Trickcal: Chibi Go story · Apostle stories
Erpin's Story
Despite having just eaten lunch not too long ago, Erpin whines that she is hungry. Eventually, she ends up at a bakery and devours all the baked goods she can lay her hands on. Ner... I don't know how you do it.
6 scenes, 382 lines
1. Queen of Gluttony
66 linesQueen of Gluttony
Sprite Forest
Urrrrgh... I'm hungry!
But you just had lunch not too long ago, Erpin.
I usually have snack times in between, but that's impossible when I'm outside the palace, is it?
Snack times? When do you have those?
Breakfast, lunch, dinner...
Once per meal?
Three times between meals.
.........
Breakfast, snack, snack, snack, lunch, snack, snack, snack, dinner... Like this?
Three times after dinner as well! I can't sleep if I'm hungry!
So 12 meals in total...?
Me too? I'm still full from lunch...
Even better then.
What do you mean?
I can have your snack as well. Leggo!
Erpin?! Where are you going?!
Sprite Village
There's a bakery around here that I often frequent.
You mean Ashur's bakery?
Nuh-uh!
Do you really think there's only one bakery in all of Sprite Kingdom?
There are five bakeries in every alley. There are so many options...
Sometimes Ashur gets upset and refuses to give me baked goods when I call her place a bakery.
'Give' you baked goods?
You don't 'buy' them?
What the heck do you take me for?!
Ah, sorry... I was just teasing...
I'm their Queen! What's a few baked goods?!
I bear the weight of this crown for them! The least my citizens can do is pay tribute with a few baked goods!
You're so serious about this...
Bakery
Ahem, hem!
Baker! Bring forth a cheesecake, red velvet cake, and chocolate cake!
Whole cakes, not slices.
You can eat all of that?
Hold your tongue! I must focus and maintain my dignity while eating!
Why do I even bother...
Y-Your Majesty, my apologies... The cakes have completely sold out in the morning, so I do not have any left.
What?
Oh well...
I can have other baked goods.
Bring me one of each kind of baked good you offer here!
O-Of course...
After some shuffling and rustling, the baker brings a heap of baked goods.
H-Here you go.
Baker!
Yes?
Are you trying to pull one over on me?
P-Pull one over? What do you—
Why do I not see a single loaf of bread displayed out front?
Those are just plain loaves of bread with nothing inside... I did not think you'd have those...
Then just provide jam with it! Jam is a basic condiment with bread, is it not?!
M-My apologies! I will bring it right away!
Wonderful! Ahem!
.........
That's the day I realized something...
Ner, scolding Erpin over Sprite Palace always being in the red...
Ashur, always toiling away, yet constantly unable to meet the baked goods delivery deadlines to the palace...
The bakery owners, unable to hide how pale their faces get at the sight of Erpin entering their shops...
All of these guys...
See themselves reflected in the piles of baked goods...
...that are helplessly sucked into that endless abyss.
2. Grinding for Ground Cakes
70 linesGrinding for Ground Cakes
Sprite Forest
You're tagging along today, Ashur?
Yup, Her Majesty asked me to supply food since she'd be traveling pretty far today.
.........
Ashur... Thank you for your service...
Huh? What do you mean?
Ah, nothing.
Alright, is everyone ready? Let's get going!
Yes, Your Majesty!
It doesn't seem like Ashur is stressing over this...
As we walk along, Ashur's baking tools clatter as they move around in her bag.
Since we have Sprite Kingdom's greatest baker accompanying us today, we can at least have snack time, right?
I told you, I'm the magic school headmistress, not a baker!
Ah... Sorry, sorry!
Anyway, please prepare some snacks quickly, Ashur.
I only had 13 streusel buns for breakfast before leaving, so now I'm craving fresh cream cake.
It will be ready in a jiffy. Please go on a short stroll or something nearby while you wait!
Hehe! Okay!
...Erpin is always cheerful.
Ashur, is there anything that I can help with?
Huh? It's fine! I'm good.
Erpin seems to eat a ton. Will you be able to make enough so soon?
Well, I did bring some leftovers from the store, and if I need more, I can always play it by ear.
Leftovers from the store?
Typically, cakes should be thrown out after a day.
So, whenever I'm called to accompany Her Majesty, I can get rid of the cakes that way.
What? So you've brought some leftover cake that you haven't been able to sell?
Don't underestimate the Queen!
Her Majesty can even eat 2-week-old cakes without issue! So I brought along all the leftovers from the past 2 weeks.
...Does Erpin know about this?
Ashur's expression briefly sent chills down my spine.
Ah... Is everything ready?
He... hehe. Thank you.
You have my usual snack-time dessert ready too, right?
Wait... "Snack time" and "dessert time" are different...?
Uh, o-okay...
Please don't worry. I will prepare your dessert as you enjoy your snack, Your Majesty.
Very good!
Why is Ashur going into the forest when she said she was going to prepare dessert?
Ashur, what are you doing here? I thought you were going to make dessert.
I am.
Here? What are you...
Ashur packs grass and dirt into the shape of a cake.
Wh-What are you doing?!
Shush! K-Keep your voice down, you idiot!
The kingdom is always taking baked goods on credit... I'm struggling with keeping the school open, you know...
B-But this is just caked dirt!
It's okay. Once I finish it up with a touch of some magic spice, she'll never know.
Using magic?
Yes. As long as she can taste the flavor of the cake when she puts it into her mouth, Her Majesty doesn't even bat an eye...
But aren't you going a bit too far here?
Would you throw away your meal just because a speck of dust landed in it, Master?
Huh? Well, with just a speck of dust... I'd probably eat it without even noticing.
That's what this is. A "speck of dust."
Take into account the sheer amount Her Majesty eats.
Your Majesty! Your dessert, coming right up!
Ah! This is that chocolate cake, isn't it! The one I always have with that invigorating flavor!
It always tastes the way I imagine it, and the texture is so soft and crumbly! I love it!
Just how you imagine it, yes. Hehe...
.........
I think it might be best to avoid Ashur's Bakery from now on.
3. Zero Calorie Queen Diet
59 linesZero Calorie Queen Diet
Sprite Village
A diet? You?
Ner promised to let me eat as much as I want next month if I can lower the food bill for this month by even just a little!
.........
Oh, so it's not for your health, eh?
My health? I'm always healthy.
N-Never mind. Don't worry about it.
I must admit, I sometimes envy how sprites can scarf down all those sugar-packed treats without any problems.
Urgh, my hands and feet are trembling badly.
Huh?
Why is this happening?
.........
Don't tell me that she develops issues when she's off sugar...
Erpin, so what's your diet plan?
I'm not going to have any snack times today!
Aside from breakfast and lunch, I didn't have any snacks at all!
Really?
Yup! Impressive, right? This is the patience of a Queen!
Y-Yeah... Impressive.
Let's get our minds off of food and... patrol the kingdom!
Patrol? All of a sudden?
Yup, if I don't keep myself busy, I keep thinking about food...
Y-You'll help me out, too, right?
I guess I don't really have anything to do today, but—
Thanks!
Wait, I didn't finish...
Let's start at the square and do one giant lap around!
...I guess I'd better follow along.
30 minutes into patrolling.
Erpin, stop going up to every bakery in sight and licking their windows!
The smell of baked goods... It's penetrating my every thought...!
Why are there so many bakeries?!
There are 5 bakeries in every alley! What the heck?!
You said you were going to diet! You're gonna give up in less than half a day?
I can hear whispering from the crowds around us.
The gathering crowds nearby make me feel even more embarrassed.
Erpin, hang in there, and let's actually leave the city walls.
Huh?
Since there aren't any bakeries outside the city walls, you won't have to think about eating as much!
S-Sure...! Let's do that!
Sprite Forest
Alright, at least the smell of baked goods doesn't reach us here.
Erpin, are you alright?
Mmm? Immokay...!
What are you eating off the ground?!
Blech!
Why are you shoveling dirt into your mouth? Have you decided to forget about the "Queen's dignity" or whatever you call it completely?
I couldn't help myself. It reminds me of the dessert that Ashur always makes for me!
Th-They may look the same, but th-this is just dirt!
That punk, Ashur... How dare she make me stoop to this level... Creating a dessert that looks exactly like dirt...
ARGH!!!!
Don't...
Blame Ashur... would be weird to say...
I mean, she did, in fact, feed her dirt...
4. Taxes Needed
59 linesTaxes Needed
Sprite Forest
I manage to calm an angry Erpin down. getting her to sit on the grass.
C'mon Erpin, don't be like that. How about we sit here on the grass and just relax?
Try not to think about anything and just take it easy.
Erpin lies back on the grass, weakly looking up at the sky.
Master...
What? Thinking about what to eat again?
Just hold on a little longer. You'll get used to it and then...
It turns out... there really is no such thing as a free lunch.
Huh?
Actually, I got in trouble with Ner this morning.
She said all those baked goods I wolf down from the bakery...
Well, it's all been coming out of the treasury.
Ner told me she's struggling with the budget and that I need to cut back.
Well... I kind of saw that coming, but I guess it really is like that.
I... wasn't always like this, you know.
Ever since I became a member of the Clean Plate Club...!
My intake has increased to where it is now!
Calling it "intake" makes it sound like you're not eating normally. How about just calling it your "meal size?"
How can you be teasing me at this moment? I'm being serious!
Erpin, everything will all work out.
Just like how you gradually increased your meal size, you can reduce it little by little.
Really?
For sure. I heard extreme dieting can be toxic for you later in life.
So try not to worry too much; just try cutting back a little every day.
Okie...
.........
Looking at Erpin, I feel so bad for her.
Come to think of it, she hasn't eaten anything besides breakfast and lunch today.
Erpin, are you really hungry right now?
Didn't you see me trying to eat dirt earlier? Of course, I'm starving.
Sigh...
I guess that's just the way it is.
This is a snack I carry around to eat when I feel peckish.
Here, have this at least.
Master...! Really?
Yeah. It's nothing compared to how much you usually snack on, but it should be good enough...
*Nom Gulp* Delishush!
Oh, you ate it all already.
I won't forget your kindness!
No, no. I don't know if I would call it kindness...
I... just had a great idea!
Wouldn't it be great if you could bring me this kind of "kindness" more often?
Come again?
Since there's a shortfall in the kingdom's budget, couldn't we cover my food expenses with the Order's budget?
I won't make you cover all of it! Just take care of my snack fund!
Say what?
Yeah! I should have thought of this sooner!
We should place a "snack tax" on the Order! I'm a genius!
What do you think you're doing?!
Oh, that's right! Besides, technically, aren't you just living off the good graces of our kingdom?
We'll impose a special stranger tax! Ah, my genius knows no bounds!
That... idea is...
Thanks! I'm going to tell Ner she can start deducting my snack expenses from the budget!
NO!!!
Hey! Stop right there!!
5. Mint Chocolate, Tax Blocker
69 linesMint Chocolate, Tax Blocker
Holy Chamber
Sigh...
Sighing, Ner slams down the documents with a loud thud, raising her voice.
Don't you have anything to say?!
Very quickly apologize.
Well... Um... Uh... I'm sorry...?
What?!?! Do! You! Think! Sorry! Is going to cut it right now?!
B-But! Erpin!
Which is why I want to know the reason you gave snacks to Her Majesty when she was just minding her own business?! Look at the mess you made!
You could have just let her go without for a while!
Hey... Even so, she was still eating dirt...
If eating that didn't cause any issues with Her Majesty, then it was fine!
Now there's a deficit in the Order's budget, thanks to you, Master. You'll need to take responsibility for that!
Protest like your life depends on it.
B-but! If Erpin hadn't gone on a diet in the first place...!
So, are you saying this is somehow my fault now?
Ice cold. Ner's gaze is ice-cold, colder than absolute zero...
N-N-No! Of course not! You're right! It's my fault! Absolutely my fault!
Now then. Since you admit it's your fault, shouldn't you take full responsibility?
Yes, of course! You're absolutely right!
The invoices continue to come in, even as we speak... So get to it! Now!
With Ner furious to her core, I'll have to find the true cause of all this.
Where could she be, this troublemaker of a queen? Let's first check out the streets of Sprite Kingdom.
Sprite Village
1 hour later
*Huff... Huff* I've finally... finally found her!
Every bakery on streets of Sprite Kingdom had a "Sold Out" sign on its door. After wandering around for a very long time, I finally found one that was still open.
Bakery
Chef! Quickly. Bring out a whole blueberry cheesecake, raspberry chocolate cake, and fresh cream cake.
Yes... Yes'm!
The entire cake, not slices, of course!
You... You! You said you were on a diet! What's with all these cakes?!
You're here, Master! I stopped the diet because you said you'd cover my snack fund!
When did I say that?!
It'll be fine! After all, eating well and staying healthy is what's most important!
Stop eating already!
Chef! Another blueberry cheesecake!
I said stop eating!
This is bad. If this continues, I'll be in serious trouble with Ner... Worse, I might even get kicked out...
Chef! Bring out one of every kind of baked goods you sell here... No, make that two of each kind!
Stop... Stop it! If you eat any more, I'm definitely going to get kicked out by Ner!
Cake really is the best! Oh, and this milk bread is delicious too. Chef! Two more orders of this bread with some apple jam!
If this keeps going, I'm 100% getting kicked out by Ner. And probably after they've cleaned out my savings...
Just then, I spied a pile of baked goods stacked in a corner of the bakery.
Chef! What's that?!
I'm sorry? Ah, that's mint chocolate bread. It hasn't been selling well, so we've slashed the price...
That's it!
Erpin? Are you still hungry?
Huh? Yeah, I am! There's still some room left in my tummy!
Good, good. Eat as much as you want. Here, I've brought more baked goods for you.
Huh? What's wrong?
Uh... Um...
Erpin quietly sets her fork down and turns her head away.
Uhhh... Erpin? What's going on?
I mean... I kind of lost my appetite... No, actually... I'm full now. I think I'm done eating.
No way... You... You don't like mint chocolate bread? The Queen is picky?! Picky eating is not a good thing!
That... That's not it...
Now, now. Why don't you give it a try?
I put the mint chocolate bread on the fork and bring it to her mouth, but Erpin quickly turns her head away. While I'm trying to stuff the chocolate mint bread into Erpin's soft cheeks, she finally gives in and starts to speak.
Tch. Fine. I don't like mint chocolate bread! Just hearing the name kills my appetite!
As the Queen, you should set a good example! Now, eat up. There's plenty more where that came from. Hehehe.
Ugh... Urgh! I need to get out of here. Right now. Chef! Be sure to charge everything we ate today to the Master.
Yes, Your Majesty!
Hey! Erpin, that's not... Hey! Where are we going? Are you listening to me?!
I never expected Erpin to hate mint chocolate bread. My goodness... There actually is something Erpin dislikes.
From now on, I'll make sure her snacks always include mint chocolate.
6. How to Become a Great Queen
59 linesHow to Become a Great Queen
Inner Sanctum of the Yggdrasil Order
Hey stranger... Do you really understand the queen's burdens? Do you know the weight of this crown?
Ner... Why is she being like that?
Huh? How would I know? Why do you ask?
No, it's just that Erpin has been acting strange for a while. She keeps sighing and muttering some nonsense...
Siigh... What does it truly mean to be a great queen...? Not that you, Master, would understand this struggle.
Have pigs started to fly...?
Ner quickly opened the window to check if pigs were actually flying.
The pigs still are on the ground...
Master. What do you think makes a great queen?
After staring blankly for a moment, Ner quickly raises her hand to speak.
I think a queen who is very invested in the kingdom's finances is, by far, a very great queen, Your Majesty.
You probably don't understand such a soul-crushing question, Master... I shouldn't have asked.
Yes, the kingdom's finances. Your Majesty, are you listening? We're running a deficit again this month!
Hmm... I'm somehow feeling oddly irritated... But, Ner, who's here next to me, is insisting we should first give some thought to the kingdom's finances.
Erpin sighs deeply, looking incredibly distressed.
The weight of the crown... is just too heavy...
Your Majesty? You're ignoring me right now, aren't you?
It sure seems like it.
It's okay, Ner. She's ignoring me too.
Born a queen, locked up in this prison called the Kingdom...
Hello? Your Majesty? You're all here, right? Including your faculties?
Let's try calming down for now, Ner. Erpin, what do you think makes a queen great?
Hmm... I just want my subjects to always be happy and enjoy the things in life.
Erpin, who has been ignoring both Ner and me, finally responds to this question.
As I said, I want everyone to be happy and enjoy life... but it's easier said than done.
Wow... You also have moments when such worries enter your mind, Erpin.
Your Majesty, instead of looking at the bigger picture, what if you start by making someone like me happy?
What about my older sister? She'd probably do a better job than I could, don't you think, Master?
Uh... Well. Belita does seem to be doing well...
What can I do to make my subjects happy...? Just adding more bakeries in the streets of Sprite Kingdom doesn't seem to cut it anymore.
First of all, just listening to what I have to say, would make me incredibly happy.
Ner seems very insistent.
If my sister were nearby, I could talk to her about these concerns... It's times like these where the queen's throne feels so lonely and isolating, as if there's no one to lean on...
Excuse me? Your Majesty?
Wow... She really is completely ignoring Ner.
Even though Ner is continuously complaining beside her, Erpin is completely ignoring her.
Hmm... Constant rumination may be a good thing, but I don't think it's a good idea to stress over things that don't have an immediate answer.
Oh, that's right. As they say, "an army marches on its stomach"... There's nothing like filling your stomach, so how about some snacks?
S-Snack?
I saw it. The intense quivering in Erpin's eyes...
A-Ahem! No, no. I'm still struggling with what makes a queen great... So do not... bring me... any snacks...
Hey, I can see you gritting your teeth. Just have some...
Sh-Should... Ahh! No! I am the Queen of the Sprite Kingdom!
I must be dignified and refined! Do you really think I'd fall for some silly snack?
OMG...
What's going on? Will wonders never cease? Your Majesty, are you sure you're not feeling unwell?
Hey, Erpin. Are you sure you're not really sick?
It's nothing like that. Anyway, I don't need any snacks.
Argh! Why are the two of you trying to interrupt my thoughts? I'm here ruminating on what it means to be a great queen!
Hey, Ner... It really seems like hell has frozen over...
Did something unusual get into Her Majesty's food? We should probably check!
Ner hurriedly pushes the door open and runs out.
It's not like that! You guys won't understand what I'm thinking!
Sigh... But as Queen, it's also my duty to give grace to the mistakes of those under me. I just have to grin and bear it... What choice do I have?
Ah, the path of a Queen is so long and treacherous...
Well... I mean, contemplating stuff is always a good thing.
Keep this up, you'll be one step closer to becoming a great queen! You got this, Erpin!