I Revel, Rave, and Raucously Rampage

...?

Who are you?

I don't know you. The way you're talking...I don't even recognize you.

Who...are you?

You look like the oni I know better than anyone, and you smirk the way she does, but you can't be her.

Answer me!

Who are you!?

...Hm?

Oh, there's a little oni here.

I didn't know such mountain creatures were still around today.

No, wait. You aren't truly an oni. You're only the shadow of one.

While I do find some things from this modern age interesting, I have no time to waste on empty shadows.

Begone.

...!

I knew I didn't know you! Don't you dare talk to me like that in her voice!

You're the one who'll begone! I'll tear you limb from limb myself!

I'm going to break off your horns, chop off your head, and feed your remains to the fishes in the ocea

I'm going to break off your horns, chop off your head, and throw your remains out into the freezing cold until they turn into an ice scul

Silence.

Silence, little oni.

You're bothering me.

...!

Wh-what...is this...!?

You... You're...

!

Stay back...

Stay back! Stay back, stay back, stay back! Don't come any closer!

Get away from me!

Good day, Lord Fujimaru. This is Murasaki Shikibu. My apologies for the intrusion.

I'm calling you on the Chaldea line because I'm afraid we have something of an emergency on our hands.

You see...

I've detected a powerful magical energy signal in the library.

It made its way from the reception desk straight to the stacks, and is currently near the bookshelves in the history section.

Yes, I'm afraid so.

I've detected a powerful magical energy signal.

It made its way from the reception desk straight to the stacks, and is currently near the bookshelves in the history section.

？！

Lady Shuten-Douji was already in the library at the time, along with Lady Ibaraki-Douji after the latter came in following her...

...so I made an announcement on the library's public-address system to warn them of the danger.

But they haven't responded, and they don't seem to be making their way back to the reception desk, either.

So, unfortunately...

That must mean something is wrong! I'm so sorry my library keeps making so much trouble!

？！

You're too kind, Master...

I overheard what is going on, Master.

Since Lady Mash is currently busy with her medical exams, allow me to protect you in her stead.

Rest assured, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.

？！

Understood!

Lord Fujimaru!

At the moment, the magical energy signal I told you about doesn't seem to have moved.

It's remaining in the stacks, and doesn't seem to be heading our way.

However...

I'm afraid things are still quite precarious.

How so?

It would be one thing if this powerful magical energy source were stable...

...but it has been rising and falling repeatedly, and in highly irregular intervals.

Suffice to say, this is very dangerous, and there's no telling what could ultimately happen if it's not contained.

Ideally, if things were to go south, they would remain confined to the library and its magecraft-expanded space...

But if this unstable source were to leave the library...

...it could end up impacting all of Chaldea's crucial operations!

I-if that happened, I... I...

Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh oh gosh oh gos

？！

A-all right.

Yes, Master!

？！

Please wait here while we get to the bottom of this mysterious signal, Lady Murasaki.

Come, Master, let us be on our way!

There, I can sense it.

Be careful, Master. We are not far from the powerful magical energy source now.

Master! Over there!

Something the size of a person just smashed into the floor! I-is that

？！

？！

Ngh... I can't believe she sent me flying with just a flick of her finger!

(Gasp of realization)

Y-you two!? Good timing! Or maybe I should say bad timing...

Look out! Here she comes!

？！

Fu. Fufu. Fu.

Shuten-Douji. Shuten-Douji.

Are you addressing me with that name?

I don't mind being addressed in such an unfamiliar way once or twice, but more than that...

...and it starts to get a bit tiresome.

Or is that your way of "messing with me," as I believe they say nowadays? Well, human? Oni?

Hmm. Now that I look closer...

Well, well. I never thought I would find a descendant of Saburou's here. How interesting.

!

This aura...

It belongs to Orochi, the very serpent that cursed my family's bloodline! Only it is far stronger than usual!

That would mean the figure standing before us is Shuten-Douji...but with the side that is the child of Ibuki more prominent!

Master! That may look like Shuten-Douji, but it is not the Shuten-Douji we know!

O-or rather, it is another side of herthe side that made her one of Japan's three most dangerous monsters!

The child of Ibu

Come to me, Orochi.

？！

Be careful, Master! If I am correct...

Then that serpent is one of the most powerful Phantasmals ever to live! It may even qualify as a Divine Beast!

Hah! The normal Shuten would never let something like that serve her!

I don't like it... I don't like it at all!

Help me out, Master! That isn't the real Shuten!

W-well, I mean...she may look just like Shuten, but somehow she's not herself!

I know! Shuten must have gotten drunk on some poor quality wine or something!

In which case, it's my duty as the leader of the Ooe oni to snap her out of it!

Right. I've made up my mind!

？！

Here they come!

Let's do this!

Ghh! She's so strong!

Her body is as unyielding as steel! And her talons rend everything they touch!

Is this her true oni strength? Or could it be

Fu. Fufu. Fu

... ...

...Please stand back, Master.

Whatever this creature assuming Shuten-Douji's appearance is, we have yet to see the true depths of its power.

Nonetheless, Master, I swear to you on my life that I will keep you safe no matter what!

Lady Douji, is it all right with you if we leave Master out of harm's way!?

H-huh?

Wh-what are you asking me for!? I don't need a human helping me anyway!

You have my thanks, Lady Douji.

Very well then, Master, I will take it from here.

In the meantime, I would ask that you assemble the strongest fighters currently at Chaldea's disposal...

...and bring them here to help us subdue this non-Shuten-Douji Shuten-Dou

？！

Hmm...

Hey! I never asked for your help!

Master...

？！

That's right, Boss.

Whether a companion of ours is tearin' it up for no apparent reason, or they're willin' to sacrifice themselves just to hold off a threat...

We ain't gonna leave any one of 'em behind!

I know you wouldn't have it any other way, Boss!

That's me!

Hell yeah! All together now! Goooldeeen!!!

？！

Anyway, we better hurry this up. Mash's been lookin' everywhere for you on account of the afternoon meeting.

So let's not keep her waitin' too long!

？！

Huh?

... ...

So, another little mortal has appeared.

While I do appreciate the breadth of knowledge this place contains, I can't say I care for all these little shadows flitting about.

I still have not seen more than the one naturally occurring being here.

Oh well. Since this library's walls are apparently twisted in on themselves...

Fufu. I see no reason to hold back any longer.

...Well, shit.

Master, I gotta say...this ain't lookin' good.

I never saw it back when I was alive, but I'm sure I've still seen this face of hers at least a few times before.

And if we're talkin' about what I've seen as a Heroic Spirit inscribed in humanity's history, then I've got a few faint memories of actually runnin' into this thing. Damn!

That's why I'm sure of it. Her name is...

Ibuki-Douji!

？！

...I knew it. I knew it!

Ibuki-Douji was the godthe Daimyojin that resided upon Mt. Ibuki. She is a Divided Spirit of the great Divine Spirit Yamata-no-Orochi, Japan's most dangerous dragon!

In other words, Ibuki-Douji is not a Heroic Spirit, but one of the Divine Spirit heads of a multiheaded god!

You got it, Chiyome! What we're up against here...

...is an honest-to-goodness gorgeous golden god!

Hmm...

So, you figured out my name.

To think there were one or two shadows who knew my true godly nature.

Fu. Fufu. Fu. How amusing.

How amusing indeed.

I admit, I was quite irritated after being stuffed into such a very tiny, limiting body. But now...

I see. I see.

So you have been carrying on up to this point without knowing what I truly am. Hmm.

You there.

？！

You hold a connection to this body, yes? One forged of magical energy, a sort of shared bond?

Fufu. Fu. Fufufufu. So this is what it feels like to hold a connection to a human child...

This is...pleasant. Most amusing.

...

...The hell?

I don't know if you've got good luck or bad, Master, but it looks like Ibuki-Douji's taken a real likin' to you.

Also, you there.

Y-yeah?

You are the Child of Sekiryu, the red dragon, are you not?

To think they would produce a child in the human world. How amusing...

I-it looks like she has taken a liking to you too, Lord Kintoki.

C-come on, that can't be right! It can't! ...Can it?

And you.

A-are you speaking to me?

You are a descendant of Saburou. Fufu.

Very well. I will allow it.

Indeed, it seems there are a number of beings here with some connection to me. How unexpected.

Now she's taken a liking to you, too!?

N-no fair! Why am I the only one she doesn't like!?

Why am I the only one getting left out...?

...I mean, never mind that! Who cares about that!? N-not me, I can tell you that!

The problem is, that thing isn't Shuten! And when it comes to Shuten, I accept no substitutes!

I only agreed to settle down in Chaldea because Shuten's here! That's it! No other reason!

？！

Yeah, Boss?

？！

Well, we've never really had her get quite this crazy, but still, pretty much how you'd expect.

When she gets like that, the only recourse...is this.

Lord Kintoki is holding his belt and flexing...

So I take it that means...

We need to transform?

No! I'm talkin' about sumo! Well, I guess it doesn't have to be that. A fistfight, wrestlin', anythin' will do.

The point is that we've gotta let her blow off some steam, or she'll end up blowin' up all of Chaldea!

I don't know if that makes her an ara-mitama or a nigi-mitama, but I do know that's the kind of god we're dealin' with.

So, what do you wanna do now, Master!?

？！

Aww yeah! Now we're talkin' golden!

Ya hear that, god of Ibuki!? Let's you and us have a sumo match! God vs. Heroic Spirit!

Sumo!? Are we truly going to settle this with sumo!? Sumo is meant to be entertainment for the gods, but how can you entertain a god if you challenge them directly?

...Fu. Fufu. Fu.

The target is...smiling? And it seems she has taken up a sumo stance herself!

Hmm... I'm not completely following along here...

...but we're settling this with sumo, yeah?

Okay, got it! Fine by me! I'm pretty good at sumo myself!

Heh heh heh heh. Shuten doesn't usually let herself get drunk off her wine...

...but when she does, she always wants to do sumo, and I've always beaten her!

I see. And how many times has that happened?

Heh. You need to ask? Once!

...If we really are going to settle this with sumo, let us not forget that Lord Kintoki of Mt. Ashigara could hold his own even against a bear!

？！

？！

Lightning charge!

Don't remember anyone callin' me that when I was alive, but as a Heroic Spirit, I'm definitely Kintarou of Mt. Ashigara!

So don't worry! When I did sumo as Kaidoumaru, I threw down bears and oni alike! And when it comes to contests of strength like sumo, I've never lost!

So with the legend of Kintarou or whatnot givin' me extra fuel for my fire...

I'll show you I can even throw down a holy mountain god!

Very well then. Come.

N-nrrrghhh! That does it! I need to get at least one good hit in for payback, or I'll never live it down!

I will be taking part in this contest as well.

I understand Lady Ibuki-Douji is not directly responsible for the curse that has plagued my clan's bloodline ever since my ancestor Kouga Saburou's time...

But this may be the closest I will ever come to telling Yamata-no-Orochi where he can shove that curse!

Good. Good.

Show me your true strength.

...Assuming you can survive long enough to do so.

...How do you like them apples!?

I didn't hold anythin' back! Not magical energy, not nothin'!

I used up every last Golden Spark in me till I had nothin' left! I used 'em with my whole body instead of just my axe this time...

... ...

......

.........

(Wh-what part of that was sumo?)

(It seemed to me there were just as many fists, blades, and Noble Phantasms as in a normal battle.)

(And yet, somehow this so-called Lady Ibuki-Douji does seem to be enjoying herself more now...)

(I only hope that it is enough to satisfy this god and have her relinquish her hold on Lady Shuten-Douji!)

(Still, if we are not so lucky, I must at least make sure that Master remains safe)

Fu...

Sh-Shuten...

... ...

Fu. Fu.

Fu, fu... Fufufufu...

Fufufufufufu... Ahahahahahaha!

Ahh, that was so much fun I just couldn't hold it in anymore! All that energy, poof! Gone in an instant, thanks to all of you!

Why, I can't even remember the last time I got so worked up! Fufufufufufu.

That aside...

...Hm?

I see we've got Ibaraki, Chiyome, the blonde muscleheaded brat, and Master, all in one place.

How did that happen? And why were we all slugging it out?

(Sniff...) (Sniff...)

Waaaaaah! Shuteeeeeen!

Shuten, Shuten, Shuten! It's you! It's really you!

?

Why Ibaraki, whatever's the matter? You're positively quivering. There, there. It's okay.

Th-thank goodness. She really is back to her old self.

Hell yeah we did, Boss!

I'll say. I cannot remember the last time I experienced such spine-tingling chills.

？！

Man, glad that's over with.

Hm? Fufu, what in the world is has gotten into all of you?

What a mess you all are, sobbing into your sleeves like that.

Why you...

...On second thought, I'm not gonna bother tellin' you off now! Too much of a hassle!

'Sides, we're all giga-golden tired out here!

Really?

You're saying I was laughing and behaving like a completely different per

Well, a completely different oni, anyway?

Hehe. You're just being silly now, Master.

That couldn't have happened, could it, brat?

...I wish that was true, but it ain't. That was Ibuki-Douji all right. No mistake.

Now you, too? Put that little brat brain of yours to use for once. It's not as if I grew extra heads, is it?

I wasn't talkin' 'bout Kuzuryu, the Nine-Headed Dragon. I was talkin' 'bout Ibuki.

...Hmm.

I know I never saw her back when I was alive. The only one I saw then was you.

But as a Heroic Spirit, I've got a few more memories that happen to include her. How 'bout you, Shuten?

I mean, after all, she's part of

Shut up, brat.

Even Chiyome said you got another side to you that's

I. Said. Shut. Up.

I know you heard me. Some things needn't be spoken of.

... ...

Ibuki-Douji...

Ibuki, Ibuki. Hmm, is that right...?

...This is really starting to piss me off. It was supposed to be my turn, dammit.

Hey, Master? Brat?

Yeah?

？！

If I ever start acting up like that again...

...it'll just be because I got drunk on some bad wine.

So if it happens, you go right ahead and chop my head off, 'kay?

I'm counting on you, you hear?

...Hmph. Well thanks for nothing.

？！

...That ain't funny.

That's fine. It wasn't supposed to be. Hohoho.

You know, the thing about me is...I love wine. I love getting drunk.

And if I can mix some bloodshed in with my wine, so much the better.

You want to cut off an arm? Great. A leg? I'm all for it.

I can even make do with my bones getting torn out, or crushed into tiny pieces.

But what I CAN'T stand...

...is losing what makes me...me.

Getting drunk, having fun... That's all for me and me alone. If I have to spend my life doing things I can't stand, I'd just as soon be dead.

So if I'm no longer me anymore, whether it's from drinking too much or just losing my mind...

Well, I'd much rather you chop off my head and put me out of my misery, you know?

... ...

So promise you'll do that for me, Master. I mean it.

？！

Hmm. Is that so?

Well, that's okay then.

？！

...You're a stubborn one, aren't you?

Oh well, I can live with that for now.

Anyway, thanks for snapping me out of it.

Don't worry, I'll give you a muuuch more personal thank you real, reeeal soon.

You'd better prepare yourself. It's going to be sooo much fun.

G-got it.

On second thought, no thanks! There's no golden way you're gonna thank us in a way we'd actually appreciate!

Fufufu. Figured that out, did you?

Why you...!

Fufufufu...

...Yes, that's right.

I found out what she was doing in the library at the time.

The security cameras Lady Da Vinci suggested I install proved to be tremendously useful.

Yes, that's right. They're a very convenient tool from modern civilization.

At any rate.

As for what she was doing, well...

She was reading a book.

"The Shuten-Douji Picture Scroll."

Actually, it was a book of annotations for the scroll, complete with large explanatory illustrations.

As I recall, it depicts Shuten-Douji's final moments in vivid color.

It's generally believed that Lady Minamoto-no-Raikou was the one who cut off Shuten-Douji's head, which the picture scroll confirms.

But based on what I know, the one who actually cut off her head was...

... ...

...I'm sorry, I shouldn't say any more. It wouldn't be my place.

All I can say is that Shuten-Douji lived her life solely for her own pleasures...

...right up until she died.

...I wonder what she thought upon seeing that scroll depicting the moment of her final demise.

Whatever it was, the shock was so great it made her forget who she is...

...and brought out an entirely different side of her...