As You Like It

Miglance Postal! I've got a letter for you!

Hi there, Elseal! Busy day today?

Nothing I can't handle! "Near or far, rain or shine, Miglance Postal is always on time!"

I can't believe this...

Delivery! Can I get you to sign for this?

Huh? Is everything alright? You look like someone stole your dog...

Oh, hey, Elseal. You're not far off the mark actually. Someone just robbed my shop.

Whaaat?! That's terrible! Are you okay? Nobody got hurt, right?!

Nah, nothin' like that. Everyone's safe.

Well that's a relief! But it really sucks that they took your stuff...

What happened exactly?

Not much to say really. I looked away for a second and when I turned back all my armor was gone.

I see...

Did they take anything else? Just the armor?

Just the armor. The one silver lining was that I hadn't got around to putting out my weapon stock for the day, so they didn't get that at least.

Thank goodness my little babies are safe!

Pardon?

O-Oh, uh... I was just admiring your stock. They're all so pretty and shiny!

You've got a good eye! I polish my stock by hand every day.

No touching though, I'd hate to see you cut yourself.

Yessir!

Uwah! Look at the time! I better get a move on!

Don't work too hard!

And remember, "When you need it delivered with a bit of finesse, send it express via MLPS!"

'Kay, where to next?

Delivered with finesse, eh?

Splendid! You're just the kind of laborer I required. I have delivery demanding immediate attention.

Huh? Well uh, I mean I'd love to, but... I've got a lot of other deliveries today, so...

I pay more than they do, I assure you.

That's not the issue! We deliver on a first-come first-serve basis. We can't give anyone special treatment!

...Hrmm. It would seem Miglance Postal's exemplary reputation is well deserved. You're as honorable as you are reliable.

Th-That's quite the compliment.

Thanks for being so understanding...

, And that's exactly why you're the only ones I can trust with such an important job.

Huh? Uhh, are you even listening?

This box contains a priceless enchanted sword of extraordinary power.

E-Enchanted you say...?

Unparalleled quality?! Spared no expense?!

, Why didn't you say that in the first place?! I'll do it! I'm your girl! Hand it over!

T-Truly...? You'll take the job then?

You bet I will! My next delivery's over in Rinde anyhow. It's really no problem at all!

V-Very well, then. I leave it in your care.

I'm honored! Thank you so much! You won't regret thiiis!

......

Pleeease! You've gotta understand!

Hey, isn't that...

Whaddaya mean "routine inspection"?! You've never done that before now!

In light of the recent string of thefts, we need to be extra vigilant.

Ugh, look I get it, but that doesn't mean I have to agree to it.

Listen, courier. If you keep refusing to comply we'll be forced to take you in for questioning.

W-Wait a second!

Huh? Aldo?!

I thought I knew that voice from somewhere...

Aldo! You've gotta back me up here...!

Do you know this girl, sir?

Yeah, she's with me.

Then please tell her to comply. These kinds of checks are integral to the safety and stability of the kingdom.

I only caught about half of it, but they're just checking for stolen goods, right?

Well yeah, but I can't have them tearing open my client's packages without their consent...

Well I don't think your clients would like the authorities being suspicious of them either, do you?

......

...Fine. But just a peek, 'kay?

We'll be careful with it.

Hm? What do we have here?

See? That wasn't so bad, was it, Elseal?

Sniffle...

H-Hey! What are you looking so depressed for?

Was there some other reason you didn't want to show them?

YEEES!!! That knight, they... They, !

Oh...!

A sword, huh? Let's see here...

A-Ahh...

No... This isn't the one that was reported.

H-Hey...! Don't touch the blade directly with your hands! Don't you know that the oil in your skin can cause increased rates of corrosion in tempered steel?! According to Blacksmith's Quarterly issue #142...

Stop your babbling courier! This is important work! Do I need to have you restrained?

Eek! S-Sorry...

Sheesh...

Sure is in beautiful condition for such an old blade. Wouldn't mind having something like this mounted over my mantle...

They TOUCHED it...! Right on the blade! WHO DOES THAT?!?!?! There were fingerprints all over it! I could almost hear the poor thing screaming in pain!

I-Isn't the blood that gets on it during battle way worse...?

That thing's been around for a long time. It's not going to crack just from someone touching...

Grr! You just don't get it, do you Aldo?

S-Sorry. I guess I don't. Swords all kinda look the same to me.

They are NOT all the same! Show a little respect!

O-Okay, okay...

I guess the sword WOULD be pretty happy if it knew how much its owner cared for it.

Right?! I knew you'd catch on!

Weapons are like a window into the era, people, and techniques that created them! They're a perfectly crystalized moment of history, and deserve to be treated as such!

Take the sword I'm delivering for example. Just from its outward appearance we can surmise that it's at least 100 years old. But it's got SO much more to tell us! Check out the threads used on the hilt wrap here...

(We lost her... I forgot how she gets once she starts talking about weapons.)

(Wow... She's really into it, a real connoisseur.)

S-Sorry to interrupt, Elseal, but weren't you in the middle of your deliveries?

Uwah! You're right! I gotta go...!

Rinde, right? Mind if I tag along?

I can at least help you carry some of your stuff.

What?! No way! I couldn't ask you to do that!

You've got, like, Aldo-stuff to do, right?!

Well I mean, we're already halfway there, and I was enjoying the conversation anyhow.

O-Oh yeah? Well I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the company, but...

That settles it then. Let's head over via the Serena Coast.

...I guess there's no point arguing with him.

...It should be fine as long as he doesn't get in the way of my work.

All we gotta do is kill the broad and grab the sword. Doesn't get much easier than that, 'eh?

Gwahahaha! You got that right! An' speak of the devil. Let's get in position.

...And you wouldn't believe the method they used to forge it! First they...

...Oh well. I'm just glad I've got someone to talk to for once. I spend a lot of time alone on these jobs.

Yeah, I guess that would be the case for someone in your line of work. Do you usually have to travel all over the kingdom?

Yep! "Delivering north or south, east or west, Miglance Postal is the very best!"

You've got your missions from Mailed Sheep to deal with, too huh?

I bet you've seen your share of danger.

Heheh... Yeah, I've been in a pinch or two...

But as long as I don't let my guard down, I can handle anything that comes my way!

Don't you go through some pretty dangerous areas, though?

Well yeah, but we train for it.

Hey! I guess that means I must be pretty strong to be able to walk around places like this all by myself, huh?

Hm...?

But yeah, it doesn't hurt to stay vigilant.

You just gotta keep asking yourself, "I wonder if there's a smelly old bandit hiding behind that rock over there..."

Hey! Sniff-sniff...I ain't smelly!

Shut yer piehole! They'll hear ya!

Hey... Is there someone over there?

Blast it! At this rate...!

Screw it...!

Uwaaah! There totally WAS someone over there!

Fweheheh... Don't hate us fer this, kid. Jus' wasn't yer lucky day.

Hand over the goods...and yer lives.

Nope! No way! That is NOT happening!

Let's see you try and take them!

Yeah! What he said! My clients are counting on me, and I ALWAYS deliver on time!

P-Please! We was jus' followin' orders! That broad's the one who told us to steal the sword!

The "Bewitching Blade", she called it. Said it craves human blood, an'...

Shut yer trap! You wanna get us killed?!

L-Look. All we was told was to be on the lookout fer a broad traveling with a sword. We was sposed to kill her on sight an' snatch it.

Who's the scoundrel that sent you?

Sh-She'd have me head if I told ya that! I-I'm sorry, really! I'll stop me evil ways! Spare me!

...Alright. But swear to me that you won't ever try something like this again.

I swear on me mother's grave, I do!

That could've been bad. You okay, Elseal?

...Elseal?

That's...

THAT'S SO FRICKIN COOOOOL! The Bewitching Blade?! I've never once seen that name in the Royal Encyclopedia of Weapons and Armor, and I've read it seven times! Th-This could be a weapon that was lost to history! A totally new discovery! I've gotta write this down, !

H-Hellooo~? You still with us, Elseal?

I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were special! Can I call you "Beebee"?! We're gonna be friends forever!

......

Sigh... If only we had more time! We could train together, and fight monsters together, and have dinner together, and take baths together, and, Shoot. We're already at Rinde.

I don't think your client would be very happy about that, Elseal.

...Urk! I know, I know!

We may not have much longer together, but I swear to keep you safe until the very last step of our journey!

...Don't you think it's kinda strange, though? Why would someone send such a precious sword to a common knight...?

Thank you for coming all this way.

Sniffle... Goodbye, sweet prince...

...Did you say something?

N-Nothing! Nothing at all! Thanks for signing for it!

And don't forget, "Need to send a letter? MLPS does it better!"

Thanks a bunch for coming out all this way with me.

No worries. It was fun.

There was one thing that bothered me, though...

Oh yeah! I still had one more delivery to take care of here! It totally slipped my mind!

I'm really sorry, Aldo! I've gotta go!

Wait a, Elseal...!

There was definitely something off about that knight just now. I need to check on something.

Now I understand... That swordsman traveling with the courier looked like he had some backbone to him. A pair of common goons was never going to be enough. I'd hoped to test the sword's thirst for blood while no one was looking, but...

Well, it matters not. With the supplies we stole from the humans the preparations for our uprising are complete. There will be PLENTY of blood to feast on once the battle begins.

Special Delivery!

......

...Can I help you, courier?

Actually there was another letter I forgot to pass on to you.

...I wasn't expecting mail.

......

You really shouldn't talk to yourself out loud like that. What you say can and will be used against you and all that. The evidence was damning enough without you making it worse for yourself. Looks like I was right to "accept" that fishy delivery request.

I'm returning you to sender! Your days of harming the kingdom are over!

...Bweheheh.

What? Is this funny to you...?!

Bwahahaha! You'll regret coming here here alone, girl!

Oh? A wolf in sheep's clothing, huh?

I'm going to enjoy torturing you. I'll take my time with it, make sure the blade can savor every last drop of your lifeblood!

Gh...?!

Aah, what a beautiful expression. I can smell your fear. Shall I let you in on a little secret before the end? The Bewitching Blade will only show its true potential after absorbing human blood. Once it awakens, we'll use it and all the other weapons we've stolen to storm the royal capital. I was planning to cut you down in secret, away from prying human eyes, but that hardly matters now. Die, and let the history of a new world order be written in your blood...!

You're disgusting...

You think I'd ever allow that?!

Gragh...!

I'll never let you use innocent weapons for such a despicable plan...!

S-Such speed...! She's...no simple courier...

Are you okay, Beebee?! You didn't get scratched did you?!

Thank goodness! I was really worried I was gonna get his blood on you! What if your hilt got stained?!

That sounded like a fight just now... Hey! Is someone over there?!

Uwah! A-A-Aldo...?! What's HE doing here?

I really don't want him to get mixed up in this...

I can't let him find out about my work...!

I better hide this somewhere...

Oh, hey Elseal! Weren't you out on a delivery...?

Huh?! What are you doing with THAT?!

Hm? Whatever could you mean, Aldo?

......

I need to head off to my next delivery, now! See ya later...

I can see it poking out plain as day. That's the sword you delivered to the knight earlier!

Huh?! N-No it's not! This is...

Wanna explain what you're doing with that, Elseal?

Uh, ummm...

A-Actually it turns out I delivered it to the wrong person!

That knight tracked me down, and he was all like, "Hey! This isn't what I ordered!"

...Are you sure about that?

Y-Yep! Totally sure! I was just now about to head back to reconfirm the address with the client... I'll make sure to take extra care with it until then!

...Alright. As long as you're taking care of it it should be fine.

You're heading back towards Unigan, right? I'm a bit worried about what happened on the way here, so I'll go with you.

Thanks, Aldo! Shall we, then?

Shoot... We're here. I guess this is where we part ways, huh... I'm gonna miss you, Beebee. I can't believe they said such a cute, cuddly little sword would feed on human blood. You'd never do something like that, would you?

...I don't need to worry about that thing getting conveniently lost in the mail, do I?

Of course not! I take my job seriously, you know!

I'm going to go deal with it now. Thanks for all your help today, Aldo!

...I guess I should get a move on as well.

Whoa...!

Sorry, kid! Wasn't watchin' where I was goin'. You all good?

Yeah, I'm fine...

Hey! Aren't you Ewan?!

'Ey! It's Aldo, right? Guess that explains the huge sword.

You looked like you were in a hurry there. Did something happen?

Huh? Haven't I seen you somewhere before...?

You sell weapons, right?

Yea, that's right. The name's Ewan.

Now I rememba! Yer the kid who came by with that massive piece of metal.

Yeah, my name's Aldo. You looked like you were in a hurry there. Did something happen?

That's a fine piece of metal, kid...

Huh? You know of Ogre Rancorem? Who are you?

The name's Ewan. I'm a weapons broker, an' I wouldn't be much of one if I couldn't tell how dangerous that thing is from a mile away.

Oh, yeah? Well, I'm Aldo. Good to meet you.

You looked like you were in a hurry there. Did something happen?

Yea. Friend of mine had a certain blade stolen from him, and I'm here ta get it back. I bolted ova here after hearin' about some kid in Unigan sportin' a sword matchin' the description.

Wait... Did it...

Did it have a name? Something like the "Bewitching Blade"?

Yea! That's the one! Wasn't expectin' it ta be this easy. Must be my lucky day.

So where's it at?

A friend of mine has it, but I'm not sure where she ran off to. She left just a little while ago.

Guess that means she hasn't gotten far, then.

Good thing too, 'cause it'll be bad news if I don't find that thing quickly.

Huh? Why?

'Cause it's cursed. It'll possess an' ultimately destroy anyone dumb enough to use it.

Wait, what?! Elseal's been walking around with that thing all day...!

Now it all makes sense! That must be why she got so obsessed with it...!

That ain't good, kid. We'd betta find her fast.

Yo! Ya seen anyone with a sword on their back go by here?

Oh, you guys saw her too? Not every day you see someone happily skipping along with a strange sword on their back.

Ya know which way she went?

She was headed towards the west gate. She's probly in the Karek Swampland by now.

Thanks!

Ready to give yourself up yet?

Ngh...!

Geez... You're a real jerk, you know that? I can't believe you'd send beasts after me and try to make a mess of the kingdom.

You're the one who should be surrendering.

There are no witnesses out here. I'm going to murder you, and there will be no one to hear you scream!

Wh-what?!

And that's that. I guess Aldo could've probly done it faster, but I'd say I did pretty good.

Looks like we can finally have some quality time together, Beebee!

Aah...! Look at you! That gorgeously engraved scabbard! The meticulously crafted groove snaking up the side of your blade! That cute little nick in the right side of your guard...

Hands off the metal, kid!

Elseal! I found out who that sword really belongs to! The real owner is an acquaintance of Ewan here!

Aldo?! Wh-What're YOU doing here?!

The sword was stolen from them! That means that whoever it was that gave it to you is probably...

...The culprit? Uhhh, who is that behind you?

...I-I didn't do anything! He was like that when I got here!

And I already figured out the sword was stolen. I was just on my way to give it back...!

...Fine, whatever. Just hand it over already.

Ah...

You don't wanna be messin' around with this thing, trust me.

G-Goodbye, Beebee... I'll never forget you.

Um... Do you mind if I ask you something? Is it true that the sword draws its power from human blood?

That's nothin' but a tall tale. Just one of the many baseless rumors surroundin' this bad boy.

I figured! That's a relief.

...... Sniff.

What's with that creepy look? Whaddaya want?

...I can smell it on you.

'Eh?

Clove oil, leather, and iron... The smell of an armory...!

Well yea. That's 'cause I'm a weapons broker.

Seriously?! Sniffety-sniffety-sniff!

Ya eva heard of personal space, kid?! Geez!

...Why's she so obsessed with weapons?! Is the blade still influencin' her...?

Nah, this is a different kind of "curse"...

I'm begging ya! You've gotta show me your weapons stash! PLEEEEEEEAAASE!!!

Ya just don't learn, do ya? Can't help ya, kid. I got what I came for, so it's about time I left.

W-Wait for meee~!

H-Hey! What am I supposed to do about the culprit...?!

We came as soon as we got the report. You've captured a thief, correct?

I, uh... I guess so?

Thank you for your cooperation.

...Elseal had to have had something to do with what happened here. It's way too convenient otherwise.

But I'm her ally, too. I can't just keep leaving everything on her shoulders.

It feels like trouble follows Elseal everywhere she goes... Delivery work can't really be this dangerous, right?

Now that I think about it, it does kinda seem like she's hiding something...