Golden Anniversary!

Master! Master! Please hide me, Master!!

Waaah! Your rejection hurts my poor little heart! I beg of you, Master!!!

A murderer! I'm being chased by a bloodthirsty killer! It's a murderer in a red and green striped sweater and a hockey mask!

Just open up! We'll talk then!

...

Don't tell me you're not going to open up!? You devil! Oni! Artemis!!!

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Daaarling♪

Oh, Lady Artemis has made her appearance! Sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

I understand!

If this is about pretending to be Nursery Rhyme's partner to trick the female staff of Chaldea into fawning over me...

I regret my actions from the bottom of my heart!

...You were doing that?

Ah, so you didn't know...then forgegyaaah!!! Please! Please don't twist me like that! I don't bend that way!

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Yoo-hoo, Master! How are you?

Oh this? It used to be Orion. Now it's a rag.

You can use it to clean the floors!

Cut it out!

I thought I was going to die! Actually, I very nearly DID die!

Oh, you're fine. I held back.

Yep, yep. Being good is a wonderful thing☆

Does darling appreciate his health now, too?

Yes! Absolutely, yes! Especially with you! Hooray for health! Not hurting is wonderful!

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...What is it?

Oh, right! So I've been wanting to ask Master...

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Wedding...

Anniversary?

Foufoufoufoufou.

Yes, yes, Fou. Food time? Here you go.

Mash, that was a sad response. As a goddess, that absolutely infuriates me!!!

M-my apologies. I was just surprised that it was a golden anniversary...

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Yes, it is a celebration for a couple who's been married for fifty years.

The celebration is said to have started in the year 1860 in Germany, and the custom spread throughout Europe.

Oh, I see. It must have been a big deal if a couple was together for 50 years in the nineteenth century.

No wonder people want to celebrate.

Isn't it wonderful? I admire that kind of celebration...

The custom is to give gifts of gold, or anything made in pairs.

...So what's this golden thing have to do with anything?

Yes, um... Artemis, your marriage was quite recent...

I'M STILL SINGLE!

How cruel! But we did get married! Married! M-A-R-R-I-E-D!

We even went on a honeymoon, and you even gave me a ring!!!

She's having a tantrum...

But Artemis is correct. You gave her a ring, and you went on a honeymoon.

Heh. Miss Mash. You've forgotten one critical thing: I'm a nice guy who goes around freely like a wandering cloud in the sky.

From one journey to another, from port to port... I start from Greece and go all around the world.

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DAMN RIGHT!

(Gasp!) Oh crap! I didn't mean to say that out loud!

Teehee. Is that so, Orion? Then I shall tear this wandering cloud to shreds!

NOOOOOO!

I think this golden anniversary is a GREAT idea! Now that I think of it, we're Heroic Spirits...

...and Heroic Spirits essentially have no concept of time.

I feel like we've been together for fifty years already.

You're absolutely right, darling! For fifty years, our love as a married couple has grown stronger!

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What makes this sad is that...though it could be harmful, this shouldn't be much of a hindrance to us if we don't do anything...

Now come, let's do a golden anniversary! Um, what do we do on a golden anniversary?

Shall we gather a bunch of humans with the golden touch, like King Midas?

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Oh, you're right! A golden statue is nothing special these days! ...If that's the case, it has to be...

A Rayshift trip to travel around the world!

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(Yes, I have a very bad feeling about this. They are definitely going to get Senpai in all kinds of trouble...)

(Let's just slowly back out of the room so they don't notice.)

Fou!!!

!

!

Teehee, you're not getting away! Come, Master!

You're going to help make sure our golden anniversary goes beautifully!

Fou...

Fou?

Rayshift successful. We have safely arrived at the French seaside.

Good work, Master.

Fou!

Ahhh, what a wonderful breeze! The ocean is outside my jurisdiction but that just makes it all the more exciting.

We're in an era where I don't have to fight for territory. So let's have a nice, peaceful talk about our married life!

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...Darling!?

Hahahaha! Successfully escaped!

I mean, I know we'll eventually go back to Chaldea, so I am definitely going to get punished...

But to hell with that! My name's Orion, the famed hunter of love!!!

I'm a hero with a real lust for life, if you know what I'm saying! Because when I'm around, it's always bear season, eyy!

～♪

Whoa! I spy a real sweet hottie over there!

I only see the back of her head, but it's a black-haired beauty! Prim and proper! Looks like I hit the jackpot!

Woohoo! I'm gonna snuggle her by pretending to be a cute creature!

My body is a cute teddy bear! No one can resist a cute stuffed bear!

Hewwo, pwetty wady, I'm Owion!

...!

What the...!?

Ah!

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My goddess senses are tingling! I sense danger!

Darling... My darling's...skull...is getting caved in...

Right! Hold on, my darling! We're coming to rescue you!

And then afterwards, if you can explain to me IN DETAIL why you fled, that would be appreciated!

(Artemis may be worried about Orion, but she is still REALLY angry...)

He's not dead yet!!!

Let's go, Master! Let's go and save my darling!

There will be many mouths-to-mouths! Much smooching!

I hate to break this to you, but mouth-to-mouth won't be effective on a caved-in skull!

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Ummm, according to my goddess senses, he should be around here...

There!

Kyuuu...kyuu...kyu...

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Come to your senses, Darling! I shall immediately do mouth-to-mouth on you!

Hng!!! (Squeeze)

Gagck!? ...!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

S-S-S-S-S-S-Senpai! Orion's face is turning into something unbelievable! Even though he's only a bear! Even though he's only a plushie...!

Ahhh... Aaaaaagck!?

Kyaaah!? Master, touching someone else's wife is fiendish!!!

And doing so in front of Mash...!

No, it's fine! I know this is all a misunderstanding, so I'm not mad!

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I thought I was gonna die. Actually, I did die. TWICE! Once from my caved-in skull, and again from getting suffocated!

I'm glad you

Master. Have you ever wondered why you're alive?

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We both...have it tough...

My apologies... Something like a tiny wild animal jumped on me, so I punched it to smithereens without thinking...

Martha...

Yes, I know! I know what you are thinking! But I hope you understand my predicament as well!

As you know, in this getup, I become more aggressive than usual.

So...I couldn't help it... I'm sorry! I regret my actions! So much so, I will double my praying time!

This woman's amazing. That was the first time I ever felt my insides leaking out.

His first time... How dare she be my darling's first!!

This is unforgivable! You're supposed to be a saint... Have you no shame!?

The only person who can hurt my darling is me!

Oh boy. Aren't you just full of cheerful bloodlust.

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What. A. Let. Down.

Uh, um... I'm not sure if I can say this, given that I was the one who directly inflicted this holy punishment...

Actually, I am not foolish enough to get involved in lovers' quarrels or domestic disputes...

I'm not like that, but...Artemis! Your love is a bit too aggressive!

First of all, love should be tender, even when you're hurting your beloved.

No matter how fiendish, devilish, demonic, or even...um, ursine your partner is

I can say with certainty that unrequited love is no good!

It's not unrequited! We are very much in love!

I'm actually a little hurt to be called fiendish, devilish, and demonic.

No. If it truly was a mutual love, no married man would so casually hit on another woman.

Even if Orion is guilty, I can see that Artemis also has need for improvement and reform.

I do not intend to criticize the ways of the Greeks, but I am called the patron saint of wives!

Artemis and Orion! I shall correct your twisted, unrequited love with my holy fists!

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Well, yes, I'm afraid that's the plan! Don't worry. I will make sure not to hurt you much, Fujimaru!

Ungh... She's tough! Darling, were you holding back!?

'Course not! I always take battle seriously!

Mnnngh...as obsessive and unhealthy as it is, love is still love...I suppose.

And based on Orion's behavior, it doesn't seem like it is completely unrequited love...

That's right! Our love is mutual... It is!

Mutual love... To think of others, and love others.

It doesn't appear that way... No, but maybe...those two seem to have some bizarre sort of love of their own...

...Even if they do not follow the same path, or if it's unrequited, as long as they respect one another, that may be fine...

...Well, there are indeed very dangerous unrequited affections in this world...

And yet... I suppose...

...Either way, I seem to have jumped to conclusions. One cannot say that just understanding each other can be called love.

I'm sorry, Artemis. And Bearion.

No matter what form it takes, love is unchanging, and it is one of the primal emotions. One should love greatly, and so find great happiness.

Our beliefs may differ, but love is the same all around! Orion, let's love each other to the fullest!

...Oh?

Huh? I thought my head felt light. Darling's gone.

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...

Daaarrrliiing!!!

Fwahahahahaha!

I don't know how or where I escaped to, but looks like I ended up in a different world!

What should I do? It'll be scary if I get found now. Maybe I should hide out here for a couple of days until things cool down.

Oh? Oh my, oh my. A guest. It's a guest! And it's a bear!

Oh, sir! Are you the one she's been waiting for?

Not sure what you're talking about, but sure!

I see. Then we need to have a wedding!

Uh, actually, wrong person! I mean, wrong bear!

It's a wedding! The entire country is going to party! The princess will surely be pleased!

Her prince has come back!

Time to be a sneaky bear...

No! You can't run away! (Grab)

Gyaaah! Let go! You got the wrong bear!

Nothing good can come of me posing as a prince in a fairytale place like this!

Don't be so naughty!

A bad prince like you...needs to turn into a ■■■!

This curse won't break until the princess kisses you!

...What the heck!?

Here! I've got darling's scent!

You really are getting dragged around the world.

Where could Orion have fled to so quickly?

Master's burn doesn't have the usual sting... Maybe because jet lag has him worn out?

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What a cute town...

After our golden anniversary celebration, I would love to live in a home like this!

Master, since you saved the world, I want you to find a nice property for me!

And I want you to live nearby, so we can be neighbors!

You know, it's important to have good neighbors!

Good neighbors...

Now all I need is my darling...

Oh? Oh my, oh my. There are so many visitors today!

I'm so happy. Adults and children both are welcome in the Land of Sweets!

Why? Because I can just turn the adults into children, and then it's fine!

Nursery Rhyme...!

Oh my, you are a cutie. But... I'm sorry, my heart belongs only to my darling!

But that strange fate of yours, make sure you treasure it, okay?

Anyway, have you seen my darling?

Darling...?

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Oh no... You can't! That prince bear is the princess's!

...What did you just say?

The prince has finally come home to his sweet princess!

And we're going to hold a grand wedding party to celebrate! You can't steal someone's true love in a fairytale!

...Oh? Uh-huuuh...

Hey Master. Sounds like my darling is at the princess's place.

How strange. If he's not here, where could he be?

M-Master...this is bad! This is very bad!

I'm afraid the Land of Sweets is going to be set on fire, melting the chocolates and candies... Even the cakes will get charred!

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It's fine. I am calm. But I will never forgive Orion.

A grand party with a princess... This isn't an affair... This is the real deal!

This was supposed to be a happy golden anniversary celebration...but to learn that he's in another serious relationship...! Orion, you dummy!

Protect the Land of Sweets, everyone!

I'm not sure if they're enemies...but let's ready for battle, Master!

Kyuuu. I'm dizzy...

Poor Nursery Rhyme is down!

I will not allow my darling to get married! I'll capture that bear and take him to file divorce papers right away!

Oh, and Master, use your authority to annul the marriage! That way, he won't be a divorcé!

Darling, where are you!?

Um... Excuse me... Are you perhaps looking for a bear?

Brynhild!?

Are you the homewrecker!?

Please, no... It is not what you think...

...I wanted to return him to you.

...Come again?

Darling! No... Look at you...!

(I thought I saw a similar-looking chocolate during last year's Valentine's Day...)

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Um... I was searching for Sigurd...

Nursery brought this bear thinking he was Sigurd...

Even when I said he wasn't, she wouldn't listen. She said, "He may be a chocolate bear right now, but he'll turn into Sigurd when the curse is lifted."

And so I was a little flustered.

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Yes... According to Nursery...

You KISS him!!!

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What!?

Kiss!?

Yes, that's right. Kissing him will lift the chocolate curse!

His bear curse may also get lifted, but I'm not sure, since that's not my specialty!

I see...

So that's why Brynhild was flustered... She was afraid that whoever could lift the curse wouldn't show up if she left.

Yes, I was at a loss.

This bear is not Sigurd, but there is no doubt he is a hero.

No matter what form he'd taken, as a former Valkyrie, I didn't feel right abandoning him...

...

Hey Master, why do you think darling tries to escape?

Weddings, golden anniversary celebrations... They don't really matter to me... Well, I might not go that far.

But as long as my darling just stays with me... As long as he and I can live together forever, for eternity...

That's all I really need.

Scared...that he'll hate me?

...That may be correct.

No matter how intimate a man and woman might be, if they are together for long enough, they may end up killing each other.

That is not because of pure hatred, but hatred that stems from love.

The more one loves, the stronger their wish not to detest or be detested becomes.

Human emotion is not something that is constant... But it shines all the brighter for it.

I know! I know!

The prince falls for Cinderella when she flees!

That bear flees from you because he wants you to always feel excited!

Because eternity is too boring!

When you're super bored, you might start hating the person you're with!

That's why you flee! The chase keeps you interested in the other person!

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...I see. So that's how human emotions work.

As a Divine Spirit, that kind of thinking is incomprehensible to me. I can't imagine eternity being...uncertain...

...True, it may not be something you can comprehend. I really only understand it in theory.

Eternity is boring... So you say.

Aw, my darling is impossible! He wants me to keep loving him by making me so anxious!

Fine. If that's what he wants, I'll chase after him for eternity!

As long as my heart swells from the occasional, whimsical kindness from him, I will go absolutely crazy for my darling!

Yes, yes, my Maiden Circuits are in overdrive! Now, my darling! I shall lift your dreadful chocolate curse!

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Good morning, my darling!

Eh? Huh? I thought I was chocolate...

Ack! Artemis!? I-I'm sorry I ran away! It was just a spur of the moment thing! I swear!

...Yep! It's fine, my darling. I forgive you!

Eh, seriously!?

Normally this kind of offense would result in you reducing me to my constituent atoms!

Wait, did I end up in a parallel world? Is this for real? Oh, no, I'm in a world that's gonna get pruned, aren't I!?

Oh, but if it's a parallel world...

Come, my darling. Let's continue our golden anniversary celebration!

Where shall we go next? It is a golden anniversary, so maybe the Temple of the Golden Pavilion in Japan?

Or perhaps the Golden Gate Bridge?

Anywhere is fine. As long as I'm with my darling, it will be wonderful!

Why hello there, delicate-looking girl. I don't see much of your type in Greece.

How would you like to escape into a love adventure, hmm?

Um... I can't... My lance will become lighter and lighter...

It could even float up and away like a balloon...

Whawhoa!?

Okay, my darling.

Let's go get you set on fire at the Temple of the Golden Pavilion. It's fine, you'll burn well!

Or the Golden Gate Bridge is fine too. You can bungee jump without a rope!

Well, I guess that's one way to go...

...What the heck am I making clever commentary for!? Aaand Artemis is just her usual self!

HEEELLLP MEEE!!!

...Master, do you have any closing remarks?

That wasn't...much of a closing remark...

That's my line.

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