Um, Bearer of Love? Can we maybe...you know...

...Hyaaa!

Hyaaa?

I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blab! I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Um, um, aaaaa...

...I'm going home now! Bye-bye!!

What was all that about?

Well, we got the leaves...

Somehow I'm just plan exhausted. In the future, I'd like to deal with only one silly cult at a time...

Well, well, good work!

Pom! You took your sweet time.

Aww, did you miss me that much?

Heck no!{lang-nuance}Aww, did you miss me that much?{/lang-nuance}

Woo, woo!

I did not!{lang-nuance}Woo, woo!{/lang-nuance}

While you were collecting the leaves, I was getting things ready on my end.

A little birdy told me that the banquet will be held around the city center.

Come along, everyone! Our First Love's Punishment Plan... Is just about to begin! ♡

Are you really going to do this?

But of course, Bearer! If we stop now, then what is the First Blush Gang even, like... FOR, you know?

But just look at them. They look happy. Really, truly happy. What you're planning to do will ruin their happiness, all to satisfy your own selfish wants.

Argh, shut up! We have no choice! They're the ones who ruined our first love first! They deserve it!

You're just being selfish! I don't know a thing about first love...

But I know that your feelings are selfish, one-sided, and ugly!

Hah! You think love is all sunshine and rainbows?! Something stinks here! I don't think you really are the Bearer...

Now, now, save your squabbling. You have to get going! Don't let those leaves go to waste.

Pom! Are you really doing this? What these people want...!

A true banquet crash! I love the idea. I want them to do just as they please. That's my aim, and what I'm here for. ♡

Pom!{lang-nuance}A true banquet crash!{/lang-nuance}

Aldo? What's the matter?

I...

I don't like this! A Pom who doesn't care about love...whose eyes don't shine when she talks about love...that's not you! Even if you usually drag people around, force them to drink weird potions, and are basically a giant menace all the time... I know you respect and value love from the bottom of your heart! That's what makes you Pom!

If that's not true anymore, then what did I DIE for, huh?!

Aldo...

Oh my goodness.

Why, Aldo, you're so...passionate.

But I'm afraid you haven't budged my ironclad heart even a millimeter! I suppose I could write your little speech down and use it for kindling later, though.

Now, come along, everyone! The time is nigh and so are we.

You got shot down, huh, Bearer...

I did not get shot down.

You and I are comrades now! We're brothers in arms! Let's drown our first-love sorrows together!

I did NOT get shot down, and I don't have any sorrows!!

Ah, damn it! Wait! Don't do this!

Kyaa! What is this?!

Mwa ha ha! Listen well! We are...

The ♡First Blush Gang♡!!!!

F-first what...?

All those who trample upon the precious flush of first love... Shall! Be! Punished!!

Let's do it!!

Is that a weapon?! Were those leaves for the gunpowder?!

Bride and groom, and everyone else besides! Especially you, my dear darling pink- behooded cohorts!

Prepare to taste my newest creation, the awe-inspiring, epoch-defining...

Pom! Don't do it!

Fire! Fiiiiiiire!

...LOVE BAZOOKA!

...Huh?!

*cough* *splutter*

Cough, cough... W-what was... huh?!

Uuugh... What was that? It sure was loud...

Right! The banquet!

Oh...

Oh, are you alright, muffinkins?! Has a single inch of your perfect skin been blemished at all, my sweet?!

I'm the best I've ever been, my prince! When I saw you emerge from the smoke, my heart leapt like never before...

Oh, you always know just what to say. We haven't even said our vows yet, but my heart is full to bursting! Here, let me make sure you haven't been injured... come this way...

Ooh, be gentle. ♡

Oh wow, look at those lovebirds! Makes me wish I had a sweetheart...

Um...! I-if that's the case... I've been interested in you since the first time I saw you earlier...

Huh? R-really? Wow... Just look at those muscles! This love train has no brakes!

Sniffle... First love is all well and good, but... I'm gonna be honest, guys, I'm starting to get a little overstuffed on fluff!

What I want...what I REALLY want... I want a comfy, mutually fulfilling relationship with someone who shares my hobbies and interests! An older woman who's been through the highs and lows of life...someone I can talk to for hours on our porch...!

I still like first love, but... Rather than a childhood friend, I've always preferred the distant bittersweetness of a crush on a teacher!

The fact that it can never happen is what makes it good! The bitter is what makes the sweetness better! A first love that comes true is no real first love at all!!

W-what's happening with them?

Hmm, it's certainly working, but not to the extent I had anticipated. I might have to up the dose again...

Pom!

Oh, Aldo. Thank you again for your passionate confession earlier.

It made me very happy. However, I'm afraid you are still, in fact, a terribly dull young man...

What?! Dull, again?!

Huh? Wait...

Yes, I can finally speak my mind.

Aaaah! That truly was unbearably frustrating!

You see, while I was working on the drugs to load my Love Bazooka with, there was a small...giant explosion... And since then, I've had to speak in opposite terms, no matter how I tried to twist and turn myself!

Opposite terms?!

Ah! So that's why you've been so weird!

Imagine, me losing interest in love! You'd sooner see the sun burn out than see my love furnace run out of fuel. There was so much I wanted to say, but I couldn't form the words. So, I had you serve as my proxy.

So that's why you made me do the whole fake Bearer of Love thing.

Yes! But you did very well. Without your help, I would never have been able to fix this...

Hey, wait a minute!

What's going on here, Bearer of Love?! Your big bazooka thing blew up good, but now those two jerks are even more in love than they were before!

And all our comrades are acting weird too! Didn't we come here to wreck this party?! I thought we'd be flipping tables and smashing the cake and stuff!

Ah, hello, everyone. I am terribly sorry... But as the true Bearer of Love, I could never lift a finger against this crystallization of Love Itself!

Wha?!

So you were the Bearer of Love after all?!

A fine question! And indeed! I, Pom, am the true Bearer of Love! This is Aldo. Not even an assistant, really, just a young man I happen to know and who was useful in the moment.

Okay, you're not wrong, but I still feel kind of insulted.

I don't care WHICH of you it is! I just don't understand this! Why would the Bearer of Love stand against our First Blush Gang?! Why did you stop our grand goal?!

Because I AM the Bearer of Love!

Love is a free and limitless thing. Whoever one loves, and however, therein resides a spark of brilliance.

And I can't help but adore that brilliance! The light of infinite potential born when love is realized! Restraints or monopolization can be a nice little spice sometimes, true... But to one-sidedly declare that only your love matters, and seek to destroy mutual love in your selfishness?

That goes against every fiber of my Aesthetics of Love! And so, I resolved to ruin your plan entirely.

Pom...!{lang-nuance}That goes against every fiber{/lang-nuance}

Damn you! If you won't help us, then we'll do it our own way! Come on, First Blush Gang!

Let's smash up this party, and the Bearer of Love while we're at it!

Turning to violence because you fail to understand my thesis only reflects badly upon your own comprehension.

That said, I would like a few more test results, for the sake of reproducibility! Shall we dance? ♡

Aaargh, all our plans!

Haaah!

Aaahhh!

Hey, Pom?! Not again! Cough, cough...!

Love! Love! Looooove! ♡♡♡

...Wow.

I happened to have a canister of 3:1 concentration left over, so it seemed a waste not to use it.

What kind of mad science are you spreading around?!

Mad science? How rude.

You're familiar with my Charm Dose α, of course. This is the updated and refined version of that. I call it... Heart Dose α! Anyone dosed with this becomes wholly honest to themselves and their feelings.

See?

I don't want a childhood romance! I want sparks to fly with a coworker at my office job!

I don't get what he's saying, but he sure is being honest.

Uwaaaah!

Ah, that guy! We need to stop him.

Now, now. Just watch.

Oh! I know you...

I... I... The truth is, I...

I've never forgotten about you! You were so precious to me... And so, today...seeing you so radiant and happy... I've never been happier in my life!

Congratulations on your wedding! May you and your husband lead a long and fulfilling life together!

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you decided to come. For a while, I thought you might not...

And all this excitement! Did you set all this up too? It was so much fun!

Uh...yeah!

Look at that. I guess he actually wanted to congratulate them.

Love is a complicated and many-layered thing, after all. A complex flavor, made of both sweetness and bitterness.

Yeah, nice turn of phrase, but I haven't forgotten how you've wasted most of my entire day on all this.

Please! The time would have passed regardless, Aldo. No one likes a man who holds grudges.

Now! Let's leave the rest to the lovers. It's time for the Bearer of Love to exit, stage left. ♪

Whew...what a day.

You can say that again. Now, let's return to my lab.

Huh? Me too?! What are you going to do to me?

Why, that should be obvious.

You declared your love for my love for love, after all!

In other words, you must be willing to devote your body to my pursuit of love science!

I didn't say that!

Aw, but you could give me such passionate declarations of love as my test subject...

"Love" and "test subject" are two phrases that never belong in the same sentence!

...Hm? Is it just me, or is there a commotion in the city?

Ah, yes. The smoke from the Love Bazooka will have dispersed throughout the city by now, after all.

WHAT?

I fired two wide-range barrages, after all!

And you didn't stop to think about what might happen to all the people around you?! And wasn't the second one at super high concentration?!

More people around means more experimental data for me, after all.

I can't believe you. Melody's still in the city too, you know!

I can't believe you!

Isn't there an antidote?

Of course not.

And just look at all the results! I'm going to go on a stroll around Elzion center with my notebook.

Hey, wait! Pom!

Ah, I suppose I should observe the state of things in IDA City first... Ooh, I wonder how matters are progressing over at the School.

Why, I'll have more love data than I know what to do with! I should pick up some camera drones!

Pom! Knock it off!

Poooooooom!!!