Can a Woodcutter Work without Trees?

*sigh*

Huh? What's with the sigh, Philo? Something wrong?

Oh Aldo! Take a look at this tree, isn't it just awesome!

Just seeing it makes me like... like I'm gonna lose it!

Why are you so intent on that tree?

Oh right, trees are rare in this era.

Yeah! And the natural ones are SUPER rare!

Looks like this tree is artificial, but it was really well made!

You serious?! I couldn't tell at all.

I bet you can't! Oh...I don't think I can do it...

I HAVE TO CHOP IT DOWN!

Whoa! Wha...? Slow down! You can't just go swinging that thing around in a place like this!

Hehehe! I can't fight this feeling, Aldo! I'm a woodcutter after all!

W-Wait! That's not what it means to be a woodcutter!

Huh?

A woodcutter doesn't just go around randomly cutting down trees. If you go around willy-nilly cutting down too many trees, then you'll be in real trouble right?

I...I didn't really think about that.

Aldo! You're like really an expert on this woodcutting business!

Uh... I wouldn't say that I'm an "expert"... But it is fairly common work in my village.

Wow! That's totally nuts! To tell the truth... I've never even cut down one tree.

The whole "woodcutter" thing is just something I call myself.

I didn't realize that.

Then, how did you learn about woodcutters in the first place?

Hmm... I don't really remember how I first heard of them. It must have been in some e-book or video I saw. Can't say for sure which.

Whatever it was, there was this woodcutter that was just so cool.

You saw or read about a cool woodcutter?

Yep! And some day, I want to become an amazing woodcutter just like him!

But if I cut down a tree down in Elzion, I'll get in so much trouble. This one time I was really about to cut one down, but I got caught by the EGPD.

I'm lucky that you were here to stop me this time!

So it's not the first time.

If you want to chop a tree down so badly, why not cut one down in another era?

Huh?

Back in my era there are tons of the trees. We could find someone to teach you.

R-Really?! Really really?!

Really.

Yay! Thank you so much! I'm gonna cut down a tree... I'm gonna cut down a tree...

I'm ready! Take me to your trees!

I like the spirit, but calm down a bit. First things first, we'll head to Baruoki to teach you how to cut trees.

Wooooooowww! There are so many trees and plants and other green things.

Haha. I can see you're excited. But it is a nice place, isn't it?

It is! I love it! Ooh, what are those people talking about?

Excuse me. Did you happen to get an order from Unigan?

Oh, Aldo, is that you? Been awhile.

I did get an order, in fact. They placed another order for a ludicrous amount of lumber. But I get it, they need it for the castle reconstruction project or something.

Hang on. Maybe you could help me!

Sure, I'd like to help out, but we might have someone even better here.

Ummm... Excuse me sir. Can I do it? Can I?!

You?

Hey kiddo. Cutting down a tree means you gotta swing a big ol' ax. You think those noodle arms can handle the job?

You bet they can!

Just watch me! I've been practicing for like ever!

Hahaha! You remind me of what Aldo was like at your age, kiddo!

Like Aldo, really?

That's right. Aldo used to swing an ax around, just buzzing to help me out!

He used to swing the ax around in the village so much, he'd tire himself out by the time we got to the forest.

One time he got his ax stuck in a tree and burst into tears.

That's enough already! Just so you know, I didn't burst into tears! I just got a wood chip in my eye, that's all!

Hahah! Okay, okay. I'll take your word for it.

Dang... This was a really bad choice. I should've asked someone else.

But I have to say, it seems like you got a lot more potential than Aldo did at your age, kiddo!

O-Okay! I'll do my best! Can you teach me how to chop down a tree?!

All right! The first thing you gotta do to chop a tree is...

*gulp*

Think back to the most traumatic moment of your entire life!

A-A traumatic moment?

For me, it was the moment that I realized how large the size of my forehead was.

I thought I was prepared for it when I saw my pops. But actually coming to terms with it...

So I turned that pain into my strength. You can come up with two if ya like.

Here's my other one, A cute girl I like once told me, "I like you, too. You're just like a brother!"

Ngwoooooo...!

What did she mean, "like a brother?!"

See? It shouldn't be that hard. Now, give it a shot.

G-Got it! I'll give it a shot!

What did she mean, "like a brother?!"

Whoooa!

Heheh! So, whaddya think?

I've... I've never seen such strength!

This strength... How much trauma have you endured to gain this strength, kiddo?!

I don't think it takes a painful memory just to swing an ax.

Umm... Well I've never really thought about it, so I just watched you and did the same!

I-I see... Well then, you've passed the training session.

It's now officially up to you, kiddo. I want you to go to the Moonlight Forest and get some lumber.

Y-Yes, sir! I promise I won't disappoint you!

Righto, I'll lead the way. Next stop, the Moonlight Forest.

How about this tree? It looks pretty good, doesn't it?

Wow, what an incredible tree! So strong and sturdy... I'm so excited about this!

Haha! You're just raring to go. Welp, let's hurry and get started then.

Now I can finally chop down a tree! Finally I'll be a woodcutter!

Hnnnnggggh!!

...Huh?

Are you okay, Philo?

Sorry... I must have put too much pressure on myself. This time I'll get it! Here I go!

Keep going! Just a little more!

Waaah!

N-No... I can't...

Is something wrong? Are you feeling sick?

No, that's not it... It's just that whenever I try to cut down a tree, I suddenly lose my strength. Maybe this is like when a warrior trembles with excitement before a battle?!

More like a newborn deer when it tries to stand up.

That's it! The joy of the moment shakes my mind, body, and soul!

O-Okay...

And... it may be that I am not yet ready for such a worthy adversary as this magnificent tree. If it were a bit smaller, then it would be perfect!

If you say so, Philo.

Come on. Let's find a smaller tree.

Baaahh!

*pant* I caaan't...

Hmm... This tree's no good either.

At this rate I won't even chop a twig! Maybe I'm not up to becoming a woodcutter...

Cheer up buddy. I know it's hard now...

Macky-Macky!

Stop that... Cheering me up won't help me magically gain the power to cut a tree down.

Macky? Mack-Macky!

I told you to cut it out.

What the?! Philo, b-behind you!

Behind me?

I'm serious this time! That's a tree...

......

Macky?

Woah! I-It's a tree!

Calm down Philo! It's a tree monster... not a real tree.

I-I can't do it!! I can't do anything against a tree!

Macky? Macky-Macky?

Get back!!

D-Don't come any closer!!

Maaah-cky!!

Huh? Did you just...

I-I did it! I chopped it down, Aldo!

Good job, Philo! You finally cut down a tree!

Macky-Macky!

But its friends don't look so happy about that! Let's keep it up!

Take this!!

M-M-Macky!

*pant pant* I really did it! It wasn't a fluke!

This is the most bestest day of my life! I finally cut down a tree!

W-Well, not exactly a tree, but a monster that looks like a tree.

But you did manage to cut it down. So now, you should be able to chop down any tree in a jiffy!

Yeah! I won't lose this time! Watch this, Aldo!

Hnnnngah!!

I think he's got it!

Graaah!!

No... I still can't do it.

What?!

Hmm... Well, we still got all this lumber from those tree monsters, so we should be good to go!

Will that work? Sure they look like trees, but using them for lumber?

I guess it's worth a shot. Let's haul them back. You did a good job, Philo.

Yay! Will the woodcutter think so too?

I'm sure he will. Alright, let's head back to Baruoki.

*hums proudly*

Well there! Looking chipper as ever! Did ya cut down a good one?

Well, Umm... The thing is...

Yup! I sure did! Here, take a look!

Hmmm... You certainly did... What's this?

Wh-What on earth is this?!

Uh oh! I don't think we fooled him.

Hey, kiddo, what the heck is this?!

B-But, did I do something wrong?

You kidding, this is incredible! This is lumber from a tree monster, right?!

They usually live far to the west and we rarely see them around here! The lumber is ten times more valuable than a normal tree!

There isn't much, but this should surely satisfy the merchant! Thanks a bunch, kiddo!

Reeeally?! Yay! My hard work paid off!

Oh, but, could I maybe take one for myself?

Of course, kiddo! You earned it.

Alright then, I'm off to Unigan to take care of business. Thanks again, kiddo. You too, Aldo.

Yahoo! He said I did a good job! That means I'm now a real woodcutter!

Oh, well, if you really think so...

(Monster hunter might be more appropriate, but oh well...)

By the way, what are you gonna do with the tree you asked for?

I'm gonna show it to my grandpa and grandma! I can prove to them that I'm a woodcutter now!

Oh really? I'm sure that they will be happy to see it.

Yeah! Thank you, Aldo! I couldn't have done it without you!

Look out! Here comes a woooodcuuutter♪ Woodcutter♪ Woodcutter♪ I...am...a...woodcutter♪

He technically still hasn't cut down a tree. But he seems happy and that's what matters.