Section 6: Dreaming of the Nomadic Life

Jaguar Warrior... Truly a fearsome opponent.

True... I barely understood half of what she was saying, even without the feverish ramblings.

Yup. I'm glad I've been able to hand out so many presents. Zerco's happy about it too.

Baaa. (I'm Zerco.) Baaa. (I'm Zerco.)

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All right then, I think now's a good time for that second Santa illustrated story I promised.

And since we're flying to our destination, I believe I will play a flight attendant this time...

Ladies and gentlemen, flight Xmas-1, bound for the sixth gate should be touching down in approximately one hour.

Please ensure that your seatbelt is fastened and that your seat backs and tray tables are in their upright and locked positions...

...Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy our in-flight movie.

...Nowadays, one can travel great distances while comfortably seated, and even be treated to a film.

It is so very much better than walking...I wonder if airplanes are good civilization or not...

It's time for Gil...

...and Santa's...

..."Get to Know Uruk"!

King of Uruk, I've brushed up on the underworld a bit, and there's something I'd like to ask you.

One thing I learned is that the underworld is home to a "god of life." What's that about?

Life doesn't seem to be a big part of the underworld. Does this god help to grow plants?

Oho. A most excellent question, Santa. You are correct! There is one rather...peculiar god to be found in the underworld.

His name is Dumuzid! He is the god of livestock, rich in wisdom but bereft of courage!

Dumuzid, hm? I've never heard that name before.

Dumuzid, later known as Tammuz, became the god of death and resurrection.

But before I can tell you his story, I must tell you the tale of the greedy goddess.

For this man...has the great misfortune of being Ishtar's husband!

Hmm. I know you need the God of Shepherds, but are you sure I'm the best choice to play him? Did you make sure to clear my portrait rights?

Still, I don't mind doing it, since you're paying me extra and all. So, who am I wooing this time?

I'd be fine with a rich heiress just coming of age. The hotter she is, the better.

Then again, I guess money IS more important right now, since running a proper farm is VERY expensive...

I want to raise sheep, grow wheat, brew beer, and hold tours. I also have ten wives, so I'll need a huge house with a separate bedroom for each wife!

Yeah, I'll be honest! I'm powerless to resist the allure of wealth and fame!

That's great to hear, yes! I've got wealth and gold to spare, oh yes!

Now then, are you the fool who married me?

I guess you haven't learned the difference between bravery and recklessness yet, have you?

Feeling...weak! Strength...fading! Can I go home now!?

She's nothing like the goddess I expected! Not to say that she isn't beautiful...!

I see. So Dumuzid is an idiot.

Indeed. I hate to say it, but Dumuzid only became a god after acquiring Authority. Before that, he was King of Uruk; his reign came between King Lugalbanda's and mine.

At any rate, Dumuzid's greatest weakness was a lust for glory.

He foolishly believed that marrying Ishtar would lead to him being worshipped by more people even than her.

So he didn't even love her? How cruel of him.

Heh. That's something only he knows for sure. But marry they did, at least on paper.

As Ishtar's husband, Dumuzid gained a position amongst the gods and began whiling away his days in Uruk.

Little did he know that Ishtar would shortly cause an incident that would drive everyone mad.

"Ishtar's Descent to the Underworld"... The story of Ishtar's defeat at Ereshkigal's hands.

After she lost her life in the underworld, the surface fell into a panic.

You see, Ishtar was the goddess of fertility, as she inherited her father's Authority over the harvest.

So with her suddenly gone, crops were bound to fail.

...What a pain she is. She causes chaos when she's alive, and even dead she makes no end of trouble.

She is, as they say in the human world, the sort we cannot live with, nor without. She's basically a fortune stone too powerful for humans to use.

At any rate, the wise god Enki resurrected her body using the grass and water of life.

However...

Don't mock me. The laws of the underworld are absolute, and any who break them must be punished. Enki is no exception.

As the ruler of the underworld, I cannot simply let anyone go between here and the surface as they please.

Her body may be restored, but her soul remains under my domain. That's not changing, no matter what sort of gifts you try to ply me with.

The only thing I'll accept is another soul in Ishtar's place. Otherwise, the whole balance of the world will be thrown into chaos.

Ereshkigal is certainly responsible, isn't she? Why can't Ishtar be more responsible with her own life?

...Believe it or not, that greedy goddess IS responsible, at least in her own way.

Part of her acutely feels the weight of the responsibility her divinity confers, while another part enjoys it, and yet another respects it.

All that aside, Ereshkigal really had no desire to destroy the surface world.

If anything, having Ishtar running around the underworld was nothing but a nuisance.

So the Queen of Kur set the Queen of Heaven free, though only temporarily.

Ishtar wasted no time making her way to the surface, where she ran hither and thither to find a soul to take her place.

But there was no god that would possibly consent to being a prisoner of the underworld, not even for her.

...Don't tell me she forced a human to take her place?

No, she did not. She may be rash and impetuous, but she is still fundamentally good.

More importantly, her pride would not permit another to save her life.

So, until and unless someone gladly volunteered to give her their soul of their own volition...

...she would never let someone else take her place.

Furthermore, her sacred prostitutes were the only ones who were truly willing to trade their lives for hers.

And not even Ishtar would willingly sacrifice one of her own servants.

Thus, Ishtar resigned herself to her fate and headed back to the underworld...but not before making one final stop at her city, Uruk.

There, she saw her husband mourning the loss of his wife.

Yahooo! Springtime is here again! Oh, I'm so sad about Ishtar going to the underworld!

Go on, everyone! Eat, drink, and be merry! There's never been a better time to celebrate!

You're looking at the new patron deity of Uruk! Now I'M the one in charge of all its wealth and riches!

Ahh, it's so sad that she's gone! The only time I've felt sadder is when I hit it big in the stock market!

That's awful.

Indeed. Dumuzid was holding triumphal processions every day of the week to celebrate Ishtar's death.

Of course, Ishtar was not happy about it, but even the other gods found themselves a bit...disgusted.

Much as they understood how he felt, they couldn't help but deplore his foolishness and poor taste.

You've got some nerve, you dimwit!

I didn't think you'd be all broken up about my death, but I sure as hell didn't expect you to make it into a national holiday!

If that's how you wanna play this, then no more Ms. Nice Goddess! Gallû Spirits! Here's my substitute. Right here. Take him.

Aw crap, it's the piperI mean, Ishtar!?

Wait! No! I did nothing wrong! All I did was take your bank accounts, your PIN, and all your worldly possessions for myself!

I promise you, I didn't do anything illegal! You must understand, this was all very above board!

Ereshkigal, please, listen to me! I believe I have a right to contest this nomination!

But Ereshkigal refused to listen to Dumuzid's pleas, and accepted him as Ishtar's substitute.

DaviI mean, Dumuzid did everything he could to fight this.

His many desperate attempts included begging Utu to turn him into a serpent and asking his older sister, Geshtinanna, to hide him, but in the end, he was caught and taken to the underworld.

I demand a fair trial! What did I do that's so wrong!?

Nothing. And that's the problem... Had you just mourned for Ishtar, things may be different, but...

Why would I waste my time on that?

If one patron god dies, another has to take their place as soon as possible, or the economy goes kaput.

This isn't over, you know! I'll be back for an appeal!!!

...Even if he did bring this on himself, I can't bear to see my little brother like this.

Ereshkigal, would you please reconsider?

Ishtar may have refused to accept me as her replacement, but I can still take my brother's place.

If the cosmic scales require a soul for a soul, can't you just let me stay in the underworld instead?

Geshtinanna... I can't believe you'd go that far just to help that worthless good-for-nothing...

Very well. Out of respect for your devotion, I will give Dumuzid the same sentence I did Nergal.

If he is willing to leave half of his Authority here, I will permit you to take your brother's place for half of every year.

(...If Ereshkigal relaxes the underworld's laws that were set in place by the old Anunnaki deities, she'll be the one punished for it...)

(She knows that, yet she is still willing to show mercy. Never mind how hard it must be for her, being saddled with the underworld all by herself...)

...You have my deepest thanks, Ereshkigal.

I hereby swear that I shall attend to your every need during my time in the underworld.

I know that grape vines don't grow here, but I'm sure I can at least bring you their scent.

Geshtinanna...

Hey there. Sorry to interrupt your moment, but I think I'm gonna bounce. Got stuff to do on the surface, sis.

Oh, and I'm gonna take the water of life with me, so in exchange, I'll leave this Authority behind.

It's the unbeatable power I acquired during this whole kerfuffle...

The Authority over serpents and gazelles I used to transform and make my escape! How cool is that!?

WhaHey! What am I supposed to do with the Authority of a womanizing jerk who only knows how to run away by turning into serpents and gazelles!?

Arrrgh! Why couldn't he have at least left behind his Authority over sheep!?

Thus, Dumuzid returned to the surface as the god of resurrection, and was thereafter worshipped as the ruler of death and rebirth.

No doubt it was a most humiliating and disastrous experience for him.

...King of Uruk, there's one thing I still don't understand.

Both Nergal and Dumuzid returned to the surface, which means there must be a way to get back.

So why did Ereshkigal stay in the underworld?

In Sumerian myth, did she truly stay in the underworld all her life, without ever once going to the surface?

...That would basically make her a prisoner. It would be like spending eternity inside a stone chamber.

That was her role, and the sort of person she was. Someone had to serve as the pillar of the underworld.

If she were ever to venture to the surface, the underworld as we know it would be destroyed.

For better or worse, she cared for the underworld far more than necessary. She trusted her love more than her desires.

Thanks to her devotion, Uruk's underworld remained peaceful and orderly.

She would never abandon her duty merely because it was hard. That was the greatest Authority she possessed.

Do you understand, Santa?

She was the only one who could manage the great feat of ruling the underworld in all its frigidity.

...

And that concludes our in-flight movie and Santa's second illustrated story. I hope you enjoyed it.

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...I see. I'm sorry my story wasn't clearer. I was afraid this might happen...

I must have inadvertently polished it too much, and taken it to the realm of high literature...

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...Good question. Even in Sumerian myth, Ereshkigal doesn't seem like a bad god at all.

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You know...that's a good point. Ereshkigal DOESN'T have a reason to do this.

So, if not her, then who is attacking Chaldea?

Do you have any idea, Fujimaru?

Well done. That is the logical conclusion to this story, after all, since it concerns who gets to rule the underworld.

Oh yes, Dumuzid is part of this too. But he wouldn't do anything unless there was something in it for him.

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Ah! Master, down there!

There's another Servant of the same type as me in front of the sixth gate!

Evening, fellow underworld travelers.

I've been touring this place myself and just happened to get here first. You can call me Mister Sheep.

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You really are the same type as me... But, why are you wandering here alone? Who are you?

Didn't I tell you? Touring this place. I'm not at all associated with the underworld, and I'm not your enemy.

Sometimes I like to toss out the odd spoiler, too. After all, I'm not on Nergal's side either.

Nergal is the one attacking your base and holding Ereshkigal prisoner.

Well, more accurately, it's less him and more the malice he left behind in the underworld.

Now that the gods have left Mesopotamia, they can't materialize unless humans explicitly summon them.

I swear, I can't tell if he's just that resilient, or that hell-bent (no pun intended) on holding a grudge.

Usually he wouldn't amount to more than a pile of residual thoughts wandering around the underworld, but with Ereshkigal weakened, I suppose he decided to bet it all on one last move.

He's trying to steal Ereshkigal's rulership of the underworld and reign supreme as a god once again.

The age of Nergal, god of the sun, is long over. But Nergal, god of the underworld? Maybe not.

Unlike Mesopotamia, the underworld is still alive and kicking, so to speak, so if he can become its god, he can take the place over.

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This rumbling is coming from nearby...! You're not the only one here, Brother Sheep!

I'm sure not! Nergal's been hiding out here, waiting to ambush you!

He thought he could keep would-be intruders out by closing the underworld's gates, but you two still made it this far.

That pissed Nergal off, so then he figured he'd take you out with a trap.

Too bad for him I wasn't going to let him end this story on such a grimdark note!

Who wants to see a Christmas story where Santa Claus never shows up!? I certainly don't!

Cursed incubus! How dare you interfere!?

As if Santa Claus wasn't bad enough! How did you learn of my plan!?

It should be impossible for anyone outside the abyss to know what transpires there...!

Oh, that? Trade secret. Let's just say I know more little birdies than you might think.

...You really let your greed get the better of you this time, Nergal.

Even if you do become king of the underworld now, what do you think's going to happen? Are you really that ticked off about losing to a girl?

If you'd only bided your time and waited for Ereshkigal to fade away, there would've been no one leaking your secret plans.

...What do you know, you uncouth Peeping Nightmare!? Let us see how much you can chatter on after I have killed you and your little friends!

Whoops, it seems I've gone and poked the bear. Looks like we're just going to have to fight!

Very well, Santa! You too, Master of Chaldea, my old friend!

If we want to celebrate Christmas, we'll have to beat this evil Ghost of Not-Christmas Past first!

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Aaarrrgggh! I was so clooose!

Phew, glad that's over with, eh? You were pretty tough out there!

Oh, and I should apologize for writing him off as just a residual evil thought.

I'm shocked he had such a grudge that he was still surviving on it thousands of years after Ereshkigal kicked his butt.

Man, I'd hate to get on one of these ancient gods' bad sides. I feel sorry for the souls who'll have to live in the next underworld.

I am grateful for your help, Brother Sheep. Now, could you please explain something to me?

Since we just defeated the mastermind, does this mean the attack on Chaldea will stop?

Nope.

After all, Ereshkigal's the one sending the plague there.

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Yes, that's the troublesome part. Just because Nergal is gone doesn't mean the plague goes with him.

Even as we speak, Ereshkigal is attacking Chaldea from the abyss in order to kill herself.

You see, in order to help you, she broke the oath she took as a goddess.

In consequence, she should have lost her Spirit Origin and returned to the normal underworld system. But...

...she couldn't do that.

It's because there are still humans at Chaldea who remember her, isn't it?

Gods die when faith in them evaporates and there is no one left who remembers them.

Ereshkigal tried to comply with her oath and disappear, but because of all the people in Chaldea who remember her, and the records of her battles stores there, she wasn't able to do so fully.

So...it isn't that she bears any animosity towards Chaldea.

It's just that, if she's going to disappear, she has to make Chaldea disappear too.

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I imagine Nergal must have gotten into her head.

Look no further than the fact that she's already finished her ablutions.

She chose to cut out that part of herself so that she wouldn't be a burden to you.

The reason she didn't react to seeing you is because she's not the same goddess she was back then.

You saw her yourself back at the third gate, right? How did she seem to you?

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Now that she's not under the influence of a human avatar, she's the cold-blooded Queen of Kur that the myths made her out to be.

The problem is that Ereshkigal never much liked her true self's sense of responsibility.

After she got rid of her memories of what happened back then and returned to being the same goddess she was before...

...she couldn't stand the thought of letting herself off the hook just by forgetting about you.

Now that Ereshkigal knows about the outside world, her heart is shaking the foundations of the underworld.

Ereshkigal decided that leaving the underworld in that state was too dangerous. And so too, she thought, was this version of herself.

So she tried to erase her own existence, and leave Nergal in charge.

As we speak, she's bathing in the pure water of the abyss in an attempt to dissolve herself.

She thinks that's the best way for her to take responsibility.

I swear. Depressing enough for you?

Then again, I should've realized that breaking the goddess's oath could end this way.

If only she could have disappeared on her own, and spared the rest of us all this trouble.

You bet. You know me! I'm always two steps ahead!

Individual resolve and personal dignity can be nourishing for the soul, but that in itself isn't really enough to get me motivated to help out.

Which is why...

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...this is your call to make, Fujimaru.

If you want to save Chaldea, you'll have to defeat the Queen of Kur.

But if you let Ereshkigal disappear, you'll be playing right into Nergal's hands. And I really don't think you want him ruling the underworld in her place.

Souls would suffer and disappear... The air would go stagnant... Maggots, flies, and decay would spread everywhere... In the end, the whole underworld would be nothing more than a graveyard.

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...Come on, Master. Ereshkigal is waiting for us in the abyss.

I have presents to deliver, and you have to save Chaldea. That's why we've come this far.

Right you are. Besides, just getting to the abyss will be eighty percent of your battle.

Don't worry your little head over it too much. Oh, and as for this gate's lock...

Pardon me!

Baaa! (Hey!) Baaa! (Get your hands off me!)

Here we go. This ought to take care of things.

That's... ...What IS that?

I guess you could say...it's a dream that a different you wished for?

I burned a ton of calories to make it this far, after all. It's only fair I leave with something rare enough to be worth the trouble.

Don't worry, I'm not going to eat it. Setting aside that it's not really to my tastes, it isn't even from this universe.

Rest assured that I'll take good care of it. At least until your wish and you manage to find one another.

Okay, Santa Claus et al, it looks like this is goodbye! Did you enjoy this? I certainly did!

But don't let your guard down! You'll be up against what is arguably your most terrifying foe yet at the seventh gate!

Someone who belongs to neither the Ereshkigal side nor the Nergal side; they are desire incarnate, and want nothing more right now than to beat you two into a pulp...

It would be safe to call this foe the greatest demon Mesopotamia ever encountered.

Be ready to make the leap. And to be disappointed.

The greatest demon... Could it be the other pillar of the underworld?

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Hahaha, now that I've fanned the flames, I think I'll take my leave! Farewell, Fujimaru of Chaldea!

Next time, come see me directly! Hopefully, that future will be one that brings hope to the far reaches of the land!