Human Observation

How are you, Master? It's good to see that you're not looking disgruntled today.

I am so disgusted with my super-boring life that my brain has turned to stone.

I feel like as if I've been transformed into a dumb monkey. I'm overwhelmingly lacking enrichment in my life.

Look. Don't you have anything to say as my Master?

？！

Huh? You don't know the taste of a completely-dried bread? Scandinavians start their breakfast

by forcefully washing down a piece of rock-like bread with a drink like lead-boiled water...

Well, that trivia aside, what I want to say, Fujimaru, is...

Give me something new to write about, or if you don't have anything, then give me some money. I'll have some fun at the bar to kill some time.

...Senpai, Mr. Andersen is sounding more arrogant and reprehensible than ever.

Did you do anything to get on his bad side?

？！

So you say you're not at fault. Of course. That's what I remember, too.

Mr. Andersen. We don't have any resources to waste here at Chaldea.

Please behave yourself, and work on a new book. Personally, I request a sequel of The Little Mermaid...

Tch. That story is so popular among women and kids.

I wrote that story to mock the idiots in this world, so I don't understand why it would be taken as a touching tale.

WhatM-Mister, what did you just say?

I said, that is one of the worst trash that I ever wrote, you fool!

Geez. I made the ending so obvious, but people kept calling it a tragedy or tragic love story.

Not only is she finally released from love at first sight, but she even gets a soul as a reward in the end!

Listen. The best part about love is when it's purely yours. That's my conclusion, at least.

You ask me to write a sequel, but why can't you understand it would only drive Little Mermaid to further despair?

Uh... What, you look like it's the end of the world. ...

I'm saying, don't ask me to write a sequel to a story that ended already. It's the reader's privilege to imagine what happens after the ending.

...

...Fine. If you don't have any money, some new inspiration will do.

Take me wherever you can, Fujimaru. France would be nice for now.

What are you doing, Mash? You're coming, too. We'll end up dying if it's just me and Fujimaru.

R-Right...

...Whew. Is this place alright with you, Mr. Andersen?

Yes. Anywhere is okay as long as I can stay away from my desk. Let's enjoy the city of France first...

Master, hostiles approaching! Looks like ghosts from the Hundred Years' War manifested using the Grail's power.

Hmm. Soldiers from the past are reappearing? Interesting, why don't you play with them, Fujimaru?

I'm against physical labor but I will bear with it to get something to write about. Make this battle a good one, yeah?

Not bad. I never thought of this. But perhaps it was too late.

Mr. Andersen?

Fujimaru, Mash. Let's move on to the next location.

You went on quite a rampage in Rome, correct? Then let's head to the Italian Peninsula, where my heart belongs!

？！

Skip the commentary, and you call yourself my editor? Let's go check the next observation object already!

Apparently, we've pushed his buttons as a writer. Let's just accept it and keep him company.

I found you! How do you do? Take that!

Ugh!

What's wrong with you people! Especially that kid there! His face has "bad guy" written all over it!

Wow, so aggressive! As expected of Roman Soldiers, their brains are always on vacation.

Mister, with all due respect. Anybody would get mad if a stranger suddenly threw a mud ball at their face.

What? All I did was add fuel to the fire! Fujimaru, make sure you keep them alive this time, too!

Well. Now that we've finally ventured out into the ocean.

Ohhhh, our prey is coming to us! Guys, this is a non-stop party!

Should we strip them? Or strangle them? Ridicule them? Whatever. Let's just kill them and let off some steam!

？！

Yes, this is what happens when Andersen fixes the coordinates right on a pirate ship!

Hahaha. Sorry, I underestimated the pirates' IQs. I had no idea how dumb they actually are.

They aren't worth observing. I'm going home. You guys go ahead and beat them up for me.

They may be a memory of the sea, but they're still humans. Beat them to a pulp, and make them regret their actions.

You don't have to tell us! We'll do that! And you should reflect on your deeds for once, too!

Gotcha. Oh, Mash, about the sequel to The Little Mermaid, can I base the Prince on those pirates?

Absolutely not!

Now I'm satisfied. Good work, Fujimaru. I had an experience like no other thanks to you.

...We're finally back. We had a rough time, huh, Master?

Aimlessly fighting through all those eras...

It was good combat experience for us, but why did you do it, Mr. Andersen?

To observe people, of course. The weapons people of those eras used, how they fought.

Even primitive combat reflects human thought. The differences of all those eras will make a great reference.

Observe people... Then, you must love mankind. Right, Mr. Andersen?

Huh? Don't be stupid! I've no interest in mankind. I just needed data.

Not only the soldiers, I learned something about you two as well. Maybe I will write it into a book someday.

...Being written about by one of the three greatest fairy tale authors, I'm embarrassed just saying it.

But I think it would be a great honor. Dr. Roman would get so jealous.

Huh...

Yeah, you're right. Count me out, too.

...You're a more thoughtful person than I imagined, Senpai...

？！

You two get along so well. You're so easygoing.

I made a contract with you as a Servant because I had no choice, but now I've changed my mind.

It's hard to find partners for this crazy fieldwork, you know.

I think I'll get a little more fired up from now on. A little. Very little. A tiny bit.

I'm glad I was able to help you write, Mr. Andersen.

...Don't you understand that's a separate matter? This is why I hate my readers...