Super Orion's Baffling New Experience

Got it! Now to give this thing a crushing bear hu

You know, on second thought, it looks a little on the slimy side for that. I'm just gonna give it a whack with my trusty club!

Gaaah! The slime got in my eyes! And my mooouth!

Bleeeagh! Blech, ptooey!

？！

Y-yeah, I'm all right. I just need some water.

Phew. That was gross.

I didn't think it'd just POP like that when I hit it... I mean, okay, maybe I should have, but still.

I'm sorry, but there are still more hostiles in the area.

They're most likely the source of this Singularity.

Ah, don't worry. I've still got plenty of energy to spare!

All right, Master, let's do this thing!

...are...ry...

...ell...eed...

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Don't worry. They're just ghosts; it doesn't matter what they say. All right, I'm gonna smash you all to smithereens!

!!!

Wh-what the...!? They're just charging at us out of nowhere!

？！

Okay, let's do this!

Wh-what the...!? They scattered?

All enemies eliminated! Great job, Master and Orion!

？！

Yeah, great work, teaAh, ah, ah, achoo!

Are you all right, Orion?

Yep, yep. Man, been a while since I sneezed.

Hm, maybe this means some hot chicks are talking about me back in Chaldea?

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Hey, c'mon! I'm being serious here!

Achoo! Brrr. Is it just me, or is it kind of cold out here?

It is twenty degrees Celsius, or sixty-eight degrees Fahrenheit, so it shouldn't seem particularly cold to you...

Gotcha. But man, now my nose is starting to itch... Wachoo!

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Hey, thanks.

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Hahaha, don't be silly, Master. Servants don't catch colds!

Maybe those spirits cursed me when they popped or something! I'm kinda impressed they've got me sneezing!

Wahahahaha!

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Everything hurts.

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Hmm...

I see...

I can say with absolute certainty what this is, but...

This is fascinating. A truly fascinating array of symptoms.

Um, so, what does he have...?

A cold.

...A cold!?

You're kidding, right? ...Right?

Do you not see all this muscle? My body is literally a gift from the gods.

How the heck could I catch a cold!?

...Oogh. I'm dizzy and I've got chills, a pounding headache, and a really sore throat...

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A cold, huh. Wow, no kidding. So this is what having a cold's like!

I've never experienced anything like this before!

Judging by your symptoms, it seems quite severe.

Agreed.

You have a temperature of thirty-eight degrees Celsius, or 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit, serious throat inflammation, a severe headache, and are so dizzy you struggle to stand.

...For the moment there's only one thing we can tell you.

Wh-what's that!?

Get some bed rest.

You mean...just lie down? But that's so boring.

We did have a bout of Sumerian Fever going around at one point...

...but it looks like you really do just have an ordinary cold.

But it's odd that it happened to you while you are a Servant.

Especially seeing as you're the great Greek hero, Orion.

At peril of sounding like Asclepius, I'm quite fascinated by this whole situation.

Do you have any idea how you got sick?

？！

Your sneezing started yesterday in the minute Singularity, around when you resolved it, right?

And we still have Sheba's records of the whole thing, don't we?

Let's take a look.

Asclepius is working on a cure. Nightingale is assisting him.

So, I may as well be the one to investigate. Would you mind assisting, Master? Mash?

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Understood.

Ugh, my head hurts. Oh, and my stomach's not great either...

It's okay, Orion.

Someone heard you weren't feeling well, and is already heading here to watch over you.

Whoa, really!?

Really. So please just go back to sleep and don't worry about anything.

Oh man, just hearing that is enough to make me perk uNope, spoke too soon. My head's still killing me...

Please try to get some rest...

Me? Nah, I've never been sick. I'd kind of like to see what it's like sometime!

Huh?

So...it must be the pretty girl who volunteered to be my angel in white! Please, come in!

Hehehe.

Sorry, it's just me.

Dammit!

Hah! You might not think it, but I do have some experience caring for sick patients.

So I thought I should start by giving you a full rundown.

Rundown?

Right. Of everything you need to do to beat a cold.

This may be hard to believe, but the only thing you can do with a cold is wait for it to run its course.

Isn't there some medicine I can take?

Well, yes, but at best it can just mitigate some of the symptoms.

I suspect that's what Asclepius is working on now.

Now, let me take a look at you.

No!

I was not asking.

...You're sweating quite a lot. Let's start by wiping you off with a towel.

Ha!

Feels more like I was just attacked than wiped down.

Hahaha, it's just your imagination. Now, have some of this.

What's this?

Applesauce.

I can't say how much it'll do for a Servant, but it should at least be better than eating nothing.

I also brought in a humidifier to keep the air from getting too dry.

Will any of this actually help?

We'll find out.

Man, you really know what you're doing, don't you? Guess I get why you were sage now!

Oh no, this is more experience than knowledge. I took care of many children in my time, after all.

Oh... ...So, you did this stuff for Achilles, too?

No, he never caught so much as the sniffles. Jason, on the other hand, caught colds as much as any typical boy.

What was he like when he did?

He mostly alternated between cursing the world and whining to my wife about how awful he felt. Mainly to get her to comfort him.

Aw man, I'm so jealous!

Hahaha. I suppose that, too, was part of his charm.

Charm, huh...

All right, I've done all I can.

Asclepius and Ms. Nightingale should be along momentarily.

'Kaaay.

(...Sigh)

It was nice of him, doing all that for me...but my head still hurts something fierce.

I had no idea Jason used to get all that TLC from Chiron's hot wife when he was sick, though. Lucky bastard!

You think getting sick is enviable?

The next time you say such a thing in my hearing, I will give you medicine so horrible, you will not even have the words to describe it.

Would that...even be medicine, then!?

Tch. Anyway, I brought some medicine for you now.

Uhh, am I supposed to drink it, or...?

While I'm sure that would have been preferable, I instead have two choices for you: a shot, or an injection.

They're the same damn thing!

Isn't there any other way you could administer it, Dr. Asclepius?

Well, there is one alternative. I can give it to you as a suppository.

SHOT! GIVE ME THE SHOT!!!

There really is a minimal difference between administering medication through the bloodstream or via the rectum, medically speaking.

There's a pretty big difference to me!

Very well, but I must warn you, this is going to hurt.

Wait, wait. I thought shots only stung a little?

We weren't sure whether an ordinary needle could penetrate a Servant's skin, let alone muscles as thick as yours.

So we commissioned a swordsmith to fashion a needle which would be equal to the task.

Gah! Does it have to be so damn big!?

In fact, yes!

This may be just a cold, but it has nevertheless infected someone like you, whom we know to be superhuman.

This is unprecedented, and as such, we're treating it with the utmost seriousness!

...Having said that, it's still just a cold. Unfortunately, all we can do is treat the symptoms.

All right...here goes!

Yeooow! No, wait. That doesn't actually hurt. Or does it? I can't decide!

I see. Your body is familiar with the pain of combat injuries, but not the incidental pain that comes with medical treatment.

As such, you can subconsciously shut off your pain receptors, but you still experience some of that pain because of your own confusion.

This has been a good case study.

All that's left now is to dress warmly and get some sleep.

A cold can leave you fatigued even after periods of inactivity.

So...I just have to sleep?

That's right. Still, this is a Servant's cold we're dealing with.

There's no telling what else it may have in store...

But for the time being, we'll stick to treating it as we would any other cold.

All right, we'll leave you be now. Do make sure to get some rest.

Will do.

(Sigh)... So I've just gotta sleep, huh.

I can close my eyes, but after that...

I don't know how I'm supposed to actually fall asleep...

...Right. I've gone over the records several times now.

It seems fairly clear that the Vengeful Ghost was the source of this cold.

But I struggle to imagine how a single ghost could infect Orion like this.

Which leads me to believe that the problem is the Sea Fiend he killed earlier.

I apologize for the mental image here...but he swallowed some of its blood, didn't he?

It wasn't much, but yes, he did.

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That blood drained him of his curse resistance.

Then, shortly after, the ghost hit him with a powerful blast of an illness-inducing curse.

So that's how he caught it. Then, um, does that mean

Yes.

Just as we thought, there's nothing more we can do.

If this illness were life-threatening, we would have to be doing everything possible to fight it...

...but this is only a cold, and it will go away like any other.

After all, the spirit who gave it to him is already gone, along with the Sea Fiend who made the infection possible.

All we can do now is wait and see.

Of course, there is danger in taking a cold too lightly. Drain too much of your stamina and you could develop pneumonia.

Should that happen, he'll need more in the way of treatment.

I see.

Oh, and I'm afraid I can't let you or Master see him until he's completely recovered, Mash.

Other Servants should be fine, but you two could end up catching his cold.

At any rate, that's my diagnosis. I'll go tell the others as well.

A cold, huh. Please be careful you don't catch it too, Senpai.

Right.

If I caught a cold, I don't think I'd be allowed to see you until it was gone...

...so I'm going to take every precaution I can to make sure that doesn't happen.

Of course.

If you did catch a cold, it would be a disaster for Chaldea.

So I would stop at nothing to nurse you back to health!

？！

So I can't see Mash or Master until I'm all better, huh.

That sucks, but I guess that's just how it's gotta be.

I expect you'll feel much better by tomorrow morning.

I sure hope so.

...You know, though I'm obviously assuming you'll make a full recovery...

...I think I'm a bit jealous of you right now.

What, seriously? Why?

Hmm... I think you'll see why eventually.

Eventually, huh...

Okay, good night.

Thanks. ...(Cough, cough!)

Oh my. You don't look so good, Darling.

...Artemis?

Hehe. Maybe, maybe not.

I see. Okay, at this point, I don't care who you are.

Please...just stay with me.

Oh wow. You're so weak. It's adorable.

Not...really sure how to feel about that reaction...

Don't worry about it. Are you doing okay? Can I hold your hand?

Well, what can you do, Darling? You're only human.

This is proof positive of that. Don't you think, Darling?

That's why I love you. Why I'm in love with you.

We can't help but envy what we can't experience ourselves, right?

...You're not thinking about getting sick on purpose, are you?

Urk. O-o-of course not.

Don't do it.

If a goddess like you gets sick, it'd totally rob you of your dignity.

...If you say so.

More importantly, I just don't want to see you suffering.

Illness really does a number on people, doesn't it? I don't think I've ever seen you be so honest about your feelings.

Hehe. I love it.

I don't think I'd like you this way all the time, though.

I mean, there just wouldn't be much difference between you and a believer who's all praise and nothing else.

All right, you want to know how I really feel? You're a terrible excuse for a goddess!

Even suffering from a cold like this, you still can't be honest with me!

Buzz off! Can't you tell I need to sleep!?

Okay, fine. ...But you don't mind if I stay until you fall asleep, right?

...Do what you want.

I think I will, since I'm a goddess.

...Hm?

Good morning. How are you feeling?

Huh?

... ...

Hey! I'm totally fine!

Now, now, settle down. All right, it does seem like your fever's broken. You should be good to go.

Master! Mash!

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Good morning, Orion. I'm so glad to see you back on your feet!

You said it! Man, there's nothing better than not being sick!

Now do you realize how lucky you are to be healthy?

You bet I do! Hahaha!

...Granted, humans have a tendency of forgetting that, then going and getting sick all over again.

All right! It's a new day and I'm gonna make the most of it, starting right now! And that means spending quality time with cute girls.

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...Not quite what I meant by "cute girls" but thanks for trying.

But you know, as long as I can throw down, I don't care where we go!

Let's get going, Master!

Wait, Orion. I almost forgot something important.

Hm?

It's something of a tradition.

Something any medical professional should say when parting ways with a patient.

...Take care.