Gramma Mia!

Good heavens...

That old man sure does love to shout, doesn't he? Hah!

Not only that, that whole thing with the bamboo katana...

Right? I'm gonna be dealing with these lumps on my head for weeks!

But I mean, it's fine. Just shows ya the old man still has it in him. And besides, I am his son, so I kinda have to put up with it.

...Do you though?

Anyway, you got any plans after this? I was thinking we could go grab some grub over in Izana.

I am always down for some grub in Izana. Let's go!

Hey, wait.

I think I see Akane!

Who's that?

Shion's sister, man! I've told you about her before.

Ahh... The one that's a genius?

Hey Shigure!

Who's your friend?

Wait, don't tell me. Are you here to take on our dojo?!

What? No!

Aldo? Take on OUR dojo?! Don't be so silly Akane. Aldo here is a friend, and a fellow traveler. One hell of a fighter, too!

Is he, now.

All right then, Aldo. I challenge you to battle!

Here? Now?!

Ah, wait! Akane! When I said he was one hell of a fighter, I didn't mean that you should challenge him! Besides, you looked like you were on your way somewhere...

Oh yeah! She sure does look happy, too.

If I had to guess, just by looking at her expression. I'd say she mastered a new move. Man, she just gets stronger and stronger by the day.

...You can tell that just by looking?

When you spend as much time with someone as much as I've spent with Akane and Shion, you just know.

Hey, Shigure! And... Hey, Aldo!

Hi, Akane.

Wait, let me guess. You just just became a student of the Itto-Ryu and wanted to tell me about it. Am I right?

Yeah, uh, not exactly. I was just in the area and decided to give Shigure a shout and practice a little bit.

Oh, I get it. Man, I wish I coulda joined in with you guys! I'm ready to fight just about anyone right now!

Aldo! Shigure! I challenge you to battle!

Here? Now?!

Wait, wait, wait. Weren't you on your way somewhere just now?

Oh. Yeah. I was! How'd you know?!

Hah! Believe it or not, I can read people's minds! And when I say people I mean, just yours. So where was it you were headed?

Well, I...

No, hold on! Let me guess!

Going by the expression on your face... I'd say you were... Aha!

You're going to Nagsham! Did I get it?

There's no way you could get that just by looking at her face, come on. That's just...

YUP! I'm going to Nagsham! I was headed over there to...

To buy a tortoise shell comb!

Hah! I knew! Nagsham's a great place to tra...

Wait. Did you say buy a comb?!

You didn't say buy a comb right. I must be mishearing things, surely.

Hm? Yeah, I'm going to buy a comb.

Hah! I was totally sure you were going to Nagsham to beat up a few strawboys to test out your new moves!

New moves? I don't have any new moves.

You might wanna get that crystal ball of yours checked out, Shigure.

Shut up, Aldo. Akane. Are you seriously going to buy a comb right now?

...Yes? I've been saving up for it for quite some time.

It's not just any comb too. Top of the line! Makes your hair all silky smooth!

So, ummm... I guess I'll see ya later, Shigure! I gotta comb to get!

And...she's gone.

Heh.

Heheheh... HAHAHAHAHA!

Aldo. We've finally done it.

Finally! A sign!

A sign? For what?

Akane has spent her life only thinking about martial arts, Aldo. Kickin' butts, and taking names. That was her game, Aldo. But now, she goes...to buy a comb! A COMB, ALDO! Not just any comb, Aldo. One that makes her look PRETTY! She has finally awoken her feminine side, and THIS is a sign that today's my day, Aldo!

That is quite the leap in logic.

Except, it ISN'T! This is Akane, we're talking about, Aldo! Quickly! There is no time, we must go!

Pack your bags, Aldo. We're going to Izana to FIND ME A WIFE!

What happened to food?!

I can feel it in my bones, Aldo! Today is the day Shigure finds the girl of his dreams!

I thought the whole wife thing was so that you'd have an heir for Itto-Ryu? And since that whole thing was taken care of, you didn't really need one anymore?

What? No. Wife hunting is part of how I live my life, Aldo!

It's not like I can just stop doing it! Hah!

Come now, Aldo. We're off to Izana!

You know. I have this sinking suspicion that this is not going to go well at all.

MMMmmm Izana. So bustling with energy. My wife is here somewhere, I can feel it.

Hey! Stop that!

Hey, you hear that?!

Yeah, over there!

Just leave us alone, would ya?

Hey now, we just wanna have a cup of tea, no need to get so uppity about it, honey.

Yeah! Or maybe the lady would like somethin' stronger, eh?

Both of you stop it. She clearly isn't interested, so leave her alone!

Why don't you mind your own business? You crusty bag of bones!

Yeah, you better scram. We're totally fine with beating up old ladies. Do it all the time, actually.

That's enough of that, you knaves.

And just who the hell are you? Try and play hero and you'll regret it, that's for sure.

Interesting! What're you goin' to do to me? Somethin' like...

Something like this?

Something like what?

OW! Hey what'd you do that for?!

You didn't say what you were gonna do to me, so I was just trying to figure out what you meant! Was I right? Or should I have drawn a little blood?

Cause if it's blood you want, this blade of mine would be more than happy to oblige.

Is that so?

Hey, wait, bro. This guy's one of those Itto-Ryu guys. Maybe we should, uh, not.

Huh? The Itto-Ryu?

Wait. Is this the guy? The guy everyone's talking about? You know, "He's an idiot, but don't cross him cause he's also a total badass."

So my name has reached even the lowest of street thugs, I see! I'm flattered, quite honestly.

Is that something to be flattered about? I'm not so sure about that.

Let's get straight to the point, fellas.

Leave, or deal with me. What's it going to be, eh?

LEAVE, I GUESS. C'mon, bro let's get outta here.

OW!

Oh, dear...

Look where you're going, jerks!

Let them be, Aldo. We have more pressing matters to attend.

Are you two ladies okay?

Y-Yes, sir. Thanks for helping us...

Hah! Don't mention it. Saving girls in need is kind of my thing.

How wonderful!

Here, take my hand.

Thank you so much...

It was nothing, I assure you. If you would, however, allow me to ask you a few questions...

Anything I can do to help.

Oh god. Please don't.

Question number one. Are you single?

No sir, I just got married recently!

Oh.

I see.

No further questions, m'am.

Did I say something odd?

Nope, not at all, m'am. You may go about your business. Thanks.

O-Okay?! Well, thanks again for the help, sir!

I'll add that one to the list.

What a beautiful way to get my heart broken. A work of art, even.

Yes. Today IS my lucky day, Aldo! That was no regular heartbreak. Truly a sign that things are looking my way, Aldo! Let us press ahead, to the next bride to be, Aldo! No time to be sad, depressed, or melancholy, Aldo! WE MUST CONTINUE THE HUNT, ALDO!

Excuse me, sonny.

Yes, m'am?

I didn't mean to overhear, but it would seem you're looking for a bride, yes?

This may sound a little forward, but...

Would you consider me?

You?

You mean, you wanna marry this guy?

Yes, you see... I lost my husband several years ago, and have been living alone ever since. I thought I had loved my last love, but then...

You walked into my life and thrashed those dreadful bandits. Now, my heart feels like it did all those years ago. I think... I think I'm in love!

You're what?

In love? With me?!

I cannot deny these feelings, I apologize.

I can't believe I said that! To think, an old woman like me...

That's where I'm gonna have to stop you, m'am.

If you love me, that's all I need to hear! ALDO! WE HAVE A WEDDING TO PREPARE!

R-Really?!

Is there something wrong?

Shigure, I remember way back when you told me about what you looked for in a future wife. She must be young. Single. Isn't already in love. Loves children. Wants to live in the East. Remember?

Yes! Exactly!

Then... Does she meet all those requirements? I feel like there's a box she doesn't quite tick...

Oh. I see.

Well, I no longer need an heir, so age is of no matter!

Oh, okay, well, if you say so.

She lives in the East, so I don't have to worry about her wanting to stay here...

And she loves me! If this woman isn't my destiny, then who do you think is, Aldo?!

Excuse me, ma'am. About our relationship...

It's okay. I understand. I hope you forgive my intrusion...

You got me wrong, ma'am!

Really?

No man should turn away a woman who has given themselves to you for the sake of matrimony!

I say yes! Let's get married!

You will?!

A man never goes back on his word! I accept your offer.

I can't believe this!

I have but one condition. You must marry into my family.

What do you say, Sir Shigure... I mean, My Shigure... Will you?

My Shigure?! (Love sure does make a old heart young again!)

Hm... But I was hoping you'd marry into my family... This is only going to work if I marry into your family, you say?

Eh, who cares! Let's do it!

Seriously?

Oh, sorry, there's one more thing.

Anything, my dear.

I have a son, and he is quite a bit older than you. Is that okay?

Sounds like great fun! Not a problem!

What a relief! You are such a kind and understanding person. My Shigure! My heart is pounding so fast it hurts!

I'm not sure I'd call this understanding, but okay. Let's go with that.

Well then, all that's left to do is to go meet my new son!

Wonderful! Yes, let's go meet him right away. No time to waste!

Indeed! Quicker the better!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Then, off we go to Kurosagi Castle!

The CASTLE?!

Yes. I don't know if I should mention this, but we are in the middle of some family issues, you see...

Issues Shmisshues! We can worry about that later! Let's follow the grey stone road down to Kurosagi Castle!

So, uh, this is where Shigure is supposed to meet your son, eh?

Yes, I'm sorry for all the formalities. Getting remarried is not something I can simply decide on my own. Social status can be quite troublesome.

(Social status? Hm?) (She's not a noble, is she?) (I mean, I guess that's why we're in the audience chamber...)

I wonder what's taking so long?

Shigure mentioned having to prepare something, no idea what it is though.

Maybe he changed his mind? I don't blame him, look at how old I am...

No way. He's not that kind of guy. If he decided to marry you, that's exactly what he's going to do.

Yes. You're right. I should trust him.

I'm just so nervous... It's been years since I've felt like this about someone.

(I gotta admit, this is really sweet.)

(But what in the world is Shigure up to?) (I hope he didn't get confused and ran off with some other woman. Nah. that'd be silly.)

Sorry to make you wait, my dear.

My Shigure!

Wow Shigure. Lookin' good, man!

If a man is to be married, a man must be dressed for the occasion!

I don't think the wedding is going to be today?

Agree to disagree, Aldo! And besides, I can't be in my normal clothes when I'm meeting my fiancée's son for the first time!

You just called me your fiancée!

Well that's what you are, aren't you?

You look so fabulous... There's no way an old hag like me could ever match your beauty.

Nonsense! A woman's beauty never fades! I cannot wait to see you in your wedding gown. You will no doubt look radiant.

What have I done to deserve such a man? My Shigure, I couldn't be happier to have found you.

Hah! And I too, thank the fates for bringing me to you.

(Huh. Seems like this is gonna work out just fine?) (They really do seem quite in love...)

He will see you now.

(But why do I still feel so nervous about this? I'm not even the one getting married!) (Anyway, I hope the meeting goes well.)

My Shigure...

What is the matter, my love? You look worried. Everything is going to be just fine. I'll greet your son like a true gentleman. He will have no choice but to approve!

She's in here, you say?

(Here we go...)

...Lord Genshin?!

Hm?!

Do you even know how much trouble I had to go through to greet you on such short notice? All the misdeeds I had to cover up? All the debauchery I had to hide?!

ER. I mean. *cough*

Oh mother, how LOVELY it is to see you here. And on such a lovely day! The dumplings taste so sweet, and I didn't even have to reprimand a single stupid subordinate!

UGH! Shigure?! And that pesky swordsman from the west! What in the world are you two doing here?

Ugh yourself, Genshin. We're not here to see you.

...Except...you are... My Shigure, I'd like you to meet my son, Genshin.

Uh oh.

You mean your son is...

Mother? "MY" Shigure?! What is the meaning of this?!

Shigure is my fiancee. We are here to tell you we're getting married.

MARRIED?!

Your mother's decided to get married with Little Shigure.

Y-Y-Y-YOU'RE MARRYING SHIGURE?!

Shigure, you sure you're okay with this? Marrying Lord Genshin's mom?

Hah! I must say I'm quite shocked as well. Quite the coincidence, eh? Such a small world we live in.

I never in all my dreams ever thought I'd one day be your father, Genshin. I do hope we get along.

Are you serious right now?

Yes, of course. Welcome..haha... WELCOME...hahaha WELCOME TO OUR BAHAHAHA! Sorry I can't say it.

You really think I'd let you marry my mother?! Are you really that dumb?

Genshin! Watch your mouth. You're speaking to my fiancée!

Oops!

This man is going to be your father so you better learn how to behave! My Shigure is a kind man who saved me from some awful bandits.

Is that so! Then let me reward you!

Thanks, all I ask is that you approve our marriage.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNO.

Genshin! I didn't raise you to act like such a baby! Apologize this instant!

UGGGHHHH FIIIINE.

AYE AM SAAAR... SRRARR... SOURRRR...

You can do it Genshy. Say it nice and clear so mommy can hear.

It's like she's talking to a toddler...

I am so sorry, My Shigure. He can act like such a naughty little boy sometimes!

Not a problem, my dear. We can teach him how to act together, now. I'd absolutely LOVE the opportunity to teach l'il Genshy here a lesson or two!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

From now on, you're going to treat my Shigure here like he was your father!

BUT MOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Now that that's over, we should go to the Cat Shrine.

To see the Cat Diety?

What's at the Cat Shrine, my love?

There we will declare our love and receive a blessing. They say a couple blessed by the Cat diety will stay together forever.

I've never heard such a thing! Wonderful! To the Cat Shrine we go!

You too, Genshin.

FIIIINE. Not like I was BUSY OR ANYTHING, MOM.

Well I guess we know who wears the pantaloons in this family.

(But...He never actually approved the marriage. Is that okay?)

Come on, Aldo! We're heading out with or without you!

Right! On my way!

That means you too, Genshy!

Nononononono. This is bad. What if that stupid Shigure actually becomes my father?!

I haven't worked my whole life to become top scum just so I could wash your stupid dojo floors!

Gwaaaaaaaarh!

How dare you take that tone with your father!

I want this placed clean and waxed ten times over! Now, get back to work!

TEN TIMES?!

AND when you're done, we're gonna train, and train, and train some more!

You're gonna thank me one day, you know. From scum to model citizen. Hah!

Now. If you'll excuse me, your mother and I are going out for some tea.

Oh Shigureee! My Shigure! I'm reaaadyyy!

Coming, my love!

NO! Nonononononono! Absolutely positively not! I have no intention to tell my mother who she should date. But Shigure? SHIGURE?! Unacceptable! My days as top scum are over with that goody two-shoes around!

Something must be done!

Aha! I know!

Ey, scum!

Yes, My Lord.

I have a job for you.

I am such a genius, haha!

Just you wait and see, stupid Shigure! BAHAHAHA!

Isn't this exciting?! Once this is done, we can finally start planning the wedding, right my dear?

I still feel like I'm dreaming!

I'll need to invite father, grandfather, Shion and Akane to the banquet... And you too, of course, Aldo! It's gonna be a big one! We'll laugh! We'll eat! We'll dance! A real party!

I can't believe it, it really is starting to feel like you're actually getting married, Shigure.

It's been a long road, hasn't it, Aldo. But, it's real. It's finally real, Aldo. Now let's go meet that Cat Diety and get that blessing!

JUST. ONE. MOMENT!

What's wrong, Genshy?

You still have a problem with my Shigure, is it?!

At first, I must admit. I panicked. Shigure? My father? Really?!

But now, that panic is gone. Shigure--No! Father! I fully accept you into our family.

You do?

Do you?

But, before we go through with this, I wanna talk with you. Mano a mano. Father to son.

Mano a mano, eh? I see.

I like the sound of that! Come on, let's go have that chat, buddy.

Mother? Father and I gonna have a chat for a sec. You just sit tight with Westy Swordsmon till we get back.

Okay, don't be long.

WESTY SWORDSMON!

VOW ON YOUR LIFE THAT YOU WILL PROTECT MOTHER AT ALL COSTS!

Who, me? Uh, yeah you got it.

Something seems off about this...

I just hope Genshin just finally realizes it's time to grow up. We were always worried about him, maybe my getting married will make him a better man?

My hope is that they talk it out, and come back as friends.

With the kind of history they have, I dunno...

History?

Oh! Yeah! Uhhh...

Aw yeah, bro! Looks like we gotta hottie with a body alert!

What the...

Excuse me? We're talking here.

Do you realize how old I am?

I'll pass. I'm waiting for my fiancee, anyway!

All right guys, fun's over. I think you better move on.

Aldo, it's not safe! Do as they say!

It's fine. I got this. I'LL protect you.

Oh my!

Hm? I didn't do anything?

Oh dear, Aldo, are you all right?

Yeah, how about you?

I'm fine, thanks to you.

You're Shigure's wife, I can't just let some random scum hurt you.

Dear Aldo...

It's true what they say, a good man has good friends, indeed.

Heh, I mean when ya put it that way, heh, kinda embarassing...

When I look at Shigure, I can tell his father was a good man, his grandfather was a good man... And all the people he knows, are all good people.

But me? Well, I don't deserve to be the wife of such a good man. And I bet those good people must think he shouldn't be with a woman like me.

No way! Everyone's happy for the both of you. He CHOSE to be with you! You've got nothing to worry about.

Dear Aldo...

DAMN'T! Why isn't it working?! This is where she's supposed to fall in love with ol' Westy Swordboy! Why is she still talking about Dummygure!

Hey, Genshy, what's up? Aren't we gonna have that heart to heart?

UGH. Shut up, "DAD." Can't you see I'm in the middle of something KIND OF important here?

Wow. I'm not quite your dad just yet, but even I can tell somebody needs a nap.

Hm? What is going on over there, anyway?

Two groups of bandits in one day. Kinda crazy, huh?

Get what back on track?

NOW I remember! You two are a couple of Lord Genshin's Ninja!

They are?!

Genshin! Is this your doing?! What is going on!

HAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA! You finally figured it out! You are SO STUPID! But it's too late now! BAHAHAHA!

Oh no, big scary monster! Save me, Aldo! Then Westy McSwordface jumps in. "I'll save you l'il lady!" Then, she's all "Myyyyy hero!" Jumps into his arms, calls off the wedding, bing bang boom, you're not my dad. Easy.

And that's why you dragged me over here...

And you know this is your fault, right? You believed I had somehow become a good person! That's on you! YOU cannot marry MY mommy and that will never change as for as long as I live! I mean, if it was Wacky Waldo over there I MIGHT be able to accept it, but you? No. Nope. Never.

You would put your own mother in danger, just to get your way? True scum, and I'm not even the slightest bit surprised.

I mean, yeah? I'm always calling myself scum, top scum, king of scum, superscum. That's not even an insult.

Ahh!

Damn! I've gotta do something!

Hey! No! You don't have to DO anything! Come back here this instant you idiot!

Damn! I can't get a single attack in on this thing!

Need some backup there, Aldo?

Just in time, friend.

Oh, my Shigure! You came!

Of course I came. A man must protect his fiancée at all cost!

You threaten MY bride? And you think you can get away with it? Well, today is your unlucky day, punks. I shall cut you down with one stroke.

It's gone mad!

We must do something, Aldo! Come, we must give chase!

Yeah!

What in the world are you idiots doing here! That THING is gonna follow you here!

This is your fault! Be my shield!

EEK! I'm all alone! I'm gonna die! This is it! My last scummy scam blows up in my face!

HEEEEEEEELLLPPPP MEEEEEEEEEE!

You all right, Genshin?

Of course it had to be you! Damn't!

Is anyone hurt over there?!

We're fine. Let's make sure we finish the job this time!

That was tough, but it's finally over.

And you look just peachy, it seems. Scum really do have a way of getting out of harms way, eh?

No, no. What am I saying. You're about to become my son. I should drop the sarcasm.

UGGGH FIINE. I guess I "respect" you now. But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you marry mother!

You are a persistent one, I'll give you that.

What, you think I'd just forget about the fact you tried to kill me once?

And besides, you could never be scum like me. You're too boring! And if you're my dad, then I won't be able to harass you or Shion anymore! Cause I don't wanna make mommy cry!

You are a piece of work, you know that?

I see...

M-Mother?!

This was all your doing, then? You've been doing terrible things to my Shigure and his friends, eh?

I, uh. Well, you see...

My dear fiancée...

It seems a lot has happened since I decided to live among the people.

Shigure, my love. I'm afraid I'll have to call off the wedding.

What?!

Why?!

It is my absence that has caused my son to walk this dark road. And for that, I'm afraid I don't deserve you. Please, forget about me.

I'll make sure Genshy here gets a good talking to, when we get back to the castle. And be sure he won't be troubling the two of you ever again. Even though we will not be wed.

Thanks...

......

I understand. The wedding is off.

FOR NOW!

What do you mean?

Hah! After all the love you've given to me? You'd think I'd let this scum ruin what WE had?! In the meantime, I'll try and set things right with my new son over here. And when everything's right. Let's tie that knot.

What do you say? If you still have feelings for me then, would you welcome me into the family?

My sweet Shigure...

Thank you... You really are quite wonderful.

I accept. Under one condition. If you fall in love with someone else before then, marry them instead.

My dear fiancée...

What? You can't just agree to stuff like that without my permission!

Shut it. When we get back to that castle we're gonna have a real good talk.

But MOOOOOOOOOOOM!

I'll get Ageha to help. We'll start by having you confess all the crimes you've committed. Oh, and I'm moving back in. I've got my eye on you mister. And if I see you do anything suspicious... You're gonna regret the day you were born, buster!

A talk?! Oh no, anything but that! Please! I'll even wash the floors!

Nah-ah. Now get your butt over here and let's go home.

Hah! Good luck, Genshy!

Curse you Shigure! I'll get you next time! And your little swordsman, too!

And that's that.

Guess so!

I did pretty good this time, huh? I actually got engaged! And I even got closer to getting rid of that scum once and for all.

When you put it that way, guess so!

Why don't we head back to the dojo, Aldo? I must tell mother and father about our little adventure.

Sure! Let's go.

Hey! It's Shion and Akane!

You're right! I had forgotten about how she was in Nagsham!

Hey!

Shigure! Aldo! You're back!

Hey, guys.

What were you two up to?

We were just talking about Akane's new comb.

Oh yeah! I remember you mentioning that! So, did you get it?

I did! I was just showing it to Shion just now.

Wow, that sure is pretty.

It's more than that! It's also super tough, so it won't break, even with the muscles I got!

Why would you need muscles for combing your hair?! You should be more gentle with your hair, Akane.

Yeah, I guess, but hey, look at how silky smooth it is now!

Is it? It looks like the mess it always is.

LOOK CLOSER! It's all shiny and beautiful!

Nope, can't tell the difference. Sorry.

GET. CLOSER.

Like the shining manes of Matsukaze and Shirayuki! Right?

......

......

Matsukaze and Shirayuki? You mean this was for some horses?

What? What are you talking about?

Ah, um, sorry, nevermind.

So that sign wasn't much of a sign at all, eh?

Of course it was a sign! I almost got married! Today was indeed a lucky day! Hah!

You almost got married?!

Yes, a woman wanted me to marry her family...

Shigure.

Yes? Can't wait to throw an early wedding party, is it?

Don't you mean marry "into" her family?

Is that how you say it?! Hah!

You should know this by now.

You sure do know everything, brother. Once again, I am a little bit wiser!

Me too! Hah!

Oh yeah, I forgot one important detail.

How important?

Your wedding attire!

What?

I'm not the only one that's supposed to get all dressed up! You two, have to do it, too!

The both of you are invited. So that means you need the right clothes! Let's head over to the kimono shop and have a chat with the owner. It's gonna get busy around here!

Shigure, I thought the marriage was on hold?

Aldo! Hey there! I completely forgot you were there. Don't worry, you're invited too. Let's go to Izana!

Can I fight in these new clothes?

No, you can't.

Shion?! Stop those two, will ya?!