2nd Night: The Gift of the Fool

Have you heard of the story called "The Gift of the Magi," Reindeer?

Personally, the truly moving moment kinda falls flat!

Hair can grow out, but the special family watch is gone forever!

From the way the story goes, the husband prolly won't be getting a new watch.

And every time the wife uses the combs, she'd feel real bad, and every time the husband see the combs, he'd feel kinda dumb.

And that's bad. 'Course they wanted to be nice, but their gifts didn't make them magi, they made them dummies!

...Yes, that's why this is the perfect present for her.

Hum, hum, hum. Hum, hum, huuuum. Hum, hum, hum... Hum, hummmm♪

Slashing through the night, and tearing through the sky♪ This is how Santa should be!

Fun... N-no. This is work! It's real work!

Singing is part of Santa's job!

Pretty... Rei... Reindeer, you've sure got an eye for talent!

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In any event, the first request will be... from Jea... Jean...

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I-I know that!

Last year's request was for a dagger with a sharp blade, but she instead got an "elegant older gentleman"...

What's an "elegant older gentleman"?

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...?

I don't really get it, but that's not a good present for Jean Kay!

I have the bestest present for her, so let's head towards the caves!

So, how do you get down there, anyways...?

Again. We're doing this. Again. This year!?

It's fine. It's fine. How about a drink, Martha?

And this year Ushiwakamaru is drunk, too...

No, no, no, no. I am not all at drunk.

Yooou...shall not pass. (Talking to a Jizo statue)

Stop talking nonsense. We only need one person who talks like that.

Maaarrrthaaa! Make me your Steel Fist Yukhoe, Yukhoe!

Use your fists! Smash the meat! You know, the thing that magically tastes better that way!

Okay. Fine. You two are a pain this year, too!

But Christmas is so much fun. Why didn't you tell me last year?

Hey, Martha. Hey. Hey. Hey.

It's just pains in the butt all over the place! I thought this might happen!

Booooooo...

Jing Ke! Do you have any other requests?

Hmm?

I have plenty of alcohol, so just Yukhoe will be fine! (Belch)

Oh, oh! Over here! Over here! I have a request.

Sure, what is it?

I'd like a crockpot. Would that be okay?

A crockpot?

What is a crockpot? Is it for crocodiles?

No, I was hoping to make some soft-shell turtle soup.

Oh, turtle soup...

Turtle soup, huh!? That sounds good! That will invigorate you!

We can always make our Master eat it! It'll be one wild night!

Well unfortunately, I didn't procure any soft-shell turtles.

Why would you need to be invigorated on such a holy day?

Sure, I can see you celebrating a bit, but more than anything it is a time for reverence and

Hahahahaha, what are you saying, Martha? There's a huge turtle right here.

That's Tarasque! Tarasque!!

(You need to... pick better friends...) ↑Said while trembling like a soaked, frightened puppy

Hey, Ushiwakamaru. Don't you feel bad for Tarasque?

Besides, no way a turtle this big would taste good!

Hmm... Then how about giving it a try?!

Hahahahaha! Tarasque soup! Tarasque soup!

Do you see this, Reindeer? Look at these weirdos...

All the adults are ganging up on that poor turtle.

It's like a scene from hell. This is bad... This is real, real bad.

Yeah, I feel bad for Tarasque, but seeing grown-ups acting like this...!

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Santa Alter told me what happened last year, but... This is far worse than I heard...

Oh, Santa and Reindeer. You came again? So soon?

Yes! We're here! And just like last year you're all sooo baaad!

You're all getting ingrate... inebred... Drunk! Drunk in a cave! And you call yourselves adults!?

Come onnn! Are you dummies!?

...Weren't you taller last year?

H-hey! Don't pick on me! I'm going to grow! I'm GONNA get taller!

Whaat? Santa?

Eek!

Oh, Santa's here again! Come, come. Have a drink.

Jing Ke, Santa's scared and hiding. That's no good.

We need to smoke her out. Like a mole.

If you want to chop off the head of every soldier in a fortress, it's best to just burn it down.

So, let's burn everything!

R-Reindeer! Reindeer!? Ushiwakamaru is scaring me!

This is why I hate drunk people! This isn't Christmas at all!

Punishment... What a spirited idea... I mean, splendid idea.

Brother would just put his trembling fingers up his brow in frustration...

But my sister-in-law, Masako. Wow, was she strict.

If one didn't continuously demonstrate great martial might and feats of strength, she might take their head at any moment.

Punishment. That is good.

But if you don't give me a good punishment, I, Ushiwakamaru, shall bite back without hesitation!

Let your fists do the talking... That sounds nice. But we are an all-girls club.

Out of respect for our friendship, I shall be on their side! Also, I'll make sure you forget everything while I'm at it, Master.

It would be awkward next time we saw each other. Right?

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Ha. A fight? Yeah! I can do that!

Come on, Reindeer, give me your orders!

When I win, make sure you praise me a lot!

The sad drunk girls' party is coming this way!

(Panting) W-we won!

Yes, I am the bestest Santa!

Cu...

N-N-NO! I'm not! I'm not!

You can praise me as much as you want, but for being the best Santa!

No calling me cute! No, no, no! Boo...

Thank you...

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Oh man, we lost! It's lose even if you drunk while you're fun!

(Sigh) That didn't sober them up at all...

Anyways, here's your presents, weird ladies!

Ahahahaha. What's this? (Gulp, gulp)

Some sort of new alcohol? (Gulp, gulp)

This tastes funny... (Gulp, gulp)

It's a detoxifier.

What.

Servants shouldn't be getting drunk! That's bad, that's real bad.

This medicine...is so you always keep your sense of duty as a Servant.

Oh, please do be careful. It also means if you drink any alcohol you'll take damage.

Th-that can't be!

I can't drink? Wh-what's the point in living now...?

Darn it... I see. So that's where this was going...

Whew. Did you see how great the presents I gave them this year were?

Things were finally about to get really wild and fun... It's going to be tough being sober on Christmas.

Oh my. I can't use alcohol as an excuse to do things anymore...

(Glance)

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What's wrong, Reindeer? Your face is all red...

What's wrong, Master? Did something happen, Master?

Is there a reason to lock eyes with Mata Hari, Master!?

Hehehehe.

Umm, Santa. You didn't make this medicine... Did you?

No, I didn't know how, so I had a Caster make it. I don't know who he was but he wore white clothes

Did he have long hair? It was long hair, wasn't it? Hahahahaha, let's go stab him. Stabbity stab stab!

I shall accompany you to the very gates of hell! Haha, hahaha, hahahahaha...!

I think I'll come along, too. Martha, you handle the rest.

What do you mean, handle the rest

Okay, let's head to the next one, Reindeer! It smells like alcohol here, and it's making me dizzy...

Okay, you. Wait juuust one second. (Grab)

Gah.

Wh-what is it?! I'm Santa! I'm busy!

You already got your present! Lemme go!

I need to talk to you.

Call me Santa!

Okay, okay. Santa, Santa.

...Now. What were you thinking when you chose those presents?

What I was thinking... I wanted to pick something that would be good for them.

Hmm... I think Christmas presents are more about making people happy than being practical.

The celebration of Christmas began as an opportunity to celebrate His birth.

It's not about having a good gift, but rather about making someone happy... Don't you think?

Nope!

If Christmas is a day of blessing, then giving a useful gift is important.

...It's true everyone might not be happy with my gift, but...

If it ends up being useful, then their happiness really isn't that important. That's what I think.

...Hmm, I see. I suppose that way of thinking is

It makes sense, but...

...Reindeer, can I leave the rest to you?

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...Understood. That's all from me. I thank you for your present.

Good luck, Santa.

Haha, yesss!

Okay, let's go deliver our next present, Reindeer!