Oh, Mayor, Mayor, My Mayor!

Mayor?

Mayor...

The werebeasts have breached the toll bar.

Huh? No way...

This is not a joke. Please take a look at the surveillance screen.

H-How can this be...?!

How did they pass through the toll bar? Neither force nor IQ should have allowed those guys to pass it!

Werebeasts... and sprites...? Wait... that's...

A human...?

A human... in Elias?

Cuuut! Cut, cut, cut, cut!

Halt the edits! Halt the edits!

Huh? What's wrong, Mayor?

What do you mean? Are you blind?

We can't use this for "This Elven Life: Seven Days with the Mayor" anymore!

R-Really? But it was going really well so far...

A human came out of nowhere! How are things going well?!

Wasn't that something made up?

It was starting to feel like a boring tribute fest for you, so I figured you were just tossing in some wild lines to add a little oomph.

No, look! It's right on the security footage!

Don't you usually touch up things like cluttered desks with CGI anyway?

I just thought you'd tweaked the original footage before sending—

Argh! This is real! I didn't tweak anything this time!

Wait... that means...!

There's an actual human in Monatium...? How is that even possible?!

Hmm, I... don't really know...! I have absolutely no clue!

Is there even an explanation for how WE ended up in Elias?!

We got here after you created that dimensional portal device, remember?

It wasn't intentional!

I could have sworn I set the coordinates for our home planet's space station back then!

Arriving in a world of sugar-crazed fools was never part of the plan!

Urgh... yes, we know that too...

But then...

What do we do now?

What do we do? Well, we quickly get together a Response Unit and—

No, not that.

What?

I'm talking about "This Elven Life: Seven Days with the Mayor." We have to finish it by this evening and send it to the Propaganda Unit...

Geez! Do you think that's important right now?!

I-It is, though...! If we don't, there's going to be dead air for an hour in tonight's propaganda broadcast...

Sigh...!

I don't care about the dead air! It doesn't matter!

Get in touch with all units and set up a video briefing!

We must decide how to deal with the human!

U-Understood!

I'll activate the emergency network and get them assembled!

Mayor, are you sure about convening this meeting?

You always said that such proceedings were inefficient, didn't you?

This is the first time something like this has happened since we got stranded in Elias, Amelia.

For a matter this serious, it might actually be worth hearing what others think.

Unless... you've got a brilliant idea of your own?

I don't... I'm just worried.

It feels like this will turn into a circus, full of fools clouding your judgment...

Don't worry. I'll filter out the nonsense myself.

Of course, Mayor!

You saved us from the clutches of humans!

I trust your conveniently selective narrow-minded judgment!

...Er, thanks.

Anyway... let's get started, shall we?

Hello?

Can you hear me?

Testing, testing... Hello?

Ah, I can hear you! I can hear you!

I forgot I had my mic on mute.

Okay, it looks like we have all unit representatives connected.

This emergency countermeasure meeting will now commence.

Let us start with the Elven Empire Pledge.

Please rise from your seats.

I pledge as a proud denizen of the Elven Empire...

Oh, come on! We don't have time for that!

This isn't our home planet!

We don't even have an Oversight Unit here. Who the heck are you trying to impress?!

Er... should we... skip it?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

Argh! My ears! Propaganda Unit, your sound is up way too high!

We must never forget who we are!

The Elven Empire Pledge is what anchors us and keeps our resolve firm no matter how many dimensions we cross or how far into the cosmos we are flung!

Okay, cool it! This is my city!

This isn't our home planet under the Supreme Commander's rule anymore!

While we're here blabbering away about nonsense...

That human is running loose in our city!

Let's start the meeting already!

NOOOOO!!!

Amelia! Turn the Propaganda Unit's mic off!

Understood...!

Ugh, that buffoon... if it weren't for her reputation, I'd have stuck her in some dead-end post to gather dust!

I slapped a fancy title on her out of courtesy, and now she's running wild!

Heh... you seem to be having a rough time, Elena.

What the... Why does it sound like this? Are the speakers broken?

This is the Intel Unit.

They were very insistent on using voice modification to maintain secrecy.

Ugh, quit messing around and turn off the filter!

Are we really going to waste time arguing over this?

You're the one who called for an emergency meeting about the human, aren't you?

Urgh... yeah, that was me.

Ugh, whatever... So? What do you want?!

You chimed in out of nowhere, so spill it... What is it that you have to say?

Mayor, you do realize that our Intel Unit is the only one in Monatium that actually functions properly, right?

Well... to a certain extent, yes...

The mission is underway—our top agent is handling it now. Heh

Oh, really?

Wait, but how did you even know? We didn't share any intel before this meeting.

We've had your computer hacked, of course.

It's standard Intel Unit practice to extract personal data from the top leader. How else would we hold more power than the leadership?

HEY!! Stop that immediately!

Look here. We really don't have time to be arguing with each other right now.

Urgh...! You just wait till later...

Wouldn't expect anything less from the Intel Unit! They've already uncovered the Mayor's deepest secrets!

And? How's your agent doing?

Did the human attack her?

Of course not.

Our agent is deceiving the human and safely extracting their secrets.

If you're that curious, I'll show you the footage from the camera we planted on the agent.

You planted a hidden camera on your own agent? Don't you even trust them?

The Intel Unit really covers all their bases!

Of course we do. Strictly monitoring intelligence agents who backstab like it's second nature is absolutely necessary.

Show me the footage already!

Let's see what that human is up to!

Please stop, everyone! Her Majesty is not completely wrong.

To be honest, I am also at my limit. It shames me to say, but I must also fill up.

Ah, o-okay! Follow me! As the g-g-guide, I am very familiar with restaurants!

There is a restaurant that serves food so good that many say they'd choose it as their last meal.

......

......

What the hell? Your top agent is a flipping tour guide?!

N-No! There must be some mistake...!

Oh, that must be it! It's all part of her plan!

She must be trying to get rid of the human by poisoning their food!

Sorry to burst your bubble... But there's no way to eliminate a living being like that in Elias.

Sh-Shut up, Medical Unit!

Urgh... This meeting was a mistake...

Long ago, the elves invaded the human planet, Earth.

With their advanced technology, the space-traveling elves launched an attack...

But the humans, hardened by thousands of years of civil conflict since the birth of nations, were far from easy prey.

The elven vanguard fell in humiliating defeat, every single one of them taken as prisoners...

And forced into horrific labor camps.

That is when their fear of humanity was seared into their very souls!

What decision will their commander-in-chief make to overcome this crisis?

Shut it, Analysis Unit!! Save your analysis for after this is over!

I've had enough from you in the peanut gallery!

Intel Unit, are you sure that Agent Rohne is really conducting an operation here?

Of course! Agent Rohne is Monatium's top spy!

Canna, verify whether their intel is accurate!

Understood! Intel Unit, the Suppression Unit will initiate contact with Agent Rohne!

What?! Don't just call an agent in the middle of an operation!

*Mutter, mutter... Mutter! Er? Mutter, mutter!*

Mayor, she says she just wants to feed the human a warm meal before getting back to business.

......

The Intel Unit is officially shut down as of today. Throw them all in prison—start with that fool!

N-NOOOOOO!!!

Are you really going to shut them down, Mayor?

There must be quite a few active agents throughout Elias.

Ugh... fine, fine.

Understood!

Siiiigh...

Does anyone else have anything to add?

......

......

Seriously? No one?!

Just where the heck is our tax money going if this is all you have to offer?!

I put you all in charge, and yet you can't do anything when it really matters?

You're all completely useless!

For the elves, this was a golden opportunity.

Some say elves are a race of traitors...

That they will betray you given the chance...

That they betray whether they mean to or not...

If an elf isn't betraying, it only means they're betraying even their own instinct to betray!

If Elena fails to resolve this crisis, her position will weaken.

And someone might just seize this chance to rise as Monatium's most powerful figure...!

Even with the massive threat that the human's arrival posed...

Many saw it as the perfect opportunity to pull off the greatest betrayal ever... for the greatest gains!

Analysis Unit, I told you to shut up...!

Stop giving a play-by-play like this is some damn baseball game!

To be fair, what she said was pretty valid.

Who's that?! Are you out of your mind?!

Are you serious?! Is that what you all are thinking right now?!

Argh! Forget this!

I don't need any of you! Freaking useless parasites! I'll just take care of everything by myself!!!

As expected, that wasn't productive at all.

You're the only one we can actually rely on, Mayor!

I'm exhausted.

Sorry?

It's not always easy for me, either, you know...

Mayor...

I thought it was going to be just another average day...

But now? What kind of cruel joke is this...?

I figured, that even though we were dumped into some primitive, medieval dimension...

At least we were free from humanity...

But now? Not even that anymore!

It's alright. You're the one who saved us elves, Mayor!

You did it once, and you can do it again!

Not to mention, it's just one of them this time, isn't it?

Please tell us what to do...!

I don't always have all the answers!

What if that human is just a reconnaissance scout?

What if they crossed dimensions to track us down and drag us back?!

What if their main force is lying in wait? What if this is an ambush?!

Actually, Elias could be nothing more than some intricately designed simulated prison!

I did catch wind of humans developing some kind of virtual reality device when we were captives...!

W-Wasn't that just for video games?!

I'm just saying it could be a possibility!

I think you may be overthinking this.

I know we're dealing with humans here, but your imagination is going wild.

Urgh, I don't know!

I wish I could count on others for a change sometimes!

Do you know how tiring it is dealing with everything myself all the time?!

Mayor...!

I-In that case, maybe I could...!

Er...

I think you turn turned your screen off... We can still hear everything...

AAAHHH!! W-WHAT?!

Amelia, pull the plug on that right now!!

Sigh...

Mayor?

Siiiiigh...

Mayor!

Geez, what?!

You seem very exhausted.

Of course, I'm exhausted!

Is it because, normally, you'd be scheming all day about how to exploit the sprites, but instead, a human just popped out of nowhere?

Tch... aren't you just as shaken as I am?

You used to shiver in fright just thinking about humans... How are you so calm?

I am not calm!

I'm barely holding it together, relying entirely on the belief that you'll get us through this, Mayor!

B-But since you keep acting jittery and anxious like some petty little coward... I'm starting to reach my limit, too.

Is there really no solution at all?

Oh, for crying out loud! Just let me think for a second! I'll tell you when I have something!

Mayor... may I say something?

You've never held back your snark before, so what's with the sudden politeness?

Snark? When have I ever—

There you go again!

You misunderstand. I only harbor pure admiration and absolute respect for you, Mayor!

Sigh... just say what you have to say already.

I still remember...

Huh?

Back when we first arrived in Elias...

No... the day we finally escaped from the humans.

Your unparalleled decisiveness...

As well as your warm yet utterly unremarkable personality.

A perfect ratio of perfection and imperfection.

Make some sense! Are you complimenting me here or insulting me?!

The dimensional portal you built using parts you smuggled out of the assembly factory, one by one...

You could have left by yourself, but instead, you almost got caught trying to bring as many of us along as possible.

I remember the look of sorrow on your face when you realized you couldn't bring everyone with you.

I still remember all of this.

......

You do?

All of that...?

Mayor...

I know you can do this.

Even if you've overcome a crisis once, another will always come.

But if you're still the Mayor I know, you'll get through this too!

I believe in you!

......

Thank you, Amelia.

Oh... er... y-you're very welcome!

Hey, where are you going?! Amelia? Hey!

Where's she off to in such a rush all of a sudden?

Hmm...

I sure did handle things wonderfully back then...

I had a lot of luck on my side, but maybe it was sheer desperation?

I believe I was spurred on by a "do or die" mentality.

It's all a blur now.

I've changed a lot ever since I arrived in Elias. It's like I'm slowly blending into this strange place.

And it's not just me... I think everyone else used to be sharper too.

Most of the ones in command now used to all be officers who outranked me back home.

Given how rigorous our officer exams were, there's no way they'd be this clueless.

Elias... Looking back, this place really is strange.

Is this world casting some kind of spell on us?

Or... have we just stopped using our brains because of how low the average intelligence is here?

......

Maybe I should ask one of the locals.

The one visiting Monatium right now... She might know something...

Huh?

What did you just say?

Is her hearing impaired because her ears are so tiny?

I asked if there was some kind of magic in this world that lowers intelligence.

Is that why everyone's such fools here?

Excuse me?!

You do realize that I'm the second-in-command of the Witch Court... Are you calling me a fool too?

Hmm... is that so?

Sorry. My mind's been a mess ever since that human showed up.

Are humans really that terrifying?

Aside from their larger build, they didn't seem like much...

Don't judge based on their appearance!

That's easy for you to say when you've never had to deal with them before!

Hmm.

I suppose not having enough information on them definitely makes them a wild card...

It might not be a bad idea to learn more about them just in case...

Okay, Elena, let's hear it...

Tell me more about what humans are.

They're cunning, ruthless liars.

That won't get us anywhere. You'll have to be more specific.

How should I put it...

Humans are always prepared.

It's like they have no idea what's coming, yet they're constantly planning for the future.

What do you mean?

Okay, take insurance for example... it's mind-blowing how many different types there are!

What's the big deal about insurance? That doesn't seem out of the ordinary, does it?

They've got insurance for health issues, for their home caving in, for financial losses, and even for getting scammed by insurance itself...!

Then there's travel insurance, car insurance, boat insurance, airplane insurance...!

How does anyone manage to pay for all that and still have any spending money left?!

Huh... that sure is quite a lot. Are these humans just overly anxious by nature?

Yes! That's why we lost to them!

All we did was fly through the sky, and their automated missiles shot us down!

They're the kind of freaks who even have alien invasion insurance!

Missiles...? So... they take a lot of precautions?

Yes! Not to mention, they say they'll serve sausage stir fry for dinner but then they slap some braised black beans on your plate instead. They're ruthless!

I mean, what they put on their menu might change depending on the situation—

Shut it!

Like you wouldn't be annoyed if you were anticipating sweet potato fries but got Mocharons instead!

Tch.

But wait... are all humans the same?

What if the one that wandered into your city isn't as bad as you think?

Have you never met a single decent human there?

All I'm saying is that you haven't even met them properly. Do you really need to be this scared already?

Hmm... that's...

You're right... there were a few good ones...

I did come across a few humans who were reasonable. Some were even more intelligent than I was.

But they were few and far between!

99% of the humans I met were evil!

I thought you spent your time there in some prison?

That's probably why, don't you think?

You only experienced the ones who locked you up.

T-That's... er...

Each individual is bound to be different.

Just as some witches are fools, some sprites are clever.

What truly matters is recognizing those differences and making the most of them.

Hmm...

So pull yourself together.

You and I still have a plan to carry out.

Stop freaking out over something like this.

Erm...

Huh... they're not an advanced civilization, but this one is still pretty sharp...

I'll have to plan out my betrayal perfectly later...

Excuse me?

Huh? Ahh, er, nothing!

This was really helpful!

Oh, I'm glad.

So, what now? Have you come up with a good idea or something?

More or less. First... I need to face this head-on.

I have to figure out what kind of person that human is...

Suppression Unit Chief? What are you doing here?

Ack, Mayor?! Preparations to intercept the human are complete!

We're standing by, ready to move out anytime!

I thought you'd be cowering in some corner, but it looks like you're holding firm.

I just follow orders.

Also, the Chief Secretary told me to stand ready since orders could come down at any moment.

Amelia said that?

Yes!

You're very sharp, Amelia...

What are your orders, Mayor? Shall we move out now?

First, send out the drones to assess the enemy's strength.

Observe how they respond and send the data to the Analysis Unit.

Understood.

Ah... Chief Canna?

Yes?

You were originally from the Assault Unit, right?

That's right! We were the unstoppable frontline unit! Charge!

We were the first to get crushed by those human bastards though... heh.

Yeah. You and I... we're from completely different backgrounds, aren't we?

You come from a combat background, while I was in military research... Doesn't it bother you to take orders from me? Have you ever regretted becoming the Suppression Unit Chief?

What do you mean?

Is this some kind of loyalty test?

Excuse me! Give me some credit!

If I were going to test your loyalty, I'd do it more discreetly!

True. Knowing you, you'd probably seize my personal computer and call it a security check.

Exactly!

Hmm... Have I ever regretted it, you ask...

I'd be lying if I said I never have.

But isn't that the nature of trust in a commanding officer?

Some orders you find questionable, but you follow through anyway.

A soldier isn't a soldier for nothing!

Insubordination is something you wrestle with until it's the absolute last resort.

More often than not, orders that seem illogical now end up making sense later.

I've seen plenty of comrades thrown into a space brig for jumping to conclusions and committing insubordination.

Oh, really?

Yes! Especially your orders, Mayor... they're hard to make sense of a lot of times.

......

......

I'm not getting docked for this, am I?

I'll think about it.

Haha... hah...

Still, you're a war hero, Mayor.

No matter how questionable an order may seem, I'll see it through to the end!

Why's that?

Honestly, you've accomplished more than even the Propaganda Unit's Vanguard Officer.

You saved all of us, even without a combat background.

No past victories or honors measure up to what you've accomplished. Of course, I'd follow your every command.

Heh.

Oh? I wasn't feeling all that great, so that was nice to hear.

Okay, I won't dock you for what you said earlier!

Ah, haha... hah! Thank you...

Oh, I almost forgot! Here, this is for you!

What's this? A flash drive?

It's from the Intel Unit Chief.

The one I replaced earlier?

No. The one who replaced her.

This one seems far more competent than the last one.

What's inside?

This is a summary of enemy intel, based on footage from the hidden camera placed on Agent Rohne.

I'm not sure how useful it will be, though...

Seems like the human has a bit of empathy and a grasp of modern technology.

They even recommended some countermeasures. Might be worth checking out.

Oh, really?

This new one might actually be useful.

What does she look like?

No idea. They mailed the Suppression Unit a letter made from ransom-note-style cutout letters.

......

Are all Intel Unit officers like that?

Beats me...

Though, I did wonder if the previous chief is just pretending to be the new one...

Those intelligence folks are all basket cases...

You're convening another meeting? What are you thinking, Mayor?

Didn't you run off in embarrassment earlier after sulking and whining earlier?

Pretty sharp remarks coming from a mere Medical Unit resident...

Hmph.

Fine, whatever. I admit I looked a bit pathetic earlier.

I'll own up to that!

But can anyone here say they weren't pathetic?

Did any one of you have anything useful to offer when I asked for ideas?

No, you all just hesitated and didn't know what to do.

Exactly.

Just as you have nothing to say, Mayor, the unit chiefs have nothing to say to you either.

We're all petty and worthless...!

Don't lump me in with all of you, Amelia! Why do you think I convened another meeting?!

That's the difference between you and me, okay?!

In the end, I actually come up with something!

You've figured out how to deal with the human?!

Yes! I've got an idea now.

I've already relayed my orders to Chief Canna and deployed her.

The Suppression Unit Chief? So it's war again?

For now, we have to take an aggressive stance.

We use human tactics to take on the human.

They shot us down as soon as they saw us, too, so we'll return the favor and strike first this time.

Didn't we invade them first?

They didn't know that then, though, did they?!

We intended to invade them, sure, but THEY are the ones who threw the first punch!

That's true...

They did manage to sabotage our spaceship's interface with some weird program virus.

But do we really need to fight again? Can't we just talk to them?

Hehehe.

Mayor...?

Are you laughing sheepishly because you got blindsided with the question without actually reading their report?

Geez, I read it, okay?!

That's why we will have talks.

Excuse me?

What are you...?

We are going to fight, and we are going to have talks.

We'll do both and win both.

What kind of absurd strategy is that supposed to be?

If we beat the human through battle, we'll just capture and freeze them.

Given the special conditions of Elias, that method is the only way to properly neutralize the human threat.

And if we lose?

Then we talk!

If the human is willing to listen, they'll hear us out even if we were hostile at first.

No matter what you do, those who are open to listening will listen, and those who aren't never will.

Given that... why should we humble ourselves from the get-go?!

This just sounds like a half-baked "if it's meant to be, it'll be" plan. Are you sure you thought this through?

If we are to get through this with talks, that should be the first option.

Listen.

I don't pretend to be good.

If anything, I admit I'm the villain here.

I use others and always think of betraying everyone.

But you know what? My city, Monatium... I will not have it kneel in humiliation from the start.

I refuse to have the denizens I've rescued bow their heads to neither sprite nor human.

I am the Mayor here!

If they want to have talks, they'll have to either look up at us or stand with us on equal footing.

We carved out a place for ourselves in Elias.

Sure, we milked the sprites for all they were worth to get this land and power, but the world was never fair anyway.

We used any means necessary to get what we have now!

You do whatever you can... That's the way things work here!

That's why I'll choose the path that is most effective and advantageous for us!

Yes, yes, that's all good and all... but it only works if we succeed, right? Worst case scenario, we all end up doomed.

If I fail, I'll go down alone! If I fail, just turn your backs on me!

Tell the human that I made you do everything! I mean... it's true, isn't it?

Not to mention, that's how you all felt from the start. I would have felt the same in your shoes.

But if we first prove we're not to be underestimated, and only then engage in talks...

Even the human won't dare look down on us.

At least considering all the possible outcomes I've accounted for.

Mayor...!

Hmm.

Fine. Not too shabby. As always, Elena, you're no pushover.

You rescued our kind, which gave you an advantage, but it wasn't the only reason you were chosen as our leader.

Okay then. Does anyone have anything else to add? No?

Then we'll do it my way, yes?

Mayor! All unit chiefs have expressed their approval!

Good! It's unanimous! Heh, heh, now that's the Monatium way!

Mayor! It's Chief Canna on comms!

She's about to make contact with the human! She's requesting an operation code!

Operation code...

...Freedom Interchange! Execute!