The Evil Dragon's Stress Relief

Hmm. Was it this way...?

Oh, hello, Vritra.

Ah, the dancer woman.

Keeheehee, you always wear such frilly outfits. You remind me of the "gifts" Indra used to send me!

Hmm. I'm not really sure how to take that...

Anyway, this is great timing. Are you free right now?

...No, I'm not. I have some very important business to attend to.

I see. That's too bad. In that case, why don't you just drop in for a quick look?

Hm? A look at what?

Well, you see, we've reserved the entire cafeteria...

...for a dance party!

Teehee, so all I have to do is dance, right? Ahh, John the Baptist! John the Baptist!

Aha☆ I haven't danced like this in ages! This is so much fun! Don't you think so, Sister Nite-Brite!?

Hmph. No. I'm not having fun.

I'm just here because it's a good opportunity to show off how advanced Chinese imperial court culture truly is.

Olé! I haven't been to a samba carnival in forever, no! Doesn't it feel like your body's moving on its own?

Yes, it does. You need a strong sense of rhythm to float like a butterfly. I'll have to keep sparring!

...Heh. I cannot remember the last time I let myself go on the Noh stage. Forgive me if I'm a little rusty.

All right! Now that you've finished warming up the crowd, Munerin, I'm gonna really fire them up with the main event: my Atsumori!

You should probably avoid anything fire-related, Nobbu. You don't want a repeat of Honnoji on your hands.

Besides, I think my Jet Sword Dance deserves the spotlight, anyway! It's so much cooler and flashier than anything else!

Granted, I only just came up with it, so I'll be improvising, but I'm not about to let that stop me!

It must be fate that we ran into each other here, Grand Duchess. May I have this dance?

Oh my, hehe. I do like to dance...

But this dance floor isn't the place for ballroom etiquette, or social customs, or picking up girls.

It's just a place for anyone to dance on their own however they like.

More concisely: the exit is that way.

(Sad face)

Oho... Ohoho!

Everyone here seems to be enjoying themselves immensely...

You said you love dancing and music and such, right?

So I thought this would be right up your alley. You don't even have to dance yourself. It's fun just to watch.

Oh, but if you're busy with something, I suppose I shouldn't try to keep you.

Nnn... Nnn...

Yes, that's right. There's something very important I need to take care of right now.

No matter how delightful this party may be, I absolutely will not fall prey to its charms! Least of all today!

Wow! That's so cute. And THAT was so cool.

Um, Vritra? Didn't you say you had something important to attend to?

(Gasp of realization)

Wh-what am I doing?

I only meant to watch for a minute or so and then leave...

...but the next thing I knew, I was sitting in the front row with a drink in my hand... Is this another of Indra's plots!?

(I guess she doesn't remember ordering that drink herself. And with a big smile, no less...)

I really don't have time for this right now! I'm trying to find Master!

Oh, is that all? Why didn't you lead with that?

He was the first one I invited to the party.

Master! Could you come here, please?

？！

O-oh, you were here all along. You should've said something!

...Well, no matter. Come with me, Master. I want to go somewhere quieter, where we can talk in peace.

？！

Hmm. How can I put this...? Simply put, I'm in the same boat as you.

？！

Remember what that dancer woman said? You were just doing it yourself at that party.

I think these days they call it...stress relief? Anyway, that is what I wish to do.

Don't look at me like that. Simply going back to that party would not be enough.

Oh, don't get me wrong. It was fun. But that's not the desire I want to sate just now.

You wouldn't tell someone who is utterly exhausted to just stay up a little longer and have a nice meal instead, would you?

？！

Keeheehee. Do you really need to ask? I'm sure you know what I desire most by now.

Or did you forget just what sort of demon I am?

Very well then, I will be direct.

I desire to see someone suffering.

？！

What do you expect? Being summoned as a Servant hasn't changed my nature.

...Hm? Well, having said that, it's not that I ONLY wish to see someone suffer.

You could say that I wish to see someone desperately struggle to overcome a challenge, if you prefer.

So, will you help me relieve my stress? You are my Master now, are you not?

I'm sure you can help me with something so small, can't you?

Besides, if you don't, I may just end up giving all of Chaldea a veeery difficult challenge on my own.

One so arduous you won't even have a chance to THINK about your primary mission.

？！

Well, that makes it simple! Help me with my stress relief.

...Oh? You will? You could have just said so earlier.

Oh, don't worry, I already have some ideas of how to go about it. All you have to do is trust me.

Keeheehee. I can't wait!

？！

？！

(Looking around excitedly) Oho, so this is the famous Camelot.

Hmm. You seem a little confused.

Oh, don't worry. This is all happening in your head.

You know how, sometimes, strong internal bonds are forged between Servants and Masters thanks to their connection?

I took advantage of that to recreate certain of your memories.

And of course, the kinds of memories I wanted to see...

...were the most difficult trials and tribulations you managed to overcome on your journey thus far.

Surely you haven't forgotten such formative events, right?

I am Gawain, Knight of the Round Table. As one entrusted with the responsibility of delivering Holy Punishment, I shall judge you.

？！

I've only heard about this incident.

You're the one who remembered it as one of the greatest hurdles you once had to overcome.

"When the foreign star shines, the bond of the white wall crumbles, the king's power wanes, and the divine tower falls."

...How unfortunate. If our meeting was of a different nature, we may have found a path of coexistence.

Keeheehee.

If you don't want me to prepare obstacles for the future, then what choice do I have but to revisit obstacles from the past?

For the king, one mistake is one too many. ...Thus, you must prepare yourselves.

I have to say though, the more I look at him, the stronger he seems.

He even has the protection of the sun, despite not being descended from Surya's bloodline.

Mmmm...

It's so goood!

Ahh, I can't wait to see how you struggled against him.

How did you hold on to hope through this? How did you succeed even when the odds were stacked against you?

Now I'll get to see for myself, and from the very best seat in the house! No, the ONLY seat in the house, since it's a private show!

Okay! Time to relieve some stress!

？！

Of course not. How am I going to enjoy this if you lose?

Now go on. Do your best to overcome that wall before you. If you did it before, you can do it again.

...Eh? He's a bad match for you? So what?

Well, I suppose this will make for an even more dramatic battle then. I'm sure you'll enjoy that too, especially since this is your second time fighting it.

Uh-oh, here he comes! Go on, Master!

I have no intention of causing you suffering. Accept your fate, and let this end quickly.

？！

Oho, oho. It wasn't easy, but you really hung in there!

You weren't stingy with your resources, either. I especially liked how you threw yourself into the challenge, consequences be damned.

？！

So that's how you managed to overcome this trial all that time ago.

Mmm, that was delicious.

？！

Keeheehee. No, I'm not.

I need more to satiate my demonic appetites.

Oh, but don't worry. I won't make you relive any more memories for now.

There is no shortage of other Servants in Chaldea to sample, after all.

Yes, now that I've seen a human struggle... I think I'll move on to a god.

What on earth? How can there possibly be so many enemies?

Hey, that's just the kind of stage this is.

Ooh, ooh! It looks like you're about to die!

Not yet, I'm not. I'm gonna wait until the last second...then hit 'em with all my skills and items at once!

Phew! THIS is why you wait until the last second to use your buffs and heals.

Otherwise, you're just stuck in cooldown hell as all your items run out.

Ahh, you overcame it. I wonder when the next challenge will be.

？！

Now and then. She never plays, though. She just likes to watch.

It's not bad for motivation, though. She always seems genuinely pleased when I beat a really tough boss or segment of a game.

Although sometimes, when I come back after a snack run...

I'll find that she upped the difficulty on me from Very Hard to Nightmare. Stuff like that. Not such a fan of that part.

Unpausing my game only to almost lose all my equipment is the kind of thing that gives me literal nightmares!

？！

The higher the hurdle, the better. At least if I'm the one watching.

Is it time?

Hm? Oh, you mean the hardest part of the game?

Yeah, this next mission's the toughest by far.

Once you start it, you can't save or even pause, and hesitating for even a second can ruin it all.

But the rewards are so good that I just NEED to clear it...

So for this stage in particular, I have to ask that you not interfere! I mean it!

Of course I won't. Not ME, for sure.

？！

Okay...let's do this!

Hi, Ganesha. I'm here. Shall we get going?

Crap! Maman!? I mean, Mother!? Why're youHuh? Go? Go where!?

Oh for...

Don't you remember? You're the one who sent me that message.

You assured me that you were going to focus on your divine duties today, and asked me to supervise to make sure you didn't slack off.

Huh? I didn't send any message like that. Also, um, I'm sorry, but I really can't talk right now!

Please, just wait until I'm done with this mission! That's all I ask!

Hmph. You always make that exact excuse.

Wait, I just remembered. You also sent a postscript that said, "If I start to fall back into my usual lazy habits, drag me away by force."

You made me so proud, seeing you so self-aware about the areas where you need to improve.

I definitely didn't write that! But please, seriously, can't this wait until later!?

Also, this timing is super sus! And I think I know who's responsible forHuh? Where'd she go!?

All right, let's get going! It's time for you to take your first steps towards being a proper god.

Why don't we start by switching off that game machine?

Nooo! Stooop!

Aaaaaah! I can't believe I have to guard the power button AND kill all the in-game enemies at the same time!

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in real life OR a game!

？！

Oh? Well if you insist, Master, I'm happy to wait. What's this about?

(No time to explain. I need something obvious to point to before I completely run out of steam!)

Th-there you are!

Oh? I know I cobbled it together rather hastily, but I still can't believe you destroyed the domain I created to keep me out of sight...

Ah, I see. Your divine domain is removing obstacles, isn't it? No wonder you had so little trouble disrupting my power.

Vritra!? What's going on here?

？！

Keeheehee. Yes, of course I wrote that message and sent it to you.

(Sigh...) Now that I think about it...

I should have known Ganesha would never be so enthusiastic about such things.

Part of me knew something was off.

I suppose I chose to ignore it because I was just so happy to think my child was growing up.

Now do you get it!? Okay, last one! Hraaah!

Phew! I did it... That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life...

Well done! There's nothing quite as delightful as the sight of a god overcoming an unprecedented challenge!

"Delightful" sure isn't the word I'D use!

But, hmm... Maybe it's 'cause I was being pushed to my limits, but I pulled off some moves I wouldn't normally have even thought of...

I even beat my high score by a fair margin, which is almost miraculous.

Whoa. Does this mean I've awakened my full potential!? I had no idea I still had so much power just waiting to be tapped...

Personally, I wish you'd awaken your power as a god rather than a gamer.

But that aside: Ganesha, Vritra, I want to talk to both of you.

Uh-oh. Am I in for another lecture...?

Setting that message aside, the fact remains that you got so caught up in games that you neglected your divine duties yet again.

So we need to talk about that, don't we?

As for you, Vritra, you shouldn't have faked that message, as I'm sure you know.

Deceiving people is wrong, be they god or human. No two ways about it.

(Muttering) You should've told Indra that before he tricked me all those times...

Yeah, uh, that sounds great, Maman, but I don't suppose we could do it some other time? I'm kind of tired, so...

...All right. I'm a little tired too. Plus, I also worked up a good sweat.

Say, I know. Why don't we talk about this in the bath?

(She won't be able to run away from me there.)

Huh? No way.

Bath... Lookout... Flying heads... Oogh, my head (very literally speaking)...

I promise, you're not going to be lookout this time! We'll be taking a bath together!

I don't mind taking baths, but you plan to get me all sudsy, right? You shouldn't do things you know other people (read: snakes) don't like.

So on that note: come, Master, let's get out of here!

Ah! Get back here!

？！

All right, all right, I get it. No more deception from now on.

Instead...just a little playacting.

Now then, let's go to that simulator thingy next, shall we?

Hmm. I don't think this is the training program I selected in the simulator...

I'm pretty sure I did everything correctly...

Maybe it's a bug?

...No, it's not that.

Something's not right. I recognize this place.

...This is the island of demons I visited back when I was alive. The rakshasa king's land...

This is the island of Lanka!

Huh!?

That demonic energy is incredibly dense. Is that...!?

She's mine... Your precious love is mine...

You will never get her back. You will never see her again.

Rama, king of Kosala. The princess you seek...

...will never be yours again!

Haha, hahahahahaha!

...Ravana.

No matter the time... No matter the place...

If Ravana the rakshasa king should return, I shall rise up to defeat him! Prepare to die, Ravana!

Phew.

Now then... What's the meaning of this, Master?

？！

Oh, it's all right. I knew right away you were here.

Everything about this scene, from its oppressive atmosphere to its demonic stench may have been intense...

...but I sensed no malice, so I assumed it was just a special kind of training battle.

Besides, the opponent I defeated was nothing like the real Ravana.

Though I could tell they were doing their best to act the part.

Maybe it's similar to sensing the difference between rakshasas and Asuras? I'm not sure.

What I do know, though, is that there's simply no way you could have done this yourself, Master.

On which note: Why not step out and show yourself?

Ahh, that's the stuff! I knew you would have what I was looking for!

Even with an unprecedented hurdle in front of you...

...you give everything you have to overcome it, despite being reduced to a Servant.

You never stop struggling to break the curse you face.

Mmm! That was perfect!

What do they call this feeling nowadays...? Ah yes, that's right. I think I stan you!

U-uh, thanks? As rude as it is to smack my shoulder like that, I still don't sense any malice from you. So you're Chaldea's resident evil dragon...

？！

...Hmm.

？！

Oh, it was no trouble. Surprising, yes. Trouble, no.

My whole purpose for using the simulator was to train against a strong opponent.

And the stronger that opponent, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

Even if she was simply playing around, Vritra here is still the king of the Asuras, and perhaps Indra's greatest enemy. I could ask for no more from a sparring partner.

And besides...

(Yes. Even if she was simply playing around...)

(My victory over Ravana came in one of the most important battles I've ever fought, and is an indelible part of who I am.)

(Getting to face him again now in a form as formidable as the real Ravana helps me remember the vow I made to her.)

(I could never forget that vow, my passion for her, her kind face...but even so, it's good to have a reminder.)

Hehe.

Hm? What's so funny?

Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about how I might actually have to thank you.

Don't bother. To my knowledge, I haven't done anything worth thanking me for.

No matter what you may have seen, or what you may have remembered, I was not responsible for it.

Whatever you saw when you overcame this trial was all on you.

Even if it seemed wonderful, what I said is no less true.

You've only remembered something that's already within you better than you usually could.

...I see. Then I suppose I just have to renew my vow then.

From this point forward, no matter what trials may lie ahead of me, I will do whatever I must to see my beloved wife, Sita, again.

Oho. Yes, you do that.

I look forward to seeing you slurping down muddy water, crawling on all fours across the ground, enduring pain and humiliation that makes death seem sweet by comparison...

...only to ultimately, and by the skin of your teeth, overcome challenges which seem all but impossible.

I only hope I get to see that myself.

Heh.

If you really do happen to be there when I finally take Sita's hand in mine again...

...wouldn't you simply step in to block my way as the final obstacle yourself, evil dragon?

Keeheehee! Oooh, you're a clever one! True, I wouldn't put it past me! It would all depend on how satisfied I was at the time!

？！

Nope. In the end, I am what I am.

You can't restrain the gods. Neither can you restrain a demon like myself.

So if it should come to that, all I can do is wish you good luck.

Well, I can promise you this:

Should it really come to that, my Brahmastra will shred your scales and end your life.

Oho, is that so? Then I should warn you to prepare to be beaten within a millimeter of your life, for I won't be holding back.

Keeheehee!

...Good grief.

You have a strange relationship with Vritra, Master. It can't be easy keeping an evil dragon in check as your Servant.

I suppose all I can say is...be careful.

？！

I see. Well, I know you are a sound judge of character, Master. If that's what you think, then you're most likely right.

...All right, I think I'm going to do a little more training. Take care on your way back.

Oh, would you like a banana before you go? They're very good.

？！

For the time being, yes. Let's just say I saw what I wished to see.

That aside...my long-term reason for being here in the first placewhat I most look forward to seeing, that isis still very much in effect.

Yes, I'm talking about you.

Can you truly save the world?

Will you be able to endure the trials awaiting you? Will you be able to keep going despite the obstacles you face?

You do understand that you still have a mountain of work ahead of you, right?

？！

Keeheehee. That's it. That's the thing I like best about humans.

Humans, gods, and heroes.

When they see someone else giving their all to overcome adversity...or even if they only hear about it in a story or legend...

...they are able to make that effort into their own strength, and struggle against the obstacles they themselves must overcome.

And in doing so, they become newer, better versions of themselves.

Yes... I will never change. I will always be an eternal, unkillable demon.

But perhaps the changes that do not happen in me, happen in you humans instead.

That's why I never get tired of seeing you struggle to overcome adversity. Ahh, what a delight.

？！

Good. Whatever you do, make sure you don't disappoint me.

Remember what the king of Kosala said?

If I ever sense that things are taking a turn for the dull, and begin to grow bored...

...then the moment you try to take back something you truly want...

I may just end up standing in your way as your final enemy myself! Keeheehee!

？！

Hmph. I don't care for that warm, knowing gaze of yours.

I'm so used to being hated, it's honestly throwing me for a loop...

Well, no matter. I think I'll go to the communal bath next.

I think Pārvatī should be done with her lecture by now.

You humans take baths to relieve stress too, right? You can join me if you like.

It would be a good opportunity to show you I don't hate baths. I am, in fact, a very hygienic serpent.

I'd even be willing to let you touch my smooth scales, or wash them yourself if you want.

Just as long as you don't use any sudsy soap, of course!