XXXX. Mysterious Heroines

It's time...for the XXth Servantverse Servant Assembly!

Yaaay. (Clap, clap, clap, clap)

What the hell are you talking about, you piece of junk?

...Hmph. I am not junk. I am a robot. A killer machine that neither bleeds nor cries.

...At least for today, if you all don't mind.

Huh???

Oh come on, you're obviously just disguising your voice! I can literally see you wobbling your throat with your hand to do it!

There's no way a weird robot like that would exist in the Servantverse!

I don't have a problem with it. We already have Professor Babbagen and Evil Wind 2B.

This is my room, by the way. It's got a kotatsu and everything. Hehehe. I've also got plenty of sweets to go with our tea.

(...)

Oh please. As if a robot would ever want to go in a kotatsu.

You're weirdly nice to the walking scrap heap, Ex... I don't know why, but I don't like it!

Oh... Really?

She seems like a much better robot than my Black Knight Voloid. My Voloid can't even walk on two legs.

I swear, just how low IS your opinion of your Voloid?

And apparently, you're not even interested in trading that old bucket in for a newer model?

What can I say? That Black Knight and I have been through a lot together.

The Du Stallion II has seen better days, too...

What was that!?

Did you just throw shade at my beloved spaceship that's practically in factory new condition!?

BEEEP. That was. A memory bug. Don't worry about it.

Grrr, oh forget it! I'm just gonna help myself to ALL the sweets on the kotatsu then!

By all means. Go ahead, Robot, you can have some too.

As a Servantverse robot, you should at least be able to digest sweet beans.

...(Eyes welling up with tears) Aw, Ex, you're the bes(Cough, hack, cough)!

Thank you. Alter.

Hm? Sure, no problem.

Everyone else, please feel free to help yourselves to the sweets, too.

What would you like, Master? I also have some piping hot green tea.

You have excellent taste, Master. Chestnuts go great with all sorts of sweets.

This chestnut cake not only has delicious chestnut adzuki beans, its crisp, crunchy shell is a work of art on its own.

This chestnut jelly is really soft and scrumptious too!

...I see. I now understand everything. Today is a day for evaluating different kinds of sweets.

(Munch, munch) That's, um, probably not quite right. At least, I don't think it is.

...Oho... (Clatter)

W-wait! X Alter, please put away your twin blades!

I'm sure Senpai only meant he wanted to have one of every TYPE of sweet. Right, Senpai?

...Right?

Hmm... All right, I suppose that is acceptable.

And I do want you to have a firm grasp on the kinds of sweets I like.

... (Venting exhaust in lieu of sighing)

？！

So, um... Now that we've all had some lovely tea and a chance to relax, maybe we should get down to business...?

I agree. What is this all about?

This is the XXth Servantverse Servant Assem

You have already said as much. What I want to know is, who chose these members?

I can understand why my pilot candidate and Mash might be here...

...but why would you ask me to attend a "Servantverse Servant Assembly"?

As you all surely know, I am the proud steel guardian of Castle Csejte!

I want no part of any world as slapdash and ill-defined as this "Servantverse."

Huh?

You come from a world with a Japanese castle stacked on a pyramid stacked on a European castle. You have a giant steel demoness robot, Elisa Particles... How is that different than the Servantverse?

Blasphemy! Now be quiet and let me speak. Hmph...

I hope whoever invited me here didn't do so solely because I'm a robot...did they?

(Hack, cough, cough)

(There's no way I can say I just asked her to come so I'd have some extra camouflage for my cover story now!)

Uh, beep boop, of course not.

(Monotone) I invited you here as an...honorary Servantverse Servant.

Oh...

That's weird. I could have sworn you were a full-fledged member of the Servantverse, Mecha Eli-chan.

I remember the demoness of the demon castle played a huge part in the CEO of Amazones' autobiographical movie.

There was the scene where you went diving in the liquid hydrogen oceans on a gas giant planet... Your trip to the Bermuda Triangle...

Your trip to that neutron star with the ultramagnetic field that's impossible to escape... And then there was

What... What are you talking about? I've never done anything like that in all my operational history.

I was also told you're exceedingly knowledgeable when it comes to Western sweets.

You can fight, you can sing, you can bake... You're the perfect robot come to life.

They also said you make amazing Halloween-themed pies! I do know chestnuts and pumpkin are a sublime combination in sweets, so I can believe it.

I-it's really just a hobby. Anyway, I still don't fully understand, but, all right.

If this is basically just a tea party for proper ladies, then I have no objection.

(Besides, I've been invited to oil parties courtesy of Danzo, but I've never been to a tea party before.)

Very well. An opportunity like this doesn't come around every day.

As the guardian of Csejte with an understanding of Halloween, it's my duty to allow for elegant, stylish times like

Do you have any curry cake? Or maybe cutlet cake?

(Twitch)

...Anyway, this is essentially a meeting, yes? So what's our agenda for today's proceedings?

(Mecha Eli-chan's pretty much running the show now.)

Hmm. I don't have any of the junky cake X likes...

But since it's not every day that all of us Servantverse Servants are gathered together like this, we probably should do something special...

I know! We can have a one-on-one-on-one battle to see which of us is the strongest X of all!

You said it. That is hardly the sort of thing to suit a meeting.

(Nodding vigorously in assent)

I completely agree with my pilot candidate.

？！

Wouldn't it be much more productive to acquire verifiable intel on any possible Servantverse threats, so we can come up with appropriate means to counter them before they pose a threat?

Especially when it comes to Foreigner-class entities!

I concur! (Venting exhaust)

Um... I don't think that's a threat we need to be overly concerned with...

That aside, I'd love to learn more about the world all you Xs come from!

I think you two said you were roommates there, right, X and Alter?

That is right. It really takes me back.

Nobody asked you, you hunk of junk!

That said, it's true that we were forced to share a dorm room back at Cosmo-Chaldea High School.

Grrr, just thinking about it pisses me off all over again!

I didn't mind sharing a room in theory, but X was the worst possible roommate I could have imagined.

Now that I think about it...

...our teacher, Nameless Red, might have set that up to try and improve X's behavior, even just a little...

Trust me, it was no picnic for me either, sister!

We didn't just have to share our room. We were even forced to complete an assignment together...

？！

Yup. Killing villains, basically.

I'm sure it was supposed to be Nameless Red's mission, but he pawned it off on his students!

I think it was on Planet Totooine. That was a seriously brutal case...

This was back in the start of season one.

That's right.

This was when our ratings were in the gutter, when viewers thought we were just another weird series.

...Season? Ratings?

？！

Sure, no problem. So, Planet Totooine is...

Gaah! Ugh, blech! I'm gonna be washing sand out of everywhere for days!

How the hell does a planet RAIN sand!? Everywhere we go, it's just sand, sand, sand!

What's next? Maybe a sand squall followed by a sand rainbow!?

A sand rainbow. What a lovely concept. How very unrealistic, yet sublime.

But, unfortunately, this sandstorm is so cosmically big it's enveloping everything in Totooine's orbit.

Dammit... We don't have time for this. We need to hurry!

Getting Du Stallion II get shot down and having to make an emergency landing on this planet was not part of the plan.

I guess those reports that this area was getting unruly were true.

Maybe we just should've waited for Black Bucket to finish repairing the ship!?

First of all, he's not a black bucket. He's my Black Knight.

Second, we can't wait that long. Not with...my precious...

...sweet bean buns at stake!

I have to get to the Spacebucks that just opened on Totooine before they sell out of their special commemorative buns!

Huh? Commemorative buns? What about our mission to dispatch that villain?

The special Spacebucks version of Totooine's famous Zero Buns comes first.

What!? You never said anything about some stupid mission like that before!

...(Sigh) This explains why you were so excited about researching our destination...

If only you worked half as hard to preserve peace in the Servantverse as you did on acquiring sweets...

Huh!? Ex, get down!

Yikes.

Damn, I can't believe how accurate they are! Looks like we're up against more enemies than we thought!

That shadow over there... Is that a sand raider? One of Totooine's mythical desert people?

Now I see... So that's how it is.

These sand raider extremists are trying to stop Spacebucks' galactic expansion by any means necessary!

Seriously!? Oh, hell no! I am NOT getting killed over freaking coffee milk!!!

Good thing we can totally take these guys if we can just get in close! Let's get 'em, Ex!

Right. I won't let them stand in the way of peace...or of my sweet bean buns!

...

These two weren't part of the plan. Guess I've got no other choice...

We didn't learn this until much later...

...but the incident on Totooine was just the opening act of a huge conspiracy.

I still find it hard to believe that the legendary bounty hunter, Edgy Fett, was masterminding the whole thing...

Even in my wildest dreams, I never would've thought a guy that strong would be hiding out among the sand raiders...

So we ended up letting him get away, failing the assignment, and having to stay behind for special training, AGAIN!

The legendary bounty hunter...

Edgy Fett...

？！

That's right. They say he'll only work for enormous cash bounties, and that even the League of Villains fears him.

There are also rumors that say he's the Alter of a certain hero, and that Edgy Fett is just a codename.

It still burns me that we let him get away. If only Mr. Dual Pistols had been a Saber...

Anyway, our assignment might not have gone at all well...

...but the important thing is that I managed to get my hands on the sweet buns in the end.

I see... At first, I thought this Cosmo-Chaldea High School was a place for raising defenders of justice...

...but it's actually a charity designed to try and give completely hopeless Servants a chance to be useful somehow.

Nrghhh...

Y-yes, I might not have had top grades, but so what!

Their methods were never a good fit for my learning style anyway!

Especially when it came to those smug-ass teachers!

What a terrible tragedy for you.

So with your combined 2.0 GPA and your complete inability to work as a team, you were dispatched to different planets around the universe?

That's right! Stupid Principal Lionhead made us go just to piss us off!

？！

They were all very dangerous, but the one I'll never forget...

...is Planet Guntama... I could never forget it after what happened there.

Guntama? That name sounds familiar. Isn't that your home planet, X?

Hehehe. You got it, Mash!

That's right. I latched on to X to mooch off her when she went back there during spring break.

Not that I wanted to go back to my home planet or anything. Or for Ex to come with me in the first place.

I would've muuuch rather hung out at a different planet.

But Guntama was the only place we were allowed to go after all the detentions we'd incurred at school.

Can you believe that!? Just thinking about it still makes me sooo angry!

Ha ha ha ha. At least you still got to go on break.

I'd say that's better than nothing.

It's not funny!

Because of all that, I had to bring Ex along on a trip back home I never wanted to take to begin with.

Oogh... What is this strange sensation...?

Is this Planet Guntama undulating? Is it some kind of curse?

I can't even think straight with all this watery stuff running down my skin. I feel gross.

Pretty sure that's just sweat.

That's the thing about Guntama: it's goddamn hot here! We're talking Red Ring of Death hot!

The humidity in this season averages five thousand percent, and that's on a good day!

This is exactly why I didn't want to come home!

I don't think I'm going to make it, X. It was a good life...while it lasted...

Ex! Wake up! Argh, now I have even MORE crap to carry!

Why don't you just take off some clothes if you're that hot!?

It's not like swimsuit Servants ever go out of style, after all!

Not that you'd ever catch ME dead in a swimsuit, though! No way, no how!

All that aside...

Guntama was never the most happening place, but I don't remember there being absolutely no trace of civilization here...

Last I checked, it at least had a breezy summer resort area going for it...

What happened here while I was gone... Huh!?

Wake up already, Ex! We've got savages popping up every which way!

I'm never taking these off... I don't want to freeze to death...

Everything happened very quickly...

...but once we got the attackers to stop hunting our Spirit Origins, we somehow managed to reconcile with them.

The leopard-tiger-jaguar-panther lady would go on to become a surprisingly popular Servant later.

That was the midseason episode that was absurdly popular among children.

It led to all sorts of spin-off series that took place on the mysterious planet of Guntama.

Yup! I even became pretty popular myself... Hey! What's with all the spoilers!?

Oops.

Uh, no, it is nothing. I am just a devout fan. I cannot help but share my wealth of trivia.

Makes sense.

You must be a huge fan of X's then.

Is that why you dress kind of like her?

(...Ugh. I know she's just from season one, but I still can't believe how clueless she is about a fellow X...)

Uh, yes, I think that might be the case now. Beep boop.

I couldn't remember much about my past before I came to the academy.

It wasn't until I came to Guntama that I learned these glasses were the secret key to restoring my memories.

It also lead directly into "The Final Battle! Destroy the Bridge on Twin Planet Esaba"...

...the climactic episode of our first season.

...Huh? Esaba? Climactic episode?

(Esaba... I've never even heard of that planet before.)

Is this Esaba another world you and X infiltrated?

Do sweet beans go well with buns?

Right around the time that episode aired, X and I were known as agents capable of single-handedly destroying entire planets in the course of our missions.

So when the two of us worked together, we could limit the collateral damage to a single planet.

Oogh.

(Giggle) Do sweet beans go well with buns... I never would have thought to phrase a rhetorical question like that...

...Uh, a-ahem. In the future, try not to go around casually destroying planets.

Now, what happened next? I thought I heard you mention a final battle earlier?

Oh yes. It was a huge ordeal. That's why it wasn't just X and me there.

There were also other students from the academy, and even some teachers who were also active hero Servants.

By that point, it was no longer just a school assignment, but an important military operation.

Esaba...

For some reason, just hearing that name makes my chest go tight...

...

...? (What's going on?)

I have no record of any such episode... In fact, I do not even remember seeing it.

Oh? I guess even robots can overlook things then.

...Esaba is an artificial planet that is in reality two planets connected by an interstellar bridge.

It's home to an enormous factory that was targeted and occupied by the League of Villains.

The villains repurposed the factory's incredible technology to create a huge army of military robots.

While the individual units were no match for a Servant, the danger they posed came from their sheer, overwhelming numbers.

Our mission was to recover the manufacturing base in order to break the deadlock.

...

X? X? Are you alive? Can you hear me?

(Huff...huff...) This is nothing... It's just a flesh wound...

It'll take more than just a little battle to the death against the Savage Queen...

...and a brawl with the squid legions of Tentacle General Sanity Gilles to take me down...

Don't forget Herc The Superhuman's baryon ax that Nameless Red deflected, causing it to pierce straight through your side.

Oooh, right. Seriously, who IS that guy? Ow ow ow...

If not for my Saber Ninja Art where I make afterimages with Spirit Origins, this could've been real bad for me.

...You almost certainly would have died instantly. Because even for a Servant, those were severe wounds.

But at least your questionable Saber Ninja Arts came in handy for once.

Huh!? What do you mean, "questionable"!? ...Ow, ow...

Our comms are being jammed...

Deep in the heart of enemy territory as we are, I guess it's no surprise. Plus, we got separated from our team.

Your injuries are very serious too. We need to hurry and find you somewhere safe to recover.

There's no telling when more battle Voloids might show up.

What!? There's no way I'm taking a break in the middle of this final battGuh.

There, you see?

I'll stand watch and see if I can find anything useful. Black Knight, help me carry X somewhere safe.

Who else would I be talking to, Voloid K6-X4? Don't space out on me now.

？！

...There. We got past the enemy's automated defenses and made it inside their base.

Though I'm afraid X isn't going to have any opportunities to recover in here.

Huh? What is it, Black Knight? ...There's still a hostile here!?

...! Who are you?

Looks like your friend's out of commission. Good. That'll make this easier.

No way...! Edgy Fett...!!!

Whoa, easy there. I'm not about to waste any bullets in here.

Killing your friend while she's already got one foot in the grave won't earn me a single credit.

The League of Villains has much bigger fish to fry.

No, I'm more interested in you...Heroine X Alter.

X...Alter...!? What are you... S-stop that... Please, stop.

M-my name is...Ex... I don't...go by that... Ngh...

I see. Looks like the brainwashing's stronger than I thought.

But you still must have noticed how unstable you've been since you came to this planet.

That vision correction device you're wearing was made here on Esaba. I'm sure you've already figured that out.

But it was also illegally modified to maintain and reinforce your brainwashing.

Since you got here, an identical frequency emitted from the planet's automated factory has been canceling out their modifications.

Huh!? Reinforced brainwashing...? How do you know about this?

My last client told me to be careful around you.

That's right... I... I wandered around space...before I came to Cosmo-Chaldea High School... Ngh...

Black Knight...some of your memories have been encrypted, right?

Maybe my memories have something to do with... (Gasp...gasp...)

Ahh... I'm glad X isn't awake...to see me like this...

？！

I'm afraid I don't have time for idle chatter.

The League of Villains might have Lionhead's heroes in a tight spot right now...

...but it won't be long before the busybodies at the Galactic Police catch wind of this and stick their noses in.

Sooner or later, Esaba's going down. I was just planning my escape route when you showed up.

So, I've got a proposal for you.

Come with me, and I'll take you to see the League of Villains' higher-ups.

N-no...I won't! I'm a student at...Cosmo-Chaldea High School...!

...

(Ex's been acting weird ever since we landed on this planet. Going off on her own, being weirdly belligerent...)

(At first I thought she just got up on the wrong side of the bed. But this explains what's been happening with her...)

(...I don't get it one bit.)

？！

(Whoa there. Keep it cool, Black Bucket, or you're gonna set off my ninja arts.)

(I noticed someone was following us, so I was getting ready to fight back the moment they dropped their guard...)

(But now, I don't know what's going on.)

(I was all set to punch Chief Red's fast and furious looking relative here in the face if he laid a hand on Ex...)

(...but as much as it sucks, I'm gonna have to wait and see how this plays out, thanks to these injuries.)

...Suit yourself. I've done what I need to, so I'm getting out of here.

I just thought I might be able to cash in on a League of Villains reward. That's all.

...That's enough, bounty hunter. Please leave. Before X wakes up.

...Heh. Just don't go dying on me. Be a waste of a good bounty.

...Oh, I almost forgot.

Since I lost my shot at an easy payday, I guess I might as well drop a little tidbit here...

...I wouldn't count on a wound from a Savage Queen's heavy spear getting better anytime soon.

Not unless you've got a way of undoing an anti-healing curse.

What...? That can't be right!

This passage leads to the center of the factory. Maybe it'll have something that can help a Servant heal faster.

Assuming the defender Voloids don't get you first, of course.

...You're quite the busybody yourself, Edgy Fett.

(I'll say!)

That's it...!

I can use this device to heal X.

...Huh? No, wait. This is...

...

(What? What is it? Now I really wanna know!)

？！

Dammit. They did see us coming in...!

Who dares disturb my factory's harmony?

Damn, doesn't look like we'll be able to talk our way out of this one!

But that's fine with me! If they want to fight, I'll take them all on!

X...!

You don't have to do this. That guy is probably this factory planet's manager, and he's really strong.

Besides...I can't let your injuries get any worse.

Don't be ridiculous, Ex! That's all the more reason to fight back!

If I can beat this guy, I'll have academy credits for daaays! Then I'll be able to live it up and pig out every night until I graduate!

(Sigh)... I swear, you never change...

You might not have a lot going for you, X, but if nothing else, you don't want for bluster.

Now you're talking trash about me!?

I see. So you're planning to turn traitor! Well not on my watch, you aren't!

If you wish to plead for your lives, intruders, you may do so in the depths of hell!

We weren't talking to you! Just shut up and give us a moment!

You underestimate me at your own... Hm? Is that...?

Thank you, X.

You once shared a freshly baked red bean bun with me.

Now that I think of it, you've always been giving me things, and you never once asked for anything in return.

I've always wanted to pay you back somehow.

Huh? I forgot all about that, but...okay?

H-hey, why so close? This...uh...this isn't really the time to hug it out, I don't think...

Got you.

Black Knight, would you might dunking her, please?

？！

Huh? What're youOw! Hey, quit shoving me... Gaaah!

What's the big idea!? What's all this freezing cold slimy stuff!? Aah, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!!!

Ex, you traitor! You too, you overgrown bucket!

...

I can tell you're upset about this. I'm sorry, X.

I wish I'd found something that could have healed you, but I couldn't.

This is a flash-freezing device. It's called a Carbon Coffin.

Even if I don't make it, I'm sure someone from the school will find you, thaw you, and heal you.

Even if the whole planet blows up, you should still be fine...I think.

...Okay, Black Knight. Send me my battle suit.

？！

These undulations... I knew it! It's Alternium!

So you're the lost Dark R.O.U.N.D.S. successor.

I might be destined to join the League of Villains one day.

But that day...is not today.

...How dull. To think the Black Knight of the Round Table would be reduced to this.

Any pride you had in infiltrating the enemy side is gone. Now you are ruled entirely by fleeting emotion.

You are a traitor to our cause.

Not even the notorious League of Villains would take someone who threw everything into such disorder back.

You must be returned to them so that they can remind you of your place and put you back in it!

You can start by becoming one of the parts that makes up the mechanisms of my factory, like a drive shaft, or a heat source, or a distributor.

If you can't even do that...then die!

(Sniffle)... I see.

So the hero Servants were successful at bringing down Esaba and dealing a critical blow to the League of Villains.

There are few things worse than a factory that makes evil robots. You did the right thing. The heroic thing.

So Planet Esaba was destroyed in an explosion caused by the gravity fields colliding.

And X and Ex were saved by freezing themselves in a Carbon Coffin.

Phew... Talk about a close call!

Yes, it was. Oh, but we still wouldn't have made it back without Black Knight.

If it wasn't for his distress beacon, we would have been forever lost in the vacuum of space like so much debris.

I guess the reason I can't remember all that must be a side effect of the Coffin's freezing process...

Beep boop... (I'm pretty sure that's not how it works...)

？！

What is it, Senpai? Is there something strange about what she said?

Really? That must be a very odd sensation. Maybe it's a kind of déjà vu?

I, um, I guess it's just my Shielder Sense...?

？！

(Staaare)

？！

Are you sure everything is okay, Senpai?

Perhaps all this Servantverse information is memetically corrupting his mind...?

You were definitely nodding off a bit there, Master. Get it together, will you?

Yeah, for real, Mas I mean, yes, you must do better.

I knew there was something suspicious about her!

Heh heh. ...Shh. Let's just keep it our little secret.

This place won't hold much longer.

But the battle seems to be going well. I guess the principal's team must have handled it.

Huh? You found another Carbon Coffin? Great job, Black Knight.

Although... The thing is, that device needs a lot of careful adjustments.

There wasn't any time for this with X, but someone's usually supposed to stay behind and operate it from the outside.

If it's not handled properly, it can also lead to issues with memory retention....

Huh? You can handle those adjustments no problem? And you can even do it from inside the Coffin?

...Hmm, I see. That would be perfect.

...Yeah, you're right.

I'm sure we don't have much time left...

...but I hope fate allows me just a little more.

May the Alternium be with you...