Yet I Want to Remain a Flame

...

Always. Without fail.

The kind of love, the kind that makes me want to kill them... I don't want it anymore.

...Yes. That's right.

Ice. I am ice. I can be ice.

...I shall smother the flames... Do not burn...

I cannot allow myself to burn. If I do...

My flames will consume Master. That is the one thing I cannot allow myself to do.

Hm...?

What...?

No... Why... Don't do that... I... Don't rouse me...

I'm not supposed to burn like this...

...No.

...!

...I never expected to meet you again.

Then again, this may not count. This is not truly a place, nor any real time.

It's not a physical world at all, really.

It is a sea of the mind. Your dream. It is also the memory of a Servant with whom you've contracted.

Do I sound familiar?

...I knew it. So it's not obvious.

？！

Let's put introductions on hold. As it happens, I should not be standing between the two of you.

It seems that in my warping, I have synchronized with your dreams, your consciousness.

...This IS a dilemma...

This is actually a first for me. I'm not sure if it was kinship between you and me, or you and her...

If you don't remember then, so be it. I am but a simple knight who is destined to meet you one day.

That's all you need to know for now.

So you remembered. Amazing. I can't believe you can keep all that straight even trapped in a dream world.

But, yeah. Let's just not count this.

You, who is entrusted with tomorrow, who faces the world head-on... We shall meet again...someday.

？！

For the moment, we need to make a move. It seems she's in a very fragile mental state.

？！

Exactly.

A Servant with whom you've formed a contract. Namely

...No. Explanations have to wait. Action is what's needed here.

I've sensed something. Let's go.

It should be around here. From here, you might have better luck detecting her than me.

Trying to pick up anything. It can be her magical energy, or her presence, or simply a hunch. Just reach out your hand.

I cannot do it. The relationship I have with her is one purely of combat.

You...are the only one who can save her.

？！

...!

You never fail to impress! So she's under the snow. She must've been buried after collapsing. Let's dig her up!

...Lancer. Lancer, can you hear me?

Your Master is here. You're not the sort to sleep here forever.

Lancer. Brynhild.

...Yes...

？！

Master...

Yes. I am... I am fine...for now.

Ah, Master. Adorable, adorable boy. My contractor.

You always greet me. You always have a smile for me.

It brings me such happiness, such love...such pain... That's why I...

...Do you understand, Master?

I am constantly trying to kill you. I confuse you with Sigurd...always, all the time.

？！

...Yes.

I need to stop doing that. I do not want to confuse you two anymore. You are not my Sigurd.

You are a warrior of your own. You are a man who will save the world. The newest of the heroes.

That is why I decided to follow you, to obey you...

...The reason I allowed myself to be summoned... The reason I came to Chaldea, even broken as I am...

It...it was all to save you. Yet I...

...I cannot control my desire to kill you. I want to love you...to the moment of your death.

It is... I do not want to remain this way, trapped in this madness...

I...I was replaying my records...like I do every night.

The records of me as ice. The records of myself as a Valkyrie.

I awaken the frigid cold within me to keep the fires at bay. I...I use it to quench the flame.

By doing so, I can prevent myself from killing Master. Just barely.

？！

...I see.

For the man you loved, you put aside being a Valkyrie, and then when you lost him, you shut your heart away.

Existing as a Servant... It must be an excruciating contradiction for you.

So even without Mental Corruption, or a Madness Enhancement, a certain madness afflicts you.

...

And so, you're fighting against your own madness.

To hold it at bay, you've been making adjustments to your mental state on your own.

Whether that's due to the Valkyrie in you, or just because of who you are as a person... I cannot say.

What I can say is this: it must be an incredibly difficult, painful trial for you, Lancer.

...?

You... You're

No. It can't be. You are from a different world...

...Ah. But of course. We're inside my own records. It's perfectly possible for a shadow like you to be mixed in.

A kind man... Saber.

Yeah. I guess I am that sort of man now.

(So, she can stop herself from killing...)

(Could her Spirit Origin itself be broken?)

？！

...No.

If the problem had been resolved, you would already be returning to your own reality.

Which is to say, you'd wake from this dream.

But you're still caught in this record of hers. We're still in a snowy field.

So no. Not yet.

Yes. Saber is correct. I...

I had succeeded in cutting myself off as an emergency measure. And that is why I collapsed here.

？！

...

？！

...I cut myself off from the flame within me. From...myself.

Flame?

...

The being that smoldered within the depths of my heart, that bubbled up whenever I let myself go even the slightest bit.

Master. If I think of you as my Sigurd, I...

I go up in flames. I burn. So hot, so hot.

Hotter than the sword of Surtr... That is what I become... My love, my everything...

？！

But Master. That flame will kill you one day.

I cannot allow that. I... That's the one thing I do not want to... This is no good...

Lancer. Don't you understand?

Your Master is confident that you will not kill him. He even has the resolve to accept you, your madness notwithstanding.

What a great Master, don't you think?

...

...Yes. A wonderful Master.

Like everyone I've gotten close to, he has the heart of a hero.

Yeah.

Then it's settled. Let's go find this flame of yours!

？！

Welcome, my Sigurd.

Oh, how I have waited for this day. For my wish to become reality...

...Reality?

Hehe. Aha, ahahahahaha! What IS reality? This is merely a small segment of my own records.

And Mastermy Sigurdthis is your dream, too! But I don't mind! I don't care if it's a dream or not!

I know. I know! Even if it is just a dream, my lance still brings those I love the sweet release of death!

Even if it be a hero! Even if it be a great individual who could save the world! Even if it be HIM!

Nobody can escape from my love...

My love! Mine mine mine! Me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!

From ME!

None can escape my burning love!

Wherever you and I stand, it is always a place to love... A place to kill! Always!

...After all, I was the one who killed Sigurd.

？！

There's no talking to her. That woman is fire itself.

...I'm taking her back into myself. I should never have let her out.

Master. Would you please lend me your strength?

？！

Thank you. Now let's go get that flame of mine.

You are a great Master. I shall assist you with my blade as well.

Eh? Eh? Eh? What? Are you telling me you're not going to hand over my Sigurd?

No. You can't. Can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't can't CAN'T! Give my Sigurd back to me!

I'm the one who kills Sigurd!

That's what the Allfather decreed! It's what the legends have said for generations!

I... I still remember the day I did it, Sigurd.

Now! Let us go up in flames together! Let us become ash!

Ah...

Aaahhhhhh

...

The flame... I can tell it is coming back to me. Please stand back, Master.

It... It is possible...that I may end up attacking you...just like it said I would.

So please...stand back a bit.

？！

...

Seems like it's fine, Lancer. Your Master really is impressive.

Yes.

...Yeah.

Looks like I'm about to wake up. The dream will soon end, so you will wake up and return to reality too.

Although... I'm not sure how much of what happened here you will remember...

Lancer. Is there anything you want to say?

No, Saberkind shadow within my recordsI have nothing to say.

But my heartfelt wish remains the same.

Master. Fujimaru. The next time I see you in reality, I only hope...

...I hope to be free of the desire to love and kill you. To be free of the need to stab, to shred, to tear your life to pieces...to burn it to cinders.

That is my only wish.

Yes. Because I...