Fate/Grand Order story · Interludes, Interlude
Humanity's Mythology, Thunder and Lightning Descend
Interlude. Interlude
2 scenes, 226 lines
1. Before the battle
180 lines
The AC/DC Debate! Also known as the war of the currents!
You may think I'm just retreading the same ground as usual, but hear me out. Whatever you call it, this battle is the very essence of the eternal conflict between him and me!
Alternating current!?
Or direct current!?
Needless to say, as of the twenty-first century, civilization has proved beyond all doubt that alternating current is the superior technology...
...but in 1891, that mangy plebeian refused to see the truth. All he ever cared about was lining his own pockets.
...Uh-huh. Go on.
Thus, I responded with my greatest feat of high-frequency, high-voltage engineering; the crystallization of all my hard work and accumulated wisdom to that date!
I speak, of course, of using my Tesla coils, Tesla circuits, and hydraulic transformers...
...to conduct an electricity generation experiment at Niagara Falls in collaboration with the Westinghouse Company!
And it worked brilliantly!
Wow, that's amazing, Mr. Tesla. No wonder you were known as the modern-day god of thunder.
Ha ha ha, how very right you are, Madame Blavatsky. Indeed, while others have claimed such a title, I am the only one to make good on their promises!
Sir Benjamin Franklin may have proven that lightning could be tamed with his invention of the lightning rod, but I...went many steps further!
I accomplished the greatest feats of electricity humanity has ever seen! I am the true professor of thunder and lightning!
I am the one who relegated Zeus, Jupiter, Thor, Perkūnas, and countless other gods to relics of the past! I am the embodiment of the myth of humanity!
Indeed, three-phase alternating electrical current is the very hope of all humanity!
...Uh-huh. I see.
You keep mentioning this myth of humanity, but you've never defined it.
What is this myth of humanity you keep bringing up, anyway?
？！
Oh, hello, Master. I didn't see you there.
Have you come to hear my regularly scheduled speech?
You do these regularly!?
Hehe, I guess that's one way to put it. Every now and then, he just has to regale me with this stuff and get it out of his system.
Hahaha. While I usually pride myself on my composure, I must admit that even I cannot help but be embarrassed at hearing it put so plainly.
I must thank you for always indulging me in these self-redefinitions, Madame Blavatsky.
My musings on who I was as a human, what I accomplished, and what remained out of my reach would not be the same were it not for your attentive audience.
Oh, don't worry about me. I always enjoy hearing you go on.
Well, thank you again. Truly.
Even if this is something of a well-rehearsed speech of mine, I still need to warm up the engine, so to speak.
Now then, Master, I believe you wished to know what I mean when I occasionally refer to the myth of humanity.
Right. "Occasionally."
Yes.
I'd say it's a little more frequent than that, but yeah.
Haha, fair enough!
？！
Well, it's really quite simple.
The myth of humanity is just that, a myth involving humanity.
It is a myth that follows mankind's footsteps towards the future in real time, rather than looking back to retrace the footsteps of old and irrelevant gods.
It is, in other words, a wholly new myth for modern times.
Did you talk about it when you were alive, too?
Hmm. I don't remember reading about it in any of your biographies...
？！
I may have discussed it when I was still alive, but I'm certain it would never have found its way into a book.
After all, there were far too many experts in the world, mages included, for me to delve too deeply into myths of this nature.
While I was indeed a poet, musician, and philosopher in addition to being a prodigious engineer, I was neither a mage nor a hermeneutician, so it didn't seem my place to pursue.
Though I would have liked to hear more from Paul Ricœur while I was still alive.
Hmm. Sounds like you're not exactly obsessed with the idea then.
Though there is that other thing you say not infrequently. You know, the one the heaven and earth Heroic Spirits aren't too fond of.
What was it again? "The present is theirs"
"The future, for which I really worked, is mine."
Hahaha. True, but I certainly didn't mean it in that way.
It's not that I have a grudge against individual gods or legendary heroes, after all.
Could it be that you want to be a god yourself?
You want to be the deity in charge of modernor rather, electrical civilization?
Absolutely not!
However, the idea that humanity as a whole could now be called a god is an interesting one.
Now that humans have acquired godly power in the form of electricity at their fingertips, they can and should use it to advance their entire civilization. Indeed, that very process is the World System!
I'm sorry, World System?
Oh, have you forgotten? I could have sworn I talked about it before...
What was that again? Some kind of amazing energy system?
Haha, it's the name of my system designed to completely control lightning; a system that can provide alternating current through the very skies!
？！
Imagine a vast amount of energy, enough to reach every corner of the planet! A mechanism to supply electrical power wherever it is needed, forever freed from the constraints of wires!
If the World System were to be successfully installed, covering the whole world, there would no longer be energy haves and have-nots.
The blessings of electricity would be available equally to all, no matter where they may reside on the planet!
See? He's really something, right? You can't get much more grandiose than something that affects the whole world!
I really love it. It's all very Mahatma.
Hahahaha, feel free to shower me with even more praise, Madame Blavatsky. Ahh, it feels good to be appreciated!
Though, you know...
Hm?
This World System of yours...
It kind of sounds like the concept of mana, don't you think? You must've heard that before, no?
Hmm, no, I can't say that I have. And personally, I don't see it.
In fact, while we're on the subject, let's make this perfectly clear.
I don't care for things like mana or od one bit, my fair madam.
The Age of Gods is over. True Ether is long since gone. Mankind has left Mystics far behind.
Myth and legends have both been relegated to the distant past, where they now hold no more sway than mere illusion.
As humanity continued to further civilization and establish greater footholds into science, the old gods' bodies faded away, until they were no more than hazy Divine Spirits.
In mage circles, it is said that while this world was once abundant in Mystics...
...it has since become a world abundant in civilization, where even those with no specialized knowledge can enjoy the benefits of technology and energy.
...But is that really true, my fair madam?
Even today, a vast supply of magical energy née mana remains manifest throughout the planet...
...and Mystics continue to engage in mysterious machinations, even reaching a point where the very world itself teeters on the brink of destruction.
Indeed, I perceive both the great undertaking that was the Incineration of Humanity and the bleached Earth disaster to be the inevitable endpoint of Mystics themselves.
... ...
However, my World System is completely, perfectly safe!
Indeed, I would go so far as to say it represents the Myth of Safety and the Advent of Lightnin
A fat lot of good that does now!
Edison!
？！
What do you want, Mr. Half-Witted Late-to-the-Party Eccentric!? Where does someone who arrives too late get off interrupting my moment of profound understanding with Madame Blavatsky and Master!?
The only half-witted eccentric around here is you, you pompous fool! And what's this "Edison Arrives Too Late" nonsense?! How irritating!
And if anyone's late to the party, it's you, if you're still spouting all that nonsense about a World System and standing waves!
Haven't you ever heard of the Schumann resonances, you mangy plebeian!? You haven't learned a thing since you died!
Of course I know about Schumann and his resonances! And you're an even bigger fool than he was, since you couldn't even prove your theories when you were alive!
Huh?
What?
Think about it. Schumann was essentially following in my footsteps, right?
He would certainly never have arrived at the Schumann resonances had it not been for the critical insights he got from my World System.
He may not have explicitly said so in his writings, but we all know it's true.
...Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth, you narcissistic self-proclaimed genius!? Your sheer arrogance is exactlywhaaarrrggghhh, my electricity is slipping out!
What do you know? My electricity is slipping out too.
Okay, that's enough!
Aww...
W-well, if you say so, Madame Blavatsky...
Yes, I do. Both of you, keep your electricity where it belongs.
I swear, just because you're essentially the modern-day thunder gods doesn't mean you have to always be spoiling for a fight like the old ones were.
W-well, I know that was certainly the case for Thor, but I wouldn't say that was true of all the old thunder gods...
What's this now, Tesla? Are you actually a secret admirer of thunder gods?
What was that?
Hm? Was that a mosquito landing on me? I didn't think there were any mosquitos in the Wandering Sea.
...There must be a draft in here. That almost tickled.
...Almost tickled?
A mosquito?
Both of you, cut it out!
Stop that! No instant rematches!
...Hmph.
All right, seriously, enough! No more fighting, especially not in the library!
Do you want me to call the librarian? You'll make Murasaki Shikibu cry if she sees you two fighting.
No true gentleman would ever make a lady cry!
...Yes, you make a good point. This is a public institution, and just the sort of library we were hoping for at that.
Indeed, you're exactly right, Madame Blavatsky. As they say these days, this is not a good look.
Not only should we be more careful with our electricity, we should also take care not to have such shouted arguments.
In fact, now that I think of it, my own impassioned speech earlier must have crossed the bounds of acceptable volume levels too!
Hehe, no need to worry about that. I'd already cast a sound dampener spell before you got started.
So you can talk as loudly as you like without worrying about bothering anyone else.
But no more electricity, got it? The next time I see you two making sparks at each other, I'm blasting you with a spell of my own.
Yes, madam.
My apologies.
Hmm... Tesla, what would you say to making a gentleman's agreement?
Oh? What did you have in mind?
A moratorium on our AC/DC war while in the library. What do you think? It's a rather elegant suggestion, if I do say so myself.
Hmm...
(So all their fighting is actually a continuation of their AC/DC war, huh.)
Very well. I certainly have no interest in continuing to fight a war I have already won.
Oh?
As alternating current has been conclusively proven the stuff of dreams, and direct current the stuff of nightmares...
...it would be the height of foolishness to continue debating it.
Um, Tesla, what are you doing?
Okay, okay, I think you've made your
... ...
... ...
...Yes, you're right. It WOULD be the height of foolishness.
The sheer folly required to pursue a pipe dream as preposterous as the World System even after one's death, well...
It's so absurdly idiotic all one can do in response is laugh.
Ah.
Now don't you start too!
？！
I'll pipe YOUR dreams, you mangy plebeian!
So you've shown your true colors, you half-witted eccentric! You obviously never had any intention of agreeing to a truce!
I see now I have no choice but to halt your idiotic aspirations in their tracks myself!
As the king of inventors, it's my job to put runaway electricians like you in their place!
Do your worst!
Hahahahaha, now that's more like it! I can't even remember the last time I fought you in this Spirit Origin!
Gaaah, forget it! I give up!
Master, I'm going to put a Bounded Field up around them so they don't destroy the library. Once that's done, try and figure out a way to stop them!
G-got it!
Great!
That's a lot of pressure!
Don't worry! I know you can handle it!
？！
Graaaaaah! Let the two-hundred and thirty-sixth AC/DC war begin! Come forth, my mechanized infantry!!!
He's brought out that many!?
？！
Are you really summoning your underlings from a separate Singularity here to help you, you cheating bastard!?
What's wrong with that, you vapid pretty boy inventor!? I'm practically a Singularity-based Heroic Spirit already! Why else would I, the devastatingly handsome king of inventors, have the head of a lion?
That is, of course, not to say that it is not an exceptionally stylish visage to present to the world!
Shut up!
...This did escalate rather quickly, didn't it. Master, I'm sorry to ask this of you, but would you mind helping me?
I could easily handle the fleabag, but dealing with that many mechanized infantry at the same time is another story.
I guess you have a point.
Okay, but you owe me one!
？！
Much appreciated!
All right...let's remind this mangy plebeian just how powerful three-phase alternating electrical current truly is!
2. After the battle
46 lines
... ...
...Um, excuse me, everyone? I'm sorry to bother you, but...
...I was in the archives, but when I heard what sounded like explosions, I had to come see what was happening!
C-can someone please explain to me what happened here?
How did all those steel mannequins end up scattered across the floor?
And why are Lord Nikola Tesla and Lord Edison sprawled out alongside them?
(Huff... Gasp...)
M-my magical energy is completely spent. I can't even move anymore...
I'm so sorry about the disturbance, Murasaki Shikibu. We couldn't get these two blockheads to stop fighting, no matter how hard we tried!
I did my best to ensure they didn't damage the library, but in case they did...
...please feel free to bill all three of us for the charges.
I, uh, I see. Thank you for the offer, but that won't be necessary. The library is perfectly fine.
I'm more concerned with whether Lords Tesla and Edison are okay.
Oh sure, you don't have to worry about them! They'll be fit as a fiddle again in no time!
...You know, now that I think about it, they never went all out like this at Chaldea that often.
I'm sure they had plenty of pent-up frustration, so this should help get that out of their systems for a while.
I'd say this should keep them settled down for at least six months or so!
I see. So that's how this works...
Yeah, that tracks.
Y-you can tell too, huh?
Good to know.
I don't really get it myself, but that just seems to be the way young menno, these two whelps operate.
？！
...There, completely unharmed. I do apologize to all three of you for the trouble.
As a gentleman, it pains me deeply to think I may have caused you lovely ladies in particular any degree of distress.
Please, don't worry about the lion-head. I'll lock him uthat is to say, put him in the simulator myself.
Not if I put you there first, you pathetic wrestler reject.
Oh, if it isn't the pitiful wrestler wannabe in spandex. I didn't know you were still alive.
You bet I am. ...I can't go back to the Throne until I've at least seen your research papers.
You said something about a true World System earlier, yes? Well, I don't know anything about that, seeing as you never formally announced it.
So I decided to refrain from declaring it a failure until I at least read your presentation.
I don't have a company to manage or employees to provide for here. Right now, I'm only a scientist, just like any other.
So I figured I could deign to interact with you as a fellow scientist, rather than a company owner.
... ...
You guys...
How dare you!?
U-u-um, excuse me...? Could you please stop fighting in the library!?
Ahahahaha. (Deep sigh)
Ugh!!! Will you two cut it out already!?