The Flaming Luchadora and the Three Deathmatches

Excuse me, Senpai! I just heard a loud sound!

Buenos días, Mash! ¿Que pasó? You look so frightened, yes!

Um...nothing... I should actually be asking you that...

...Wait a minute! Senpai and Quetzalcoatl are entangled in a very questionable position!

Quetzalcoatl's legs are wrapped around Senpai's head... Wh-what is going on!?

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This is a lesson, yes!

This is called an Huracarrana! It is a move where a wrestler cradles the opponent's head with their thighs and flips around using their momentum...

The goal is to slam the opponent to the mat to get a fall. It's a very popular lucha libre move, yes!

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I see. I think I understand the situation now! But please stop, Quetzalcoatl!

Should you actually use that move on Senpai, he will be seeing stars for the rest of the day!

No problema! I've taught Fujimaru the basics of breaking a fall!

He is likely to bounce off the ring after hitting the mat, but it should be okay as long as he grabs the rope at the right moment!

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Yes, please stop, Quetzalcoatl! Senpai seems to be trying to talk!

...I didn't realize. Lo siento, Master...

When I heard that preparations for battle were complete, I thought that meant it was time for a match! Soy una mala diosa...

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Quetzalcoatl looks a bit down...

You just told her the simulator was ready, right, Senpai?

But didn't you have a match recently, Quetzalcoatl?

I thought you said seeing Medb's flying kicks made you want to face off with a striker...

She has some nice moves, but the moment it turns into close combat, is not so flashy, no...

It's basically judo. Once you get caught in a grapple, you can't get away...

...But she's not so strong, so I can just toss her around after I slip her hold without even trying...

And that's no fun...

I want an aerial throw that sends someone flying, yes! I want lucha that excites an audience! ¡Muy emocionante!

(Sigh)... I want to fight more! I want to use my wrestling moves on others, and to have them use wrestling moves on me, yes!

...I understand. But I'd rather you not crush Senpai's spine or ribs...

Of course not. I will handle Master as gently as an egg! I haven't hurt you yet, have I?

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Eh...? Did it hurt? Lo siento... Maybe I overdid it...yes...

Quetzalcoatl, I think you need to get a better feel for your own strength.

You are definitely more intellectual and dependable than the other goddess Servants...

But you also seem to be a lot more...human...

¡Ah, entendida!

Teehee, naughty Mash. You don't like that I'm taking up so much of Master's time!

Then let's practice lucha moves on Master together! ¡Será divertido!

I-I... That's not what I meant! But...let's stop doing wrestling moves on Senpai entirely...

But now that you mention it, I have an idea. Give me some time to prepare. Please stay there...

Actually, please keep your distance from Master! I've rung the bell! The match is over! Do you hear it!?

¡Que linda! She's in such a hurry for me! Mash is always so energetic!

I do not know what she is going to do, no, but I bet it is safe to say I should look forward to it, sí, Master?

Yes, yes! She puts so much effort into things she does for other people, rather than her own desires. That is the mark of a great person!

Sometimes it may be in vain, and it may even be a weakness occasionally, but that is exactly the sort of thing we have been hoping for all this time.

Th-that is a sudden change of subject! You're making big sister blush, yes!

I'm used to being called beautiful, but cute... Well, that tickles me a little!

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So, this is where Mash wanted us to go. Let's see what she has planned.

So my opponent has finally come. I'd say she's in the heavyweight class, perhaps?

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I asked for her help.

Since Quetzalcoatl is so frustrated, I arranged for her to fight three martial artists here.

It will be a mixed martial arts match, and while I couldn't prepare a proper ring...

...I'm sure these matches will satisfy her.

As presumptuous as it is, I, Mash Kyrielight, shall be the referee for the matches.

I see. So Señorita Martha is going to be my first opponent.

I can see that her Spirit Origin is sturdy like iron, yes! I won't need to hold back at all! And a saintly wrestler is such a great personaje!

I am honored to hear that you consider me a formidable opponent.

I may possess the great Jacob's fists, but there is definitely still room for me to grow.

I'd like to see how my fists match up against the great Mayan goddess in this match.

Oooh, she is up to the challenge, yes... Are you perhaps a ruda, Martha...?

Well, everything is fine as long as we have fun, yes? I am confident I can take a hit myself!

Please don't hold back, Martha. Let us both go all-out.

By the way, I will serve as commentator.

Whose moves will reign supreme...? Will it be fists or twists? These questions have always intrigued me, and have been my life's pursuit for so long now.

Oh, the professor who's been holed up in the warehouse, yes? A commentator! Mash thought of everything!

But I'm sorry...I've sealed away my llave moves. After all, jumping moves are what makes Lucha Libre so great.

...Are you saying you're not even going to use your signature move? You're not taking me very seriously, are you?

Fine. I won't hold back! I'll even use my Tarasque. And if I throw you out, I can use weapons, right?

I'm still quite new as far as learning all the other Servants' quirks, but is Miss Martha always like this?

For a Ruler, she doesn't seem to be all that concerned with the rules.

No, no, ringside battles are a highlight of lucha! I knew Martha was a ruda!

But don't you worry, Master.

I may not have a shell, but I have wings. No matter who my común is, I won't go down easy, no!

This has turned into quite the intense brawl. Miss Martha seems to have landed more punches.

And they are no mere jabs. Any ordinary Servant would have gone down in short order.

One might say that while she has a rather slender Spirit Origin, she hides the power of a freight train in those arms of hers.

And what stamina! Even the rhythm of her breathing sounds like the roaring of a dynamo!

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Right you are. Ah, take a look. Miss Martha is finally getting in position.

All that pounding and I still haven't been able to bring this to an end. Time to use my trump card!

That stance... She's readying the fist of justice, inverted thrust...Jacob's Perishing Fist.

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Quiet. The real battle starts now. It would be a shame to miss even a single second!

The Jacob's Limbs style is said to be able to defeat even an archangel. It's specialized for use against a target with Divinity...like Quetzalcoatl.

And behold that stance, Fujimaru. She's putting everything into that strike, and so leaving herself wide open!

Should it hit head-on, there will be consequences. For both parties, that is.

My stomach's going to be wide-open for you. In exchange

I'm going to shoot that jaw of yours all the way to Marseille!

¡Olé! I've been waiting for that one hit!

...What!? It's not...working!?

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It's an evasive maneuver. The instant that fist touches her face, she turns her head to avoid injury.

Of course, it's easier said than done, and it's not something just anyone can do. But, she's managed to pull of that miraculous feat!

I will not knee your stomach, no! Rather, I'm going to take this extended arm of yours, yes!

What a perfect armlock. That should determine our victor here!

Why...you... Let go...

Tres! Dos! Uno! Ding ding ding! And the winner is: Quetzalcoatl!

O Jacob, O Moses...I'm terribly sorry. I have suffered utter defeat...

Martha, you were a wonderful opponent. Especially that last puñetazo...I thought I was going to pass out.

I'm sure you wouldn't have stopped even if I kicked your stomach.

You forced me to use the llave that I had originally sealed off.

I never imagined you wouldn't try to evade my fist. I'm not making excuses for myself, but I flinched a little.

And that was the reason for your defeat! A luchadora does not even think of evading!

A lucha match is all about lifting the opponent up. That's why I took your hit. You just didn't know that.

If you had known, you would have continued into a clinch hold, yes?

Had that happened, I don't know how the match would have gone.

...I see. Way to go. You completely defeated me.

We may be from different worlds, but it's clear to me that you are a divine spirit of good. I've not a single ounce of resentment towards you.

Let's fight in a proper ring next time. I shall study up on lucha a bit more until then.

¡De nada! I shall look forward to that time, yes!

Miss Quetzalcoatl took the first round. But will she be able to pull it off with her next opponent?

It looks like it's my turn. Woo, woo!

Whoa, it's an all-black monster, yes! What happened? Did you stay out in the sun too long and get burnt?

Yeah, well, I've got my reasons. I'm really not supposed to reveal my True Name all willy-nilly.

Think of me as...uh, the man of two thousand faces or somethin'... How 'bout you just call me Dos Mil Máscaras?

Course I do. I'm that kinda guy. I've even lost count of how many faces I have.

Oh, I'm wearing a mask. You just can't see it because I'm silhouetted. You just don't get it, Master.

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I figured he would be able to hold his ground even against Quetzalcoatl's aerial killer move.

And if we are to follow the tradition of Lucha Libre, we definitely need a rudo.

I'd actually expected Jaguar to show up as our ruda...

But fine! Let's do this! That move you just showed, Señor Dos Mil Máscaras...

I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy a stimulating aerial battle against you!

Well, this is what I was hired to do, so I won't disappoint!

But are you really okay with this? Shouldn't I be the worst sort of opponent for you?

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Yes. But what about it?

Even if she's injured, a luchadora must project grace and power before her fans, yes!

I won't go down easy, no matter what class you are! I'll prove that right now!

And know that a luchadora is at her most terrifying on the brink of being knocked down!

Hah! Loving that confidence! Then I'll kick your ass, as requested!

Will you be able to keep up with my awesome moves?

Hm. This has turned into quite the aerial battle, but it appears Dos Mil Máscaras has the upper hand.

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Her moves are pretty flashy and nothing else. An expert martial artist like Dos Mil Máscaras can evade her easily.

On the other hand, he's definitely hurting Miss Quetzalcoatl with his moves.

Seems he has studied Baritsu. His moves are nimble, and he's definitely hitting the vital spots.

(Hey, hey, hey...I'm hitting all the right spots! So why isn't this lady going down!?)

(Actually, that last move definitely hit her! But she just gets back up. But what's more important...)

(That's insane! Totally insane! The way the air bounces back up is surreal! Is she the Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King or what!?)

(She's like a giant mountain! If that muscle monster gets her hands on me, she'll crush my very soul to pieces, to say nothing of my Spirit Origin!)

You're looking nervous, Máscara. I'll take this opportunity to answer your question.

Your attacks are effective, efficient, and very painful, yes! But the pain is still tolerable.

Why? Because...!

The limpio would never let the rudo's attacks defeat them, no! Instead, the more I get hit, the more fired up I get, yes!

So brace yourself, yes! I'm going to use my ultimate attack: my Xiuhcoatl Driver

Uh, I'd rather you not do that. I give up! I give up!

Does that mean you're throwing in the towel?

Yep. This is not worth getting turned into a greasy smear on the floor.

I kinda half-assed taking this job. If it was a life-and-death sort of fight, I'd have asked for a lot more money to do it.

So, you win, since you took everything I had without going down. You good with that, Miss Lucha?

If the opponent admits defeat, that's the end of the match. Isn't that the best bit of pro wrestling?

That is correct, yes! I feel like you and I will get along fine, yes!

...So I am a little disappointed. If we ever get to meet again, I'd like to see the face behind your mask!

Because if you stick to being shy, you might just lose your heart. ¿Entendido?

Ha. Thanks for that warning. I'd...uh...rather not ever meet you again...

But the world of lucha libre is pretty deep. Maybe it's time I took an interest in a different martial art...

Whew. Both rounds were fun, yes!

An orthodox fighter and a flying rudo. I very much enjoyed it. So who is my final opponent?

Sorry to make you wait. Your final opponent will be me, Mask de Baritsu.

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Ah, a masked wrestler is also one of the highlights of Lucha Libre! He will be quite a formidable end to this three-round match, yes!

My observations are complete. I can see that your body is positively riddled with wounds from the previous matches, and that you are running low on stamina.

While I am a gentleman who prefers to play fair, I am not always able to do so. I only engage in battle when I have a significant advantage over my opponent.

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Indeed. By the way, my Baritsu is a well-rounded mix of strikes, throws, and holds. It's the ultimate self-defense martial art.

You have no chance of winning. Would you like to withdraw?

Your concern is unnecessary, Baritsu Mask.

Fatigue and injury are everyday things for a luchadora! And actually, I'm in top condition right now, yes!

I was hoping for that response. Then let us begin our match, Miss Quetzalcoatl.

But...why are you and Master not calling me by my proper nom de guerre?

You're open, Baritsu!

Heh...do you really think so? (And why is she STILL not using my nom de guerre?)

Guh...

I have targeted your arm now. Time to surrender. I regret to inform you that victory is now quite beyond your reach as matters stand.

...Do you know why there are so many flashy moves in Lucha Libre?

No...I cannot say I have given it any thought. They are likely just inefficient skills meant for nothing so much as pure showmanship.

No! They are for the audience, and for your opponent, with whom you share a deep mutual trust!

If you are seeking efficiency in battle, then you should head to war!

A battle without cheers or lights...a battlefield that is utterly lonely!

Cheers? Do those really matter for battle?

Of course! That's why, Master, I ask you to cheer for me!

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Mucho mucho! That has given me the strength of a hundred luchadoras! Hiyaaah!

(She jumped straight up to break my joint lock... What incredible pain tolerance. Or rather, is this the vaunted endurance that every wrestler possesses?)

This is no time to admire her moves! Ugh, I can't keep my balance! Or my mask!

Sorry. Any máscara that falls off so easily is no match for me!

If you are a true wrestler, you need to be more fashion-conscious! And here we go...! La Mística!!!

(What is this move...!? What is going on!?)

(Spinning...am I spinning? Really? How are we spinning THIS much!?)

(After six full spins, the inner ear simply goes haywire, and it becomes impossible to take an attack. And yet...we're still spinning?)

(Are we in...space? I can see space...I don't recall...taking my medicines...this morning...)

(There's no need for careful examination to know what's happening here! I'm doomed!)

(Tap, tap)

Holmes has tapped out! Quetzalcoatl, please cancel your drop!

Quetzalcoatl is the winner!

Aw. Then there won't be a head-first drop, no...

...Whew. Cervical spine annihilation avoided.

Yes. You were spared because you tapped so early.

You should be grateful that I am so precise in executing my moves, yes. For any other wrestler, we were beyond the point of no return!

Probably. I'm surprised I lived. I'm actually more frightened that you have the muscles to stop that move than the muscles needed to do it in the first place.

Of course. I told you. Luchadoras perform their moves with utmost consideration for their partners!

Stopping a move midway through is just common courtesy. But I suspect you could have fought more!

I had every intention of doing so. The spirit is willing, but the body...not so much.

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The move was surreal. It was so intense, but at the same time, my heart was pounding with excitement.

Excited that the move was terrible...and intriguing at the same time. The moment I had that thought, my body tapped out quite of its own accord.

I have the confidence to meet any malevolent attack directly, but it appears my self-defense skills cannot handle moves made with kind intentions.

Heehee. You speak too highly of it. I just didn't have the strength to make it hurt.

I withdraw what I said about your moves being just for show. It reminds me of a Japanese sword form called kassatsuken, where one imbues their sword with life and death for their battle.

One permits their opponent to live, even after defeating them. I had always found this contradictory, but...I understand now.

Strength is not simply a matter of defeating your opponent.

Yes, your moves were also very strong, Baritsu Mask. But you seem to be very fragile. You need to eat better so your bones will be sturdy, yes!

I'll take your word for it.

...Your technique is a sort I would never employ, but I would still like to show my respect to you, who has so mastered lucha.

Adiós, Miss Quetzalcoatl. Should we have the opportunity, I would like to meet again.

But...why will no one properly use my nom de guerre?

Whew. So this is the end...

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Oh? Are you worried about me? No te preocupes. I'm feeling very good right now, yes.

I have that pleasant sort of fatigue you get after hard work! Also the satisfaction that I was able to express myself to and understand others through lucha!

And because I was able to experience that, I am here, smiling with you now.

I can do that not as the goddess of war who takes life, but as a goddess of wisdom and fertility who looks toward the future.

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...Teehee. Gracias, Master.

Ahhh! I don't have the strength to even get up, no! Master, please give me your hand!

Looks like Quetzalcoatl is satisfied. Now Senpai can train in peace this afterno

Oh! You shouldn't, Senpai...Quetzalcoatl is still...!

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Ah-ha! You fell for it! I am still bursting with energy, yes!

And llave moves are very profound! Please enjoy the move where, the more you squirm, the more tightly wound up you get♡

...If I had known how things would have turned out, I would have asked for five matches. Now I understand why the chains are necessary.

To restrain Quetzalcoatl, we really do need lots of chains...

Yes! That is nowhere near enough chains to restrain me!

Come on, Master. Flail, flail! Mucho, mucho!