Pretty Illusion

Sorry to bother you during your break. I'm looking for the Servant Consultation Room. Is this it?

Hm, just as I thought. But I'm begging you. It's urgent, you see.

Hah hah hah. You deny and say it isn't so, but your face tells me you've given up on refusing, Master!

You're probably fed up with indulging the selfishness of Servants day after day. I sympathize with you.

So now, I'd like you to just give up again. I've got an urgent problem.

Could you hear me out?

？！

Hah hah hah, don't be so shy!

War is important, but whispering words of love to a woman is equally important to me.

Of course, I'd never force myself on an unwilling woman. Understand that I just want to look at her and hit on her.

Senpai, Senpai! I found sweet rice cakes in the Doctor's room!

These are quite exceptional. Let's eat them before anyone finds out.

But of course, the main topic is investigating the Doctor.

We must solve the mystery of how the Doctor stockpiles sweets in this time of scarcity...

Oh? Is that you, Fergus?

Oh, hello Mash. Well, I want to ask you, too.

You see...

I understand the circumstances, but maybe that's not such a good idea.

I mean, we are fighting to prevent humanity's destruction...

If you carelessly start hitting on other Servants, it may end in a bloodbath...

Hmm, what a mess...

If at least I could tell which Servants are okay to hit on...

Heh, leave stuff like that to me. More like, why didn't you come see me about this?

Hey, those sweet rice cakes look pretty tasty. Let me try one, nom nom...

Oh, this is as tasty as the one from my own collection, or rather, it tastes exactly the same...

Senpai's sweet rice cake!

？！

You two get along so well. That aside, Fergus.

I installed several Servant profiles into the virtual training system.

They're a bit robotic, but they should at least respond to you.

So try this out first, and if it looks good, you can go hit on them for real. How does that sound?

It will be good for future reference. I'll use the results for personal reference.

Hmm... An interesting proposal. Let's give it a shot!

Senpai, Senpai. I'm not sure why, but I have a bad feeling about this.

Fou, foou...

Okay, transfer confirmed. Why don't you try sweet-talking the first one?

All right, bring it on! Now, what kind of perky lass will appear

...Uhh. What's a "perky lass," exactly, Senpai?

Maybe a beauty that makes his crotch perk up? Oh, here she comes!

Well, if it isn't Brynhild, the Valkyrie! ...Hey, wait, wait, wait!

Don't you already have a boyfriend? I'm not a fan of stealing another guy's woman...

Hmm. Well, I don't like it, but exceptions must be made for lust.

Brynhild. I want you. Why don't you spend the night with me?

(...A very straightforward and completely unambiguous approach...)

Oh...I don't know how to respond to such a frank confession of love

Hmmm.

I guess I'll just have to kill you...

Yup, I don't get why, but so be it! You're even more ferocious in love than the Celts!

I have no idea who you are, but thank you. Now let us fight to the death...

Fujimaru, Mash, my bad! I was so close, but I failed!

We can see that. Oh geez, Master, get ready for battle!

That was quite the ordeal...

Hah hah hah, if you get depressed by one or two failures, you're gonna have a tough life.

After all, everything, even life, is just a night's dream. You've got to live decisively.

How reliable... You are a teacher, no, I must say, a guru of smooth talkers...

All right, Guru Fergus! I will prepare the next Servant!

This time it'll be fine. Based on looks, I chose a charming, peaceful woman!

... ...

Senpai, Senpai, I think he will strike out.

I think so too, but I can't help it when met with such beauty! Hey there, foreign lady!

... ...

Ah, are you referring to me? I beg your pardon. Do you need something?

Yes. I liked you the moment I saw you. How about it? Spending the night with me.

... ...

Oh, my. What shall I do...

Wait, he actually has a chance?

Hahaha, no need to be shy.

I don't mean to brag, but I, Fergus, am an acknowledged authority on how to make women happy

What did you just say?

An acknowledged authority on making women happy? So, in other wordsyou mean "infidelity."

...Hmm. Hah hah hah! My bad! It seems I've stepped on a land mine, Master!

Guru Fergus!

As I expected! You keep stumbling at the first hurdle!

Destroy infidelity! Destroy womanizers!

Go repent in hell! Hi-yah!

Hmm, it's not going too well. I hope this time a compatible Servant will show up.

Senpai, we should make a bet.

？！

Yes, I think so as well.

Hah hah hah! Master, you're quite harsh. However, rest assured. This is a tent, thus, the wild.

Being here means it will most likely be a ferocious woman, a warrior!

I know well how to woo such a woman. Well now, Doctor!

An unshakable heart of steel... That is our hero Fergus!

Honestly, I'm starting to realize this is useless, so I want to go back to work... But I hope for the best this time!

The Servant up next isher!

...Huh?

Senpai, I think we should run.

？！

Oooh, is this not the nurse that took care of us in America?

I only have business for the wounded. Please leave.

Don't be so cold. Actually... I have a serious illness.

...Let's hear it. What is wrong?

Uh, it's like a gaping hole has opened in my chest...

Is it pneumothorax? Or perhaps heart failure?

Nothing like that, it's more of a mental problem. I've got an emptiness from the lonely nights spent alone.

...Meaning?

Yes, I refer to the disease of love... My heart is unspeakably cold and empty!

But, my beautiful lady with bosom so supple and buttocks so round!

I do think you are capable of filling the gap in this chest. If you would, please!

... ...

Nightingale, um, it's fine if you just flat out refuse him...

No. On the battlefield, it's just an unavoidable instinct for warriors to seek proof that they have lived.

Assaulting helpless nurses is one thing. But, if I am the one nominated, that's a different story.

Huh!? S-So, that means!

You're going to give him the okay!?

Yes. I will respectfully counter his attack.

After all, I am currently a nurse who possesses combat skills.

Oh, so that's what you meant!

Hah hah hah hah! In other words, you mean if I win the battle, I can have you!

Fine by me, I'll take you on! Master, this will be a decisive battle... Let's go!

Yes, victory is mine!

By the way my beautiful lady, is it my imagination, or were all your attacks concentrated solely on me?

No, you're not imagining things. ...Be that as it may, I will admit defeat.

Do as you wish, Fujimaru. My body is yours.

Don't you mean mine!?

?

The winner is not the Servant, but the Master who commanded them, is it not?

That logic is so sound I don't know what to say!

Y-Yes! It's not like Master fought with such an idea in mind!

...Isn't that right, Master? ISN'T. THAT. RIGHT?

Exactly! Senpai is on a mission to save the world.

Getting sidetracked is, well...all sorts of danger, I think!

？！

I can't believe this... You're the winner, yet you don't want your prize.

Well then, until next we meet. Goodbye, Fujimaru.

Whew... That was close.

Well, if you asked me what was so close, I wouldn't know the answer myself...

Hmm, so my last chance also ended in failure after all. I can't help but feel my self-confidence dwindling.

Ah, um... Er, well. Whatever the reason, I think your straightforward courtship is wonderful.

Please don't be discouraged, and keep trying.

... ...

Miss Mash. If you'd like, after this

Oh, that would be a no, thank you.

Rejected...

Guru Fergus...