An Army Marches on its Stomach

Pip-pop, pep-pip, popop-pepip♪

Ah, another mail from the head instructor.

I wonder if it's another errand for us?

It's quite feasible. Now let's see.

Oh my word. Mr. Aldo, I appear to have been assigned...a top-secret mission!

A "top" secret one? Not just a regular secretive one? Seems important.

It does! Which makes it rather puzzling that she would entrust it to me.

You're a top-rank cadet aren't you? It makes sense to me. So, what's it say?

Yes, indeed. Let's see, hmhmhm. I'm to meet with the Administrator, and receive orders directly. Everything is to be conducted with the utmost secrecy.

If the Administrator is involved it'll be an important job probably.

I can hardly make sense of this. What could a lowly cadet such as I possibly help a great man like the Administrator with?

Don't put yourself down. They wouldn't have asked you if they didn't think you were capable.

That seems reasonable, Mr. Aldo, certainly... Thank you for your encouragement.

This could be quite good for your career couldn't it? If you were to succeed on a big mission like this.

Indeed, you might have a point there! If I give my all for this I'm sure it'll bring me one step closer to my dream!

Ah, you're the cadet who'll be assisting me? And Aldo again... Good to see you.

Yes, it's me, Cadet Moina, reporting in for duty!

Very good, at ease.

Should I stay out of this one, sir?

No, that won't be necessary. I think you've done enough to prove that the risk of you betraying us is negligible.

Awaiting orders, sir.

As you know, the damn synths have been persistently attacking the city's key amenities.

Indeed... The airport was hit again just the other day, wasn't it, sir?

As a matter of fact that's where I need you to go. The repair works there have come to a near standstill. We have to do something about the situation. The repairfolk are deeply dissatisfied; there are even whispers of an imminent strike.

It'd be chaos if the airport were to become inoperational!

That's why I've assigned you on a morale-boosting mission, find out the repairfolks' grievances... and reassure them that the government is taking their concerns seriously.

We'll show those repairfolk the meaning of motivation, sir.

Well, I know nothing about this sort of thing so I'll just help out where I can.

Thank you, both of you. I believe young and approachable personnel like yourselves will be perfectly suited to this mission. The repairfolks' manager should be at the airport, he'll be the person to talk to.

What are you schmucks doing skulking around here?! Can't you see we've got men at work!

W-We're anything but schmucks! We're here on behalf of the Administrator, to carry out a top-secret mi...

Uh, Moyna?! Do I need to get out a dictionary and remind you what "secret" means?

O-Oh, yes! Honestly, I surprise even myself with my clumsiness sometimes.

Yes, as I was saying, Mr. Manager, I've come with my friend Mr. Aldo on a special mission: to cheer you and your repairfolk up!

Well, we always like a good old cheer-up. Except for today that is.

Where are the repairfolk, by the by?

Oh, it's their day off today. It's their day off tomorrow too, just like it was yesterday... Yep, everyday's a day off right now.

Oh dear, I suppose you're trying to tell us that a strike has already started up?

Personally, I refuse to throw in the towel. Though in truth I can't get much work done without any lackeys to point and shout at.

We're too late! We can't cheer up the repairfolk if they're all at home watching holo-TV, and therefore already cheerful!

'Cept they've gotta come back to work sometime. It's so upsetting when the stuff we repair gets unrepaired straight away, y'know? Then to go and add injury to insult, those synths even went and roughed up some of our guys. It was terrifying. *sob*

My word, such villainy. However, sir, however...

You've got to keep at it. If you stop working it'll mean the synths cause even more damage.

Exactly! It's important work.

We ain't a team of Hercules. Important as the work may be, we get tired heavin' and hoeing day after day.

Then perhaps you'd appreciate something sweet to restore your energy? I know I always like me a Sugarcrump after a tough day at the Academy.

I wonder if anyone still knows the recipe for Crowning Glory Cake in this era.

Crowning Glory Cake? Why, that's an excellent suggestion. And did you know it goes excellently with Sassy Red's Orange Juice?

Crowning Glory Cake or Choconut Crispcakes, now that's a toughie...

Easier than picking between Popotartines and Sugarcrumps though. That's like choosing between siblings!

Well I know the easy way to settle the the debate: eat the lot! We'll have sweeties for starter, main and dessert!

(I'm having flashbacks to that time in the tavern with Ewan...)

My enthusiasm for sweeties seems to have startled you, Mr. Aldo. Do you go in more for savory things?

Just in case you were wondering, my favorite sweet snack is Regachoco Brownies.

Oh Gnome, not those... Do they still make them completely coated with sugar?

Yup, a nice, thick, healthy coating of sweet, sweet sugar. Man, I've gotten energetic just listenin' to you two. Why don'tcha go share some of your spunk with the other repairfolk?

We can do that, but let's also get them some sweeties to go with the spunk.

The guys will really appreciate that. Anything's fine as long as it's got absurd amounts of sugar; the choice is yours.

Everyone's sweet-teeth are counting on our sound judgement, Mr. Aldo! Can you feel the pressure?

How about you, Moyna? We can get something you want, and something for the others at the same time.

I know: crêpes! There's a great crêperie in the Laula Dome.

That's what I read in last month's issue of "Sweetie Coocoo Chowdown," at least.

Sounds like you have that on good authority. Let's head off.

Welcome to the one and only Laula Dome Crêperie!

This is it Mr. Aldo! We're actually here!

Ah, the smell of cinnamon. Can't beat it. Do you think the one with Laulian Lemon filling tastes any good?

Excellent, no doubt! If the Chowdown review's 77 star rating for that flavor is to believed.

And why would you doubt it? The flavors were described so vividly I almost wanted to lick the words on the page, Mr. Aldo! The batter is seasoned with the juices of lemons, lychees and limes, all picked in the local Laulian fields. The crêpeterians made the smart decision not to replace their natural sugars with sweeteners. The result is a crêpetastic flavor to savor!

Oh wow... Good to know our advertising has worked a treat. Having people memorize your slogans is every slogan-maker's dream.

You know, there might only be one other person across all of space and time... that's as much of a sweet-freak as you, one of my friends from my own era.

Is that so? Then perhaps the only way I'll be able to outdo them is...by ordering everything on the menu!

That's more like going toe-to-toe with him really...

If we don't buy them all, it's possible some will go uneaten. This is a matter of duty.

That's...that's right! Well, please do enjoy.

Wowzers, we sure bought a lot. Now, as is my habit, I'll start with the strawb...

Hey, do you remember the part about these crêpes being for the repairfolk?

My word!

What calamity. To think that my expectation of treating my sweet-tooth to a creptatious array of flavors... would be vanquished! Vanquished by the helpful reminder of my friend Mr. Aldo!

We can always come again...

My sweet-teeth won't forgive me if we don't!

Don't tell me the synths raided all the candy stores too? You look tearful.

We...we brought crepes. Please enjoy.

Wowzers, there sure are a lot aren't there. Does this one say "Laulian Lime"? It's been yonks since I've had that.

We bought the lot... Promise me you won't *sniff* leave a single grain of sugar unsavored. *sob*

Is this...a hard separation for you? We could spare you the dragoncheese-flavored ones if you really wanted.

I think it's best that Moyna learns the old adage "you can't have your crêpe and eat it," I think it was.

Take them sir. Fill your bellies, satiate your sweet-teeth, and be happy. Then with your newfound happiness, and newfound energy, dedicate yourselves wholly to the service of our glorious city!

M'lady! Pick me!

Beep-beep-beep-beep, beep, beep, beep♪ Bip-bip-bip-bip-bip, bip, beep, bip-beep♪

Tuneful. Nonetheless, I'm fairly sure this heralds bad news.

Moyna, over there!

Synth humans... You don't suppose they've come for the crêpes, do you?

Now this is a welcome sight: the stuff we busted up last time is still unfixed. The repairfolk musta been too demoralized, the poor schmucks. And now we're gonna put this zone into a state of beyond repair!

Oh no you're not!

You'll have to go through me! Let's see which of us breaks first!

Are you unharmed, Mr. Manager?

I'm fine except for my jaw, it hit the floor when I saw you guys in combat. That was really something!

Just doing our jobs, sir. It's our secret missi...

Moyna, do I need to reach for my dictionary again? Maybe put a bookmark on the page with "secret" on it?

As I was saying, me and my friend Mr. Aldo consider ourselves to be something like protectors of the peace. So taking out synths is kind of part of our daily routine, you see!

I can't thank you enough for this. Now if you could just help me get my jaw off the floor, you'd be my hero for life, haha. Once I tell the others the tales of your heroism, they'll be so inspired they'll forget how to stop working.

How wonderful! Maybe it's best not to overdo it though?

You two have done exceedingly well. My thanks.

Oh, Mr. Administrator! Were we not to rendezvous back in your office?

That's right, but naturally I came running when I heard that tuneful red-alert alarm. Only to find that the synths threatening to bust things up have been reduced to little pieces themselves. Good show.

I couldn't have done it without Mr. Aldo's assistance, sir.

Either way, your performance on this mission was exemplary. I'll see to it that the Academy is fully informed of your exploits.

Our efforts today mean another little step towards prosperity for Elzion and its citizens.

Good to know you're not just in this for the accolades, Moyna. You really care about Elzion.

What's this all of sudden, Mr. Aldo?

It sounds like the Administrator was really impressed with you. You only seem to be interested in doing what you can for the city though.

Seeing this city flourish is my greatest reward. What kind of hero would gloat over accolades... while the place they're tasked to protect remains in ruins. Not me, Mr. Aldo. I'll never stop putting myself in the line of fire.