Taida's Story

Oh, why is there nothing good on the intranet today?

I've only been browsing for six hours, and I've already seen everything, dang.

How's work going... there's a message?

Notifying all personnel. Notifying all personnel.

The mayor has said that the hill behind the dormitory looks too empty.

We've decided to plant flowering trees, so everyone who's free is advised to come out immediately.

Reminder: Come to the back of the dormitory right now. Over.

Gee, Captain. Isn't that where we pulled out everything last week because it was apparently too messy?

They just can't make up their minds, can they?

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna pretend I didn't see it.

I'll just stay here until the end of the day, and then....

Yikes, someone's coming!

...

Eck, it's the mayor's secretary!

Wasn't she supposed to be out on some business with the mayor today?

This is no good, she'll give me an earful if she finds me in here.

I'd better sneak out before she sees me....

Ahhh... Mayor....

... Huh? What is she doing?

I can't get over how cool you are, Mayor.

Even today, seeing you slamming the rejection stamp on the documents made me fall for you all over again.

You're really, really making it hard for me to hold back.

I can't make out what she's saying from this distance, but....

... S-She's dancing? Now? Here?

The mayor's spanner, sparkling bright again today~

Cracking the heads of fools who have a screw loose...

Oh, Mayor! Elegance, gorgeous, delicious...

... Let's film this.

This will definitely top the Most Trending Videos list! This is guaranteed to go viral

Once my ElfTube takes off, I'm ditching this job for good and becoming an influencer!

Hehe, good thing I didn't go out for that planting... Ugh!!

D-Damn it! I accidentally knocked over a shelf!

... Huh?!

... Hello? Is anyone there?

N-No, there isn't anyone here.

....

....

... How are you? I'm sorry.

I know I've done wrong, so please forgive me.

Taida!

Why are you here...?

H-How long have you been here?

Uh... I, I was...!

ARRGH! What should I do? I'm screwed...!

I'm sorry, Miss Secretary.

I didn't mean to do it, but it just happened somehow....

It's still working hours... why are you here...?

No, I mean... why now, of all the moments...?

... Should I dispose of her...?

Uh, Miss Amelia...?

Could you not say such scary things to yourself?

It was just an idea.

Actually, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

If I do this and that, there won't be any traces left....

Will this and that happen to me?!

I admit I was slacking off, but I don't think what I did was something so bad!

... You have a point, Taida.

Excuse me, I got a little carried away.

Please don't say such scary things just because you got a little carried away.

When it's you who's saying it, not any other elf, it doesn't sound like a joke....

That's your problem, Taida.

But before that... let's talk about what happened a little earlier.

How much did you see?

Uh... you were dancing pretty good- *HUP*!

Excuse me. My hand slipped and covered your mouth accidentally.

I apologize for saying this when I brought it up first, but let's not talk anymore about this.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yes, ma'am. I understand.

Good.

... *Sigh* No, this isn't good at all.

Why were you there? I'm sure Captain Canna has summoned everyone.

Hehe, oh, that's because I...

That's enough. You were probably away from your work place anyway.

I've already heard many times about your negligence at work.

I don't have to look up to know that your performance evaluation is on the verge of a pay cut.

Was I in such a dangerous situation?!

With that in mind, I have a proposal for you.

Forget everything you saw and heard a little earlier.

If you do that, I'll overlook your negligence.

It sounds good... but isn't it a bit lacking?

Why not throw me another bone?

What do you want?

Please raise my personnel evaluation score!

Then I'll do whatever you want, Miss Amelia!

Ugh... so devious...! How very elfin of you.

... Very well, I'll cut you a little slack.

We have a deal.

I know I let my guard down, but this is humiliating....

... You'd better keep your promise.

Then I'll take my leave.

... She's gone? She's gone, right?

I'll be in danger if I upload her dancing video on ElfTube, right?

If that's the case...!

Hahaha, look at all the reactions!

How could I possibly resist going for #1 on the Trending list?!

I didn't! I just got distracted by the smell of sweets!

That's different!

Elven sweets have this provocative yet hollow taste that feels lacking in something.

Huh? I don't know.

I don't know that either, and I just got off work!

If you really wanted to know, you should've asked 2 seconds ago. It's 4 seconds past already.

Ahh, that's easy for you to say since it's not your job.

Wouldn't you hate it too if someone told you to work when you're off work, Master?

Why are you trying to make someone do something you don't like to do yourself?

If you really want me to do it, pay me overtime or something.

You're the first reasonable person I've met! You know a thing or two, Master.

But the thing is, I don't want overtime pay either.

I don't have a dream. I just want to bum around and do nothing.

Whatever, I'm already off work, so find another elf.

Master? What are you doing here... ugh, Taida?!

Excuse me. It's nothing.

I'm sorry, but I'm a little busy right now. Taida will show you the way around.

Goodbye, then. I have to go.

What's going on? Master, are you still playing?

Haha, don't be surprised. In 5 minutes, you can eat 5 minutes' worth of sweets!

Oh, so you're the elf who can't be reasoned with?

No, I'm just off work. Could you let me go now?

I happen to know the right remedy to use on people like you.

It's called... the Big Fist!

Oww! Don't hit me! Why are you hitting me?!

The cure for the "Lazy Learner Syndrome" that makes you slack off and lazy is the right amount of violence! It's already worked once on the Master!

It didn't? Then wait a bit. After Taida, you're next!

Ehehe, I'll cure you all!

Okay, okay! Stop hitting me!

I'll take you to where Mayor Elena is, so stop hitting me!

Argh, if only I'd left work 5 minutes earlier...!

Ah. Ahh. I want to slack off.

I'm slacking off now, but I want to slack off even harder...!

So that anyone who sees me will say "Oh dear, she's slacking off," and click her tongue!

I want to slack off in the most glorious, flawless, and picture-perfect way possible!

But I've already slacked off in almost every way imaginable.

I'm getting into a rut... I need to slack off in a new way....

Should I hide in the flower bed and take a nap?!

No... I'll get caught by MaestroMK2 patrolling the city.

What about going to the Arcade and play some games?

No, no. You never know when Chief Canna will show up there.

A completely new way to play hooky without getting caught... It's surprisingly hard to think up one.

Oh, wait! There's that place!

Hehe, that's gotta be the best place to play hooky. I'll go there right now!

Alright, next patient. Taida?

What troubles you today, Taida?

Yes! I can't concentrate on my work, and I'm sleepy no matter how much I sleep!

Oh dear, really? Do you normally sleep a lot?

Not really, but I get so sleepy when I'm working.

In fact, I'd love to have a good nap right now.

I see. You get very sleepy....

Do you have any other symptoms? Any pre-existing conditions?

I feel like running away whenever I see the mayor. Is that a disease too?

No, that's a normal reaction.

A normal reaction, that's a surprise.

*Chuckle* Yes, it is.

Well... based on the symptoms you've described, there's only one illness I can think of.

What illness is it?

A feigned illness. Malingering.

What?! The very illness that 9 out of 10 elf office workers have suffered from at least once, according to the Elves Magazine?!

Was it such a common illness?

I heard it's an illness of the mind.

Since it's an illness that comes from not wanting to work, you could call it an illness of the mind, yes.

I didn't know I had such a scary disease.

I should take a nap, I mean, I should definitely be admitted for treatment, right?

*Chuckle* You seem very informed on malingering, Taida.

Of course, I did my research beforehand.

This hospital is very good at treating malingering, right?

*Chuckle* That's right. I would have given you a room right away.

Normally, I mean.

Normally? You mean now isn't normal? Everything looks normal to me.

I just happen to have a document that needs to be sent to the City Hall.

Since that's where you work, I'd like to ask you to deliver it just this once.

Oh....

I'm sorry. It's urgent.

Could you take it to the City Hall right away?

For your case of malingering, I'll give you a proper examination next time.

Gah, what a bummer.

I guess I'll just do what I'm told.

You'd better admit me for treatment next time, okay?

Of course, please don't worry.

I also like seeing the hospital room full.

Then please deliver the document safely.

The recipient is written on the document, so just take it to her.

Yes, yes. Leave it to me.

*Chuckle* I'll really take good care of you when you visit next time.

Since you're helping me like this.

No problem, I'll take your word on that.

Goodbye, then.

Goodbye.

Dang it, I went to play hooky and ended up with more work.

Not to mention I got beaten up by the Sprite Queen last time....

I've been weirdly unlucky lately.

Spotted. City Hall Civil Servant Taida. Away from workplace during work hours. Away from workplace during work hours.

See what I mean?! I got caught up in something weird again!

Seriously, what's with my luck today?

I'm not playing hooky, MK2. Look at this.

It's the document Hilde wants sent to the City Hall.

I came here to collect it. I'm working!

... Work progress confirmed. Canceling the printing of the written apology form.

Don't just start printing the written apology form like that.

... Wait. MK2, what are you doing right now?

Performing daily routines. Patrolling the city.

Nothing urgent. Good.

You deliver this to the City Hall. Yeah.

Why should I deliver it?

It doesn't matter who does it, and you're faster than me.

... Proposal accepted. Document delivery received.

Which Elf would you like to set as the document recipient?

Uh, who was it again? I don't remember.

Just hand it to whoever you see fit. She'll take care of it.

... Delivery terms registered. Initiating delivery.

Hehe, MK2 saved the day for me.

Alrighty, time for me to disappear and go play hooky again!

Delivering document. Please confirm receipt.

Good job, MaestroMK2. But what's this? Who sent it?

This document was received from Taida. Please confirm receipt.

Taida? She passed her work off to someone else again, huh.

Okay, I'll take care of this. You can go back to work now, MK2.

Concluding document delivery. Thank you. Have a nice day.

Assistant Manager, what document is this?

No idea. Taida sent it, apparently.

Just toss it anywhere Someone will come to collect it, I guess.

Will do!

Huh? This doesn't belong to our floor. I'll take it upstairs, okay?

You can't just bring a document from another team! Put it in the returns box.

Huh? Where did you put the document that Maestro brought in?

I don't know, I didn't touch it.

Yeah? Did the recipient come and collect it?

I guess she did! Let's call it a day and go home!

Amelia, I need you to check something for me.

Yes, Mayor. What is it?

The document Hilde was supposed to send me yesterday, the Invasive Species Health and Medical Report.

It's still not on my desk. What happened to it?

Let me check.

... The hospital sent the document. MaestroMK2 took over the delivery along the way and brought it in.

And... there's no record of it since it was received in the City Hall.

So, you don't know where the report is?

T-That's right.

*Sigh* Who first collected the document from the hospital?

... It's recorded as Taida. Taida handed it over to MaestroMK2.

So she just passed it off, huh?

Amelia, notify everyone in the City Hall immediately.

If they don't find the report and put it on my desk within the next two hours, they'll all get a pay cut.

And a very special reward will go to whoever that brings me Taida.

... Understood.

Did you find-

No, I didn't. Where the hell is that report?

No, not the report, Taida! She must be hiding real good, I don't see her anywhere.

What? Shouldn't we look for the report first?

Think about it. The mayor said she'd give us a big reward if we bring her Taida.

Don't you think she would retract the pay out as the reward?

Oh, you have a point. Alright, Let's give up on the report and look for Taida first.

You heard her, right? Prioritize Taida over the report! If we can catch Taida, our department will be safe!

Got it! We'll start hunting Taida right away!

Taida! Come out wherever you are!

We won't be mean to you! We're totally not mad~!

... Poo-ha! Are they gone? No one's here, right?

They won't treat me badly? They're only thinking of sacrificing me!

Gah... but I'm in huge trouble! Who knew that was such an important document?!

If I knew, I'd have delivered it properly! It's Hilde's fault for not explaining it thoroughly!

No, now isn't the time for that. W-Where should I run?

If you'd just done your job, none of this would have happened.

M-Miss Amelia...!

You brought it on yourself.

Are you here to catch me as well...?

On the contrary. I'm here to save you. Here, take this.

This is... the missing document!

Where did you find it?

It was about to be fed into the shredder when I located it.

The mayor will forgive you if you go to her with that.

... And with this, my debt to you for keeping your mouth shut is settled, okay?

Thank you, Miss Amelia! I was really in for it this time!

those guys chasing me down, swinging keyboards and mugs like weapons...

You're my savior! I'll do anything you ask from now on!

That's right, I'll take down your dancing video that I uploaded on the intranet! I'll delete the original file too!

...?

What? You uploaded what on the intranet?

Oh?

Ah... haha... you d-didn't know?

The intranet... on the Darknet...?

410,000 views, 4,200 comments...?!

There are only about 200 members on the Darknet, how is this possible?!

That's because the admin put in a function to inflate the numbers.

A-Anyway, what have you done?

You were supposed to pretend you didn't see it!

Well, pretending is one thing... but I caught it on camera before I agreed to it, so... hehe.

Shut up! I take back what I said about settling the debt! Give me back that document!

Ah, ahh! No! I'll delete it right away, so please...!

I'm going to shred the document! Whether you end up licking the mayor's feet or not, that's your problem!

*Wail* I'll never do that again...! Please Miss Secretary, forgive me just this once! *Wail*