Hikikomori Milky Way

Ah, there truly is something to be said for keeping one's head cool and one's feet warm. I can't remember the last time my quill flowed so freely!

Somebody grab me one of those tangerines over there!

... ...Oh, were you talking to me?

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize...

Here you go.

Thanks, Purple Shikibu!

(Gulp) Mmm, deelish! There's nothing better than tangerines. Fresh or frozen, they're always tasty. Talk about the fruit of the gods!

Oh, wait, I'm the god here, aren't I! Between the tangerines and the kotatsu, I thought I was turning Japanese! I really thought so!

Does Japan not have its own share of gods, Jaguar Warrior? Could you not be both a god and Japanese?

Hm? (Casual whistling)

Oh, never mind!

Yo, let me get in on this! Turns out it's still kinda early for surfing!

Not that the seasons ever change 'round here!

... ...

(Well, I guess I've met Murasaki Shikibu before, but that writerly aura is still a lot for me to take.)

Chotto a minute! Why are all you Servants hanging out in my room again!?

Where else're we s'posed to go? You've got the only kotatsu in Chaldea!

Honestly though, I have to wonder if leaving it out all year is really the best course of action, meow.

Then again, I guess I used to do the same thing. There's something to be said for leaving your kotatsu out even in the summer. Something dark, I mean.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was intruding...

Waaaaaah! How am I supposed to make any progress on my manuscript like this!?

Oh come now, I rather doubt you would have made any progress even in our absence.

Urk.

It's okay, Lady Osakabehime.

Senpai...?

If you just let your hair down and be yourself...

...your story will eventually take wing of its own accord...

That only works if you're a genius!

Waaaaaah! Help me, Ma-chaaaaaan!

Ugh.

I've lost count of how many times she's gone into hiding at the first sign of trouble. It's a terrible habit of hers, isn't it, Master?

Batty? Not home? That is simply not possible.

No, she's definitely in here somewhere. I'm sure of it.

？！

Come on, let's search the room for her. Huh? How do I know she isn't actually out?

Hehehe, oh Master.

You saw for yourself how eager Osakabehime was to use Musashi's absence as an excuse to shut herself in, right?

There's no way!

She would ever leave!

We have been friends for a long time, so I know her well enough to say that with one-hundred-percent certainty♡

Now come on, let's look for her. Baaatty! Where aaare yooou!

Come out now, while neither Master nor I is upseeet!

？！

Oh? Did you just hear something, Master?

Hmm. Now where could that voice have come from...

Under the kotatsu? ...Ah, yes, I see.

Go away!

So it did. Well done, Master♪

？！

Huh... It looks like this kotatsu is connected to an alternate dimension.

What do we do now, Master?

Understood. Okay, Master, here I go!

Yes, I'm sure Batty is waiting for us to retrieve her. All right then, let's go!

？！

？！

Master. Master! Please, get a hold of yourself!

Of all the places I thought the kotatsu could lead, Csejte Pyramid Himeji Castle was not one I even considered!

I've heard you go on about isekai before, Batty, but this is ridiculous!

Urushaddup! Just go away! I'm shutting myself in and working on my damn book!

Huh? That sounded like it came from...the castle keep?

This is MY kotatsu now! Nobody gets in or out unless I seiso!

You said that as if you're just calling dibs, but I'm honestly impressed you made this place its own separate world. You're more skilled than I thought, Batty.

Right?

I've gotten a lot more used to fighting as a Servant than you'd think!

Heh heh heh, and on that note...byeanara, Ma-chan and Kiyo-yo!

Oh my.

？！

I guess Batty must have complete control over that Csejte Pyramid Himeji Castle.

I'm not sure what we can do if she can send us back here with just a flick of her finger...

Bye now! I'll come back once I'm done with my final draft!

...I don't know about this, Master.

Batty is lying. I don't think she really means to come back at all...

No, that's not it. I think that SHE thinks she can't possibly come back.

Hmm, now what are we going to do. I do feel bad that her kotatsu kept getting taken over...

...but that doesn't mean she can just run away from her responsibilities as a Servant.

And I think Batty knows that better than anyone.

Which would mean her lie about coming back after finishing her final draft is actually...

Well, Master? What are you going to do?

？！

Kotatsu, kotatsu, I'm so into you, kotatsuuu♪

Don't come to get me, 'cause I don't wanna leeeave♪

Besides, who'd even want to go out when it's raining? Everyone knows rainy days are the perfect excuse to stay in.

...No, no. No, no, no.

So it shouldn't be a problem if I shut myself in for just a little bit now and then, right?

Huh? I... Wha...?

Gyaaaaaa!!!

Wh-wh-wh-what are you doing here again, Ma-chan!?

What do you think, Bats-for-Brains?

Where do YOU of all people get off insulting my intelligence, Kiyo-yo!?

What do you mean "of all people"? I'll have you know I could demonstrate my own intelligence in any number of ways.

...But that is not what is important right now.

I guess the fact that you'd casually consider shutting yourself in for fifty years just goes to show how ridiculous your innately inhuman sense of time is.

I, on the other hand, acquired my inhumanity later on, so my sense of time is so finely attuned I was able to match my breathing to Master's down to the second. I'm keeping count, so there's no mistake!

Hmm. I'll have to get to the bottom of what that long silence meant later.

(Sniff) You can be so cold sometimes, Master... But I won't let that bring me down!

？！

Hey! What do you think you're doing!?

That's just what we came here to ask.

As if turning your room into a separate world wasn't bad enough, now you want to shut yourself in it for fifty years!?

From one hime to another, I refuse to let you get away with this!

Nooo! I don't wanna! I'm too scaaared!

Forget it! If you think you can drag me out of here, go ahead and do your worst!

Ugh. I'm sorry you had to see my friend behave so disgracefully, Master...

Still, she was at least being truthful in what she said.

She truly is frightened, and does really want to shut herself away.

But she's also determined to put up a fight to make that happen now. She never had that kind of confidence before.

To put it simply, Master...

...she's just as proud to be your Servant as any of us.

Yes, that pride may have led her to be weirdly confident about all the wrong things, but that's just Batty for you.

All right, Master, let's make our way straight to the castle keep, shall we?

They must have taken a liking to this place.

But I'm afraid they'll just have to move to the Enma-tei, whether they like it or not.

Oh my! Talking about another woman when you're here with me!?

Well I never!

？！

At any rate, my nose is telling me we should keep heading up.

Unfortunately, there's a limit to what my Stalking Skill can track when I'm not using them on you...

But, hehehe, the good news is, I don't need them to know where she's hiding.

Agreed. Now come on, let's head straight up to the top of this castle.

So a world inside a world, like a set of Matryoshka dolls? That does sound like an interesting idea.

？！

Hehehe. All that aside, we haven't had many chances to be alone lately, Master.

We can't let this one go to waste! Now come on, let's take it niiice and slow.

Like, three steps forward, three steps back slow♡

？！

Chotto a minute! Are you just using me as an excuse to get your own fun in, Kiyo-yo!?

I sure am♪

Waaahhh! I thought we were besties! Have you no kokoro!?

Me? Heartless? How rude.

I'll have you know there is no Servant in this entire world whose heart burns hotter than mine.

Right, Master?

...Is something wrong, Master?

You looked as though you were dreaming even while you were walking.

Hmph. I can't believe you'd space out when you're here with me!

Well, this is BattyOsakabehime's domain. It's no surprise something like that could happen here.

It's nothing as strong as a Reality Marble, of course. It's just a big papier-mâché delusion stretched as far as it'll go.

I could burn it all now and this would be over in an instant, but Batty really would shut herself away if I did that.

So I'm afraid I'll need you to join me for at least a little while longer, Master.

？！

What is this writing?

Ah! That's my!

Oh.

？！

...No, everything's fine. Now that its magical energy is gone, it's just a plain old bit of text.

I'll just put it in this box over here and leave it by the wall.

Phew.

You owe me one, Batty.

...I'll do my best to make it up to you.

This hall is very long...but my Stalking Skill is never wrong.

And right now, it's telling me it won't be long until we see Batty in person.

Grr. So you finally made it, Kiyo-yo and Ma-chan...

But I'm daijo... I'm okay. You can leave now. I'm essentially just hiding out in my kotatsu, anyway.

You need to go outside sometimes, Batty.

No I don't. What's wrong with staying in?

You're only being halfway honest about this. You want to go out, but you also don't want to go out.

...It doesn't make any sense, does it?

I have been enjoying myself here, thanks to Ma-chan giving me the push I needed.

But...it's also so exhausting!

I understand. Okay then, let's fight it out.

... ...

...Uh, why?

Master wants to help you, and you want to turn him away.

We could talk it out for days and never get anywhere. Violence, on the other hand, is a much faster solution.

I think you might be spending too much time with Tomoe these days, Kiyo-yo! You're starting to sound just like her!

N-no! There's nothing I want to talk about!

N-no! Not a damn thing!

？！

Now that was just an outright lie.

You have something you want to talk about, and there's something you're hiding.

But you're too embarrassed to share.

Gnnnh...! You big baka lie detector!

Fine then! If that's how you want to play this, then kakatte come on!

If that's what I gotta do to maintain my hiko lifestyle for a while, I'll meet violence with violence!

Yeooowch! Hot, hot, hot!

Mmm, roast bat♪

I knew you were a dragon, but I didn't think you were a demon too!

Ugh, fine! You win! I give up!

Good. All right, Batty, tell us what's really going on.

... ...

Gnnn...

...(Sigh)

Here, Master, I'll give you two some space. That's two you owe me now, Batty.

I know, I know.

...I felt us syncing up earlier. You saw something, didn't you?

Then I shouldn't really need to say anything.

...That isn't who I always am.

I could never live with myself if it was.

？！

Basically, I guess...

I've been having a constant stream of visitors in my room lately.

They're loud, and annoying, and exasperating...but I don't have the guts to tell them to leave.

And even if I hole up on my own like this...

...it just doesn't feel like the amazing paradise it used to...

I can't make up my mind how I feel. I don't make any sense.

When I'm alone, I want company. When I have company, I want to be alone.

Pretty selfish of me, huh.

Yes! It is!

Well it is!

？！

...That said, this really isn't that big of a deal. Honestly.

I just need to try a little harder.

If I'm alone, I can just go hang out with someone. And if I'm with someone, I can just go be by myself.

The only problem is, I can't find the courage to do that. I mean, how could I?

The only one who inspires me to be brave like that is...well...

How can you be such a baka!? I'm talking about you, of course!

You're really just starting to wakarunderstand!?

？！

Between last winter and this spring the frequency of you visiting me considerably dropped!

This is a huge problem, Ma-chan! Now look me in the eyes and tell me the truth!

Did you stop visiting because my kotatsu is too hot? Have I been getting in your way somehow?

(Gyaaaaaah! What am I even saying!?)

(Yabe! I can barely believe what I'm saying, and I'm the one saying it!)

(Still, there is no arguing he hasn't been coming to my room lately!)

(Whatever he tells me, I have to be ready to handle it!)

(At least this isn't a normal Holy Grail War, so I shouldn't have to worry about getting fired!)

(Although, I guess he could force me to go into my spirit form... Iyaaaaa!)

？！

...Huh? What're you talking about?

... ...

？！

Sorry Ma-chan, but would you mind being shizuquiet for a bit!?

Rrgh, none of this is working! I can't seem to get my thoughts in order!

？！

Done! It's all done!

？！

Now to ride this high and get started on my next book!

？！

(Humming happily)

I... I... I...

I was so focused on my books that I didn't even realize how much of a jerk I was being! I'm so soooooorry!

？！

...Well? Is everything better now?

If by "better" you mean "deeply hazukashii at how badly I treated Master and my completely dumb misreading of the situation"...

...then yes, I guess you could say things are better now.

？！

Ugh. You really need to stop coddling your Servants so much, Master.

Still, it's obvious that you didn't do this out of malice, Batty.

So if Master is willing to forgive you, I'll at least hold off on calling in Musashi.

Okay, would you mind not just going from zero to nightmare scenario like it's no big deal!?

Whenever Musashi shows up, she's always smiles and positive energy, and she absolutely destroys my entire gloomy shtick!

But anyway...I'll go back now.

As long as you're with me, Ma-chan, I can deal with just about anything.

So, um...do you think you might be willing to come visit me again?

？！

All right, time to put up the "Do Not Disturb" sign and get to work on my

Gyaaaaaah! Did I just kick something soft!?

Zee zee zee... Zee zee zee...

Are you really asleep? 'Cause you're just saying the letters in "zzz" instead of actually snoring!