Night Rounds! Miss Jaguarmura!

Here you go, Senpai, Ishtar. Emiya made some tea for us.

...(Sigh) What did I ever do to deserve being summoned to a place like this where I'm forever condemned to choke down cheap tea?

If you're going to complain, then don't drink it. I don't really have anything fit for a goddess.

Hmph. You there, gloomy Archer, you're not being respectful enough to a goddess like me.

My apologies. I am a mere peasant, after all. Shouldn't you, in your great benevolence, be more lenient to the likes of me?

Hmph. Is it just me, or am I getting condescended to?

Like a cold chill running down your spine, I creep in! Yahoo! Is everyone feline good!?

Young ones! Young'ins! Are you all enjoying the purrime of your youth!? Good, good. I won't stop you!

Yep...the only thing I can say is: (standing prim and tall) ...I wanna join!!!

Oh, that tea smeows really nice. I want some.

What about snacks? Like chocolate mouse...I mean, mousse?

...Jaguar Warrior...

That cat's as rowdy as always... Is it too late to abandon her in the middle of a field in Uruk, Fujimaru?

？！

...? Senpai. Emiya seems to be acting strange...

？！

...(Utter bafflement)

Mrrow!? That look on his face! Something he saw made him real sad! I'm pawsitive of it!

No, no. Nothing like that. Toothache. No reason to be concerned.

Now he's shaking his head all exasperated!

By the way, Fujimaru. What is this creature? I can't imagine a Heroic Spirit looking so absurd.

Hey, don't call me "absurd" or a "creature"! That hurts my felines! Fur your information, I am a Divine Spirit! I'm godly...a big shot!

(Dumbstruck)

Look at that shocked look! Big sister never raised you to become such a catty person!

Uh...well, I don't remember being raised by a weird cat-creature...

Please calm yourselves... I will go and make more tea, so please have a seat, Jaguar Warrior.

Oh, but not that. I forgot that I hate to drink hot things. Iced tea would be purrfection though.

Ugh... I'm not even part of this conversation and she's irritating me! Mash, I give you my permission to beat the crap out of that thing.

I-I will do no such thing! A-and, no, I will not replace sugar with salt, either!

Here you go, Jaguar Warrior. Iced tea.

Ah, thanks Mashy. (Glug, glug, glug...)

(Mashy...? That's new.)

A-anyway. Everyone's having tea, so please make yourself at home, too, Jaguar Warrior.

(Gulpgulpgulp) Phew! Thanks for the tea! It was good! I'll be taking my leave, meow!

...Huh?

...What?

Hmmm... (Looking around)

Well, maybe if I look harder, I think there's a couple more people with ties to me that I could find nearby and lug around...

...

(Oh my...what should I do?)

(I don't know why, but since I had time on my hands, I was thinking of asking that red archer to teach me how to cook Japanese food...)

(...But I have this strange feeling that I would get involved in something very...difficult if I go in that room right now.)

(It's just a hunch of mine. Yes, just a hunch.)

...

(Change of plans! Today, I'll go ask Boudica to teach me how to make Western home-cooked meals!)

...

(The Divine Spirit of the jaguar...simply chose THAT as a vessel on the basis that she's feral...)

(I don't know a thing.)

(She stares at me sometimes, but has she figured something out...? No, there's no way. It's probably just an instinctual thing.)

(It's just like how I feel something from that red Archer.)

(And if something sets off my instincts, it may be because there is some sort of connection between us...)

(But there's nothing I can do if I don't know...)

(But the one thing I can say for sure is that Chaldea's Summoning System is rubbish.)

(And it's not just because of her. After all, it summoned me as a Servant, too.)

...And if such a group started interacting without considering the consequences, it could lead to chaos.

(Sniff, sniff...) Huh. I caught a scent, but he's nowhere to be found.

I guess I have no choice. I guess I'm stuck with these two.

Oh. And obviously, I'll have Master and Mashy help me out, too.

No. I don't mind helping out, but I wonder what we are going to do...

？！

That's the spirit! Here's a Jaguar Stamp for you as a reward! Rumor has it that if you collect 'em all, something good will happen!

...Eh? Specifically what, you ask? Who knows! Hey, you over there! Don't say stuff like that! It's not shady!

There's a saying that opurrtunity comes to those who believe! Why? 'Cause unlike tigers, this jaguar is a Divine Spirit! Something grrreat would happen!

It's like...like...getting blessed with the power to never get pasta sauce splattered on your shirt...

Or like the power to get TWO sodas from a vending machine...whoa, that's incredible!

Anyway. Have no fear and follow meow! Let's go, go, go!

H-hey! Where are you taking us!?

(Sigh)... I can't say no now that I know Master is going.

At least tell us your plan.

Hm! Well, to give you the abridged version...

...we're gonna visit a place that is connected...I think...to all of us. The land of beginnings...

Fuyuki! And it's in a bind!

Hm. This is...

Huh. It's like a graveyard.

To bring a shining goddess of Venus to a gloomy place like this...you South American gods are barbaric.

This place is just the worst. If you really wanted a goddess, I wish you'd picked a different one.

But hey, it's really lively for such a gloomy place! Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize!

Yup! Definitely a ghost town! And look at all these things milling about...they're like squatters!

Yes, I've detected that, too! Da Vinci, what are these!?

Hmmm. I can't say we really expected this...

There's no Holy Grail here anymore, just like the other Singularities. The Incineration of Humanity is over...

The world should have righted itself, and the distortion disappeared...but in this case, the Holy Grail might still be affecting the area.

I'm not exactly sure how and what it's affecting, though.

This isn't something we can ignore, is it?

No. We have no idea what other issues might spring up if we leave it alone. First things first, you'll need to get rid of those malevolent spirits.

Something's causing this. You just have to find it and get rid of it.

？！

Please, Emiya, Ishtar!

What!? You want ME to work!? Can't you guys just handle it yourselves?

I'd love to do this without you, but it seems your opponent isn't going to just let you go.

The heart of the great jaguar, who loves justice and sacrifices, led me here! Fleeing from the enemy means death OR sacrifice!

Besides, I have this feeling that you two are under my guardianship, so you gotta do what this jaguar says!

Guardianship? Are you sure it's not more like a pet sort of thing?

Wait a minute, shouldn't it be the opposite?

We may both be Divided Spirits, but I am a genuine goddess. You're a nagual of Tezcatlipoca. There's no contest

Shut up! No backtalk! This teacher does not tolerate misbehavior from her students!

Teach...er!? What!?

Anyway, these things are buzzing around like gnats and it's pissing me off! I'm gonna swat them all!

Ah! No matter how much complaining she does, she's still going to help me! I KNEW I was adored!

(Oh crap. She's got the serious eyes!)

Maybe this way? Hmmm, yep, it's this way. C'mon guys! Let's explore!

This place...is in shambles. From what I can tell, it looks like it was a school.

Huh. A school.

...Does that mean something to you?

Nope. Nothing. Nothing at all. What about you?

Same here. I don't feel anything for this place.

...I see. By the way, I feel like you've been a lot less deferential to me since we got here.

It's better that way. After all, we're both Servants who got summoned by the same Master.

A Heroic Spirit who can't work with others because they're obsessed with their position in some hierarchy isn't worth the energy it took to summon them.

That...and I suppose I do feel a bit more at ease since we're in Japan. I'm more comfortable here than places like England or France.

Hmph. Aaand we're way out of my comfort zone here...

But I'M purrfectly fine! It's like this land is empawering me!

If I had a nickname here, it'd be the Jaguar of Fuyuki... Hm, that doesn't sound quite right.

Whatever! I don't care!

Now! Follow me! Follow the jaguar you've put all your trust in!

This feels SO right! Whoo!

Look like she knows where she's going, and she's taking the reins this time around. So, is your destination somewhere beyond the ruins of the school?

...

Let me answer your question with my own question...because that's the jaguar way. Do you all know what this jaguar hates?

Hey! That's no good! You need to show more interest in me! Specifically, you need to pet me more in My Room!

And so you know, the answer is: lions.

Gracias! It's like you can see right through me!

(Uh, I think she's mentioned it a few times herself...)

？！

Even though we're both part of the cat family, I feel like we don't mesh, soul-wise.

I've got this pawful feeling that if we sit at the same table, all my food would get eaten up!

...So what about it?

Hm. Keeping that fact in mind, we'll just come around the corner of this pile of debris and...

？！

I knew it was here. I'm getting pumped up! This jaguar's nose never lies!

Behold! The mortal enemy of the jaguar...my main competitor of the dinner table!

This response...it's a giant ghost!

That is DEFINITELY the cause of this CATastrophe! It's tall, it's behind the school ruins...it must be a social studies teacher! That's a jaguar hunch!

Yikes, you're starting out with a boss enemy!? Sometimes good instincts get you into trouble!

B-but...now that we've encountered it, we must do something about it!

(Sigh) Honestly, something about this Singularity just pisses me off...

And of all the things here, that one really just makes my skin crawl.

It's just a remnant, but it's tearing this city up with a vengeance. Just looking at it makes me sick.

Hm. I forgot that you're a goddess of love and battle. Are you saying that you would do a better job?

Might be a bit late to say, but I really wouldn't have thought fighting and love could coexist in one person. Your perspective must be...interesting.

What? You got a problem with that!? I'll blow you away in one shot!

Hold it right there, you two! Did you just say something naughty?

I won't allow illicit sexual relationships! Why? Because they makes me sad! But if you insist, you'll need to go through me first!

After all, you can't skip the somber, "They grow up so fast..."

I-I'm sorry, but please concentrate on the battle! Master's safety is our priority!

Obviously, I haven't furgotten my mission!

Let's do this, Emiyan and flashy-looking goddess! This will be our first collaborative work, and we're sure to emerge victorious!

Enemy responses are gone. Whew...

(...She was so loud and rowdy even during battle.)

Justice purrvails!

And peace has been restored to Fuyuki... The end.

Peace, you say? The city's still in ruins.

And there's not a single living soul around.

But still...we still protected it. We protected Fuyuki!

And isn't that something to be purroud of?

...

...

It may be broken now, but if it gets back going propurrly, that's a win for us, right?

You're right. There are still a lot of unanswered questions about what happened here...

...but I'm still convinced that there was meaning to this.

Yeah, good work, Fujimaru.

Well, we let a primal beast lead our expedition, but it seems all's well that ends well.

Now, time to head back home to finish our tea party! You'll need to purrpare tea and snacks!

(It appears...that she has forgotten the fact that she doesn't like hot drinks...)

Heh heh heh. Did you think my epic quest would end in Fuyuki!?

Fwahaha. It's fur from over!! So...here you go!

Now begins the super-secret post-interlude story!

？！

Okay, thanks for that lackluster response!

The city of night, steeped in desires...it's like a mini-map of someone's life with no possible escape!

And it was here that we received intel that there are children who wander around at night...

To pursue the truth, we head to the AmazonI mean, to the city at night.

Explain to me why I'm here again?

Well, because you're Unit 1.

Unit...1?

Oh, is Ishtar not coming with us this time?

Hm. Obviously I looked for her before we left, but no matter how much I sniffed around, I couldn't find her!

(Sigh) She bailed.

By the way, Jaguar Warrior, I'm slightly confused... What, exactly, is the point of this Rayshift?

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Right now, I'm NOT Jaguar Warrior!

...?

Like a sumo wrestler who hits hard and throws oneself at the kids...! ...Hey! Who's the rude dude calling me a sumo wrestler!? I'll have you know that I'm seen far and wide as a svelte lady!

Anyway...I'm the wonderful adult who looks out for children's futures by tackling their most difficult problems...literally!

Now, give me the reaction that says, "Wow, there's still hope for the world with adults like her in it! Now gimme an autograph!" That's the jaguar way! Meow!

Fou...

Hey, what kinda lifeless response is that!? C'mon, gimme some GUSTO!

Heh. Now look upon me with your most adoring gaze!

I should also mention that this is all unpaid volunteer work! That'd be craaazy.

And if word of this gets posted anonymously on bulletin boards or social meowdia, my popularity will skyrocket... So don't post it! Don't you dare!

？！

I'm as confused as ever as to what she's on about, but maybe she got a taste for battle after Fuyuki the other day...

By the by, your backstory is that you're the first delinquent I rehabilitated!

Formerly a playboy that bleaches his hair...but my toe bean stick of justice went WHAM! POWWIE! Reformed! I'm in your debt...! Something like that!

...

I don't know why...but I want to say...good work...

Okay! Time for today's patrol! And let's do it with some enthusiasm! ...Hm! I hear the scream of a delinquent who's lost his way! Let's go!

I found him!

That's...Cú Chulainn.

...Ah? Hey, it's you, Master.

What's going on? Why's everyone here? I was just taking a stroll.

Rrrgh! Dress code violation! Pierced ears are absolutely a violation of the school dress code!

That condescending attitude! Those shifty eyes...!

And the nail in the coffin: wearing a full-body leotard is definitely a sign of rebellion! He is pawsitively a shameless delinquent!

Ah...but I understand. It's not all your fault. The adults who never disciplined you are partly responsible fur your behavior. Oh, and Scáthach.

What you gotta do is body slam the kids! Or at least not teach them an instant death move that NEVER WORKS!

...Hey, Archer? What the actual hell is this nonsense?

If you figure out an answer to that, be sure and let me know.

Y-you've got to be kitten me! I'm the prim and propurr warrior of the jaguar!

Jaguar, huh? Well, I'm Cú Chulainn, the renowed hound of my lands!

Oh yeah, that too. That nickname of yours...it sounds like "the rabid dog of the west," and that can only mean one thing: DELINQUENT!

...What?

I have no idea what the hell's going on, but I'm assuming you're trying to pick a fight.

Jaguar Warrior... Um, I suggest that you try not to provoke him...

It's all right. They always act rebellious in the beginning.

BUT! Accepting these delinquents for who they are and not running away is the true way a jaguar shows her beautiful stripes!

In other words...the time for talk's over! Let's go, punk! Come at me!

I knew he was a purehearted young man deep down. It's the adults of this world who warped the boy! ANYWAY, this jaguar's purposeful night stalking continues!

Dammit...I knew I should've gone straight home. You guys are crazy to tag along with THAT thing.

Unlike you, I wasn't given the choice... "Reformed Delinquent Unit 2."

Now that I think about it, I don't know why Senpai is here either.

No. I probably shouldn't think too hard about this.

Mrrow! Now that I think about it too, nobody's wearing any badges or cuffs that indicate that they're part of Team Night Stalking Jaguar!

Like matching colored windbreaker jackets... Hm, what a grrreat idea.

When we get home, I'll go ask Da Vinci to make something like that.

Aw, darn. I'm just so busy, I am pretty sure I won't be able to squeeze it in. Mark me down for a no!

(If I did, I'm pretty sure everyone in Chaldea would end up in jaguar print windbreakers...yuck!)

Fou...

Hm...well, I guess it's enough that we're all working with a single purrpose. For now, let's go purrsue our final delinquent. Follow meow!

Did you just hear a dog barking?

...

Who're you lookin' at? I'll break your back

Ah! That's him!

Crap... Ya gotta be freakin' kiddin'!

In case I heard wrong the first time, ya gotta tell me again. This thing...what dog breed is it?

...Haha!

I see, I see... A GOLDEN retriever! What a totally golden chance meeting!

Good boy, good boy! Wanna Kintarou candy? No? Ya want meat? Yeah, I figured.

Is that...Sakata Kintoki...?

？！

Oh I forgot...one of his skills lets him communicate with animals. He's very friendly with them.

Huh? Oh, it's you, Boss. Whatcha doin' out here so late at night?

No mistaking it! Bleached blond hair! Sunglasses! Lotsa bling-bling! He's definitely a super-duper delinquent Heroic Spirit!

... (That thing's crazy.)

(I totally sense it without her sayin' a single word: this sister's a real big hog sorta beast!)

Please don't get the wrong idea. I believe she is just out rounding up all those breaking curfew.

What the hell? Don'tcha know that I'm a grown ass man? I'm no boy.

So it shouldn't matter where and when I hang out. I ain't botherin' no one.

Aw, dammit. That golden doggie got spooked by the pussy cat and ran away. I'll tell ya what, missy.

I suggest you get that dangerous aura of yours under control. Normal folks won't be able to handle even lookin' at ya.

If by not handle, you mean one look at her destroys any intent to reform they may have had, then you would be correct, Sakata.

Yep. Definitely.

Hey! Don't you two sink right back into your delinquent ways, dammit!

Look at how he's all dressed like a stereotypical delinquent... I can only imagine the kind of abuse he had to endure in the past!

What sort of dark past does he hide in his heart!? Find out...after this commercial break!

Okay, CUT!

What the heck? There's cameras rollin'? Seriously!? Where!?

There's no camera. Sheesh, figure that out yourself.

Hey, Archer. Don't you think this guy's a little too naïve?

He's naïve to a fault. I actually feel bad for bothering him.

And...I'm mortally afraid that his parent might put in an appearance...

Okay! Now let's go and color that blond hair of yours. Let's show a teaser shot of your black hair right before we break for commercial to hook the viewers.

HUH!? You sayin' you're gonna color my golden hair!?

...That ain't right. That's cruel, sister. You got no call buttin' in on a guy's way of life!

If you guys are serious, then I'm just gonna have to go all-out to defend my GOLDEN look!

Lookin' at you all in red, blue, and tiger print, I got no problem cuttin' loose since you clearly got no appreciation for gold!

My hair, my name, and even my axe are all golden! I'll give you a personal lesson on how awesome it is!

Oh crap! That young man is waving a weapon around and getting all violent!

But this jaguar isn't afraid of anything!

Because...even in times like this, as long I use my trump card, I can reform anyone!

That's right...as long as he's under my guidance (read: beaten down)...nothing can stop me!

Tsk...

Meowhaha. Give up and dye your hair black.

Senpai, Senpai...

This may have all happened in the heat of the moment...but don't you think Jaguar Warrior has gotten a bit out of hand here?

Hmmm...it may be best that you said something. The problem is WHAT to say...

M-mrow!? M-my hair is fine because I'm an adult!

Mrow!!! You've hit a nerve there!

？！

Ah. We've cornered her now, pointless as this whole game of cat and mouse has been, though...

Hey, looks like that guy's going for a counterattack.

Hey you, the cat who can't take a freakin' hint...I'm only sayin' this once, so listen up.

This golden hair of mine is...

My natural hair color!

WHAT!?

Really? Oh, then, that's fine.

？！

Fou!

...I get it. That cat's tactic is just to go all-out. The moment we break through, her defenses weaken. Well then, I'll take this opportunity myself...

I'll have you know that these earrings of mine are family heirlooms, passed down by my parents. So that's why I can't take them off.

Oh I see. Then that's purrfectly fine. You can keep them on.

Easy. Too easy.

(...I guess I have no choice. I feel bad, but this is the end for her.)

Uh, so, actually... My hair did this on its own. I don't bleach it at all.

Heh? Haha, there's no fooling me on that! That can't be true! There's no point messing with me!

How come I'm not getting a break!?

And so! Today's night rounds are over...but I'm obviously going out tomorrow night! Got that, Reformed Delinquent Boy, Unit 1!?

The journey of the young man who idolizes the jaguar on her nightly rounds! Until he can finally put his serial dating days behind him!

(Sigh) I guess I'm stuck with her a little longer.

Sorry, Master. She doesn't mean any harm. Probably.

She's trying to better the world in her own odd way. I'll take care of the rest.

You go back to Chaldea and rest up. Me? Just keeping a cup of tea ready for me will be enough.

And there goes Emiya... That is the posture of a sad, defeated man...

？！

You think so? If Senpai thinks so, maybe it's true...

Yeah. I agree with Fujimaru. He does seem like he is a little happy.

He's the sort of Heroic Spirit who's always taking care of everyone else, but it always seemed like he kept his distance from Jaguar Warrior before.

But it looks like he's given up and now he's tagging along with her. I'd say it all turned out okay.